Diary Of Insanity

~♦~ Matt’s Point Of View ~♦~

I couldn’t believe it when I found out my little sister was caught up with TJ, Mark and Colin. I didn’t know what I wanted to do more, shout at her or beat the shit out of them. But Zack had spent the morning reasoning with me and he was right, if I didn’t show her that I trusted her she’d probably never tell me anything ever again and that was the last thing I wanted.

I was still no happier about her being anywhere near them and I was still confused about how she’d even met them and why she wouldn’t listen to me when I told her not to get involved with them. She kept talking about some business that she needed them for but she wouldn’t say what and that got even more alarm bells ringing.

I walked into the living room where the rest of the guys were with the five beers I’d gone to get. As I entered the room they all stopped talking and looked up at me, showing that they’d just been talking about the same situation as I’d been thinking about.

“Go on, just say it.” I sighed as I passed the beers around before taking my seat on one of the couches.

“Dude, what the fuck? Why are you so hung up about her hanging out with these guys. If anyone should be pissed about her hanging out with them it’s Zack.” exclaimed Jimmy and I knew I’d have to explain everything to them just like I had to explain it to Zack the night before.

“I’m just not happy about some of the shit they’ve been into bro. Jen’s my sister and I don’t want her getting into any of it. I don’t want her to get hurt.”

“So when you say ‘shit they’ve been into’ what exactly do you mean, like getting piss assed drunk every weekend?” asked Brian before taking a massive gulp of beer.

“You know JB’s girl, Stacey?” they nodded. “she’s been caught up in shit with those two before. It was back in high school and me, Jason and Matt B had to help bail her out.”

“Why, what happened?” Johnny questioned.

“Just some shit like she was helping them sell their stuff to classmates and she’d go to house parties to get some people to buy it. One night she went out with them and there was this guy who looked real loaded so they got her to go up to him and try to sell him some but he wasn’t interested in the drugs, he was interested in her. Good thing us three were there or there could have been one hell of a fight that night.”

Once I finished telling them I noticed that all three of them had the same look on their face as Zack had the night before. Pure, unadulterated shock.

“Why in the name of hell would your sister even want to be anywhere near them, I mean for fuck’s sake she has to be crazy!” shouted Johnny a little over enthusiastically.

“I am not crazy. I may be different but I am not crazy. If you wanted to talk about this Matt you should have come to me. Not them.” I looked up and bit my lip and the sight of Jen standing in the doorway to the living room with tears in her eyes. Shit.

“Jen no.” I said as I quickly jumped up from my seat, Zack was sitting quietly in the corner as though if he were quiet enough he might just disappear. “I swear it’s not what you think. We just want you to talk to us about this stuff, we want you to trust us.”

“There’s just one problem.” I gave her a confused look. “You can’t trust someone if they think your crazy.” she whispered the last bit before turning and taking off out of the living room. I freaked, she was going to run again.

I quickly bolted out of the living room and to the front door just as she was opening it. I grabbed onto her arm and pulled her back so I could slam the door shut. If she ran, she’d go to TJ and if they knew we were having problems they’d take her from me. I couldn’t let that happen.

“Matt let go of me!” she called out as she wriggled about, pulling her arm to try to get me to let go.

“Jen I’m not letting you run off again. You can’t keep doing that every time things get too much for you to handle.” I said as I tried to calm her down.

“Too much to handle? I’m sorry are we talking about the times my so called brother and his friends have practically voiced the fact that they wish I was back in Lakeview? Or maybe it’s the times the same people have used my background to make unfair assumptions?” she snarled as she attempted to push me backwards.

“Jennifer you know that’s not fair.” she was getting unreasonable.

“Is that right? You know what else isn’t fair, the fact that I hadn’t seen or heard from you for the past nineteen years and now that I’m here you think you’ve got a right to act like the responsible big brother who give’s a damn. Well guess what Matt, I don’t need a second father, or a brother for that matter. I’m fine on my own.”

I loosened my grip on her, completely in shock at what she’d just said. She pulled her arm away from me before turning and leaving the house. I had no idea that’s what she thought, I didn’t realise she was still hurt about the fact that we didn’t find her sooner.

I was so in shock that I didn’t notice Zack run outside to get her. He got to her just as she was at the bottom of the stairs leading from the porch onto the pathway. I stood there, watching tem through the front door which he’d left open. The other three guys were standing at the living room door listening.

“No Zack I’m not going to apologise, he’s acting like I’m a two year old!” she called as she struggled with him, trying to get him to let her go so she could disappear again.

“Fine if you don’t want to at least try that’s fine but don’t go. You know I don’t like it when you disappear Jen, I get worried about you. Please.” that seemed to do the trick cause next thing I knew Jen was walking up the front stairs with Zack next to her. When she walked into the hall she looked at me, her eyes showing slight regret but not much.

“I’ll be upstairs, call me when he’s gone.” she then turned and walked upstairs without even looking back.

Think I just ruined my relationship with my sister.