Hands

I woke up groggily to an empty bed, the typical scene. Jacks side of the bed was made and there seemed to be no sign of him. A usual Saturday. It was as if my mind surged my body out of bed, the thought of texting Yoongi being the first thing on my mind. I threw the covers back, hopping to my feet and grabbing my phone from its charger.

L: You up yet?

I glanced at the time first, it was just after 9 in the morning. I wasn't sure how late of a sleeper he was, and I knew some people who didn't get out of bed until noon on the weekends.

A response came a minute later as I was walking into my closet. I knew I would have the day mostly to myself, the one thing I loved about Saturdays. Jack was never around until dinner time, giving me the freedom of an empty house.

Y: I am now.

L: Can you meet me somewhere?

Y: Anywhere.

I bit my lip, scanning my clothes, trying to think of something to wear, suddenly worrying about what Yoongi might think of me. I shook my head, typing out a response.

L: I'll send you the address. Let's get breakfast.

I gave him the address to a restaurant out of the way, asking him to meet me there in an hour. I texted April afterwards, asking if she was awake yet and if everything was okay last night. I apologized to her briefly for not checking in earlier.

I quickly pulled on a simple pair of jeans and a sweater before heading to the bathroom to brush my hair. As I glanced in the mirror, I decide to put on some makeup, the dark circles under my eyes from staying out late last night were making themselves apparent.

After making sure I looked presentable, I gathered my things in my purse and headed out the door. I was thankful that Robert was Jack's personal driver, not needing to follow me around all day. Although, if Jack was just a bit smarter he would of thought of that idea, if he really didn't want me going places without him.

After climbing into the taxi and telling the driver the address, my phone chimed with a text from April.

A: It was awkward.

L: What, why?

A: Can you meet me for breakfast?

I pursed my lips, not wanting to ditch Yoongi, but feeling a responsibility to April as her friend. I sighed, typing out a response.

L: I'll text you when I'm ready to leave and you can meet me at the usual spot.

April responded with a heart emoji before I closed the text app, reaching into my bag for my headphones. The drive from Jack's apartment to the restaurant was about half an hour, so I took the time to do a little research. I plugged the earbuds in, to my phone and ears, and opened YouTube. I wracked my brain to try and remember what Yoongi had said their group was called, but couldn't for the life of me. Instead, I simply searched his name.

Almost all the videos that popped up were fan videos, appreciating Yoongi, compilations, vines, try not to laugh challenges. I had never been part of any kind of fan base before and was a little thrown off by the sheer amount and length of the videos. There was just so much of him there that I wasn't sure how to process the fact. My eye caught the letters BTS and suddenly I remembered. I erased his name and typed in the three magical letters instead. The letters that would seal my fate.

A YouTube Mix was the first thing to show up, so I hit play, letting the first video start. I made it full screen, turning my phone to the side, making sure my volume was at a good level. I glanced at the taxi driver who couldn't care less what I was doing. I felt kind of creepy looking Yoongi up, but my curiosity got the better of me.

The video started, an intro displaying the words Big Hit on a white backdrop before switching to a shot of the same group of guys I had met last night, as they stood behind a chain link fence. They were talking, obviously joking around. Some of their hair was differently coloured than last night, but it wasn't hard to figure out who was who.

Not even five seconds later, a man in a black hoodie walked up to the them. And there he was. His hair was dyed grey, and he wore a patterned button up. He leaned against the fence, gazing at the faceless man before hopping over the chain link. There was a shot of his legs, as the camera followed them up to the rest of his body. I swallowed hard, now becoming nervous about meeting him for breakfast. I couldn't believe it was the same man I was going to meet.

He said one word, kicking off the rest of the music. But the way he said it had me pressing my thighs together. His voice was so deep and smooth, my mind instantly thinking back to the previous night when he laid his hand on my thigh before Jack had called and ruined everything.

He looked good in the video. Like, really good. I continued to watch him throughout the video, surprised by his voice as he tripped and stumbled as if he were drunk. The dancing threw me off, not expecting it, but pleasantly surprised. I watched the whole video and found myself smiling at the end, wondering if it had been plastered on my face the whole time. I let it play the next one. And the next one after that. And so on.

I only stopped when the taxi driver caught my attention, waving his hand by my face. Immediately I yanked my headphones out, shoving my phone in my bag.

“I'm sorry,” I said, rushing to pay him and exit the vehicle.

Standing outside the restaurant, I couldn't see inside, so instead opened the door and was seated by one of the waiters. I couldn't see Yoongi at any of the tables so only assumed he wasn't here yet. I ordered a tea before pulling my phone out again, unable to help myself. I plugged one ear phone in and continued to watch more of their music videos. After a couple minutes, just as one of Yoongi's parts began, I felt a tap on my shoulder.

“What're you watching?”

I fumbled with my phone as it landed on the table with a loud smack, causing a couple people to look over at us. Yoongi chuckled at me, coming to sit across from me after putting his jacket over the back of the chair. I slid my phone off the table and stuffed it in my bag for good this time. I could feel how hot my cheeks were in embarrassment.

“So, what were you watching?” He asked again, crossing his fingers over one another on the table top. I could smell his cologne as he leaned in a bit, a smirk on his lips. His kissable lips. I shook my head.

“You,” I admitted, looking down at my own hands as I fiddled with my utensils.

The waiter dropped off a tea pot and a mug before quickly taking Yoongi's drink order and leaving.

“Were you enjoying it?” He continued.

“Yes,” I said quietly before clearing my throat, “You guys are very talented,”

His eyes scanned my face as he smiled softly.

“Thank you, Princess,”

I couldn't tear my eyes away from his. They were so mesmerizing and it didn't help that he looked extraordinarily cuddly that morning. He was wearing a large black hoodie, a white hat with two little metal rings hanging from it. He quickly glanced around the restaurant before looking back at me.

“Which one was your favourite?” He asked as I picked up my spoon and put sugar in my mug.

“Song or video?” I responded.

“Both,”

The waiter returned with a cup of black coffee, setting it in front of Yoongi. He left again, letting us decide on the food we wanted.

“I liked all of them,” I smiled at him, stirring my tea, sugar and milk together. My answer didn't seem to please him, as he continued to stare at me, awaiting another.

“Okay fine,” I giggled, watching his lips quirk up slightly at the sound, “I really liked the Blood, Sweat, and Tears video. You all looked very handsome, but my favourite song was Save Me. I haven't listened to too many yet so it might change,”

He laughed lightly, leaning back in his chair and stretching his arms. His eyes still held a bit of sleepiness in there and I felt a little bad. He focused on the menu.

“Sorry, you look tired, you probably don't wanna be here right now,” I shook my head, picking up my tea and bringing it to my lips. When I looked back to him and his eyebrows were almost meeting in the middle in confusion.

“Don't ruin it,” He said simply.

I cleared my throat, placing the teacup back down, apologizing.

“Look,” He started but was interrupted by the waiter, who kindly took our orders. He continued once the young man left, “I know you're in a complicated relationship… obviously one you don't want to be in. But you said last night you had a plan? I'm curious,”

“It's… well it's not really a plan,” I admitted, watching as Yoongi's eyes continued to roam my face. They were so damn pretty. The gentle and soft curve of them mixed with the darkness of his brown irises that held an intense gaze, counteracted each other in the perfect way, making it very hard to look away from them.

“Well, I just- I shouldn't have said anything last night. I'm sorry. If Jack hadn’t of called me, I wouldn't of had to leave, you wouldn't have chased after me, and I wouldn't have you getting caught up in this. I had a few too many drinks last night and clearly wasn't thinking straight. I'm truly sorry, Yoongi,”

“So why invite me here?” He asked, suddenly a mask fell over his emotions, leaving him looking detached. I had obviously struck a nerve. I hadn't meant to, I only wished to be honest.

I opened my mouth to speak, not quite knowing what to say. He jumped on my silence.

“Why not just not speak to me? There was no reason to text me and ask me out if-” He seemed to stop himself, his large hand coming up to rub at his mouth and chin in frustration. His eyes left my face, gazing just past me.

“I'm sorry,” I repeated, “What I did was wrong. Not only the obvious flirting earlier in the night, I lead you on, but as well as the whole sharing my life story part. I didn't need to drag you into this. Yes, it's true. I'm seeking help, but I don't think you really need any of this stress, especially involving some stranger,” I scoffed, folding my cotton napkin over my lap.

He didn't move. His eyes didn't even look my way. Yet he still uttered a sentence, or rather a question. Despite his emotionless look, the words were filled deeply with sentiment.

“What if I want to?”

I was silent, unsure of how to respond. He removed his hand, his words become clear rather than muffled. His acute stare falling upon my face once more. I felt my cheeks flare with hear this time.

“You don't get to make that decision for me. You're not forcing me to get involved. I chose to. I could have easily let you walk away after leaving that restaurant but something told me to follow you, Leia. A feeling in my gut told me that there was something wrong. That you were in need of help. Turns out I was right,”

The emotions seeped back into his features, his pouty lips downturned slightly. I reached over and placed my hand on top of the one he had sitting on the table, feeling the warmth of his skin. I was sure my fingers felt like ice.

“Thank you,” I whispered.

Yoongi's hand slipped away, leaving me disappointed until I felt his fingers creep underneath of mine, intertwining them. The warmth of his skin melted the iciness of my own, a warmth blossoming in me that I hadn't felt before.

“I know that everything is complicated, but,” He paused, thumb brushing over the backside of my hand, “Can we just enjoy each other's company for however long we have left?”

It took me a moment to respond, looking into his dark eyes. There was a slight sadness to them, the tiredness that had them almost staying closed with every blink. However, there was also a hopefulness in them- a need, a want. A desire. A look that felt like it was specifically for me. Once again, we had fallen into our own little world, everything else around us being drowned out. There was an unspoken agreement as I gave his hand a squeeze, indicating that I was on board.

It was simple; just enjoy each other's company while we still could. What that would entail, we would both be surprised.