Status: in progress/frequent updates
You Haunt Me
xv. June 19th, 2013
“Are you sure you’re alright?” John asked her.
Inhaling deeply, she nodded. “I’m fine.”
“I can come with you-“
“I’ll be fine,” she repeated herself. “I’ve given myself a few days, and I really just… I want her to be the first person to know.”
“Okay. I get that.”
“You think I’m crazy, don’t you?”
“Of course not, Rae. I’d do the same.”
She sighed. “I feel a little crazy.”
“Don’t,” he responded. “I’ll be right here if you need me.”
Nodding, she reached her shaky hand out to the car door, opening it. Stepping out, it felt like the air became harder to breathe as soon as she closed the door. She wanted to tell John to come, but she knew this was something she needed to do for herself.
Walking down the path, she made her way by memory. Although it had been at least a couple years since she’d been there, she knew how to get there. Once she finally reached it, she sat down, running her fingers across the letters of the gravestone.
“Hey, mom,” she spoke, her voice cracking. “I know it’s been awhile, but I just wanted to tell you I’m doing really, really well.”
She paused for a moment, looking up to try and stop the tears that were beginning to prick at her eyes. “Remember John, the boy you always told me I should date? Well, we’re together now. We just got engaged a couple days ago,” she spun the ring around on her finger, her heart feeling like it was going to beat out of her chest.
She could almost hear her mother now, saying I knew it. She closed her eyes, the warm breeze flowing around her. Although it was overcast, it was still hot. Typical Arizona.
“I just… I wanted you to be the first to know, mom,” she could feel her chest heaving now, the tears flowing freely down her cheeks. “I love and miss you so much, and I wish you were here. I know how much you loved John. I just hope you’re happy for me.”
Leaning over, she kissed the gravestone, laying the flowers on top of it as she stood up.
The sun broke through the clouds briefly, and she could almost feel her mother’s arms around her. It was almost as if it were a sign and she was there with Rae.
Turning, she walked back toward John’s truck. This time, it was like the ground completely crumbled beneath her feet. She collapsed, and John was there to catch her.
“Hey,” he rubbed her back. “It’s gonna be alright.”
“Does this ever… does this ever get easier?” she stammered, trying her best to speak. “It’s been over six years now, and I still can’t breathe.”
Shaking his head, he didn’t have an answer.
But maybe someday, he hoped, he would.
Inhaling deeply, she nodded. “I’m fine.”
“I can come with you-“
“I’ll be fine,” she repeated herself. “I’ve given myself a few days, and I really just… I want her to be the first person to know.”
“Okay. I get that.”
“You think I’m crazy, don’t you?”
“Of course not, Rae. I’d do the same.”
She sighed. “I feel a little crazy.”
“Don’t,” he responded. “I’ll be right here if you need me.”
Nodding, she reached her shaky hand out to the car door, opening it. Stepping out, it felt like the air became harder to breathe as soon as she closed the door. She wanted to tell John to come, but she knew this was something she needed to do for herself.
Walking down the path, she made her way by memory. Although it had been at least a couple years since she’d been there, she knew how to get there. Once she finally reached it, she sat down, running her fingers across the letters of the gravestone.
“Hey, mom,” she spoke, her voice cracking. “I know it’s been awhile, but I just wanted to tell you I’m doing really, really well.”
She paused for a moment, looking up to try and stop the tears that were beginning to prick at her eyes. “Remember John, the boy you always told me I should date? Well, we’re together now. We just got engaged a couple days ago,” she spun the ring around on her finger, her heart feeling like it was going to beat out of her chest.
She could almost hear her mother now, saying I knew it. She closed her eyes, the warm breeze flowing around her. Although it was overcast, it was still hot. Typical Arizona.
“I just… I wanted you to be the first to know, mom,” she could feel her chest heaving now, the tears flowing freely down her cheeks. “I love and miss you so much, and I wish you were here. I know how much you loved John. I just hope you’re happy for me.”
Leaning over, she kissed the gravestone, laying the flowers on top of it as she stood up.
The sun broke through the clouds briefly, and she could almost feel her mother’s arms around her. It was almost as if it were a sign and she was there with Rae.
Turning, she walked back toward John’s truck. This time, it was like the ground completely crumbled beneath her feet. She collapsed, and John was there to catch her.
“Hey,” he rubbed her back. “It’s gonna be alright.”
“Does this ever… does this ever get easier?” she stammered, trying her best to speak. “It’s been over six years now, and I still can’t breathe.”
Shaking his head, he didn’t have an answer.
But maybe someday, he hoped, he would.