Skin + Bones

♪ Lauv - Chasing Fire (Robin Schulz Remix) ♪

Cecilia didn't cry. She didn’t even feel upset really. She simply felt numb, as if her brain had pressed pause on her emotions. It seemed quite ridiculous. He’s just a boy, she told herself a million times over. Her heart refused to listen to logic as it dully ached inside her chest.

You’ll get over it.

Her eyes unfocused, staring off at the blur of a television in front of her as water dripped down her back from her wet hair. A sharp tug of her hair caused her face to contort into a painful expression for a moment.

“Sorry,” Her motherly softly apologized, weaving the strand she had pulled in with the others, french braiding Cecilia's hair tightly against her scalp.

“What's been up with you lately? You were so happy the past two months, why are you so down again?” Her mother asked, Cecilia's head tilted back as her hair was being pulled tightly.

She thought for a moment on how to respond. Should she be upfront with her mother? They had never talked about feelings of that sort and so she wasn't sure where she stood on Cecilia dating- not that it seemed like something that would happen anytime soon.

“My friend has a girlfriend now,” She started, “He won’t have time to hang out with me anymore,”

Okay, so maybe that wasn't the whole truth, but it was definitely one of her worries.

“Well, if he really is your friend, he’d make time for you, no?” She asked, tying the hairband tightly around the end of the one braid.

“I don't know, Mom,” Cecilia's head was yanked back again as her mom started on the next braid, “I haven’t really been a good friend. I've been pretty selfish,”

“Why’s that?” She asked, separating sections with a comb.

“I-” Cecilia stopped, wondering just how much she should tell her mom, “I… guess I care too much about my own feelings rather than his. I always make everything about me,”

“Well, there’s only one way to fix that,” Her mother stated, twisting the strands of hair together.

So Cecilia decided to fix it. She wanted to apologize, but she wasn’t sure when she’d next get to be alone with Jimin. Hana took up most of his time- something she had seemed to be jealous of Cecilia for in the beginning.

They all hung out together during school hours, as Jimin and Hana coerced her to join their group at lunch. There were a couple other boys that hung around with them, but Cecilia never really quite payed attention to them, as they were loud and boisterous. Although hard to ignore, she managed to tune everyone out most of the time, simply picking at her food instead of eating, feeling like everyone's eyes were on her the second they were around food.

One sunny afternoon, after the bell had rung, as Cecilia was walking towards the bus stop, Jimin's familiar voice called out to her. Hana didn't seem to be around, which was quite strange as he had begun to drive her home everyday.

Cecilia gripped her backpack straps, shuffling towards Jimin who stood by his car. Her skinny jeans chafed against her inner thighs, making her cringe in discomfort.

“Where’s Hana?” She asked once she was close enough for conversation. Her shoes scuffed against the concrete lazily.

“Sick, she’s got the flu and is gonna miss this whole week. I thought it might be a good time to catch up with my best friend,” Jimin announced with a grin, throwing his arms around Cecilia, guiding her to the passenger side. His comforting scent engulfed her once again, making her want nothing more than to stay in his awkward side embrace for the rest of the evening.

“Oh, alright,” Cecilia smiled as Jimin opened the door for her. She climbed in, placing her bag on the floor between her feet, wrapping her headphones around her phone while Jimin walked round to his side.

“Is it okay if we go to my place?” Jimin asked once sat in the vehicle, buckling up his seatbelt as if asking that question was nothing.

“Uh, sure, why?”

“So we can study?” Jimin laughed.

Cecilia forgot, exams were coming up and she had forgotten to study anything. Other than the basic review in class, her books remained untouched in her bag the second she left the classroom.

“Oh shit,” She cursed.

Jimin laughed, a sweet giggly sound that was soon drowned out by the starting of the cars engine. While they drove, Cecilia texted her mother, letting her know where she was headed.

Soon enough she found herself in Jimin's driveway, a modest looking home that seemed to be the same build as her own. She swallowed, nervous. There didn’t seem to be other cars in the driveway, so his parents likely weren’t home. Jimin turned off the engine, pulling his phone from the cup holder where he had dropped it before. He quickly responded to a couple texts, Cecilia tried not to glance over and read them, wondering if he was texting Hana.

“Well, let's hit the books,” He announced in the silent car, locking his phone and stepping out of the vehicle.

Somehow it felt wrong, as she watched him walk towards his front door, searching his key chain for the right one. It felt wrong to be at his house, as if she was crossing a boundary. There was only one friend whos home she had visited on multiple occasions but she didn't quite believe it counted since she was forced to hang out with the girl due to her parents connections.

Her thoughts were cut off when Jimin stopped, realizing Cecilia wasn’t behind him, waving her over. She scrambled out of the car, slinging her bag over her shoulder and shutting the door. Shyly, she stepped up behind Jimin, waiting for him to open the door.

“Are… Your parents aren’t home?” Cecilia asked as Jimin unlocked the door.

“No, they usually work pretty late,” He responded casually, toeing his shoes off on the front matt after stepping inside. Cecilia followed suit.

“We can study in the living room,” Jimin said, Cecilia trailing behind him like a lost puppy as he walked down the hallway. He made a right turn in the second doorway and tossed his bag onto the couch.

“You can get comfortable, I’m just gonna change,” He said, patting her shoulder as he left the room again.

Cecilia slowly made her way to the couch, placing her bag beside Jimin’s and sitting carefully on the black sofa. She took a deep breath, glancing around the room. It was decorated well, very modern and simple. There wasn’t much clutter and everything seemed to be organized. Even the remotes for the large television mounted on the wall, were lined up neatly on the coffee table in front of her.

She pressed her knees together, hands grasping one another tightly. His house smelled nice- the lingering scent of something sweet, but still fresh and clean. There were a couple photos hung on the walls, but it appeared to be of pieces of art, no family photos. Her brows furrowed together as she heard Jimin's muffled voice from down the hall. It became clearer as she heard footsteps approaching.

Jimin appeared round the corner, now dressed in running shorts that were cut just above the knee, showing off his toned legs, and a plain white t shirt. It was a simple outfit, but Cecilia couldn't help but admire just how good he looked. He had his phone to his ear, laughing before disappearing into another room again. Cecilia stayed on the couch, nervously listening to his muffled voice as he shuffled around the kitchen, closing cupboards here and there. Soon he returned to the living room with two glasses of ice water, which Cecilia greatly accepted.

It wasn’t overly hot outside that day, however wherever she was with Jimin made her overheat and sweat uneccesarily. He was like a sun, not only because she found him good looking, but when he smiled it felt like he was glowing. He lit up the room with his presence, his laughter, his friendliness. Everything he did felt spectacular to Cecilia, and she couldn’t get enough of being around him. She wondered if Hana felt the same.

“Okay, baby, I gotta go, we’ve gotta study,” He said gently into the phone. There was an audible cough from the other end, “And don’t forget to take some more medicine. I’ll bring you some food later,”

Cecilia sat awkwardly, hands jammed between her thighs, waiting.

“Okay, yup” He responded quickly, “Okay, bye,”

He turned to Cecilia and apologized before plopping down on the floor infront of her with a huge sigh. He leaned back onto her legs, his head tilting back to rest on her thighs, glancing up at her. His mop of black hair fell from his forehead, exposing his eyebrows. Cecilia smiled down at him, to which he responded with his own beautiful smile. He reached up and grabbed her hands, placing them in his hair.

She froze.

“Play with my hair?”

A moment of silence, as Cecilia’s heart thumped against her chest.

“Oh okay,” She responded, taken back, before combing her fingers through his silky hair. Her short nails gently scratched his scalp as she did so, Jimins eyes falling shut as he relaxed further.

“I thought we were supposed to study?” She asked. It wasn’t that she wanted this to stop. Being this close to Jimin, having him interact with her like this was what she always wanted.

“We will, I just wanna relax a bit first,” He replied, shifting his sitting position a bit. He moaned slightly at the feeling of her nails against his scalp.

Her hands flew away from his hair, twisting to reach for her bag.

“Okay! Well, I think that’s enough of that. Let’s study,” Cecilia cleared her throat.

Jimin lifted his head, giggling at her reaction.

“Because I moaned?”

Cecilia’s hands froze inside of her bag, wrapped tightly around a textbook. Her eyes darted around the couch beside her, not expecting him to be so straightforward. She should’ve expected it- he always had been since the beginning.

“No, you said we came here to study, not cuddle,” She gathered her wits, pulling her textbook out of her bag and setting in on the table near Jimin.

“We can cuddle too, if you want?” He laughed, crawling up on the couch next to her. Cecilia took a deep breath, trying not to be affected by his actions. She knew he was teasing her.

“Jimin, c’mon,” She whined, pulling out her notebook as well.

“But you’re so soooooft,” Jimin whined back, wrapping his arms around her waist. She couldnt fight his strength as he toppled them over onto their sides, “And waaaaarm,”

He nuzzled into her shoulder from the side, she could feel him breathe in.

“You always smell like vanilla,” He giggled, rubbing his cheek against her.

Jimin had always been touchy, but he had never been like this. Perhaps Hana being sick had him craving for more physical affection since he couldn’t get it from her.

“Jimin,” Cecilia said gently, trying to push him off.

“What?” He held on tighter, like a koala in a tree, his leg came over and wrapped around hers.

They must have looked awkward, flopped over sideways, him clinging onto her. Luckily no one was around to see. Cecilia didn’t say more, just lay there, taking in the feeling of Jimin wrapped around her, trying to best remember the feeling for when she was away from him.

It was silent for a few moments, the only sound was of birds chirping outside.

“Your hearts beating really fast,” Jimin pointed out.

“Can we study now?” Cecilia gulped.

“Fine,” He sighed overdramtically as he untangled his limbs from hers. He slid back down to the floor and pulled his own books out of his bag.

“Come sit down here,” He patted the ground next to him, waiting for Cecilia to slide down beside him. Before she did, his fingers tapped against her feet, noticing her mismatched socks. He giggled at her, eyes squinting as he smiled.

“So cute,”

Cecilia immediately slid down beside him, letting her legs lay straight out under the coffee table. Jimin pulled out his writing materials and books, highlighters and pens spread across the white glass top table. He got comfortable, letting one of his legs overlap with Cecilias. He always had to be touching her in someway, it seemed.

They got to work on their studies, helping each other out when necessary, chatting idly between writing. His younger brother had walked through the door not much later, going straight to his room.The sounds of video game shooting found its way through the quiet house. Soon enough, the room was beginning to get dark, indicating the sun had gone down and it was getting late. Jimin stood and stretched, his shirt riding up his hips, exposing his belly button. Cecilia immediately looked away, cheeks burning. She had hoped Jimin wouldn’t notice.

“It’s just a tummy,” He laughed lightly, grabbing her hand and pulling her to her feet.

“I know,” Cecilia replied, trying to play it cool.

“You have one too,” He giggled, playfully poking her stomach, his finger sinking into the flesh.

Her eyebrows raised slightly, knowing he didn’t mean to insult her, but her overthinking mentality took hold. She smiled tightly, turning around to gather up her belongings, stuffing them in her bag.

“I think I should head home now, it’s getting late,” Cecilia announced. She zipped up her bag as Jimin stood silently.

“Oh, uh, yeah, okay. I told Hana I was going to get her food anyway,” He coughed, realizing just what he had insinuated. He left the room, returning with his younger brother.

“Whenever you're ready,” He said to Cecilia, the awkwardness between them now obvious as the young boy looked between the two.

They all left the house, Jimin locking the door behind them, his younger brother skipping towards the back door of the car. The ride was mostly silent, except for his brother asking the occasional questions about things that were passing by. Jimin answered them with patience, and although it was adorable, Cecilia couldn’t take her mind off of Jimin's finger sinking into her belly.

It was only a handful of minutes before they pulled up outside her house, Cecilia quickly grabbed her bag, practically scrambling to exit the vehicle.

“Thanks for today,” She said, monotonously, before Jimin could say anything she shut the door, quickly shuffling towards her home.