I Don't Want to Fall in Love... With You

Returning to classes on a Monday, on first period I had to face the music with Mrs Jenkins. She promised a make-up test after school and didn't court me over why I'd done so terribly. That was another thing to like about her; she was a total softie.

I was sitting in Biology, next to Toby Winston, who kept staring at me, when a familiar and pleasuring buzz sounded in my pocket. Stealthily, so the teacher wouldn't see, I glanced over the text.

The belladonna is growing nicely. Want to take a better look this time?

I bit my lip as I answered Elijah. Things between us hadn't escalated any further than a few stolen kisses and sitting down to watch a movie – which, to be honest, was all we did. We barely spoke while it was on, and we didn't invite each other for a cuddle once. I guess it was still too fresh and new.

I mean, I wasn't going to make the first move. He's a grown man, he should do it.

"Did you know that penguins mate for life?"

I shot my head up. Luckily, my hair was in a ponytail, so Toby didn't get a face full of blonde tendrils.

He was scrutinizing me, head to toe, shaking a little in his stool. I knew by now that he only did so when he was a nervous wreck.

Which was often.

"What?" I furrowed my eyebrows, but my eyes cast back to the front, already over his attempt at conversation.

"T-they do. They present their potential p-partner with a pebble and–"

"Yeah, everybody knows this, but why are you telling me?"

Only just glimpsing at him, it was enough to catch on to his reddening cheeks.

"I... was just wondering..."

"I'm sorry, Toby, but if you can't ask, then how am I supposed to know what to say?"

I gave him space, as I faced the front again. Our teacher hadn't noticed our natter, which I was thankful for, since there would be no way I could make room for detention. Instead, the slideshow on amphibians continued.

With the lights diluted, I could look back and study the figure of Ryan at the opposite end of the class. He had his head down, creating a doodle of some kind on his binder.

As if he could sense me, his head popped up and we locked gazes for a second before I turned back.

Damn it, I couldn't give the impression I was into him, when I really, really wasn't.

"Anya?"

I'd almost forgotten about the poor soul seated beside me. Toby had been my lab partner for almost two years, and while he made himself a worthy comrade, I found that I was constantly neglecting his existence.

"Do you want to hang out?" He said all in one go I was convinced he didn't breathe.

My eyebrows piqued up of their own accord, although I knew this was coming. Someday. I just hadn't expected it to be now.

"Um, like how?"

"A movie? I-I-I could pay us in."

Bless his heart, he really was trying. Overall, Toby was a nice guy; the kind that would probably turn out to be a great husband one day. He was compassionate, smart and one-hundred per cent available. Plus, he wasn't anyone's dad.

But... I wasn't attracted to Toby. Or Ryan. They could pine after me all they wanted but truth of the matter was... I only wanted Elijah.

I gave Toby's elbow a reassuring squeeze.

"I'll go with you," Just as he was about to break into a grin, I had to burst that bubble of his. "But as friends. I'm not looking to date anyone, do you understand?"

At first, he looked crestfallen, as if I'd taken away his favourite toy. Then, as the lesson got closer to ending, his expression brightened. I take it he took comfort in knowing we were friends, since it was better than being nothing at all.

When the lunch bell sounded, everybody evacuated as if the floor was lava, even my lecturer. I was still packing my things up when another vibration came from inside my jean pocket.

I expected it to be Emily, detailing to me what she had traded Marcie Cartel for food.

But it was another text from Elijah. I couldn't prevent the soft giggle that escaped past my lips as I read over it, twice.

Staff meeting is dire. Come save me with KFC? Could go for some junk food now (don't tell Emily!)