Diary Of Insanity

~♦~ Jennifer’s Point Of View ~♦~

Early the next morning I woke to the sound of Anne’s voice telling me to ’get my arse up and outta bed.’ and she claimed she was nice and easy to get along with. I was about to snap a sarcastic comment in her direction but then I remembered what was happening today and suddenly, for once, I got out of bed and refrained from saying anything even remotely mean.

“Good morning Anne!” I sang happily as I stretched my arms up before covering my mouth to yawn.

“That it?” she looked at me as though I’d grew an extra head and was walking on my hands.

“well if you’d prefer it.” I sighed. “Good morning you bitter old hag.” I growled as I would normally do.

“And why is it that you are so chipper today, young lady?” she asked, placing her hands on her hips.

“Because, believe it or not, today is a good day and I will not let a superficial bitch like you piss on my parade.” I smiled as I walked over to the door. “You gonna let me out or what?” I asked pointing to the door.

Moments later and I was walking down the white, headache-inducing hallway on my way to where the showers were before heading back to my room to wait. I began counting the minutes as they passed, it was only three and a half hours before I was supposed to go and finally meet my long lost family. Three and a half hours!

My stomach was churning, my head was whizzing and I couldn’t focus on anything. All I could think about was my family. I wonder what they look like, I hope they like me, I hope they don’t think I’m crazy.

I sighed as I sat on my bed, drumming my finger tips on the mattress. Couldn’t time go any faster!?

I was away in a dream world thinking about what we would talk about, what I should say when they asked me why I was here when the door opened. I bolted to my feet and stood with my hands behind my back, what could I say, I was nervous!

“Calm down Jen, it’s only me.” giggled Chloe as she walked into the room, leaving the door open behind her.

“Chloe, what’s going on? I thought they would be here by now!” I walked over to her, throwing my hands in the air to exaggerate my point.

“Jenny they aren’t supposed to be here for another hour and a half, calm down!” she stated, holding onto my arms and shaking me slightly.

“I’m sorry Chloe, I’m just really nervous.” I sighed.

“Jennifer what do you have to be worried about? Everything’s going to go fine!” she laughed.

“But Chloe, what if they don’t like me? What if they think I’m a nutcase? What, what if they’re coming to tell me that they want nothing to do with me!?” I was freaking out.

“Jenny, they wouldn’t have went to all the trouble of finding you just to tell you they didn’t want anything to do with you ever again without even so much as getting to know you.” she sighed as she led me over to the open door. “Come on, lets get you outside for some fresh air.”

I nodded as she led me down the hall and through the countless barrier gates and past the immeasurable guards and doctors until finally we were at the door which led to the ‘enclosure’ as I liked to call it.

It was about half the size of a football pitch with a large fence around it. There were a few benches sitting around. Nowhere near anything special.

I walked over to one of the few benches and sat down. The cold wind ruffling my hair and icily seeping through my paper thin t-shirt and trousers as my thoughts began to wonder again.

A few minutes later I was taken out of my thoughts by someone sitting down next to me. I turned to my right and saw Charlotte, one of the other girls here. She had just turned sixteen when she was locked up here for telling the police her ex boyfriend had kidnapped her eighteen month old son.

She then began telling everyone that he was talking to her in spirit, trying to get her to save him and was institutionalized two months later when it was feared that she was a danger to herself and others.

I felt sorry for her, the loss of her son had actually turned her crazy and she was only seventeen years old. The poor girls life was ruined.

“Hello Jenny.” she smiled, her eyes glazed over, showing that she had just been medicated.

“Hey Charlie, how are you?” I asked as I rubbed my arms, trying to heat myself up a bit.

“I’m fine, a bit tired though.” she continued to smile as though she had a joke which only she knew.

“Why?”

“I spoke to Cameron last night,” I sighed, I hated it when she went into her episodes I felt so bad for her. “He’s alive Jenny, he talks to me all the time. I have to get out of here, I have to help him.”

“Maybe one day you will Charlie. Maybe.” I smiled at her. I’d learned a long time ago not to argue with her, it only upset her more. Suddenly she pulled me into a hug.

“A family is the best thing you could ever know Jenny. Now that you’ve got yours back, don’t let anyone take them from you.” I felt my shoulder dampen and realised she was crying heavily.

“Shh it’s ok honey, come on, it’s ok.” I hugged her tighter as I rubbed her back in an attempt to comfort her. After a few minutes later she pulled away, the only sign that she had been crying was her puffy eyes as her tears were gone.

“Do you know what it’s like to be crazy, to be Insane?” she asked as she sat back against the bench again.

“No, but I know what it’s like to have people think you are. I know the way they treat you, the way they think you aren’t capable of understanding anything.” I sighed as I sat back as well.

“Jennifer!” I heard a voice call from the doors to the inside of the ‘hospital.’ I looked over and saw Anne, once our gaze met she signalled for me to go over. “There’s someone to see you!”

I felt the need to jump from my seat and run inside to meet my family but I stayed there for a few seconds to make sure Charlotte was okay now.

“Go get them, girl!” she smiled, her pale face showing a slight glimmer of the happiness which used to constantly adorn her face. I smiled as I got up and jogged over to Anne who scowled at me for making her wait that few seconds as I walked inside, head held high and the feeling of nausea great in my stomach.