Now That She Is Gone

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My eyes slowly fluttered open and I stretched out over to the left side of the bed. I was reaching over for her, but I was reminded that she was gone with the cold emptiness of her spot. I laid there for a minute and with a heavy feeling in my heart I got up.

The air smelled stale as I made my way to the kitchen, the usual morning aroma of brewing coffee and cooking breakfast absent from my day... I took all those small things for granted. Sitting down at the small wooden table, I watched as the sun began to rise and spill its light over the table top.

Tears filled my eyes as I thought about everything we had planned, we were supposed to get married next month and move into our first house... it wasn't supposed to end like this. As tears fell down my cheeks, I looked around the apartment and saw where she would be, and what she would be doing.

If only I truly understood the suffering she was going through. If only I was a better fiance... I could have possibly saved her from herself. My whole world fell apart yesterday morning when I found her body hanging in the living room. It's only been one day, but I feel trapped in the moment that I found her body... I'm all alone and all I want to do is join her.