My Angel in Disguise

*****

(Teegan's POV)

I woke up the next morning an absolute mess. My eyes were sore and red, my make up was still smeared all over my face. I looked over at Chester who was fast asleep. I felt extremely terrible for how I acted last night, I knew he was just trying to be comforting, but I honestly didn't know what to say at that point. I decided against my better judgement and snuck out of bed, quietly heading off the bus and over to Avenged's. I sent a quick text to Jimmy who appeared in no later than two minutes. I needed one of my best friends and Jimmy was always my go to when it came to advice. We walked off to a small gas station a couple blocks away to grab coffee before sitting down to talk. "So I'm guessing everyone knows about our problems?" I said with a sad chuckle. Jimmy looked at me sympathetically, shaking his head. "Yeah, it's no big secret Tee. He came on the bus last night after talking with Chester in tears. He told us all he wanted to get help but that you two were done, your friendship was over until things seemed better." I stared at him surprised and a bit shocked.

Chester actually went to talk with him while I was asleep, probably saying God knows what to Zacky. "I had no idea. Fuck I feel so bad Jim, I feel like this is somehow all my fault." I could already feel the tears start to form as I pictured Zack's face from last night. He stuck out his hand, placing it on top of mine. "You're living your life. You're not doing anything wrong. So you and Chester are dating, that's great, you seem to be really happy. So Zacky wants to tear his life apart because he can't grow up, that's not your problem. Don't get me wrong, I love and care about all of us, but when it comes down to it, I believe you deserve to be loved and if Zee can't understand that, then it's his loss in the end." I gave Jimmy's hand a squeeze as I started to cry all over again. This time he got up and hugged me, rubbing a hand over my back to try and help calm me down as I sobbed. "I really do love Chester, Jim. I even had sex with him. I gave my everything to him." Jimmy's mouth hung open slightly after I said that but quickly turned to a smile. "If you feel that strong about him, then it's meant to be. And I couldn't be happier for you."

Once we finished up with our talk and headed back to the buses, I already could tell something was wrong when I saw Chester standing around outside. I parted ways with Jimmy before walking up to him, catching him off guard. "Hey, what's wrong?" I asked as he looked at me with a sort of sad and distant look. "I just went for a walk with Jimmy, I know you talked with Zack. It's okay babe, I'm fine. I know you were protecting me." His face lightened up some. I immediately grabbed onto him, hugging him as tight as I could. He gave in and hugged me back just as tight. "I just don't want you to feel like I'm tearing you away from your friends. I really do love you Teegan, I would do anything to protect you. I'm really sorry that things had to go the way they did, but I'm here for you. I know you love Zack and to be honest he loves you too, a lot. I just want to know that this is really what you want. I want to know if you really want to be with me. I want to know that this is the choice you want to make." My heart hurt as those words came from past his lips. I never meant to make him feel that way, now I felt like I was making him think that I didn't want to be with him. I shifted my gaze up to him, tears rolling down botn of our cheeks. I placed a light kiss on his lips. "You are mine, Chester and I am yours. I gave my whole self to you. And that's how I knew you're the one I want to be with. I wouldn't have done it if I wasn't sure, but I am. I love you, you've brought me to a place where I know I belong. I will never give you up."

After I had finally stopped talking, he wasted no time in attacking me with kisses all over my face. "I'm sorry baby. I just wanted to make sure you wanted this." I laughed softly, kissing him on the tip of his nose. "If you stop doubting me, I'll show you how much I want this." I whispered with a seductive wink. He rubbed the back of his neck and nervously bit his lip. "Then why don't you show me?"

(Zacky's POV)

As the day progressed to night, Teegan and I had kept our distance from each other the entire time except for the occasional walk by or whenever she came on the bus to talk with Matt or Brian until it was just about time to go on. As we headed to take the stage, she walked over to me, her camera in her hands. "I want one more to remember us by, please?" I inhaled a large breath and let it out slowly. "Come here." She stood beside me, I wrapped my arm over her shoulder while she kissed my cheek. "Thanks, good luck. Not that you'll need it," She said with a half smile. I nodded, following alongside everyone else. I tried to hide the tears that built up in my eyes, but failed miserably. "This is for the best of both of you. Don't break her heart a second time. Let her go Zee." Brian said in my ear as he clapped a hand to my back. I wiped the fallen tears away "Lets get this over with."

I couldn't count the number of times I had fucked up a chord or riff, eventually causing Matt to look over at me in frustration. I kept focusing all my attention on Teegan as she stood there in that same spot, snapping away pictures of all of us. No matter how hard I tried I just couldn't seem to keep my mind free of her. I knew I had to have at least one more moment with her before I lost her entirely. Thankfully we were done quickly seeing as I wasn't that into it anyway before I raced off stage and out to the back where I waited for her. I knew the others wouldn't be far behind which literally only gave me less than a minute to find her. When I saw her come in view, I hurriedly pulled her by her arm into the nearest empty dressing room I could find and pinned her against the wall. "Zacky, we can't." I shushed her as I pressed my lips to hers in a hard kiss. She fought back but eventually gave in and kissed me back. We kissed and kissed, our tongues dancing in each other's mouths. I wanted so badly to take her right then and there but I knew I had to respect her boundaries and not push it any further. When we finally pulled away for air, both our faces were confused and hurt, causing us both to start crying. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I will miss you, so much." I said in her ear as I held her close against me. She sobbed and wailed loudly into my chest, screaming how it just wasn't fair. "I love you, I love him. I love the both of you. This isn't fair Zacky." She started to thrash around and shove me roughly as she cried. Hearing her say those words made my heart skip a few beats and caused me to sob even harder.

Without another word, she turned from me and ran away. I waited a few minutes before leaving the room to not make it look obvious but hiding the pain on my face was inevitable. I walked past the guys as they chatted with the others in Linkin Park, keeping my head down until I made it outside and onto the bus. I climbed into my bunk and laid there, starting to cry all over again. I just wanted to go home already.

(Teegan's POV)

I ran and ran as fast as I could until I was far away from everyone and everything. My stomach ached as I threw up everywhere around me. I had cheated on Chester, I had kissed Zacky. I was in love with both of them. I tried so hard not to let my feelings for Zack interfere with my life and my relationship that I was building with Chester, but it came crumbling down in the end. I knew I wasn't going to tell him, there would be no way. I couldn't imagine causing him that type of pain, even though I felt worse having to hide it from him. I dropped to my knees on the floor, screaming and pleading to the sky why this had to happen to me. I slammed my fists into the pavement causing my knuckles to split open and bleed all over. I ignored the pain as they started to swell the more I pounded them into the hard ground. It must have been a few good minutes that I had been gone, because eventually I had found Mike wandering around probably looking for me.

I got up hurriedly from off the floor, wiping my eyes on my sweater sleeve and trying my best to remain calm. I casually walked over to him, keeping my view glued to the floor. "Hey, it's about time for us to play. Are you alright? Oh fuck, Teegan, your hand is bleeding." I tried to play it off as if I accidentally caught it on something, but I could tell from the look on his face, he wasn't buying it. "I can tell you were punching with it by the way its bruised. I won't ask any personal questions, but whatever it is that's upsetting you, you're not in this alone. We're all here for you, Teegan." I let out a small breath of air before hugging onto his side. "That really means a lot to me, Mike. I really appreciate it. Thank you so much. But lets get going, I'm sure Chester is woried sick about me by now."

(Chester's POV)

I anxiously paced up and down the hallway, wondering about where Teegan had gone off to. I figured she had probably went to see the guys and say their goodbyes, but no one had seen her since she was in the front taking photos. My stress level was rapidly increasing until I eventually saw her come into view from a distance. I took her into my arms as she neared closer, kissing the top of her head. "I was worried about you. Where'd you go babe?" Luckily Mike stepped in and answered for her before I could say anything else. "She was on the bus changing out her camera memory and stuff. Said she loss track of time." He smiled, patting her arm as he walked by. I looked down at her, she buried her face into my chest. "I lost track of time babe. I'm really sorry." Her voice was muffled but I could tell she had a certain off tone. Deciding not to make a big issue out of it as it honestly was nothing to be upset about, I hugged her tightly against me. "I'll be down there before you know it. I love you, Chester. Go put on a killer show like you always do babe." I titled her face up with my hand, kissing her lips. "I love you too. I'll be looking out at you." She smiled at me, I immediately noticed that her eyes were red and irritated. "I'm fine, promise. I just am going to miss them. Now go." She reassured me. I hesitated but gave in and let her be as we prepared to go on stage.

The crowd was more ready riled up than usual, their energy and excitement flowing through me. We played a few heavy songs, a few songs off the new record, and finally decided to play a slower song to calm things down. As we started off 'My December' the room filled with screams and cheers, lighters and phones going high in the air. I glanced over at Teegan as I sang, suddenly noticing that she was in tears as she held up her camera. I could see her hand was purple and badly bruised, only making me feel even more on edge. My instincts were telling me to run off and comfort her, but I knew I had a job to do as did she. I tried to not let it distract me as we finished, but it wasn't an easy task to do. She cried throughout the entire ending of the set.

I felt a knot twist in my stomach as I watched her, I knew she was upset. I knew she was going to miss her friends. But I wanted her to know that I was going to be there for her and that I loved her and would be ready and willing to listen whenever she was ready to open up.

(Teegan's POV)

I knew it was a lost cause then about hiding my emotions as I about broke down during 'My December' and the rest of their set. I saw Chester stare at me, a mix of concern and worry spread across his face. I switched my hands as I was sure he had probably noticed the horrible bruising I had caused myself. Oddly enough, that song, it was mine and Zacky's song. I used to listen to it whenever we had to be seperated during Christmas or his birthday. What made it even harder was that they were watching Linkin Park's set the entire time and I noticed Zacky sing the words, tears evident in his eyes too. I felt like my world was falling apart right in front of me, feeling nothing but an empty hole in my aching heart. Thinking back to the moment we had in the dressing room, tore me to pieces. It only hurt and confused me more than I already was. Especially because I knew it was probably the last time that I was ever going to have that kind of anything with Zacky ever again.

I knew I would have to answer to Chester after we got back on the road but thankfully he assumed that it was more than likely because I was going to miss the guys. And he was right, I was missing them. But I knew deep in my heart, I was really missing Zacky.