Looking Under Indigo Skies

I’ve gotten so used to cold-heartedness and lack of empathy
That the warmth of the kindness you’ve shown me
Has completely overloaded my senses.

The contrast between you two is monumental
You’re galaxies apart
You’ve helped me see his psychopathic tendencies
And realize this isn’t what I want
Only after meeting you do I see that plain as day

You don’t deserve what I’m doing to you
I know you are aware and the choice was yours to make
But this MISTAKE that you have chosen
It takes two to play this game
And I always succumb to my emotions

I appreciate your presence
I’m comforted by your touch, your scent

So we sit there in my car listening to me drone on and on
At my pathetic attempt to decipher the static in my head,
Convert these thoughts into words
My feelings are so intense they’re tangible
Can you see my sorrow? My heart physically hurts

A chemical reaction occurs in me when you’re around
That’s causes my barricade to come crashing down

And before I could understand what was happening
I was completely exposed
Got that deer in the headlights kind of feeling
My heart’s so filled with emotions it’s become heavy to hold

This banging in my chest has me out of breath
My mind is screaming for me to stop and I know I should listen. Fuck!!!
Still my body yearns for the comfort of your touch

Because I’m weak I surrender to the temptation
In moments like these I close my eyes and pretend
I like the way the idea of you and me
Makes everything seem okay and calms the storm inside my head

So when you hear me say stop
Please know it’s not directed at you.
It’s my mind taking over for that brief moment
Dragging me back to reality
Forcing me to hear what I don't want spoken

They say longing is the joy of being sad,
It sucks wanting something you know you’ll never have