For the Cloak

I stare at the frozen wasteland as we descend the mountain upon which the serpent stone lay opposite. I sigh with disdain as I remember the cold, perilous waters we would be crossing to reach the ice wraith my companion must slay. Kodiak was shivering at my side as we walk to the icy shores. He stares in disbelief at what he must cross. He shakes his head and I can see him contemplating whether or not to turn around in fear of the hypothermia he must endure. I sigh and grab his shoulders as he turns to flee, Kodiak looks at me, pleading that I let him go, but I shake my head no.

I turn to face him as I let go of his arm, “we saved you, remember? You owe it to Ulfric to become a Stormcloak,” I say; a slightly bitter edge to Ulfric’s name.

Kodiak gave a sigh of defeat before nodding, “you are right, I must do this. I have to show Ulfric I am no coward who backs down,” he says with a renewed spirit.

I lead the way into the water, the cold instantly nipping at my tender flesh, and dive deep within the water. I held my breath so I wouldn’t cry out as the cold rushes over me, and swim my way to the island which held his target. I watch as he crawls from the freezing water and joins me at my side, the water having already frozen my fur stiff, I stack sticks in a small pile and focus on the sticks.

“Yol!” I shout using the first word of the Fire Breath dragon shout.

Kodiak looks taken aback by the use of the dragon shout, “you’re Dragonborn?” He asks me with surprise.

I nod quietly, “aye, from what I remember of my past the Greybeards had summoned me at one point but I refused. I’ve been learning shouts on my own, mostly by befriending certain dragons, but I’ve killed a couple here and there,” I say with a casual air.

Kodiak grabs my arm as I tend to the fire, “there were rumors of a dragon attacking Helgen, they say he was looking for the upcoming Dragonborn that was there, was that you?” Kodiak asks.

I shake my head, “no, I’ve been discovered for years now, why do you think Ulfric chose to be with me? You keep someone capable of destroying you close by,” I say as I sat by the fire.

Kodiak plops down next to me and looks at the fire, “how did you and Ulfric become, you know, lovers?” He asks, almost uncomfortable with the thought I was Ulfric’s lover.

I sigh, knowing that this question would come up eventually I don’t hesitate to reply, “I’ve known Ulfric since after the elves freed him. I was in Windhelm, as you can expect the locals didn’t treat me with any sort of respect since I didn’t come from Skyrim as they had, and I was backed into a corner within what is now known as the Grey Quarter, I was terrified, and didn’t know what they wanted from me. I wasn’t aware I was Dragonborn at this time and something inside me just told me to shout, I hadn’t killed any dragons at this time since there weren’t any flying around, but I shouted and threw them all away from me. I think I used the Unrelenting Force shout, Fus Ro Dah, as it is in dragon tongue. Ulfric, who had just gotten home to Windhelm, heard my shout and followed the sound to where he saw me. I was cowering in fear, covered in my own blood, and didn’t know if he was coming to help me or finish me. I thought I was a freak, more so than I already did, and that thought frightened me. Ulfric came to my aid, he treated my wounds and taught me what he knew of the Dragonborn. At first,” I took a break to take a sip of water, “I was only just a stormcloak, but I grew closer to Ulfric the more I proved my loyalty to him. He called me into his bedchambers and surprised me with a kiss, I didn’t respond how you’d think I did, I clawed him across his bare chest. He was the leader. How dare he do this to me? I asked myself before I found him kissing me again, and this time I responded with a kiss of my own. The rest is kind of history,” I say as I tear into a loaf of bread.

Kodiak stares at me in shock as I casually eat my bread, “I’m sorry I brought up those memories but were you treated that badly before?” He asks.

I nod, “if you’re not a Nord then the locals don’t believe you have a place within Skyrim, some don’t even think you should live in Tamriel, although I don’t know where else we would go except to the grave,” I say as I lay back, “you should probably go kill your ice wraith, I’ll be waiting here for your return, please don’t make me have to bail you out,” I say with a sigh.

He nods and stands up nervously, he runs off towards where the wraith was living and I look up to the stars. My goddess Mara, how come you bestow such a curse of love upon me? I never wanted to be in love with men, or a Nord named Ulfric, I wanted to live and prosper in my own way. Why couldn’t you leave me be? I ask as I sit up and shake the snow from my fur. I sigh and look down at my paws, “am I not good enough Ulfric?” I ask myself with tears threatening my eyes. I am a strong Khajiit, Khajiit does not cry and certainly does not give into the desires of the Nords. I scoff as I stand up, I head off away from Kodiak, I threw my shirt into the frozen lake and had hope that he would believe I had committed suicide. I regret not being able to help Kodiak more, but I need to find my own path and forge my own future. I’m sorry Kodiak and Ulfric. This cat is finished with the Stormcloaks. I say as drop my crest into the water before leaving without a trace. Even leaving my belongings behind. It was time to start anew, away from Ulfric, away from the Stormcloaks, and away from Skyrim.