Make You Feel My Love

Jade was standing in front of her mirror in her old bedroom. Most of her bruises had disappeared by now, and she had even managed to take a shower and finally treat her hair again. The brunette was looking at herself in the mirror, pleased to see her face with some makeup on for once.

She was dressed in a ruffled silk-georgette dress with sleeves, covering the rest of her bruised skin and a pair of black flats, as she was still not ready to step into heels.

“You look gorgeous, honey!” Esther spoke from the door entrance, her eyes shining by the sight of her daughter who looked like her old self again.

“Thanks,” Jade smiled sincerely.

She was nervous.

She hadn’t seen them since they had stepped into her room at the hospital. Ever since that everything that had been communicated between them had been through Michelle. Jade was still unsure if they wanted her in their lives again, and she was petrified of how Val would react when the brunette turned up at Zack’s doorstep, even though they had all been informed about it.

“Stop thinking about it!” Michelle ordered, her hands gripping the wheel, meanwhile she had noticed how Jade had been sucked up in her own thoughts.

“I’m sorry.” she muffled.

The drive to Zack’s house consisted of the two of them being awfully quiet, meanwhile they let the radio prevent the silence. Michelle and Jade were still working things out, and that meant that things would be awkward in the beginning.

Michelle soon stopped in front of the house, snatching her keys and stuffing them into her purse, before she opened her door and got out. Jade did the same, somewhat proud of herself for reaching a new step in her recovery.

“Come on!” Michelle linked their arms, following Jade’s pace, as the two women made their way through the front door.

Jade’s stomach was tickling with nerves, and she instantly regretted turning up. The sound of familiar voices reached her ears, and she was about to stop In her tracks when Zack’s voice called for her.

“Jade!” the raven-haired guitarist beamed happily, looking somewhat surprised.

He walked towards her, before Michelle stopped him. “You’re not allowed to hug her!” she informed strictly.

He nodded quickly and then turned his gaze towards Jade again. “It’s good to see you. You look good.” he complimented.

“Thanks, Zee.” Jade smiled brightly, her hands still sticky with nerves.

The sound of movements soon reached her ears, as her grey Siamese came running towards the owner she had missed so much.

“Honey!” tears filled Jade’s eyes by the sight of her cat, that happened to be the only thing left of William.

Jade tried to bend down, her mouth hissing a bit, as Michelle picked up the fluffy creature and handed it over to the excited owner.

“God, I’ve missed you!” Jade muffled to her cat, leaving lots of kisses in it’s soft fur.

“That little fucker over there fucking hates me!” Jimmy screeched, pointing his finger at Honey, meanwhile he furrowed his eyebrows.

“She doesn’t!” Lea protested.

“Honey’s not capable of hate,” Jade voiced. “She’s just a little shy and picky.” she insisted.

“Jade! You look lovely!” Gena suddenly beamed, interrupting their conversation.

“Come on, let’s go back to the backyard.” Zack muttered at the little crowd, placing his hand on Jade’s back and guiding her towards his garden.

It almost felt like her legs had turned into jell as she stepped into the big backyard and felt their gazes on her. Matt had been chatting with Johnny about upcoming tour stuff, before he had stopped and instead started glaring at the brunette.

“I’m glad you came,” Jimmy smiled as the cat had taken off again. I’ve missed you.” he told her.

“I’ve missed you too.” she said, realizing that her voice would crack if he kept being so cute.

“It’s really good to see you.” Lea was next up, a sincere smile curving her cherry red lips.

“You too.” Jade smiled, returning her nice gesture.

“Looking fly as always.” Johnny sniggered, finally loosening up the awkward tension that hung over the group.

“Thanks, Short Shit.” she chuckled.

“You do look great, Jade. Honestly,” Matt stated. “It’s good to see you like that again.”

“Thanks, Matt. It’s good to wear something else than hospital gowns.” Jade voiced.

“I can imagine,” the singer nodded. “How are you holding up?” he asked, offering her a seat.

“Okay, I guess,” she shrugged. “I have a lot of things to go through now that Will and I are over.” she admitted.

“I’m so sorry, darling.” Matt looked genuinely sorry as he brought his hand around hers and gave it a light squeeze.

“No need to be.” Jade assured him.

“Are you moving out?” Lacey asked, her fingers hooked around an ice cold beer.

“Yeah, I just don’t know where or when,” Jade admitted. “I can’t afford living in that house with only one income.”

“It is a huge house,” Gena nodded. “I’m sure you’ll find a great home.” she smiled.

“Yeah! There are a lot of great houses and apartments in Huntington!” Johnny quipped from his seat.

“You don’t have to worry about that now.” Michelle smiled at her, bringing her hands unto Jade’s shoulders, lightly massaging her shoulders.

“Yeah! Right now you gotta worry about getting drunk!” Jimmy jumped up from his seat, ready to find a drink for her.

“I’m sorry, Jim. I’m not allowed to drink when I’m on medication.” Jade stated.

“Ah, fuck.” Jimmy pouted his lips, immediately sinking back into his chair.

“How much are you taking? If you don’t mind my asking.” Matt asked.

“Oh, here we go...” Michelle sighed, as she had seen the list Claire had given Jade.

“Right now I’m taking different kinds of pain killers, combined with sleeping pills.” Jade said.

“Do you know when you’ll be able to drink again?” Jimmy asked, looking genuinely sad about the fact that Jade couldn’t drink.

“I don’t know. I think I have three weeks to go.” Jade shrugged.

“Jeez. I would die!”

“Jimmy!” Lea sighed at her boyfriend.

“You guys will be touring by then, won’t you?” Jade asked, changing the subject.

“Yeah,” Zack nodded. “We’re leaving in three weeks.” he announced.

“You guys did finish the album, right?” the brunette asked, chewing lightly on her bottom lip.

Johnny and Matt exchanged a look, before a sigh left Matt’s lips. “We’re going in to the studio tomorrow.” he told Jade, who looked a little disappointed.

“We’ll be launching before we start touring, so there’s really no problem.” Johnny assured her.

“Brian told us you freaked out a little.” Zack chuckled.

“Speaking of Brian, where the fuck is he?” Matt looked around the yard, realizing that he hadn’t seen his friend for a while.

“He left something at home.” Johnny said.

Val soon walked into the backyard, her gaze avoiding Jade meanwhile she climbed into Matt’s lap, resting her head against his chest and feeling his arms that draped around her shoulders, his lips leaving a firm kiss against her exposed shoulder blade.

Jade swallowed the lump in her throat, immediately regretting coming, as Michelle got to her feet and requested the attention of her twin.

The brunette watched as Val got up from her seat again and chased her sister into the kitchen, leaving Jade alone with her thoughts for a little while.

“Do you want something to drink, dear?” Gena asked the brunette.

“Do you have soda?” Jade muffled softly.

“Of course!” the blonde smiled, as she got up from her seat and disappeared inside.

“Synyster fucking Gates! Finally!” Jimmy yelled on top of his lungs as his friend appeared into the backyard, carrying more booze for the guys.

“Fuck! You’re so slow!” Johnny mouthed out loud.

“Here you fucking go.” Brian announced, dumping the booze on top of the table, before he noticed that Jade was here.

She looked a little sad with an ice bag pressed against her white dress, and her gaze looking down in her lap.

Brian chewed on his bottom lip. She looked a lot better now. Most the bruises were gone, and the injuries in her face had been covered with some makeup.

“Hey you.” he said, shoving his hands carelessly into the pockets of his jeans.

“Hi.” Jade voiced back.

“How are you doing?” Brian asked, plumping down next to her.

“Been better.” she half-chuckled, just as Gena returned from the kitchen with an ice cold coke for her.

“There you go, honey.” she smiled sweetly.

“Thanks, Gena.” Jade returned the gesture.

“So you’re home for good?” Brian asked, cracking his beer and digging his lips into the foam that topped the can.

“Yeah, more or less,” she shrugged. “I’m staying with my mom.” she announced.

Brian nodded slowly. “Seems like a great plan.”

“What about you? You’re soon hitting the road again.” she smiled.

Jade had never been around when the guys were touring. They had had a break during the months she had been home, as they were now working on their next record.

“Yeah, God, it’s a lot,” Brian sighed, rubbing his fingers against his temple.

“I’m sure you’ll have lots of fun,” Jade told him. “I can’t wait to hear the new stuff.”

“I always knew you had a little metalhead inside of you.” he teased.

“Oh please,” she chuckled, soon realizing that it was hurting her ribs. “Ouch.” she mouthed.

“Shit, I’m sorry.” Brian blurted, looking very alarmed, meanwhile she sat up in the chair.

“No, it’s not your fault!” she assured him.

“Gates! Can you help with the food?” Zack asked, a cigarette resting between his lips.

“Sure thing!” he announced, leaving Jade as he figured out that he shouldn’t overstay his visit with her.

Michelle and Val soon emerged outside again, both of them sipping their drinks, as they walked over to Jade.

“It’s good to see you again, Jade.” Valary declared, taking the brunette by surprise.

“Really?” she blurted out, unable to hide how surprised she was.

“Yeah.” Val said, avoiding her dark eyes, meanwhile she sat down in front of the brunette, and watched as her twin walked off.

“Val…” Jade started, knowing the one of them had to make the move.

“Don’t bother, Jade,” Val shook her head. “Honestly, I have no idea why ‘Chelle’s decided to forgive you. You literally ruined her life.” the blonde woman announced.

“I know.” the brunette whimpered.

“No, Jade! You fucking don’t! She’s been literally begging for a wedding her entire life, and you ruined that!” Val raised her voice, still not loud enough to attract attention from the others.

“And in some way she found it in her heart to keep you in her life, despite what you did…” the blonde trailed off, shaking her head again. “So here’s the thing. I’m gonna act polite around you, but that doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten what you did and the pain you brought upon her.” she said.

Jade stared down into her glass, too uncomfortable to open her mouth. Val was right. Jade had ruined Michelle’s life, and no matter how hard Jade tried to fix that, the bruises would never fade.

Jade got up from her seat. Her eyes were prickling with tears, and right now she had to go the bathroom. She couldn’t let Michelle see her like this – vulnerable and filled with regret.

She paddled towards the toilet, fighting with every bone in her body up the stairs, before she shut the door to the toilet and glanced up at the reflection of herself in the mirror.

How did Michelle forgive me? I ruined her.

The tears weighted heavily in her eyes, soon sliding down her cheeks, meanwhile the brunette rested her hands against the cold sink, resting her entire weight on her palms.

Why am I here? I don’t belong in their lives anymore. I don’t deserve this.

Jade kept crying silently in the bathroom, unable to prevent the tears that slipped down her cheeks, dragging her mascara and moving her foundation.

A faint knock soon fell against her door, as a soft voice whimpered. “Jade? Honey, are you in there?”

It was Lea.

Jade sniffled a little, drying the tears from her eyes and unlocking the door, her eyes big and puffy.

“Sweetheart! What’s wrong?” Lea voiced, closing the door behind her and cupping Jade’s face with her hands. “You can talk to me.”

“No, I can’t.” Jade sniffled, sitting down on top of the toilet.

“Of course you can, honey,” the other brunette insisted, kneeling before her with her hands placed on her shoulders. “Is it because of Brian? Did he say something?” Lea asked.

Jade only shook her head. “No.”

“Was it someone else?”

Jade didn’t respond.

“Val’s just looking out for Michelle, you know that,” Lea comforted. “She’s furious beyond belief right now, but give her some time.”

“But she’s right, Lea! I ruined my best friend’s life! I don’t deserve her!” Jade shook her head, tears all but storming down her cheeks.

“Jade, please don’t be so hard on yourself,” Lea whimpered. “We all know that you did a terrible mistake, but after all that’s happened, you shouldn’t be thinking about that now.”

Jade inhaled a long breath, feeling Lea’s fingers that ran through her hair. “Sweet, I know things are difficult right now, but you have to hold on.” she said.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” Jade whimpered. “She’s your friend too.”

“Yes, but so are you, and you’ve been going through a lot lately. Right now I think you need the support more than Michelle.” Leana admitted.

Jade dried her tears with the back of her hands. Perhaps Leana was right. Michelle had been processing the things between her and Brian for nearly two months. She had cleaned out all of her belongings from the home they once shared, moved into an apartment after spending way too many days back at her childhood home. She was getting back to work and had placed every memory with the man she once loved in the back of her head.

“Come on. Let me take you home.” Lea said after a while.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to call a cab? You came here to have great time." Jade muffled.

“Sweet, I did have a great time,” the brunette assured her. “And I would never be comfortable to let someone that I don’t know take you home.” she added.

“You’re great, Lea.” Jade said, glancing up at the brunette.

“And so are you, even though you don’t believe it now.”