Too Scared to Love Again

“This is gonna be so much fun!” Blair announced, almost unable to keep her eyes upon the road from behind the wheel.

“Jeez, look at the road!” Cynthia mouthed from the backseat, where she was enjoying a cold Norwegian beer.

Lynn was staring blankly at the road, looking anything but impressed as the three of them were on their way to Zack’s, who had decided to throw a rather big party as Michelle had announced that she was back in Cali for almost two weeks.

The brunette shifted in her seat, her thoughts wondering back to the night at the bar, when she and Brian had been all by themselves as she was supposed to close the bar that night. The sensation of his lips pressed against hers had been unreal, and she had been thankful that she managed to maintain her cool and stop before things went further.

“Ya’ll know we have to follow the topic, right?” the ginger-haired woman spoke, as she had soon reached the destination.

“The mask topic? Oh, please! Zee’s so not original!” Cynthia snorted from the backseat, and then flashed one of the masks she had been wearing at Dreams when Donna threw a night with a specific topic.

“It was my idea, okay!” Blair argued. “And besides, it’s more to it!” she half-sang.

“Are you telling us this now?” Lynn raised her voice and then glanced over at Blair.

“Yes! Everyone needs to find someone during the evening, and just before midnight everyone’s gonna take their masks off and kiss the person they’ve been chasing!” she all but clasped her hands together.

“Wow, that is so Gossip Girl, B!” Cynthia shook her head, obviously unimpressed. “What if the one I’m chasing isn’t chasing me back?”

“That won’t happen!” Blair stated confidently.

“And what if I don’t wanna kiss the person who’s chasing me?” Lynn cocked her eyebrows.

“Oh, come on, L! I’m not gonna let you be grumpy tonight!” Blair all but insisted, as she nudged her friend before unbuckling her seatbelt.

The women had arrived a little early, as Zack had wanted the three of them to come before the party started. The dark-haired guitarist greeted the women at the porch, giving all of them a hug, before he grabbed a hold of Blair and brought their lips together.

“Yuck!” Cynthia snorted, as the lovebirds were left at the porch, meanwhile Lynn and Cynthia had already entered the house.

Blair only flashed her middle-finger at her roomies, and then brought her leg up into Zack’s palm. The man sniggered against her lips, not wanting to let go, before the voice of Michelle made the couple break apart.

“Zee! Stop licking her face and get over here!” Michelle had her arms crossed over her chest, and she looked like a mother who was disappointed of her child.

Zack cleaned his lip, realizing that Blair hadn’t hesitated to bite his pierced lip, before he grabbed her hand and brought her inside.

Lynn and Cynthia arrived early into the living room, where they found Jimmy with a rather thick joint between his slender fingers. In front of him was a bottle of tequila, and they both knew he had started the evening earlier than everyone else.

“Cynthia! Lynn!” Val announced, and then padded towards them. The blonde hugged both of the women, a glass of red wine in her hand, before she pecked their cheeks. “It’s so good to see you! Are ya’ll ready for the night?”

“Well, Blair just told us that the topic is a little more than just a mask.” Lynn admitted, looking as unimpressed as always.

“Oh, of course she did!” Johnny shook his head, having spent a little too much time with Blair due to her relationship with Zack.

“Well, it won’t be difficult to find you girls a partner!” Michelle insisted, and then gave the blonde woman a hug, before she moved over to Lynn.

“It’s so good to see you, Evans!” Michelle quipped happily, a cold beer in her hand that lightly touched Lynn’s bare back.

“You too, Misha! How have you been?” Lynn responded, before she stepped back and glanced at the brunette.

“Good, but busy! Nothing new, in other words!” she chuckled. “How about you? Brian told me you’ve been busy!” Michelle announced, her hands resting on Lynn’s shoulders.

“As if he would know!” Cynthia snorted from next to Lynn. “She’s been watching Homeland the entire week!” the blonde let out.

Brian was standing next to Val, the two of them chatting rather nonchalantly about the party. The dark-haired guitarist had caught the sight of Lynn several minutes ago, and it had been hard to tear his gaze off her since then.

The brunette had left her hair hanging down for the evening, and she was wearing a Guns’N Roses top with a low neckline and a bare back, which gave him the perfect view of her red lace bralette. His eyes travelled down to the tight skinny jeans she was wearing along with the old converse he’d seen a numerous of times at this point.

Just as the guitarist took a swig from his drink, he heard the sound of Cynthia as she claimed that Lynn hadn’t really been busy lately. Her words almost made him choke at his drink, as Val soon shot her friend a look.

“You okay?” the blonde chuckled.

“Y-yeah!” Brian reassured her, before he glanced up at Lynn, whose gaze was pointing towards her shoes.

“Really? Brian told me that you’ve been so busy lately!” Michelle said, and then brought her drink up to her lips.

“I have!” Lynn all but insisted. “I just sent in my last assignment before the holiday break!”

“Seriously? Congrats!” the brunette let out, before pulling Lynn in for another hug. “How does it feel?”
“Awesome!” the other woman let out, her words followed by a sigh of relief.

“We should celebrate! I have a bottle of Jack on the counter! Go and grab a drink for yourself!” Michelle insisted.

“What? Seriously?” Lynn’s eyebrows travelled high up on her forehead.

“Yeah, of course! Off you go!”

Lynn shook her head a little at her friend, as she emerged into Zack’s kitchen. The brunette couldn’t help but wonder who Michelle was sharing that bottle with, while she spotted it on top of the counter. Lynn then started inspecting the shelves, wondering where Zack had his whiskey glasses.

“Third shelf.” a deep familiar voice said from behind, as Lynn could feel a shiver that slowly crept down her spine.

The brunette followed the recommendation, and soon found the glass she had been looking for. Lynn grabbed it and placed it next to her drink, before she turned around and looked into a pair of dark brown eyes she knew too well.

“Hi.” Lynn said, her fingers wrapped around the bottle of Jack.

“It’s been a long time.” Brian stated, and then moved one step closer to her, watching as she tried to move her attention over to her glass.

“Yeah. I’ve been busy.” Lynn shrugged, meanwhile she poured herself a drink, realizing that she could use a great amount of Jack.

“I’ve noticed.” Brian stated back, before bringing his scotch up to his lips.

Lynn could feel his narrowed gaze rest upon her, meanwhile the brunette started mixing her drink, having done this so many times that she could probably do it in her sleep.

“So, how are you feeling about this party?” he asked, and then watched as Lynn leaned back towards the counter, looking slightly more relaxed now.

“B didn’t exactly mention the entire topic before we were outside Zack’s house.” Lynn let out, which made Brian chuckle.

“Of course.” he all but sniggered back.

“What about you? I bet you would like to chase someone around.” Lynn told him, suddenly not realizing what she’d just said, until the warmth rose to her cheeks and she felt like a silly teenager again.

“Oh, I think you’re right,” Brian replied, his cocky signature smirk resting on his lips. “Thanks for reminding me, Evans.”

“Shut it!” she frowned back, all but scolding at the man, meanwhile she could feel her free fist clenching next to her thigh.

“You look good by the way,” he announced, almost like he had never complimented her appearance before. “At least according to that guy over there.” Brian added, pointing a lazy finger at a man who had been eyeing Lynn for a little while now.

Lynn could feel the warmth almost sting her cheeks, just as she glanced over at a man who, just like Brian had pointed out, been glancing over at Lynn. The brunette caught the man’s look, and then allowed her eyes to gently take in his appearance. He had blonde rough hair and from what she could see he was just as inked up as the rest of Zack’s friends. Lynn was convinced that he was almost a head taller than her, and there was something lurking behind his light eyes.

“Jesus fuck!” Cynthia groaned underneath her breath, meanwhile she adjusted the mask. “B and Zack are already fucking, and I hate this stupid mask!” the blonde hissed.

“You tell me.” Lynn shook her head, and then started adjusting her own, before she took a swig from her drink.

“What did Haner tell you? According to Misha, he’s been miserable all week!” she told her friend, who tried her hardest to hide the surprise that had rolled over her face.

Thank God I’m wearing this stupid mask, the brunette thought to herself.

“Nothing.” Lynn shrugged.

“Misha said something about that she’s convinced the guy is in love. I didn’t know he had it in him!” Cynthia all but quipped.

“You know there’s a possibility that she’s mistaken, right?” Lynn cocked her eyebrows, knowing that even though her friend couldn’t see it, Cynthia knew what her face looked like.

“Oh, come on! Michelle’s not wrong about this one! I’m just so curious about who it could be!”

“Why?” Lynn asked dryly. “He’s the most uninteresting person out there. Seriously, C, why can’t you fangirl over someone who’s not boring?” the brunette all but sighed, sounding genuinely irritated with her friend, before she grabbed her drink and took off.

“What the hell is wrong with her?” Cynthia mumbled under her breath, watching as Lynn made her way out of the kitchen, her fast steps making it look like she had just been offended by Cynthia’s words.

The air inside the house made Lynn feel like she was trapped. Her grip around her drink tightened, and so did her jaw, as she looked around and prayed to find a way into the garden. People had started to arrive, and Lynn soon realized that Zack had really pulled out the big guns for this party, as it looked like the man had intended on filling up the entire mansion.

“You okay there?” a deep voice spoke to her, as Lynn almost lost her grip around her drink, before she collected herself and found herself looking into the eyes of the blonde man who had been observing her earlier.

“Yeah. I was just wondering where I could go to get some fresh air.” Lynn admitted.

“Oh, I know, just follow me.” he reassured her.

“I think you ought to tell me what your name is before I do anything with you.” she chuckled a little, just as the man hovered with laughter as well.

“I’m sorry, sweet. I’m Ryan, and you are?”

“Lynn.”

“That’s a sweet name.” he pressed his lips into a sincere smile, before Lynn let him guide her out of the house.

“You’re a friend of Zack?” she asked, taking occasional sips of her drink and letting her gaze rest on the inside of the glass.

“No, my cousin is! I’m just visiting Cali, and got dragged into this,” Ryan shrugged. “What about you? You don’t exactly look thrilled to be here.” he pointed out with a short laughter.

“My roomie is dating him,” Lynn shrugged. “So coming here wasn’t really an option.”

“Seriously? Your friend is dating Zack Baker?” Ryan’s eyebrows climbed high on his long forehead, and the man looked genuinely impressed.

“Yeah. It’s really weird.” Lynn chuckled awkwardly.

“How did that happen? Isn’t he in like a world-famous band?”

“Yup, I guess he is. But he’s also a guy that likes to go to bars, so I guess you have your answer.”

“She’s a bartender? Shit, she doesn’t exactly look like one.” Ryan confessed.

“Yeah, she is. Actually, my other friend and I work there as well.”

“That’s awesome! Would you mind making me a drink later?” he sniggered.

“I guess.” Lynn chuckled back, finding this entire conversation both awkward and unnecessary.

The brunette allowed her eyes to move towards the porch, where she found Val and Matt, both of them being cuddly and nauseously cute Zack’s armchair, meanwhile Johnny and Rebecca were standing at the other side of the porch, the petite bassist enjoying a cigarette.

“So, did you come here with anyone?” Ryan asked, realizing that Lynn’s attention was driving away from him.

“My friends?” her eyebrows climbed high on her forehead, as she looked like the question had a very obvious answer.

Ryan chuckled rather darkly at her question, his laughter making it sound as though he genuinely found her funny.

“You know what I mean.”

“No, I don’t.” Lynn reassured him, frowning a little at the man, as she took a swig from her drink.

“I mean, did you come here with anyone that I could make jealous.” he lowered his voice as he spoke, and at the same time as he did so, the man stepped closer to Lynn, slipping his long fingers around her wrist and lightly brushing the back of his thumb over her hand.

Lynn could feel an uncomfortable shiver roll down her spine. The way he so effortlessly made a move on her, seizing a privilege she hadn’t given him, bugged her, and it also frightened her. She could feel his warmth radiate towards her skin, and the sound she wanted to perform got trapped inside her throat.

“Lynn? Is everything okay?” Matt Berry asked, a guy Lynn recognized as an old friend of Avenged Sevenfold,

Ryan’s grip around her wrist loosened when he saw how Matt was looking at him, and especially when he noticed that the man who seemed to know Lynn was companied by another guy who looked like him.

“Yes.” Ryan tried to reassure the men.

“Dude, we weren’t asking you,” Jason, the other man, asked. “We were asking Lynn.”

“There’s no need to get rough, guys.” Ryan chuckled, sounding as though they were being overdramatic.

“That’s not up to you to decide.” Matt stated calmly.

“Yeah. By the way, Lynn, I think Brian’s looking for you.” Jason added.

“Y-yeah, I forgot that. I think I should find him.” Lynn stated, the grip around her drink tightening as she could feel the way Ryan was looking at her.

“Sounds like a plan!” Jason smiled, and then wrapped his arm around her shoulders, his brother making sure that Ryan’s grip fell from Lynn’s body as she slipped passed her knights in shining armour and made her way into the house again.

Lynn could feel her heart beat stressfully against her chest, as her feet reached the stairs. She couldn’t see either Cynthia and Blair as she climbed the stairs and saw someone return from one of Zack’s bathrooms.

Her palms soon reached the cool sink, as the frustration burned through her eyes while the tears stung her dark orbs. Lynn could feel the hopeless feeling linger into the pit of her stomach, as she loosened her mask and placed it on top of the counter. Her fists clenched, and in one second, she was almost convinced that she was about to hit the mirror in front of her out of pure frustration.

Just as Lynn could feel the frustration reach its climax, she was interrupted by the bathroom door opening, revealing what looked like a worried Brian.

“Hey. Are you okay?” he asked, running a hand nervously through his hair. “Jason texted me and told me what happened… God what a jerk.” Brian wrinkled his nose as he spoke.

“Yeah, I’m okay.” Lynn reassured him, listening to the sound of Florence and the Machine that came down stairs, as someone had apparently managed to steal Zack’s Macbook at some point.

“Lynn, can we talk?” Brian cleared his throat after the words left his lips, and for the first time the brunette dared to meet his gaze.

“About what?” Lynn crossed her arms over her chest and her eyebrows moved up a fraction on her forehead, which they always did when she was unimpressed about something.

“Us.”

“There’s nothing to talk about!” she said rather quickly, this time frowning at him.

“I think you should kiss me tonight.” Brian suddenly said.

“WHAT?” Lynn let out, her voice appearing louder than what she intended to. “You just asked me if I was okay after a guy tried to creep me out!” she reminded him.

“Yes, but I’m not trying to creep you out!” Brian pointed out, waving a tattooed finger at her.

“Yes, you’re a fucking saint, Haner!” Lynn grumbled under her breath, rolling her eyes at him.

“Oh, come on, Lynn! You can’t tell me that it was a bad kiss last time!” Brian told her, sounding somewhat offended by her lack response.

“I’m not talking about that with you!” she replied.

“Why? You’ve been avoiding it for almost a week now!” he argued back.

“Ignored it? What’s there to ignore?” Lynn cocked her eyebrows at him.

“I don’t know, you tell me!” Brian let out, his patience starting to run out.

“I haven’t been ignoring you!” Lynn reassured him, which he didn’t seem to buy.

“Bullshit!” he shook his head.

“No, it’s not!” she half-snapped back at him. “Besides, I don’t have to explain myself to you!”

“In this case you do! You’ve been constantly avoiding me ever since it happened! Why?” Brian asked, lacing his long fingers into his dark hair.

“I haven’t been avoiding you! I have a life!” Lynn raised her voice at him.

“This is bullshit!” Brian recalled again.

“Okay, you know what?” Lynn sighed. “I’m out of here! I’m not doing this! I don’t owe you shit!” she frowned, grabbing her mask and stepping closer to the door with her back facing him.

“Fine!” Brian shouted at her.

“Fine!” Lynn replied, just as childishly as him, before gripping the door handle and turning the key.

Fuck.

“Okay, that was A LOT to take in, you two!” a drunken Jimmy told the two of them, his arm wrapped around Cynthia’s shoulders, who was just as drunk as him.

“Ya’ll have so much to explain!” Cynthia slurred at Brian and Lynn, pointing her finger at the two of them.

“And I won’t be doing that right now.” Lynn said, as she slipped passed the drunken couple and skipped down the hall, obviously furious with Brian.

The guitarist remained inside the bathroom, his fists clenching as he saw how Lynn walked off. He couldn’t exactly tell what it was, but it was something in the way she ignored him that made his chest twist uncomfortably and that really right into the core of his stomach.

Why the fuck do I care so much? Brian thought to himself.