Diary Of Insanity

~♦~ Jennifer’s Point Of View ~♦~

Once again I was sitting in the TV room watching Thirteen with Charlotte and another girl I didn’t really know that well. She didn’t talk to anyone so I wasn’t even sure what her name was, I didn’t know if she was mute or just didn’t like to talk but I knew how much I hated it when people questioned me so I just left her alone and didn’t force her to talk to me.

Back to Thirteen. Here I was sitting in a mental institute watching a DVD about alcohol, drugs, sex, abuse and self harm. All the things which get you locked up in a place like this. What type of idiot would let mental patients watch Thirteen? Oh yeah, the Lakeview kind.

But I shouldn’t really be complaining I love this movie so I’m pretty glad they let us watch it. It was just to the bit where Tracey and Evie were sneaking out of the movies when I heard the familiar voice of Anne calling my name from behind me.

I turned around in my seat to look at her, my eyes questioning her as to why she wanted me. I’d already had my meds so I knew it wasn’t that. What else could there possibly be?

“There are some people here to see you..” I nodded as what she said sunk in slowly I then bounced off of my seat and began skipping my way out of the TV room. I smiled at one of the security guards as I walked down the hallway towards the little white room I’d grown to be very familiar with over the past few weeks.

I opened the door and went and sat in my usual seat, waiting for my visitors to come in, this time there were four seats placed in front of me on the other side of the table. I wondered who might be coming to see me today.

Not five minutes later the door opened again and in walked my mum, dad, brother and his girlfriend. I smiled at them all and got up out of my seat, running over to give each a hug. I gave both my mum and my dad extra long hugs, I hadn’t seen them since the time I lost control of my anger and I still felt really bad about it. I sat back down in my seat smiling at everyone, I didn’t really notice Anne standing at the doorway.

“Jennifer,” I looked up at her and she continued. “make it quick, you only have fifteen minutes.” I nodded my head as she left the room before turning my attention back to mum, dad, Matt and Val.

“So what brings you to the Emerald City today?” I asked with a large smile pretty much plastered to my face. They each gave me confused looks, wondering what was going on with me.

“Emerald City? Jennifer are you okay?” asked my mum as she looked over at my dad who mirrored her worried expression.

“I’m fine mum, just fine. Did you know that Anne is my fairy godmother?” I asked excitedly as my eyes darted from each person to the next. “Can you imagine? A real, live fairy!” I giggled again as I clapped my hands together like a child.

No one answered me so I took this time to survey everyone. My mum was looking down at her hands which were resting on her lap, my dad had his arm around her shoulders, watching her hands as well. Matt was watching me with a look which was somewhere between anger and concern and Val was looking at him, silently willing him to calm down.

“What’s wrong with everyone? Why’s everyone sad?” I asked, the happiness fading from my voice as the smile disappeared from my face. There was something wrong and I wanted to know what it was. Then a thought came to me, what if it was to do with them getting me out of here, what if they couldn’t do it?

“Jenny your acting really different, it’s as though your not yourself.” she took a breath and reached her hand over the table, taking mine. “Are you sure your okay?”

I gave a sigh of relief. “Phew! I thought you were gonna tell me I wasn’t going to come stay with you guys anymore. That would be so bad. God, Charlie would be so upset…” I began talking more to myself than them as I started to wander off the point.

“Jen, we’ve been through this already, as soon as everything is sorted out your coming to stay with us no matter what. Stop worrying yourself.” smiled Val. I decided that I really liked her, she was just a likable person even though I didn’t know her all that well.

“Wait, Who’s Charlie? Asked my dad as he gave me a quizzical look.

“Charlie is my friend. I told her that when you guys get me out I’ll help her get out too so we can go looking for he son Cameron. Her real name’s Charlotte but she says it’s too ladylike but Charlie is quite a ladylike person apart from the fact that she lives in an sanatorium so I don‘t really get it.” I continued to go overboard with the explanation.

I looked at them one person at a time and noticed they all shared the same expression of pure, unadulterated shock. Well I had just said all of that in one breath and my eyes were darting around to look at them near enough at top speed, I probably did look a bit out of it.

“I’m sorry.” I bit my lip as I looked down at the table where my hands were, I then began twiddling my fingers. “I don’t mean to worry you, honest I don’t but I can’t help it.”

“I know sweetheart.” smiled my mum. I like it when she smiled, it was really comforting and I felt safe. To be completely honest I felt safe whenever I was with any of them, mum, dad, Matt, Chloe even Val. I felt as though they were my safety net.

“It’s okay, we’re gonna get you out of here as soon as we can, then we can get you off of that stuff they’re shoving down your throat.” noted my dad angrily, I had come to realise that my dad was a very nice man… until someone threatened someone he loved, then he was scary. I think it’s referred to as being protective. Well, whatever it is it’s definitely rubbed off on Matt.

I smiled at everyone before glancing at the clock, Anne would be back in here in three minutes to get me. I got up from my seat and walked around the table to give everyone hugs. When I got to Matt gave him an odd look, it seemed that when he was here with Val he spoke none stop but whenever he’s with family he sits there as quiet as a mouse, so much so that someone might actually forget he was there.

I walked over to the door and stood next to it before turning back to them so I could say one last thing. “If you see Chloe anywhere, tell her she’s still an Angel.” my mum smiled and nodded her head.

I wasn’t even sure if they would see her but since she’d told me that day in the courtyard she would be helping them get me out I thought that they might have some sort of contact with each other. Which is more than I have, I’m not even allowed in the same ward as her.

Two minutes later Anne walked into the room again with a fake smile. She nodded to me as an indication for me to follow.