Diary Of Insanity

~♦~ Jennifer’s Point Of View ~♦~

I’d been sitting here for ages. Here, in this empty white room waiting for the door to open with my only company being a silent security guard. I was sitting in a chair in front of a reasonable sized table which had a few more chairs on the other side of it. I’d been told I was going to have visitors and for the most of the morning I’d been sitting, thinking about who it could be.

My first thought was my family but there were three of them and only two seats sat out in front of me so it couldn’t be them. What was weird was that Anne hadn’t tried to stop the visitation, she hadn’t tried at all. I continued to sit in my seat, biting my lip and gripping the edges of my seat so tight that I had cut into both.

This was the way it had been for the past five days, ever since I’d last seen Chloe out in the ‘garden’. I hadn’t seen her since then or my family since before then. They’d forgotten about me, just like Anne said they would.

They were ignoring their mistakes. They were ignoring me. I sighed as I leaned back in my chair, staring at the door, willing it to open. I had been quite moody the past three days or so. Well actually I’d say I was more depressed.

Depressed because I knew what was happening to me and at the same time I knew I could do nothing about it. I had pretty much accepted the fact that I was going to die here and it would be soon.

Five minutes later I was going out of my mind wondering if there was even a visitor expected. I bet it was just Anne playing on my hopes so she could hurt me even more. I thought viciously to myself, which was weird. I hadn’t thought viciously about anything in the past few days. I’d only felt very sad, hurt and, dare I say it, scared.

I was losing hope of the door ever open when suddenly it did. My eyes shot towards the door and in walked not Anne, not Chloe, not even my parents, but my brother. My brother and some girl I’d never seen before.

He slowly walked in with her walking quietly behind him as though she were afraid of me. I wouldn’t blame her. After the last meeting with my family, I was slightly scared of myself. I didn’t know what I was capable of. Matt looked at the security guy who lowered his head and walked out of the room. Leaving us three alone.

“Hey Jenny.” smiled Matt as he led the girl over and sat her down in one of the two seats before seating himself in the one next to her. I nodded my head at him as I put my head down. I know what he was doing here. He was here to tell me they were leaving. “Jen please look at me…” this was the most he’d ever said to me. Which startled me slightly so I did as I was told.

When I did look up at him the air caught in my throat. He looked so hurt so concerned. “Hey..” I smiled softly, as much as I could muster. I was getting weaker both from lack of food and too much medication. It felt as though I should be sleeping now, not talking, not breathing, not living.

“Jen this is my girlfriend Val, Val this is my baby sister, Jen.” he smiled weakly as he noticed how much of my strength had been used just to say that one simple word. Baby Sister. I liked that.

I smiled and nodded to her, not wanting to use up my dwindling energy on small things like introductions. After a few minutes of silence Matt finally spoke up after clearing his throat.

“I spoke to Chloe. She says your not doing too well…” he looked at me sympathetically as his eyes travelled down to were my t-shirt had ridden up, exposing my painfully thin stomach. I bit my lip again.

“I’m coping… just.” I smiled weakly again. “So, when did you and Matt start going out?” I asked Val with the same smile.

“Well to be honest, it just kind of happened really. ” she smiled back at me before glancing up at Matt. I nodded.

“Jen, we’re gonna get you out of here. You don’t need to worry about it anymore.” Matt stated as he reached over one of his hands and took mine in it while his other held onto one of Val’s.

“There’s no point…” I looked down as I felt his hold on my hand tighten reassuringly. When I looked back up both his eyes and Val’s were questioning me. “Matt look at me. I’m really sick, I’m past the point of help.” he shook his head before answering.

“No Jen, listen to me okay. There is no way in hell you are staying here. I don’t care if I have to carry you to get you to come but there is no way in hell your staying here anymore than you have to. As soon as the case is reviewed your gonna move in with me and Val.”

I gave him a quizzical look. Why wasn’t I going to live with mum and dad? I then voiced my thoughts and asked that exact question. I was really confused by it, didn’t they want me?

“Sweetheart your parents want to see you and you’ll be staying there to begin with but we just thought you’d be happier staying with us, you know. That way you wouldn’t really have that many limits since we know your gonna want to party a bit and go wild. Make up for the lost time, you know?” smiled Val.

This girl had a point even if she was only joking about the last part. God knows the last time I’d had a sip of alcohol never mind a bar of chocolate. True, I was heavily depraved by living here in this god forsaken place and I was damn sure going to make up for that when I got out. It was just really difficult to accept the fact that there was a chance I was getting out.

“So… do you know how long it will take?” I asked, hope filling my voice as the largest smile to have ever exist spread across my face even though it was painfully difficult.

“Well, it might take some time but…” Matt was cut off my Anne walking into the room, a deathly stern look on her face.

“Sorry to interrupt. Jennifer, it’s time for your medication.” her voice was monotone. Stripped of all emotions, making it exceptionally difficult to read what she was thinking.

I signed before weakly standing up and walking around the table to where my brother and his girlfriend were. Matt gave me a confused look, I’d ever ben willing to do as she’d said before. I hugged then both then walked slowly over to the door where Anne was.

“Don’t worry. I’ll be out of here before you know it.” I smiled evilly at her.

“We’ll just have to see about that..” she returned the look.