For the Cloak
Thirteen - The Truth
Ulfric was patient as he watches me gather my composure, he seemed to understand that this was not something I can simply blurt out, I must plan my words carefully to really get the whole thing out. I don’t want to speak about what happened to me back in my home world, but I knew that I must. More so now that he’s found a piece of my past that I never wanted to relive, and he’s seen the anxiety that it causes to overwhelm me. If he was to truly love me, he needed to know all of me, I look up at him as I prepare to speak, “I’m sorry, you should never have to see me as weak as you did. I wish you hadn’t looked through my belongings, but I’ve been trying to find a way to tell you about my past anyways since you asked years ago,” I say as I glance down at my paws.
Ulfric sits beside me and takes my hand, “whatever it is, it won’t change my opinion of you Makoto,” Ulfric said, “you’ve been a loyal fighter and friend since I found you being attacked in the Grey Quarter,” He said as he rubs circles into my paw.
I look down at where he was touching my paw and used his thumb to move my fur back, on my skin were the numerals for the number four thousand and eight. I show this to Ulfric, it would mean nothing in Skyrim, but back home in Elsweyr it meant everything, “back home, I was nothing, I was a pawn that could be tossed around and abused by my family. I learned to fight by protecting myself from my parents, and he eventually grew tired of my resistance and I was sold to a slave caravan,” I say with a pause as I feel Ulfric’s hand tightening around mine, “every slave no matter where we are in the world, are categorized by a number, this number means I am slave number four thousand and eight,” I say as I look at Ulfric.
Ulfric looks me in the eyes, I saw the pain in his eyes as he took in what I said, “is that why you came to Skyrim? To escape being a slave?” He asks.
I shake my head no, “not originally, I was sold to a nobleman, he used me as a punching bag, lover, fighter, whatever he needed me for didn’t matter if he called, I came. I grew of being hurt and being abused so I did the one thing that I knew I could, I did the Black Sacrament. We had a clause in our contract that said if our owners are to die and we can avoid recapture for a whole year then we are free. I waited until the assassin came to me, I offered everything I had, my body, my life, anything if that man died for touching me. Surprisingly, the assassin took pity on me, they said they would help me escape Elsweyr and bring me to Skyrim. I was warned that Khajiit’s are not welcome here but I was not welcomed at home either so what difference did it make to me? I began the preparation while they took out my owner and I was brought here as agreed upon,” I said as I finished telling my past. I left some details out but I’m sure he knew the gist of what I was telling him.
Ulfric looks down the heavy shackles on the floor, “and what of those? They brought you so much pain,” Ulfric asks.
I look away from them, “they were called rape shackles with my owner. If I refused to do something that he wanted then I was shackled to a bed on my hands and knees for him to take as he pleased,” I say shamefully, “when you found me, it was just after a long night of that, and I gave up on life when they were beating me into the stone walls,” I added.
Ulfric pulls me into his chest and held me close to him, “that’s the pain I saw in your eyes when I said what I had said before,” He said softly, “I unknowingly treated you exactly as he had, in your mind I had just been using you for your body,” He said softly as if finally getting it. I nod and bury my face into his chest.
I breathed in his scent, “It wouldn’t have hurt me as it did if I hadn’t been a slave…” I say quietly as he holds onto me tightly. I could feel water droplets hitting my ear and sobs wracking Ulfric’s chest. He was crying, I don’t know out of guilt or pain, but he was crying for me and I didn’t want him to. I didn’t deserve tears from him. I sat up and wiped the tears away before kissing him gently He responds gently as he holds me in his lap.
When I pull away from the kiss I look into his eyes and rub his cheek, “do not cry for this khajiit, he is better now, and he’s been free for years so do not worry for him,” I say as I rub his cheek.
Ulfric sits beside me and takes my hand, “whatever it is, it won’t change my opinion of you Makoto,” Ulfric said, “you’ve been a loyal fighter and friend since I found you being attacked in the Grey Quarter,” He said as he rubs circles into my paw.
I look down at where he was touching my paw and used his thumb to move my fur back, on my skin were the numerals for the number four thousand and eight. I show this to Ulfric, it would mean nothing in Skyrim, but back home in Elsweyr it meant everything, “back home, I was nothing, I was a pawn that could be tossed around and abused by my family. I learned to fight by protecting myself from my parents, and he eventually grew tired of my resistance and I was sold to a slave caravan,” I say with a pause as I feel Ulfric’s hand tightening around mine, “every slave no matter where we are in the world, are categorized by a number, this number means I am slave number four thousand and eight,” I say as I look at Ulfric.
Ulfric looks me in the eyes, I saw the pain in his eyes as he took in what I said, “is that why you came to Skyrim? To escape being a slave?” He asks.
I shake my head no, “not originally, I was sold to a nobleman, he used me as a punching bag, lover, fighter, whatever he needed me for didn’t matter if he called, I came. I grew of being hurt and being abused so I did the one thing that I knew I could, I did the Black Sacrament. We had a clause in our contract that said if our owners are to die and we can avoid recapture for a whole year then we are free. I waited until the assassin came to me, I offered everything I had, my body, my life, anything if that man died for touching me. Surprisingly, the assassin took pity on me, they said they would help me escape Elsweyr and bring me to Skyrim. I was warned that Khajiit’s are not welcome here but I was not welcomed at home either so what difference did it make to me? I began the preparation while they took out my owner and I was brought here as agreed upon,” I said as I finished telling my past. I left some details out but I’m sure he knew the gist of what I was telling him.
Ulfric looks down the heavy shackles on the floor, “and what of those? They brought you so much pain,” Ulfric asks.
I look away from them, “they were called rape shackles with my owner. If I refused to do something that he wanted then I was shackled to a bed on my hands and knees for him to take as he pleased,” I say shamefully, “when you found me, it was just after a long night of that, and I gave up on life when they were beating me into the stone walls,” I added.
Ulfric pulls me into his chest and held me close to him, “that’s the pain I saw in your eyes when I said what I had said before,” He said softly, “I unknowingly treated you exactly as he had, in your mind I had just been using you for your body,” He said softly as if finally getting it. I nod and bury my face into his chest.
I breathed in his scent, “It wouldn’t have hurt me as it did if I hadn’t been a slave…” I say quietly as he holds onto me tightly. I could feel water droplets hitting my ear and sobs wracking Ulfric’s chest. He was crying, I don’t know out of guilt or pain, but he was crying for me and I didn’t want him to. I didn’t deserve tears from him. I sat up and wiped the tears away before kissing him gently He responds gently as he holds me in his lap.
When I pull away from the kiss I look into his eyes and rub his cheek, “do not cry for this khajiit, he is better now, and he’s been free for years so do not worry for him,” I say as I rub his cheek.