It Cannot Get Any Worse
Not Funny
Officer Cjersti Chapman was annoyed. She was the youngest police officer on the Grosse Ile Police Force. She wanted to go somewhere exciting, like Detroit or Chicago and fight to protect people, but her new husband insisted she at least start some place calm, learn the ropes, stay alive for a few years. He said he could not stay with Cjersti if he was never sure whether she would come home alive or in a casket each day. However Cjersti was concerned she would die of boredom policing this place. Breaking up teenage parties, busting shoplifters at Kroger or nabbing the vile middle schoolers vandalizing the playscape is about as dramatic as law enforcement ever got in this place. Cjersti had seen action in Afghanistan. She had been shot at, and done some shooting too. She knew about setting up defensive perimeters and stalking a sniper – skills of absolutely no use in this Mayberry town.
Now, to top things off, she was stuck here alone while every first responder except her, a fat fireman, and two volunteer fire trainees were over at a last minute awards celebration put on by the Benchman Corporation. Free steak dinner, free drinks, and cash door prizes, and she was stuck here holding down the fort. Cjersti was not sure whether she was selected to remain behind because she was the youngest officer on the force, because she was the first woman patrol officer, or because she was the first Black police officer on the force. Probably all three.
Cjersti was trying to decide whether to drive around aimlessly or find a quiet corner to park and play Panda Pop on her phone, when the radio squawked.
“Base 14 to 231: Multiple shootings reported at 3245 Riverfront Road, armed and dangerous subjects at large, whereabouts unknown. Suspects driving a grey Cadillac ATS license number ARD 439. No backup is available, both bridges are down. A sheriff boat is on its way eta 22 minutes.”
Cjersti stared at the radio. Someone was playing a joke. They must have conspired with dispatch to set her up before they all left her here. They were constantly harassing her with what they considered jokes or pranks. Like this, they were not very funny. Rolling her eyes she picked up the microphone, she was not going to fall for this one. “Come again Base 14?”
“Terrence Hilderman!, someone shot Terrence and some kid who is at his house. We got like six calls from the house. Both of them are hurt pretty bad. They are afraid the suspects will come back. Get over there now Cjersti and your military training better be good.”
Could this be real? Probably a hoax. Oh well, it was something to do. At least she could use the siren and drive fast. That would be fun and if she got called out for it - blame dispatch. Their calls are all recorded so she would have proof.
Now, to top things off, she was stuck here alone while every first responder except her, a fat fireman, and two volunteer fire trainees were over at a last minute awards celebration put on by the Benchman Corporation. Free steak dinner, free drinks, and cash door prizes, and she was stuck here holding down the fort. Cjersti was not sure whether she was selected to remain behind because she was the youngest officer on the force, because she was the first woman patrol officer, or because she was the first Black police officer on the force. Probably all three.
Cjersti was trying to decide whether to drive around aimlessly or find a quiet corner to park and play Panda Pop on her phone, when the radio squawked.
“Base 14 to 231: Multiple shootings reported at 3245 Riverfront Road, armed and dangerous subjects at large, whereabouts unknown. Suspects driving a grey Cadillac ATS license number ARD 439. No backup is available, both bridges are down. A sheriff boat is on its way eta 22 minutes.”
Cjersti stared at the radio. Someone was playing a joke. They must have conspired with dispatch to set her up before they all left her here. They were constantly harassing her with what they considered jokes or pranks. Like this, they were not very funny. Rolling her eyes she picked up the microphone, she was not going to fall for this one. “Come again Base 14?”
“Terrence Hilderman!, someone shot Terrence and some kid who is at his house. We got like six calls from the house. Both of them are hurt pretty bad. They are afraid the suspects will come back. Get over there now Cjersti and your military training better be good.”
Could this be real? Probably a hoax. Oh well, it was something to do. At least she could use the siren and drive fast. That would be fun and if she got called out for it - blame dispatch. Their calls are all recorded so she would have proof.