Doing Better

I met Landon outside the building at ten to eight. He'd call me five minutes earlier to tell me he'd been too anxious and left his house earlier than expected. I smiled to myself. The idea of a boy feeling actually nervous around me made me feel nice. Jack never felt that way. He was always calm and collected and just seemed to know everything that was going to happen before it did. I hated it.

He hugged me when he saw me. He smelt like coffee. I closed my eyes as we held each other tightly. “You look nice.” I looked down at my outfit. It wasn't anything special. Just a black denim skirt with a striped t-shirt tucked in.

“Thank-you.”

We walked side by side down the road talking about how our days went. Apparently after we met he went home and hung out with his room mate. It was his day off too, so the two of them played a bunch of video games and just relaxed. After I got home I watched two crime docs and then started getting ready. I was nervous all day. I couldn't stop thinking.

“Where are we going?”

Landon pointed to a small building a few feet away. I recognized it, but I'd never really been in there. I thought it was a pizza place, but I was entirely sure. “That's my friend Mark's place. He makes the best pizza I've ever had in my life.” I could tell he was getting hungry just thinking about it. “You like pizza, right?”

“Who doesn't?”

“Fair point.” He nodded and opened the door for me. I quickly slipped inside. It smelt delicious, like garlic. “Hey Mark!”

The largest guy I'd ever seen cocked his head from behind a door on the opposite end of the small building. It was one of those grab and go kind of places with just a few stools lined against either side of the wall. Mark smiled when he saw us, running towards Landon to shake his hand. They exchanged a few hey how are you's before he turned to me. “Who's this?”

“Frankie.”

“Hey.” I gave him a small wave.

“Nice to meet you.” We shook hands. His grips was stern and rough. “Welcome.”

We ordered pizza and ate there. Mark didn't speak to us much after that. He gave it to us on the house, which was really nice of him. Landon I shoveled food into our mouths so fast we barely even talked. Occasionally we'd mention how good each bite was, nodding our heads, followed by laughter. It wasn't uncomfortable though. It was kind of nice. Once we were done we said our goodbyes and headed down the road back to my place. He told me he wanted to watch a movie, which I was totally down for. I loved movies.

When we got inside it was nearly nine. I told him to make himself comfortable. He made his way to the couch and began searching for a movie on Netflix, while I grabbed us a couple of beers. I cracked them open and sat down next to him.

“Thanks.” He took a sip and sighed. “Best date ever.”

I blushed. “Yeah?”

“I mean, I don't know about you, but pizza, beer, and a movie sound like my kind of time.”

I agreed with him. As fun as it was to go out and party it wasn't the same without someone you actually liked. Sure, it was cool hanging out with your friends, but every once in a while it was good to have an actual partner.

My phone began to ring in my pocket. I glanced over at Landon and raised my brow. “You can answer it. It's totally fine.”

“Thanks.” I pulled it out and answered. “Hello?”

“Open your door.” Jack said. My stomach twisted.

“Uh, I can't tonight.”

“What do you mean?” He asked angrily. This was the first time I'd ever said no. It was surprising for the both of us. I wasn't really sure how to go about it, but I wanted to stick up for myself. Just once I wanted to tell him to fuck off and leave me alone.

“I have a guy over.” I bit my finger nail and looked at Landon who was smiling. I smiled back nervously. He was so cute.

“What the fuck?” I swallowed hard. I wasn't expecting that reaction.

“Uh, I, uh.”

“Who is he?”

“Nobody.” I replied quietly. I didn't want Landon to hear in case I offended him. I didn't realize that Jack would get so angry, if I had I probably wouldn't have answered. “Look, I have to go. I'm busy.”

He hung up, which made me nervous. I nervously turned off my phone and sat back on the couch, putting it on the coffee table. I let out a long, much needed sigh and stared forward. I wasn't really sure what was going to happen.

“Who was that?”

I felt like I needed to be honest with Landon. At least to some degree. He deserved the right to know. “A guy I, uh, just a guy.” I sighed.

“Should I be concerned?”

I shook my head. “We had some history. We hooked up for a while, but that's done with now. At least on my end. I don't know if he's over it or not.” I knew that wasn't entirely true, but it was the only way I could explain it without getting too much into detail.

Landon accepted what I had to say. At least it looked like it, which was somewhat reassuring. Just the fact that he wasn't asking questions made me thankful. A conversation like that definitely wasn't first date material in the slightest.

We watched the movie. It was one of those shitty B movies that should never have been made, but was anyways. The dialogue was all off, same with some of the camera angles, and editing. Honestly, the whole thing was a bit embarrassing to watch, but in the most enjoyable way.

“Who let that happen.” I laughed.

“I have no idea, but I'm glad it did.”

I agreed.

“Hey, I think I'm going to head home now. If you're okay with that. I got work in the morning.” Landon adjusted himself in his seat so he was sitting on the very edge of the couch. He rested his hands on his knees and glanced over me. He looked sleepy.

“Okay.” I was sad to see him go, but understood.

“I'd love to do this again.” He began standing up and I followed. We walked together to do the door. Once there we stood face to face for a couple of seconds. My heart was pounding like a drum. I nodded my head. I wanted to see him again. I liked him. He was funny and sweet and the kind of person you can relax around. I felt at ease.

I took a deep breath and leaned forward, kissing him lightly on the lips. It wasn't passionate or anything. Just a quick second or two. His face turned red.

“Oh, uh,” I wasn't sure if it was okay if I did that, “sorry.”

“Don't be.” He cupped his hands under my chin and pulled me close. He kissed me softly. I wrapped my arms around his neck and we remained that way for a couple of moments until he broke free. “That was nice.”

I pressed my face against his chest and smiled. “Yeah.”

More moments passed and I felt myself wanting him to stay. He was the best thing that had happened in a while. I mean, sure, I had Lisa and my job and a nice place, but all those things felt kind of detached, like they weren't really apart of me. Landon felt real, like a missing piece of a puzzle I didn't know I was looking for. I wanted to see him again. I needed to see him again.

“Want to hang out tomorrow? I'm done work around seven. I could swing by. Bring another shitty movie.”

“Yes please.” I smiled.

“Okay. I'll see you tomorrow then.” He peeled himself away from me and left reluctantly. I could tell he wanted to stay, but didn't want to impose or move things too quickly. I respected him for it. Most guys would jump into bed after something like that, but he didn't. As much as I wanted him too, I knew it wasn't a good idea anyways.

Once he left I locked more door and sat back on the couch. I turned on my phone and scrolled through my messages. The majority of them were from work people like usual. At one point I noticed a message from Lisa, which just said: Want to hang tomorrow night?

Can't. Got a date.

A couple of seconds later I got a response: WHAT? WHO?

A guy I met after you guys left.

NO WAY. WHAT'S HIS NAME?

Landon. He's so fucking cute.

Pics?

Hahaha no.

:(

Maybe you'll meet him if things go well.

I wanted things to go well. I liked him and he liked me and it just seemed right. I knew it was still new to think anything of it, but that didn't stop me from fantasizing about it anyways. My mind wandered to the future and what it would look like. Would we get married? Have kids? Be in love forever? I felt like such a girl. I could scream.

My phone buzzed. It was a message from Alex: What's wrong with Jack?

I swallowed hard. What did he mean? Before I could think Alex was calling me. I picked up instantly. “Hey.”

“What the fuck happened Frankie?”

“What do you mean?”

“Jack just burst into my house like a fucking maniac and started screaming and throwing shit. He said you did something.”

I couldn't be happy for more than a second, could I? I closed my eyes tightly, trying to calm myself down as I listened to what Alex had to say. Jack's actions weren't making any sense. Just weeks before it felt like he didn't care at all and now all of a sudden his feelings weren't in check? That didn't seem very fair.

“I didn't fucking do anything.” I was mad. “I barely talk to him.”

“Don't give me that shit.” Alex sounded mad too. “I know you guys fuck all the time. What happened?”

I jumped up from the couch and paced around my living room. I couldn't believe what was happening right now. It wasn't fair. Why was I being attacked all of a sudden when he was always the one who was fucking around with me?

“Frankie.”

“Shut up for a second.”

“No y-”

I heard a knock on my door. I hung up on Alex and opened it. Jack burst into my apartment pacing back and forth like I'd just been doing. He shoved his hands in his pockets and stared at me as he walked back and forth. I left my door open, hoping he'd just walk right out, even though I knew that probably wasn't going to happen.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” I slammed the door. I was pissed.

“Ha, you should be asking yourself the same question.” He mumbled.

I rolled my eyes. “Fuck you. I'm so tired of your bullshit.”

He stopped pacing and walked towards me, stopping just milometers from my face. He breathed heavily. He smelt of booze and cigarettes. He was drunk. “My bullshit, really? You're tired of my bullshit? What about yours?”

“Why are you trying to pin this shit on me?” I stepped backwards and cross my arms over my chest. “You storm into my house all the time and use me for your dick and leave and the one time I say no you go and cry to Alex about how I'm the bad guy? Huh? I don't know what I did to hurt you, but I honestly don't give a shit right now.”

“Because you have somebody new.”

“No.” The last thing I wanted to do was bring Landon into this. I'd just met him. He didn't deserve it. “I don't care, because I'm over this. This thing between us we've shared for too long. I can't take it anymore. I thought if I had sex with you we'd be friends again, but obviously that was a mistake.”

“I thought we were friends.” He argued loudly.

“So did I!” I screamed.

“Why do you do this?”

“Do what?”

“Why can't you just be okay with us being friends and having sex? Why do you need more out of me? We've talked about this. I can't be anything more to you.”

He was being unbelievable if he thought we were still friends. I felt more like a puppet than a friend. Nothing about what went on between us was friendly anymore. It was fucked up. It always had been, but I was too in love with him to notice. I couldn't take it anymore. I wanted him to leave.

“Get out.” I said.

“What?”

“Get the fuck out of my house and don't come back.” I stared at him as angrily as I could. I fought back tears as I spoke. He meant so much to me, but I knew I had to let him go. He wasn't healthy. We weren't healthy. These last two years were the sickest I'd ever been and it was all thanks to him and he had no idea. He only thought of himself and the ways he could use me to his advantage.

Jack stomped towards me, pushing me against the wall. He pressed his forehead against mine. Neither one of us broke eye contact. We breathed heavily. Staring. Waiting for the other person to back down.

“Leave.” I said calmly.

He pressed his lips against mine and grabbed me by the hair. I fought back, slapping him in the face. He stepped backwards, pressing his palm against the spot where I'd hit him. I glared as I walked over to the door and opened it. I motioned him to leave.

He didn't say a single word as he stormed out.