Four Word Sentence

She sighed as she opened up her messenger on her phone.

Oh, he's online.

She thought as she feigned surprise. Of course he was online. He was always online. She hesitantly and slowly began to type.

I miss you.

She shook her head and quickly backspaced and deleted everything. She stared at the screen and tried once more.

I'm thinking of you.

Her eyes widened.

That's even worse!

She quickly deleted everything once more. She thought maybe she should slowly ease into it. It had been a week, so she thought it was about time to strike up a conversation with him. On the other hand, it had only been a week. Only been a week since he ended it. Only been a week since he turned her life completely upside down.

She shook her head to clear her thoughts. She didn't want to dwell on that last bit. She already spent that whole week doing just that and trying to get her life back on track since then.

I left my loofah at your place.

She mentally smacked herself at that. That wasn't a way to ease into the conversation. That was a way to get him to completely ignore her message, maybe even just throw away her loofah and other toiletries she left behind at his place whenever he got the chance. She deleted the message, suffice to say.

She tapped her fingers on the back of her cellphone as she thought of what to say. The more she tapped, the more she thought back to their last conversation.

"Are you happy?"

"Of course I'm happy. Why? Does it not seem like it?"

He didn't bother to answer her questions, but spoke up anyway. "Because I'm not really."

That was like a slap to her face.

And before she realized what she was doing, she had typed up another sentence.

Why weren't you happy?

She wasn't so quick to delete this message this time. She legitimately wanted to know. She wanted to know why he wasn't happy with her like she was happy with him. She wanted to know if he was ever happy with her in the first place. She wanted to know so many things and she felt that that sentence was a good starting point. It probably wasn't the most subtle way to start a conversation, but it sure was a direct and forward way.

She thought she had found the perfect sentence to start a conversation. If only she could will herself to actually press send. She found it was harder to actually go through with the action. She began to second guess herself and thought of the backlash she could receive.

He could get mad at me. He could be furious for bugging him like this. He could hate me for bringing this up. For bringing up his unhappiness. For reminding him that I even made him unhappy.

Her hesitance only grew and she began to slowly backspace and delete her sentence. The thing that constantly plagued her head day and night was put into that four word sentence and she didn't realize it until that very moment.

When the sentence was completely deleted, she wondered if he could see her typing. If he could see the bubble with the three gray dots blinking away on his screen. Of course he could only see the dots if he was actually looking at their conversation like she had found herself doing multiple times a days. The more she thought of it, the more she found that idea very unlikely. And that alone heightened her sadness at the whole situation. It was a reminder to her that she cared more for him than she believed he cared for her.

She sighed when the little message above his name changed from active to active a couple of minutes ago. She realized she had missed a lot more things than this chance to talk to him. She missed him.