Here I Am, There You Are

“Hey,” I whispered and dipped down to kiss Jack’s neck before continuing the whisper in his ear, “it’s Christmas.”

He softly groaned and his eyes fluttered open, falling directly on my figure. “Am I still dreaming?”

“No,” I shook my head and hit his chest lightly in disgust, “I’m only sitting on top of you because I’m trying to wake you up!”

“Well, I’m awake, so…” His hands, which were first at his sides, now trailed up my legs and towards my hips.

“Dude,” I climbed back off of him and got off the bed as well, “it’s Christmas.”

“Why do you keep calling me dude?” he breathed out loudly and looked at me, catching a glimpse of my shirt rising up as I put my hair up in a ponytail.

I gave him a weird look and slid one of the hair ties from my wrist before dropping my arms down again. “Bro.”

“Ah, yes, so much better,” he commented sarcastically.

But he got his revenge. While I was still standing close to the bed, he suddenly sat up a little, reached out, and managed to grab me around my waist, pulling me back on the bed. I yelped in surprise and couldn’t help laughing loudly as he started tickling me. I was squirming around, subconsciously trying to kick him off me, while he was poking at my sides. There was no way to deny it, I was super ticklish, and Jack knew that. He always took it to his advantage. I could break into a fit of giggles if he grazed my skin too lightly while we had sex.

There was a loud knock at the door before it was harshly kicked open, hitting the wall loudly. Ethan was stood on the other side, still in his pajamas, and looking very excited. Although sixteen, he didn’t let anything take him down on this day.

“It’s Christmas, bitches!” he announced with a power stance.

“That it is!” I agreed just as enthusiastically as I jumped up from the bed yet again that morning, now completely awake and pumped due to my laughter. “Time to go downstairs!”

“Hell, yeah!”

Ethan and I started charging towards the stairs, but I took a detour. “But first, I gotta go to the bathroom!”

I disappeared into the bathroom and closed the door behind myself. Although I knew my brother was waiting for me, I took my time to use the toilet and wash my face. Since it was Christmas morning, I knew I wasn’t going to get to take a shower for a long time. We always stayed in our pajamas until the afternoon. I wanted to be at least a little clean.

To be honest, I wasn’t actually planning on being home for Christmas, let alone with Jack. It would have been the first year I wouldn’t have spent it with my family. I was going to stay in LA, but I was actually going to spend it there with Jack. The whole plan was already set. So, why did I end up buying last minute tickets and coming back home? Well, my sister was originally going to come over with her almost-husband. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to come as well, and it wasn’t at all that I was trying to hide Jack from her--she actually knew about our relationship, just not many details. I just figured it would have been way too much for my parents to handle for an entire week. But, then my sister canceled. Her fiance, Christopher, had to make a last minute business trip to the Bahamas, and Anna went along--don’t ask me why the hell why work required him to go there, because I did not know either. So, I felt obliged to go home. I told Jack I was going to go home after all and he asked to come along. I was okay with it, as were my parents, and that was that.

I exited the bathroom again so see Ethan waiting, both bored and excited. He perked up a little when he saw me again. “You were taking ages, so I told Jack to use my bathroom.”

Just at that second, Jack came back out of my brother’s room. It was as if his action had flipped a switch for both me and Ethan, and we both rushed up to the stairs. Before we went down, though, we both froze on the first step and looked at each other. The adrenaline was already rushing through my body and it was urging me to get a move on already.

There were no instructions needed as Ethan started counting down, “three, two, one, go!”

We both sprinted down the stairs, trying our best not to mess up and trip while also trying to get the other out of the way. Our arms were in front of each other so we could try to block each other while still moving. Once downstairs, we took a sharp turn of nearly one-hundred-and-eighty degrees, down the hall. The wood floor was particularly slippery ever since my parents had polished it again for Christmas, but neither of us was wearing socks. Still, it was easy to face plant at a speed like this. We took a sharp left, through the two-way swing door, which could screw you over. If the other was just a bit faster, you’d get hit by it in your face. But it was a close one this time and we both rushed into the kitchen. Our parents were already there, making breakfast. On the bar were three mugs waiting for us. Ethan picked up the last one, meaning I got to take a closer one and we both started chugging the hot chocolate with marshmallows. Although it was a perfect temperature--meaning nobody could burn themselves on it--the mini marshmallows were always my downfall. Ethan just swallowed them like it was nothing, while I had to make sure I wouldn’t choke like I had done eight years ago. Surprisingly, Ethan and I slammed our mugs back on the counter at the same time this year and started running through the dining room, dodging the chairs and other furniture, and into the living room. Ethan jumped over the back of the couch and laid down quickly, bringing me to a halt.

“Oh, come on!” I shouted in annoyance.

“Ha, ha! I won!” he laughed with glee. “And you didn’t even have to let me win!”

“I totally let you win!” I argued and walked around the couch to join him.

“Oh, yeah, totally,” he snorted and brushed my argument off.

“I used to let you win, and now I regret that,” I sighed, nudging him with my foot since I was still standing, and joked, “The number of times I kept that door open for you… I should have just let it slam in your five-year-old face.”

“Yeah, you might have actually won now if I had sustained enough injuries back then.”

I walked up to the fireplace and took the gift in Ethan’s Christmas stocking before taking the two gifts out of my own. My sister’s was also hanging alongside them, right in between mine and Ethan’s. But that one was empty. I assumed my parents must have sent her her gift in the mail, but it was still quite upsetting to see.

When I went to turn around to go back to Ethan, I saw Jack going into the kitchen from the living/dining room entrance, looking a little traumatized. He was treading carefully, looking around in shock.

“Don’t worry, Jack,” my mom assured, putting down the oven mitts as the smell of freshly baked goods entered the living room, “you don’t have to chug your hot chocolate.”

“This is mine?” he carefully asked, pointing at the mug Ethan and I left on the bar.

“Yes, all yours. I’m also making coffee, but we always start Christmas off this way.” She smiled and Jack nodded cautiously before taking a sip of his drink. “Oh, Rachel, look what you did. The poor boy’s wondering what he got himself into!”

“Don’t worry, he loves me,” I shrugged off and let myself fall onto the couch, causing Ethan to retract his feet.

“Yeah, keep telling yourself that,” Jack commented and slowly came to join us.

“Rather break up with you than break a tradition with my brother.” I stuck out my tongue at Jack and hugged Ethan’s legs to me.

“Don’t touch me,” Ethan complained and kicked his feet so I couldn’t do anything but let go.

“He knows what’s up,” Jack gave Ethan a nod and sat next to me, drinking some more of the hot chocolate he was savoring.

“Dude, you can talk,” I accused, referring to what went down when I had woken him up that very morning.

“Really? Again?” Jack breathed out with exasperation and looked at me. But it wasn’t because I practically just said out loud that we were quite sexually active.

“Fine,” I sighed dramatically, “you can talk, babe.”

“Gross.” Ethan scrunched up his nose while he looked at us.

“Right?!” I was so happy that there was one more person who thought that nickname was weird for me to use. Not even a second later, though, I leaned back against Jack and he put the arm, which I was pushing against, on the backrest while drinking more hot chocolate.

If you couldn’t tell by now, Jack and I had quite a… casual… relationship. Not in the sense that we were sleeping with other people or dating on the side. We were completely exclusive and all the labels were set. If that didn’t say anything, then us approaching nine months of dating should. It was just impossible for us to act all lovey-dovey to each other. I had been able to do it towards some of my ex-boyfriends, but I just couldn’t leave behind the deeper underlying friendship Jack and I already had. We had just seen too much of each other to act like we were ever perfect human beings. And to be honest, I preferred it this way. There was no real standard to uphold, we were just ourselves. And, yes, that included it being weird for me to use cute nicknames.

“I can call you cheesepuff if you prefer, cause I do really like cheesepuffs,” I offered as a genuine idea.

“That is so sappy,” Ethan shook his head before Jack could make a comment, and sat up to snatch the gift I had taken from his stocking and meant to give to him. “Now, gimme that.”

I rolled my eyes and took a look at the two gifts I had left. There was a label stuck to both of them. The first one had my name scribbled in my mom’s handwritten, so I assumed and checked that the other had Jack’s name. After I confirmed that it was indeed for him, I handed it over. He seemed quite surprised.

“I also get something?” he frowned in confusion and looked at the gift suspiciously while Ethan had already opened his.

“You really have to catch up on your Steward Christmas traditions, Cheesepuff,” I nudged with a wink and started carefully lifting up the tape on my gift.

“Yeah, ‘Cheesepuff’ isn’t going to work.” Jack pursed his lips and shook his head.

“I’m just going to have to start calling you ‘babe’ then, aren’t I? The more I say it, the easier it will be to get used to… But, hey, that will be my Christmas gift from me to you.”

“And your New Year’s resolution!” he added with a grin.

“There we go! Two birds with one stone!”

Finally, Jack also started opening his gift. I already knew the main gist of what was in the gift for all of us. Like I said before, it was a tradition. It was a tradition that had been around ever since Anna was four and I was six, way before Ethan was born. The object was always the same, but what exactly it was was always different.

So, to me, it didn’t sound weird when I heard Ethan exclaim, “Okay, I’ve got the best ones! Reindeer pugs!”

“Umm, excuse me, mine are the best,” I corrected and held up the socks I had gotten for him to see. “Sloths with Christmas hats on gifts.”

“Okay, this is pretty adorable,” Jack chipped in with his own, showing the black socks that each had one kitten with a Santa hat on and a couple of gifts. They were the most neutral, but I understood that. Ethan and I would get the weirdest ones, and it would get weirder every year, but my mom did want to get something nice for Jack.

“Did I do it right or are you going to trade?” My mom asked as both my parents joined us, sitting in the two recliners. We had done it before, when we both preferred what the other had gotten--of course, that was only in the recent years because we had similar sizes.

“Mine are the best,” Ethan repeated with a nod.

“No, mine definitely are,” I snorted and pulled the tag off, putting them on immediately.

I helped Ethan do the same to his socks since he just cut his finger on the plastic while Jack understood what he had to do next. He didn’t need any help and slid on his socks before I could even put on mine. Immediately, he thanked my mom, which was the polite thing to do. For me and Ethan, though, our excitement was more than enough for my mom to know we loved the gift yet again and that we were grateful.

And then slowly but surely we transitioned to the rest of the gifts. My dad brought coffee to the table and we started with our secret santas. At least my sister had canceled just soon enough for nobody to have bought their gifts when they were still doing it together, after all everybody always bought their gifts last minute. I didn’t know how much the order had changed when Jack and I joined, but I sure was glad with the person I needed to get a gift for.

Ethan was the first allowed to open his gift. It was the largest on the table and he was the youngest, so that was just an immediate election to go first. As a kid, I hated never being allowed to go first, but I appreciated it now, especially during Secret Santa. Having to guess who got you the gift first was horrifying.

It was now always my brother’s job. He made the most of it and ripped away the paper that had been so carefully wrapped despite the difficult shape. Eventually, one wheel was revealed before the entire skateboard came out.

“Okay, this is awesome.” He was sporting a very big smile as he turned over the deck to see the design on the bottom.

We all let him and ourselves admire the gift for a bit longer before my mom asked, “so who do you think got it for you?”

Ethan then froze up and eyed us all suspiciously to see if we would break. “Well, either way mom or Rachel must have wrapped it. But if they got it, that’s the question. Hmm…” He took a look at the other gifts still on the table and then at the gifts still under the tree. Recognition flashed across his face and he turned to me and Jack. “It’s one of you. We don’t have this wrapping paper at home.” He then stared both me and Jack down before giving a statement, “okay. It’s from Jack, but… Rachel helped him buy it and wrapped it for him.”

“Told you he’d get it,” I nudged Jack.

“I’m impressed,” Jack nodded with some amazement, “just one correction. I bought it by myself at a custom shop on tour, but Rachel did tell me what you wanted.”

“Well, it’s amazing. It’s exactly what I wanted,” Ethan thanked, taking another good look at the skateboard. Jack had spent a little extra money actually getting it custom made instead of buying one that was already ready-made. Ethan had this specific idea of all the colors he wanted for parts I knew nothing about, and Jack delivered.

Then, I got to go since we were now going clockwise. My gift wasn’t as large as Ethan’s and it also wasn’t as customized, but I still loved it. I had gotten two mugs shaped like gigantic marshmallows along with a pack of shaved chocolate I could mix with hot milk to make hot chocolate. Immediately, I knew who had gotten it for me.

“Thanks, Ethan,” I grinned at him.

“What?! How did you figure that out?!” He exclaimed, taken aback that I knew it without having to think beforehand.

“You’re not invested in your gift enough, you’re watching me instead.”

“Goddammit!”

“Ethan!” My mom scolded as soon as the words had left his mouth.

“Sorry,” he apologized, “dogdammit.”

Jack was next to go. He had gotten some nice wine glasses without stem from my mom. We were going to have to figure out how to bring them back home safely, but even I really liked the glasses. They weren’t just some silly cop-out gift. We could both tell that the four glasses had a really good quality. I was going to have to get some for myself even though I didn’t drink much at all, if anything. Friends who came over would like them. I knew Lisa would freak out over them as well.

I had gotten my dad his secret santa gift. It was always difficult finding a good gift for him. He never really wanted or needed anything. Well, of course, he’d want a super nice sports car, even I did, but I did not earn enough money to just go around buying cars for people. If he needed a new phone or laptop, I would have gotten it for him--maybe not for secret santa, but definitely for Christmas--but he didn't need those either. He was just a simple man. But I knew he liked his jokes as well. So, I bought him a gift box full of funny socks. It was sort of a reference to the fact that he and my mom always got us weird socks, but also because I just thought they were amazing. He promised he’d wear them to work sometime.

And, then, of course, my dad had my mom. He had bought her some new sheets since she always kept bugging him about wanting new ones and that all the ones they owned were outdated. She was over the moon, which pleasantly surprised my dad.

“I was completely unsure what to give. I need to get you multiple gifts because of this. I’m just glad you like it,” he explained why he was so shocked.

“That’s why I was praying to not get Jack when we drew names,” I said to agree with my dad. I knew where he was coming from.

“Excuse me!” Jack gasped in mock offense.

“I love you and I love giving you things,” I put one hand on his shoulder, “but I am not creative enough to think of multiple gifts.”

“Makes sense,” Jack gave in after wanting to shoot back a counter-argument. He had to admit that he couldn’t do that for me either. I even wanted to bet that he only got me one gift, but that that gift was quite expensive.

And I was correct. The fact that it came in a Tiffany & Co box already said enough. Although I knew I would murder Jack if I ever found out how much it had cost, I couldn’t deny that it was absolutely beautiful. The rose gold hinged bangle bracelet had Roman numerals cut into it, a single round diamond placed between each numeral. After I put it on, I expressed how beautiful I thought it was. I barely got to thank and kiss Jack before my mom tugged on my arm and wanted to take a look as well. She then praised him for his choice, making him chuckle softly.

There was no way I was going to beat that gift, and there was no way I was going to beat how expensive it was. I hoped that he like the whole idea of getting meaningful gifts. He liked it when it was his birthday, but that was before we had been dating for so long. Back then, it was just stupid to get him something expensive and flashy because anything could have still happened to us. I had gotten him two gifts, though. The first one…

“A bathrobe?” my mom questioned after Jack had opened his first gift and held it up.

“Umm, excuse me, a monogrammed bathrobe,” I scoffed like the letters ‘JB’ made the gift so much better before giving the better explanation, “it’s an inside joke.”

Jack winked at me while my mom went ‘oh’. It wasn’t like I was just going to give my boyfriend a random bathrobe. We always joked about Jack needing something to quickly cover up, whether that be when walking around his (or my) house in just his boxers or nothing and the doorbell going or when wanting to walk around the tour bus naked. He just needed to have something that let him do so in style. Hence the monogrammed letters. They just made it so much classier. (That was sarcasm, by the way).

The next gift was a little more serious and came in the shape of a long tube. I hadn’t brought it here from LA. I had bought it the last time we were here, without Jack knowing. We were staying at that hotel and I went out for a coffee with one of my cousins while Jack decided to sleep off his hangover (this wasn’t from the dinner with my parents). With some time to spare before I was going to meet up, I went into a small antique shop. That’s where I bought the gift for Jack despite not knowing if we were still going to be together. My parents were going to ship it over closer to Christmas, but we came to it instead.

Jack slowly removed the paper from the tube and unrolled it. It was an authentic old map of Maryland. The paper had faded to that nice orangey-yellow color. The writing almost fit with Jack’s monogrammed bathrobe, only a little more legible. And it wasn’t just a small thing either. We were still going to have to get him a nice frame for it. Although not exactly, it was just over the size of an A2 piece of paper.

“Oh, wow.” He took a closer look, amazed by the gift I didn’t even know why I had given him. “I know exactly where I can hang this up in my apartment.”

Once we finished with all the gifts and put all the wrapping paper in the fireplace to burn that evening, we had breakfast. But it wasn’t long until my parents had to leave for church. I let them get ready and leave while I did the dishes. Well, it was actually me just putting everything into the dishwasher and then turning it on, but still, I cleaned up the entire table and kitchen.

“I’m actually very glad you guys are here and not Anna and Chris,” Ethan said out of nowhere, laying on the couch yet again and throwing a ball of wrapping paper up, catching it, and throwing it yet again.

“Don’t say that!” I frowned as I dried my hands, which I had just washed after finishing with all the dishes.

“But it’s true,” I could hear him practically rolling his eyes. “If they were here, it would have either been go to church or stay at home alone. Neither of those options are preferred.”

“What, really?” Jack challenged from the recliner he was sitting on. “Back when I was sixteen, I would have killed to be at home alone.”

Ethan stopped throwing the makeshift ball. “It’s boring all alone. What the hell is there to do?”

“Umm, watch porn with sound coming from the speakers and masturbating, obviously,” Jack snorted. “I still do that.”

“Rachel,” Ethan complained, “your boyfriend is a bad influence on me!”

“He is a bad influence on everybody,” I retorted as I joined them again.

Before I could find my own place to sit, Jack reached out and pulled me into his lap, causing me to sit at an angle at first. “You know me so well, I have fully 'influenced' you.”

I shifted a little so my weight was no longer just on the leg closest to his torso. “Hmm, not true,” I shook my head and brushed his hair with my fingers, “I don’t watch porn through the speakers when I’m at home alone.”

“We’ll have to change that, then.”

“I think I’m just fine,” I apologized and gave his head a few pats before stretching so I could reach the remote on the coffee table, “I’m going to find a Christmas movie to watch instead.”

“I want to watch, so please don’t get too ‘coupley’,” Ethan begged, already turned away from us so he didn’t have to watch us.

“I promise I will not randomly make out during a Christmas movie,” I told him as a joke. Of course I wasn’t going to take it far in front of other people. That was for behind closed doors.

“I don’t,” Jack snorted.

“Oh, fuck off.” I flicked his arm and started searching through Netflix, resting my head in the crook of his neck.

After this, I wasn’t going to see my family again until my sister’s wedding. It was going to be quite the adventure.