The Resistance

Chapter Seven: We Are At An Impasse

Rey closed her eyes, a smile playing on her lips as she placed her palms down on the damp rock of the cave. “It’s as if I can feel every heartbeat of every critter. I can feels the leaves growing. I can feel the small ripples of water on every patch of swampy water.” Everything was in such vivid detail around her.

“I feel it too” Ren mumbled, his mind distracted as he snapped a small branch in half and tossed it into the small fire. As soon as the two had crash landed Rey had been overwhelmed by the force emanating from the planet. But with no way of escaping, all Ren could focus on was trying to find a way off of the forsaken swamp planet and returning to the First Order to take his rightful place.

He looked at Rey, the small flames dancing in twisting silhouettes on her face as she sat in meditation. Many things had been left unspoken, such as who was to join whom. Like how long it would take for the incompatibility of their situation to tear apart the uneasy peace and respite they had created in the confines of the escape pod, holding each other, exploring eachother, making love as the stars passed by.

Something had broken within him. Some defence he had built up. He’d never been touched, comforted, held in such a way his entire life. It was a sensation wholly new to him, and it confused him and frustrated him.

“I feel the confusion and frustration surrounding you in an aura of orange, dancing around the edges of your being like the flames. It’s been there ever since we landed.” Rey shifted closer so she was sitting next to him, legs crossed, her bandaged arms resting against his.

“Yes and I feel yours. The purest green, bright and brilliant enough to match any greenery on this damned planet. It is happiness and wonderment. It’s usually there, but now it’s dazzling.” He turned his face away from the flames and looked at her, smiling, a sensation new to him.

She reached out slowly, taking his hand. He involuntarily flinched, before letting her take it and holding it between both of hers. “This is new to you isn’t it? Intimacy and love.” She stroked the back of his hands, a hint of a blush spreading out across her small rounded cheeks.

“And isn’t it new to you too?” His face turned back to the flames, tossing in a twig with his free hand.

“It is. But, it feels natural. It feels right. I don’t think it feels the same for you.” She brought his hand to her lips.

“The unfortunate circumstances of my bloodline can be thanked for that.” He grumbled, but closed his eyes with calm at the sensation of her soft lips against his skin.

“But, but you had a mother, a father, a master that loved you.” Rey turned his hand, holding his palm to her cheek.

The fire snapped and crackled in front of them, filling the sheavy silence that followed.

Slowly Ren retracted his hand. “I do not wish to have this conversation now.” His teeth were clenched as he tried to control his temper. He hastily stroked her hair, trying to give the illusion of calm. “I am going to see if I can find anything to help us.” He stalked.

They’d made shelter in a small cave, the least damp place they could find. All around was marshy swampland. The sky was completely blocked out by thick foliage. Moss hung from tree branches and the faint call of birds nesting in the high treetops could be heard. Between patches of swamp were small walkways of stone. Ren could feel the place had been inhabited, at some point at least, and he went in search of something, anything to help them, and distract himself from Rey’s words.

He jumped from one stone to the other, angrily slashing the foliage around him with his lightsaber, bits of twigs, leaves, and moss rained down around.

Back at the cave Rey winced. Given her connection with the planet, each sliced piece of greenery felt like a slap in the face.

He’d wandered out quite far from the cave leaving a trail of tattered foulage in his wake. It felt like walking in circles, everything looked the same.

Suddenly a twig snapped behind him. His head turned instantly in the direction but he saw nothing.

The rustle of leaves.

Again nothing.

He could feel a presence, a presence half there, but he couldn’t see it, whatever it was. “Show yourself!” He yelled, turning and turning in place but seeing no one.

The rustling of branches suddenly revealed a familiar, semi-opaque figure, surrounded by a green glow.

“You.” He stood shocked. Without making the decision to, he lept up, bringing his lightsaber down onto the figure of Luke Skywalker.

The image blurred like a splash disturbing the mirrored image of a moon on water, but returned.

“Relax kid” Luke smirked, taking a seat on a fallen log. He was dressed as Ren had last seen him, dark robes of interlocking fabric, every bit the Jedi master he was.

“What are you doing here” He growled. He knew it was no use fighting the man, but he despised him. The master that feared him. The master that gave up on him. The master that betrayed him. He’d felt his death the moment the figure had disappeared on Crait, but knew it wasn’t fully his own doing.

“I told you I’d be seeing you, did I not.” Luke laughed, smoothing out his robes.

Ren roared and slashed at the transparent figure until he’d exhausted himself, the sweat pooling on his brow.

“Finished?” Luke said calmly, folding his hands on his lap.

Ren brushed his hair back from his forehead, still panting. He flicked off his lightsaber. “Yes.” He’d had an overpowering desire to find then destroy his old master, it felt strange seeing him now, in such a way, and speaking to him with calm.

Luke beamed, “Fantastic. How are you? How is Rey?”

“Cut the crap old man. What do you want.” Ren took a seat opposite Luke on a large moss covered boulder.

Luke’s face grew serious. He hunched forward looking in to Rens eyes “She is going to die kid. There is nothing you can do to stop that.”

Ren stood to his feet in a burst of anger. “You don’t know that!,” he spat. He wanted to tear him apart. He wanted to tear the whole damn swamp apart. The whole galaxy apart. Anything, anything to save her. His only plan now rested on her love for him, clinging at what little hope his mangled mind could muster, he hoped that her feelings could, would, be enough to tear her away from the light.

Luke’s eyes grew sad. “You were right kid. She is the chosen one. But her prophecy is not to hold your hand and go tralalalala to the dark side alright. If you look inside yourself, you know this to be true. She will bring balance. Exactly how, it is unsure, whether it is to come up against the dark, or diminish it, it is unknown. But it is her Ben.”

Ren turned to look away, unable to hear the words coming from his former master, unable to bear it. His gloved hands clenched at his sides.

Luke continued. “I know you. I know you Ben. Without Snok, the dark side truly means nothing more to you than power. And that is all you ever wanted wasn’t it. But you’re confused kid. Power is not the same as respect. A legacy, a name, pushing you constantly, an absentee father, hey I get it. But ruling the First Order, letting the dark succeed, it isn’t going to fix the mistakes of the past. The past can never die. What you’re doing, what you’ve done, is step into the vicious cycle of our lineage. Anakin skywalker, my father, your grandfather, thought he could save the ones he loved by turning to the dark. He was wrong. He was seduced by power and love. When I was training Rey, I could feel it, your connection to her. It empowered her. You gave her that kid. You gave her that trust in herself, in her abilities. You gave, but don’t take away now. Try as you might Ben, she must die.”

Ren turned his back to Luke, shaking his head, unable and unwilling to process what he was hearing. He couldn’t meet the imploring eyes of his former master. His hands wound into his hair and he gripped at it with frustration. “No” He whispered at first, his vision becoming blurry from the tears that threatened to escape. He pulled at his hair, feeling the truth in the words his master spoke, but fighting against them “NO” He yelled, pulling out his lightsaber and slashing at the nearest tree, again and again.

The tears spilled over as his lightsaber kept making contact with the tree, slicing deep marks into the trunk.

“Ben..”

He stopped instantly, hearing her voice behind him. Bits of bark rained down on him. He turned his head, but Luke was gone. A concerned Rey taking his place. Her eyes looked on at the scene with worry.

He felt frozen, turning back and staring at the half destroyed tree in front of him, chest rising and falling as he tried to regain his emotions.

A soft hand slipped into his, gently pulling the lightsaber free and disarming it. She dropped it to the ground and stood in front of him, blocking the view of the damaged tree as best she could with her small frame. She brought her hand up to his cheek, and he closed his eyes, savoring the comforting sensation.

“Ben, what on earth are you doing.” Rey said softly.

He pulled her into his arms, resting his cheek on the soft tresses of her loose hair. She held him back, feeling the turmoil within him from the proximity of their touch. She was afraid. She could feel the potential destruction emanating from his body, his mind. The potential for chaos and death that the man, holding her softly, had.

She loved him. She’d finally admitted it to herself and to him. She had known his feelings long ago, and so had he, but it was her who had fought against them. Embracing him the way she had in the escape pod, feeling a closeness she never had before as their bodies intertwined, it had felt right, it had made her whole. But since landing, she couldn’t help but feel immense guilt and confusion. She felt like she had betrayed the Resistance in some way. But she still hoped. She still hoped to turn him to the light, that it would be her love that could sway him. She couldn’t let the worried words boiling within her to be left unsaid any longer.

She peaked up at him. “You love me?” She whispered against his chest.

He stared off at the marsh fog closing in around them, the trees turning into silhouettes. “More than you know.” The words caught in his throat. He wiped violently at his eyes, detesting the pitifulness of crying.

She pulled away, holding him at arms length, staring up at him until he unwillingly met her eyes. “Then why. Why do I feel you still leaning towards the dark? I thought things would have changed in your mind, but they haven’t. Since we landed here yesterday I can’t help but feel, feel so much more than I did, and I feel scared. Of you.”

He let out a long, deep, heavy sigh. “It is no longer my choice. It is something I must-,” his voiced cracked as emotion gripped him, “I must do.”

Rey shook her head, taking a step back. “Ben no. No you don’t. Everyone has a choice.” Her eyes began to well with tears, “Stop that! I can feel you shutting down on me!” She was right. Without any way to truly tell her that his decision to join the dark rested on her life, he found her pleas futile, and began closing her off. Closing himself off emotionally, mentally. The mental barriers he’d first put up to keep her out were built back up. She began beating on his chest with frustration. “Don’t you dare push me away like you have everyone else.”

He stepped away from her. “Trust me, I’m not trying to. There are things I know… I can’t- I love you but my path will always be in darkness.” He began pacing with frustration. “Why? Why is it that I have to compromise?”

“Because it’s the right thing to do Ben! It isn’t about choosing what I want, it’s about turning your back on the poison that’s infected your mind. It’s about freeing hundreds of planets from enslavement, from dictatorship, and restoring democracy and freedom to the galaxy. It’s about trying to end this war.” The tears silently trickled from her angered eyes. “Don’t you think it’s wrong? What the First Order has done. All the death and dying and pain, don’t you want it to stop!”

He stalked up to her, arms shaking at his sides, and brought his faces inches from hers. “You said it yourself. I am a monster. There is no changing that. I am what you have, I am all you have.” He forcefully brought his lips to hers. He was fighting it. He was fighting, the truth in her words and the truth in Lukes.

She pull away, untangling herself forcefully from his lips, his arms, and turned to leave.

“Stop.” He called, unable to even bear to see her walk away from him in anger.

“Ben I don’t think you can have it both ways.” Rey shut her eyes, tears spilling out past her closed lids. “I don’t think either of us can. We are at an impasse. If what you’re telling me is true, that you could never be turned, I don’t see any way we can have each other and both stand by who we are, or who we think we are…”

His brows furrowed “You hate something you do not understand. You can’t fathom what the dark can do. If together we harness its power as it was truly meant to be, then we can restore order. It doesn’t have to be tyranny.” He grabbed Rey by the arm, imploring her to see his reasoning. Rey shook her head. “You will turn.” He growled, fingers pressing harder into the bandages on her arm.

Rey pulled away from him forcefully and walked off. Ren threw his arm out, to stop her with the force, but she was quicker. She threw him back without even turning or missing a step. As he fell back against the damp soil of the swamp floor, he watched as she disappeared into the mist.

***

She’d lost track of how long she’d been wondering around the swamp in anger, feet now soaked from many mistaken steps into pools of water.

She’d calmed down as soon as she’d walked away from him, the trees, the leaves, the creatures around her had calmed her, turning her frustration and pain into calm contemplation as she walked on without direction.

“I can do it. I can.” She whispered to herself.

Abruptly her foot caught on the root of a tree and she went flying forward, catching herself with the force inches from the stagnant water she was about to fall into. Still hovering above the water she looked up to see a small island surrounded by marshy water heavy with fog. On the island lay a small run down hut. Rey sent herself flying back, upright. Carefully stepping over the root she hopped across the mote of water and went in for a closer look at the little dwelling.

The home sat half covered beneath the roots of a large tree that tangled itself around the round hut. There was no mistaking it for what it was, what with its small door and chimney, little windows too.

Rey bent down to peer through one of the windows, when suddenly a jolt of electricity ran through her body and she fell limp and unconscious to the ground. She’d been hit by a stunner.

***

She couldn’t feel her body, or open her eyelids yet, but slowly the fuzzy noise filtering into her ears became clearer.

“Do you think she’ll be alright? I mean, guys I don’t think this was a good idea. Look at her, she is out cold”

“Hey look Finn, she’ll be fine. We had to stun her, she’s clearly been brainwashed by that angry man child.”

The cry of a Wookie rang out in agreement.