I Still Love You

~~2 Years Later~~

“Lane is free tomorrow around 3, is that okay or would you like to see her at a later time? The latest she can do is 7 then she’s off for the rest of the week.” I waited for a response. “Yeah, 6 will be fine. Okay, see you tomorrow.”

I wrote down another appointment. It was good to be working again after a 2-month break. I needed something to distract me and keep me busy, the whole staying at home was really starting to get to me. During my 2 month absence, the receptionist sure did a hell of a job messing up. My desk was currently a mess and there was a bunch of loose paper everywhere. I spent most of my morning cleaning most of the mess and my coworker Casey was helping me get everything in order.

“I’m so glad your back. The old receptionist was not a people person. I was kind of scared to get to know her so I only talked to her about work-related stuff. Plus now we can have a little entertainment finally.” Casey said.

“Feels good to be back. So I heard about them letting go of Charity because she was talking about her clients with people?”

Casey shook her head and continued telling me about all the drama that had happened here while I was gone. I sure was happy that I didn’t come back earlier because a lot happened while I was gone. The desk was finally clean but there was still so much I needed to do. Besides my desk being messy there was a lot of stuff I needed to organize.

The office wasn’t that busy today and only a handful of people came in to book appointments. Before lunch was about to start I finally finished cleaning my desk. Casey and Brad invited me to go out and have lunch with them. They were going to this new place that just opened up. Brad was there before and he said that the food was amazing. We all piled into Casey’s SUV.

“So have you met anybody interesting?” Brad asked.

“I’ve been talking to this one guy. He seems like someone I can vibe with. We’re supposed to be going out tomorrow night. Nothing to wicked, just dinner and a movie. I’m kind of scared though. I haven’t been with anyone since I broke it off with Zack. I don’t know, we’ll see how things go.” I replied.

It was true after Zack and I broke up, dating was totally off the radar. I was too scared to get hurt again so I did what I thought was best for me and packed my shit up and left. I probably went a little too far by deciding to move out of California all the way over to Dallas, Texas. I just decided to totally block out what had happened but there were a few times that I would catch myself thinking about him from time to time.

Casey parked the vehicle closest to the front doors and we all got out and walked into the restaurant. The host welcomed us and brought us to a table in the back. This place was actually pretty cool. There was a place to play pool, a bar, and the place gave off this hipster vibe. I could tell that the 3 of us would be coming to this place because it totally suited Brad.
“Hi, my name is Alex and I’ll be your server. What drinks can I start you guys off with?”

“I’ll have an iced tea,” I replied. Brad and Casey both ordered a root beer and the waiter walked away. “So I was thinking that maybe we could come back here later and have a few? Nothing too crazy. I just need to have a little time to myself for at least an hour or 2. Michelle finally agreed to watch her sister. Please say you guys will come.”

Brad and I both nodded our heads. Casey has 2 kids and she didn’t get to go out that much because she was so dedicated to her kids and work. That’s how it’s always been with her. I hoped that when I had kids that I would be like her. I admired her a lot since her kids’ dad chose not to be in the picture anymore.

Our waiter Alex came back with the drinks and took our orders. I just ordered a chicken Caesar salad because I wasn’t that hungry, Brad got some kind of chicken special, and Casey ordered a mushroom soup. Since no one was talking I took out my phone and began going through my newsfeed. Manny’s head popped up in the messenger app. Manny and I didn’t see each other much after I moved but we still did keep in contact with each other almost every day. I hadn't seen him for almost a year and we were planning on coming out to Dallas but that wasn’t until a couple months. I couldn't wait because there was so much that we needed to catch up on.

“So Rilee, tell me about this little date of yours. You haven’t even told us his name yet. Spill the details.” Brad said.

“I don’t want to say who but maybe if things go well I’ll introduce you guys. If he ends up screwing me over then nobody will know because I don’t talk about it much. I’m hoping things go well. It’d be nice to have that someone be there for you, you know what I mean?”

Casey nodded her head. Alex came back with our food. The salad that I ordered was a lot bigger than I thought it was going to be. There was no way I was going to finish it by the time we left. Casey’s food, on the other hand, looked like it wouldn't even fill her up, she looked up at us with a disappointed look.

“Ri, be a doll and share some of your salad. Looks like your salad can feed a whole family.” She laughed. I spilled some of my salad onto the plate that that soup bowl was on. At least I didn’t have to worry about wasting anything now.

~~

Brad used his key card to unlock the office doors. We were the first ones back despite being 10 minutes late. I walked into the lounge and put my leftover salad in there. Our boss Randy wasn’t back either which was a relief because he was kind of a hard ass and he would have gotten mad because we were late. That happened a couple of time in the past.

The phone rang and I answered it. “Good afternoon, Esoteric. How may I help you?”

“Uh yeah, I’d like to make an appointment with Ryan? Is he free anytime soon?”

I looked at the computer and scrolled through all the tattoo artist and Ryan was all booked up. I’d been working with this parlor for almost a year now. 

“He’s actually all booked until Tuesday then he’s off on holidays for the rest of the month. Casey is actually the only one that will be available. Would you like me to book with her?” I asked. The guy on the other end of the line agreed so I wrote down the time he was supposed to come in.

The rest of the day was pretty boring. Not much people came into the building and when they did they usually got us mixed up with the building next door. That happened a lot because of the way the signs were displayed. It wasn’t my shop so I usually didn’t say anything but when I did bring it up to Randy you could tell he didn’t like it I just stopped asking about it.

After work was over, all I did was go home and freshen up. Being at home has been so depressing lately that I decided to head to the place we went to this afternoon and wait for Casey and Brad. They probably wouldn't show up for another hour and I didn’t mind waiting. I liked this place. I had already gotten us a table that was just by the bar and right next to one of the pool tables.

20 minutes had passed and I was already on my third beer. I wasn’t much of a drinker so I was already feeling a tiny buzz, plus they were draft beers. I had just finished a game of pool with this girl that I had just met, of course, I lost. Pool was something I really enjoyed but I wasn’t that good at it.

“Rilee? Rilee Neil?”

I looked up and there were 2 guys standing on the other side of the pool table who I instantly recognized, Matt and Brian. I put the cue stick down and ran over to them, hugging the both of them.

“It’s so nice to see you guys. How have you guys been doing?” I asked. We all sat down at the table and began talking.

“I’ve been doing pretty good. You know, writing music, touring, what more could I ask for?” Matt smiled.

“Oh yeah, I’ve been doing great. You sure look different. Your hair is a lot shorter and you’re a blond now? I dig it. So tell us about you. How have you been since you pretty much ghosted us?” Brian said.

“About that, I am really sorry that I did that to you guys. You guys didn’t deserve it but I’ve been good. I finally moved into the apartment that I’ve been eyeing for months now. I started working back at this tattoo shop called Esoteric. It pays the bills. What are you guys doing in Dallas anyway?”

“We’re actually playing a show here tonight. Then it’s off again in the morning.”

Off in the distance, I could see Brad and Casey so I waved them over. Brian turned to see who I was waving at. He and Matt got up from the table. 

“You guys can stay if you want. There’s always room for more.” I said but Matt declined. “Sorry we can’t, we’re kind of busy right now anyway. Soundcheck. Well, maybe we’ll see you around sometime? See ya Rilee. It was nice to see you again.”

“Yeah, it was really nice seeing you. Listen, I know you probably don’t even want to think about this but I think it would be good to give Zack a call. I think it would be good for him. Here’s his number if you decide to. Check you later.” Brian followed Matt out of the place.

“Holy shit you guys still keep in touch?” Brad asked but I nodded my head. “I haven’t seen them in forever. I guess they’re playing here tonight. Well not that we’re all here, why don’t we play some pool. I’ll go get us some drinks. You guys can go first.” They agreed and I headed towards the bar.

I looked down at the paper that Brian left for me. What was he talking about when he said it would be good for Zacky to hear from me? Was he going through some kind of crisis or something? Instead of going to the bar I walked over to the bathroom and just decided to call. After a couple of rings, someone finally answered.

“H-Hello?” They asked, slurring their words.

“Is this Zack?”

“Yeah, who’s this?”

“It’s Rilee.”

“How the fuck did you get my number? It’s all your fault why my life is a fucking mess. Fuck you and don't ever call me again.”

The line went dead. I was not expecting that at all. I slid my phone into my back pocket and walked back to Brad and Casey, totally forgetting to get our drinks at the bar. Zacky was probably just saying that because I left him after he cheated. Brad noticed that I wasn’t really focused on pool so he asked me what was wrong. I lied and told him it was nothing. We were all here to have fun and I did not want them to feel down.

~~

Casey and Brad stayed at the bar while I decided to head on home since I had to be at work earlier than they did. By now it was almost 9:30 and I was starting to feel drunk. A hangover was something that I was definitely going to have tomorrow but I decided just to go to work anyways. The whole night I was thinking about Zacky. What if his life really was a mess? Or was he saying that just to make me feel guilty about leaving him?

My phone started ringing, I was scared that it might be Zacky, it was Craig. “Hello?”

“Hey Rilee, it’s Craig. I just wanted to talk to you about our date tomorrow. I might not be able to make it because of work. My boss has been on my ass about these papers that I was supposed to hand in by the weekend. I was thinking that since I might not be able to make it maybe you just want to chill out at your place for the rest of the night? Or you can come here, doesn’t really matter to me. There won’t be any funny business, just me and you watching a movie? If it’s alright with you.” Craig said.

“Um yeah if you want. I don’t mind. I was actually just heading back to my place right now. You can meet me there right now if you want.”

Craig happily agreed and hung up the phone. I’ve known Craig for a while now but decided to finally go out with him since he was always bugging me. We both decided to keep it on the down low because of stuff that happened in the past. When I got to my place Craig was sitting on the porch waiting. He smiled and stood up when he saw me walking in his direction.

“I brought over some movies that I thought you might like.” He said. I handed him the key to my place and he unlocked the door and we both walked inside. It totally slipped my mind that my place was kind of messy because I haven’t had time to clean it due to work. “Sorry, this place is such a mess. It’s usually clean and organized. Work.”

“It’s no problem, besides it isn’t even that messy, to begin with.” Craig sat put in a DVD and I went to my room to change into some shorts. When I got back into the living room Dazed & Confused was on one of my favorite movies. “Good choice.”

“I knew you liked this one.” Craig smiled and pulled me closer to him.

This was something that I wasn’t used to anymore. It kind of felt a little weird but I didn’t stop him or move away. The movie hasn’t even been on for 10 minutes and my eyes were already starting to get heavy.