Fight or Flight

That was three weeks ago. If I didn’t see Justin twice a week in our American literature lecture; I would think that he was just some person I made up. We didn’t talk about my unannounced presence at his underground fight that night. We didn’t talk about anything. I drove myself crazy questioning what exactly went wrong at the diner. We had a good time, or at least I had a good time. Every time that I would even think about approaching him, I wouldn’t. I couldn’t. Something about him was just so intimidating. Maybe it was the fact that he brought down that giant with a mere few bruised knuckles. Maybe it was the fact that he had fun doing it.

‘Earth to Liv,’ My roommate Zoey snaps her manicured finger in my face, ‘Where’d you go? You’re supposed to be quizzing me for this physics exam.’

‘Sorry,’ I mutter, staring down at the small note cards in my lap, ‘I got a little, distracted.’

‘You’ve been “distracted” a lot lately which isn’t like the Olivia Thompson.’ Zoey eyes me knowingly, ‘what’s his name – or her, I don’t judge.’

‘There’s no name,’ I stifle out a forced laugh while waving around the note cards, ‘back to this physics exam.’

‘Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say.’

I pick at the skin on my thumb while reading off another question. Once I was finished prepping Zoey for her physics exam; we decide to go get dinner from the Panda Express in Robertson Hall next door. I rock back and forth on the heel of my Vans while staring at the expansive menu in front of me. My phone lets out a loud chime in my bag while Zoey and I walk back to our dorm. ‘I’ll be right in. Don’t eat my cookie.’ I murmur, digging down into my bag to silence my phone. ‘Hey, dad.’ I plaster a smile on my face even though he couldn’t see it. Every Tuesday and Thursday, he made sure to call. He’s never missed a phone call.

‘Hi princess,’ My dad muses into the line, ‘what are you up to?’

‘Just left the library,’ I lie, shifting over uncomfortably. If I said any place other than the library, he would give me a solid ten-minute speech about doing assignments when they’re assigned to you. ‘About to get dinner with Zoey.’

‘That’s my girl. My future district attorney.’ And there it is.

‘Uh huh.’ I pinch the bridge of my nose, holding back a sigh. I talked to my dad twice a week and I heard the future district attorney tag line twice a week. I’ve heard it for so long that I’ve started to think my nickname was future district attorney. My dad worked his way up from a law clerk to one of California’s superior court judges. He took pride in the number of hours and hard work went into being who he is today. ‘Dad, Zoey’s waiting for me so I’ll just talk to you later. Tell mom I say hi.’

‘Alright, alright. I’ll talk to you soon. We love you.’

‘I love you guys, bye.’ I purse my lips while pressing the red button on my phone repeatedly. Zoey and I spent our night catching up on the latest episodes of This Is Us. After a full two hours of sobbing into crumbled tissues, I take a hot shower before collapsing into bed.

The next morning, I take a little extra time for my hair and makeup since it was literature day. I got to see him today. I tried to justify my missing him; especially since I saw him less than forty-eight hours ago. Somehow, I did. I take my place in my usual seat and eye the clock while waiting for his arrival. When he walks into the room, it felt like one of those cheesy slo-mo scenes in those equally cheesy movies. Everything around him just stopped.

‘Morning, Olivia.’ Justin murmurs, the corner of his mouth twitching slightly.

‘Good morning.’ I chime in return, pretending to be interested in the blank piece of paper in front of me.

‘How’s it going?’

‘It’s going.’ I shrug, avoiding eye contact. Justin had these deep brown eyes. They weren’t too dark and they weren’t too light. I could physically feel my legs turn into Jell-O when he made eye contact. ‘You?’ God, why was I so boring?

‘If you don’t have plans tomorrow night, I think you should stop by again.’ I refrain from shooting my head up to see if he was serious. ‘If you want.’

‘We’ll see.’

‘We’ll see.’ Justin repeats with a short laugh before turning in his seat just as Dr. Rosen walks into the room.

I take a couple hours after literature to get all of my assignments done so I could go out without worrying about a stack of papers on my desk. Zoey drops her bag on the floor with a groan while flopping down onto her bed. ‘What the hell happened in here?’ She speaks dramatically with wide eyes. ‘Your closet’s a mess.’

‘I can’t find anything to wear.’ I furrow my eyebrows at all of the clothes on my floor. ‘I need help.’

‘So there is a name?’ Zoey smirks while sitting down on the floor beside me, pulling one of my shirts into her hands.

‘Something like that.’