You Haunt Me

John awoke with a start, sitting up abruptly. The dream felt so real, he was almost half expecting to reach out and feel her beside him. This was not the case, however, as reality set in and he realized he was just on the couch.

Alone.

He rubbed his face, hating himself for still holding onto false hopes. He'd stayed out of their bedroom now for the last couple weeks, and the thought of going into it alone was nauseating. Everything was just setting in even more now; he'd gone long periods of time without seeing her, but this was just different. It wasn't like he was just on tour, or she had gone out of town for a bit. She was just...

Gone.

He stood up, grabbing his phone off the coffee table so he could read the time: just after nine. Rubbing his eyes, he was about to set his phone down when he took notice of the date: August the 25th. The days had all begun to blur together that he hadn't even noticed that day had already arrived.

That explains all of the text messages and missed calls.

He decided to ignore them for the time being, heading to the kitchen to brew some coffee. Once he put the pot on, he made his way into the bathroom, taking note of his reflection in the mirror. The lack of sleep over the course of the last while was beginning to take its toll: the bags under his eyes were more like black holes, and his hair was disheveled to the point where it was almost disastrous. He hadn't shaved in weeks, and he almost smiled when he remembered how she felt when he did that:

"What is this?" she asked him when he had gotten home from tour.

"What is what?" he questioned, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her forehead.

"Ew," she giggled, rubbing his face. "This. Facial hair is not a good look for you."

He chuckled, moving to kiss her lips. "I'll shave, I promise."

She pushed him away. "After you shave, then you can kiss me, Mr. Scruffy."

He sighed as he picked up his razor, deciding he would shave. Maybe she'll appreciate it, wherever she is, he thought bitterly as he splashed water on his face, cleaning off the remnants of the shaving cream.
Once he exited the bathroom, he went into the kitchen, pouring himself a cup of coffee before sitting on one of the island stools. He pressed the home button on his phone that he had set there before making the coffee, staring at the messages on his screen. They all blurred together as he thought about the dream he had.

She was there, in a summer dress, bare feet in front of him. He reached out to her, she was smiling and she wasn’t-

His phone buzzing on the table pulled him from his thoughts as he gazed down at the screen once again at the new message:

It's Harmony's birthday today. Don't be a fucking asshole and miss it. Please.

Exhaling audibly, he picked the phone up, sliding his finger to unlock it. He knew it was her birthday, but he just really didn't have the guts to attend. His fingers hovered over the keypad as he thought of what to respond. Finally, after a few minutes, he typed something out and hit send before he could change his mind:

I'll be there.