Doing Better

We hooked up a couple more times after that night. Every time I felt worse. It got to a point where I didn't even want it anymore. He'd call me up in the middle of the night and I'd let him in and he'd fuck me and leave. I'd become numb to it. I felt like a toy. I felt like I couldn't say no though. The more we had sex the more he'd talk to me. He was opening up again. I could feel it. We'd talk about out lives and what was going on. Just for a couple of minutes. That was enough for me. At one point he mentioned that they were going away again soon and I got sad. I knew things weren't quite back to the way they once were, but I felt like him leaving would put us back to square one.

They left a week after he mentioned it. He didn't say goodbye or anything. Not that I expected him to. Lisa came over the night they left and she cried. I wanted to cry too, but I had to be strong. I needed to help her like she helped me. I also didn't need her knowing. I hadn't told anyone about the night of the wedding or any other night for that matter. I was ashamed.

While they were gone I engrossed myself in my work. I stayed all hours of the day in the office and refused to stop. I met deadline after deadline and helped everyone else do the same. My coworkers appreciated me and that was enough to keep me going. At one point my boss called me in to her office and praised me for my work. She offered me a promotion. I'd be head of the department by the end of the month when our previous head left. I took it without question and called Lisa after I left the room.

We went dancing that night at some club downtown. We were there for hours drinking and dancing. She drunkenly took a billion pictures of us and posted them all to Instagram, commenting about how proud she was of me. Overall, it was probably one of the best night's I'd had in a while.

The next morning I woke up alone with the worst headache I'd ever had. I grabbed my phone on my nightstand and noticed the vast amount of notifications I'd had. Most were of last night's pictures. Lisa had tagged me in all of them and there was about a dozen. I laughed to myself as I laid on my back and scrolled through them all. They were all pretty blurry and awful, but everyone seemed to like them. A couple of old friends commented, congratulating me. It felt good knowing I was finally being recognized for my work.

My phone buzzed in my hand. It was a text from Jack. Congrats on your promo. We'll have to celebrate tonight. ;) I froze and checked the calendar on my phone. They weren't due back for another few days.

I thought you guys were coming back on Weds?

A couple of meetings got rescheduled. On our way home now.

Oh okay. Cool.

You busy tonight?

I wanted to say yes. I wasn't ready for him to be home yet. These last few days had been so nice without him for some reason. I wasn't entirely sure if I wanted him back just yet. I knew I couldn't keep avoiding him though.

Maybe.

Okay.

He didn't care if I was busy or not. He just being friendly so we could fuck again. I sighed deeply and threw my phone on the pillow next to me. I ran my fingers through my hair and groaned. He was so annoying. Everything he did made me question what the hell I was doing. Why couldn't I find myself a nice guy who loved me for me like Lisa? Why wasn't that enough for me? I remember last month a guy named James from a different department at work asked if I wanted to go out for drink, but I said no. He was cute as hell and nice and funny, but I said no. And for what? A dumb guy in a band who I'm in love with, but also hate.

I jumped out of bed and got ready for the day. It was Saturday, which meant I could do whatever I wanted. I shot Martin a text and asked if he wanted to come for coffee with Lisa and I. He agreed, which I was honestly surprised about. Most of the time nowadays he barely even responded to our messages. We weren't offended though. We all had things going on.

I got ready and headed down to our usual cafe. It was just down the street from me, which was nice because I was the only one out of the three of us that didn't drive. Since my office was only a ten minute walk away I didn't see the point of owning a vehicle. Lisa and Martin were already there chatting away. I gave him a hug and sat down next to Lisa. They'd already ordered me a coffee, which I thanked them for and took a sip.

“So, uh, I have news.” Martin smiled wide, pulling his phone out of his pocket.

Lisa's eyes darted between me and him multiple times before smiling wide. “No way.”

Martin pulled up a picture of an ultrasound on his phone. A little squiggle of light shown through the dark of the picture. It didn't hold a particular shape, but it was definitely something. Lisa squealed as she leaped across the table to pull Martin into a tight hug. The two of them were so excited.

“That's awesome!” I said. I wasn't nearly as excited as Lisa. I mean, it was great they were expecting, but I didn't care that much. Right now it was just this thing in Emma's stomach. How was I supposed to form an attachment to something that didn't exist yet?

“When is she due? How far along is she? Do you know the gender? Are you excited? Ar-”

“Breathe.” I said.

Lisa took a deep breath and stared at Martin as he laughed. “A couple of months along, so the baby is due in October. We don't know the gender, but we're hoping for a boy. Yes I'm excited, but I'm also so fucking scared that I constantly feel like I'm going to shit my pants.”

I laughed.

“You're going to be an amazing dad.” Lisa grabbed Martin's had and gave it a tight squeeze. “I'm so proud of you.”

“Thanks.” I could tell he was happy. He was basically glowing.

The rest of the coffee date was uneventful. We talked about Lisa and how her and Alex were thinking about moving into together. This wasn't really interesting, because we all expected it. It'd make things easier for them when he left. The two had been dating or nearly three years now, so it honestly made sense. Martin talked about the bar and how business was booming. He apparently was going to have to hire a couple of people to fill in for him, while he was away tending to Emma and the baby. When the topic of conversation got to me we most just talked about my promotion. After that, we all went our separate ways. I went to the counter and waited in line. I needed another coffee desperately.

“Hey, cool shirt.”

I turned to face a guy who was maybe three inches taller than me. He had scraggly dark hair and a thick beard. His ears were stretched slightly and he had a nose ring on the left side. His eyes were big and brown like a pair of chocolates. I looked down at this shirt and back at mine. We were wearing the same one. I laughed.

“You too.”

I turned back to face the counter, moving forward to the till when it was my turn. I ordered a chai latte, but before I could pay t-shirt guy cut me off. “And I'll get an Americano.” He handed the barista a twenty and smiled at me.

“Uh, thank-you.”

He took his change and the two of us awkwardly moved out of the way of the line. He shoved his hands in his pockets and continued to smile. “No problem.” We stood in silence for a bit as we waited for our drinks. His came first, but he didn't move. He blew on his cup and waited for mine to arrive. “I'm Landon.” He held out his hand.

“Frances, but everyone just calls me Frankie.”

“Cute.”

I could feel my face begin to blush. Landon was adorable from head to toe. Everything about him screamed perfect. His skin looked soft and his arms were toned. He wore tight fitted jeans and a pair of black Vans along with our matching shirts.

“I don't want to seem weird, but I, uh, can I ask you out? Like is that too weird?” He chuckled nervously as took a small sip of his drink.

I wasn't sure how to react. Most guys who asked me out just didn't seem to matter in comparison to Jack, but this guy was different for some reason. He seemed nice and friendly and I didn't work with him, which was definitely a plus side. I could see myself with him. At least just for a date or two. We'd have to get to know each other in order to make something out of it.

Before I could think anymore I pulled my phone out of my pocket and handed it to him. “Put in your number and text yourself.” I smiled and took a sip of my tea. It tasted so good.

He walked over to the condiment stand and put his cup on the counter. I followed, grabbing a lid as I watched him tap on the screen of my phone at lightning speed. Once he was done he handed it back to me and poured a bit of milk into his coffee. “You busy tonight? Or is that too forward?”

“No, not at all.” I was looking for something to do tonight anyways. If I had plans Jack couldn't bombard me. “I'm free.”

“Want to go for dinner or something? You like fancy or you more of a pub kind of gal?”

I shrugged. “Surprise me.”

He put the lid on his coffee and turned to me. A huge, goofy grin planted on his face. “I will.”

“Cool. Uh, you live close by?”

“I literally live like two blocks West of here. You?”

“Just up the road in the big brick apartment buildings.” I replied.

“Those are nice.” He nodded. “So, uh, let's say eight o'clock? I can meet you outside of your building if you want?”

“Sure.”

We said our goodbyes. He gave me a quick hug on his way out and excitedly told me he'd see me later. I couldn't help, but smile my whole way home. As I walked up the stairs I could feel my heart swell with joy. A cute boy asked me out and I said yes. It wasn't every day that that happened, especially lately.