Paper Hearts

Erwin was surprised at the number of people who visited the bookstore today.

He had a busy day, full of making sales, returning rejected books and talking to customers.

He was grateful for the reprieve which he used to catch up on his own reading.

He had just gotten to an exciting paragraph when the door opened, sending forth the fresh scent of coffee along with the not so fresh smell of his good friend, Hanji Zoë.

“Hey, Erwin!” She called out, skipping to the counter. “Today is a beautiful day, don't you think?”

She set the coffee down, then released her long greasy hair from its holder.

“Hanji, I take you had a productive day at the lab?”

Hanji was a science major at the local college Erwin used to attend.

He had to stop, so he could dedicate all his time to help run the family store when his dad got sick.

“Hmm.” Hanji hummed as she took a sip of coffee. “It was. I think I may have scared Berner off my tail for good after these past three days, but getting my thesis done a month in advance was worth it.” She eyed the notebook next to the register and with the speed similar to a rattlesnake, she swiped it.

“Hanji!” Erwin yelled as he reached for her, almost spilling the coffee everywhere.

“Did you have another dream?” She asked, opening the notebook. “It's the only time I ever see this out.”

Erwin sighed and took a sip of his own coffee.

“I had one last night. It's the first dream, when we first meet.” Hanji nodded. She knew all about the dreams. Erwin had needed someone to confide in and she never judged him. She listened intently, her eyes always serious behind her smudged glasses.

“Have you ever stopped to consider that maybe these aren't just dreams?” She asked, returning the notebook.

Erwin scoffed, shaking his head as he grabbed the notebook back.

“There's no way that they are anything else. This man...Levi, he's nothing but a figment of my imagination.” Erwin cringed at how awful those words tasted coming out. Levi didn't exist, He wasn't real. “Besides, if he did, what if he's on the other side of the world or already married with a family?” Erwin took another sip of coffee. “What chance do we have of being together if the man in my dreams is real?”

“Erwin, you don't think that maybe, just maybe, he's having similar dreams about you?” She asked, leaning against the counter, the contents of her white lab coats pockets clanging together.

“No.” He answered sharply in a tone Hanji knew all too well. For a few seconds, neither of them moved. Erwin exhaled sharply, looking up into Hanji’s wide eyes. She gave a small smile, accepting his unspoken apology.

“I just worry about you, Erwin. You're one of the most amazing people I've ever met. You're so selfless, always making sacrifices so you can help the ones you love.”

She backed away, going around the counter towards the back door and the entrance into Erwin's and his father's small home.

“You deserve happiness as well. If anyone deserves it, it's you Commander.”

That was able to pull a laugh from Erwin, despite the tears pooling in his eyes.

“Okay, that's the last time I let you pick out my Halloween costume. When is that lame joke going to die? First it was Captain America, now I'm a Commander?”

Hanji shrugged her shoulders.

“What can I say,” she laughed. “I think Commander suits you.” She motioned towards the door. “Mind if I shower?” She asked.

Erwin shook his head.

“No, go ahead but don't wake the old man, please.”

She gave him a salute and disappeared.

He sighed softly, looking back down at his small notebook.

Despite knowing that Hanji meant well, he always hated the feeling he got when she brought up Levi. He was nothing but a ghost of his mind, a spector.

Erwin wiped the tears that fell. He took a deep breath and opened the notebook to his favorite sketch.

In the dream, he and Levi had just finished dispatching an evil witch. It was just about dawn and Erwin led Levi to a small hill to watch the sunrise.

They sat next to each other and as soon as the sun broke the horizon, Erwin turned to Levi.

There was a small smile on his face that made Erwin's heart melt. It was the first time that he had ever seen Levi smile. Erwin smiled as well, before returning his gaze to the sunrise.

Erwin opened his eyes, the memory returning to the depths of his mind. He looked up when the bell over the entranced chimed and he hastily moved the coffee aside as he greeted a customer that came in, the smile on his face not reaching high enough to brush the sadness from his eyes.

/\

It was an hour to closing and Erwin was taking this time to return all the misplaced books he could find.

He always enjoyed this time of the day, he was able to be left alone with his thoughts, as lonesome as they may be.

He was always brought back to the deep abyss that was Levi’s eyes. Erwin always looked Levi in the eyes. He allowed his gaze to wander to his pale lips, or scarred chest, but his eyes were always his favorite.

He watched as they reacted to him, how they darkened with lust or how they lit up when Erwin would read to him. Levi’s face was a brick wall, but his eyes were as open at an atrium, ever flowing with emotion and feeling.

Erwin would returned the small gesture, allowing his own eyes to reveal how he really felt but never more. He wanted to express his feelings, his true feeling but he couldn't.

There was a lot of responsibility to being a man of God.

The bell chimed loudly, ripping him from his thoughts.

He heard his dad call out to the patron and Erwin went back to what he was doing.

He didn't feel like dealing with customers anymore, not after this emotional day.

He heard his dad call out to him so he called back.

He caught sight of someone in his peripheral vision, pale skin and dark hair.

He turned fully, catching a small glimpse of the man as he ran out of the bookstore like all of He'll was at his heels.

Erwin saw him, though. He saw the man's face and he couldn't believe it.

He couldn't be real, he just couldn't.

“Was that you, Levi?”

/\

Erwin laid in bed, absolutely restless.

He had looked at every sketch he had ever done of Levi and he couldn't deny it anymore.

The man he saw in the store was, without a doubt, Levi.

He had to think of what he was going to do.

How would he begin to find him? Where would he even look?

Erwin decided that he had to start at least looking. He would search this entire city of he had to. He had caught a glimpse of the man he had only thought existed in his mind.

Now that Erwin learned differently, he couldn't stay away.

He had to find him.

/\

Erwin didn't sleep at all that night.

He could only think about finding Levi.

He got up before his dad, running to the front of the store to use the phone.

He dialed Hanji’s number, praying that she was up.

“Yo!” She answered loudly, the sounds of explosions faint in the background.

“Hanji! I need you to cover for me at the store today.”

Hanji blew a raspberry, followed by swearing.

“Dammit, Moblit! You're supposed to have my back!” Erwin gave an annoyed sigh before trying to bring her attention back to him.

“Hanji! I saw him! Levi is real!”

Erwin heard a man’s voice cry out in pain then silence.

“What did you say?” Hanji asked.

“Levi. He came into the bookstore. He ran off before I could get a good look at him but I know it's him.” Erwin looked back toward the door. His father would be getting up soon. “I'm going to look for him, but I need you to help the old man here at the store. Can you do it?”

Hanji could be heard walking back to the sound of game music but it was cut off abruptly.

“Moblit, change of plans. I have something I have to do. We can continue this later.” He heard the man agree and then the sound of a slap. “That man had such a cute ass.” Erwin clenched his eyes and shook his head. He wanted to laugh, but he was too keyed up. “Okay Commander. I am at your service.”

Erwin released a sigh of relief.

“Thank you. Thank you so much, Hanji.”

/\

Hanji showed up thirty minutes before the store opened.

Erwin already had coffee and breakfast made for his dad when he went to let her in.

“Hey,” He greeted her in a hushed voice. “If the old man asks, I asked you to cover for me because I was going to look for some more book donations.”

Hanji gave Erwin a look.

“You aren't telling him the truth? That's not like you.”

Erwin sighed.

“I know that. I can't tell him this though. I can't tell him I'm going out to chase after someone I've only dreamt about.”

Hanji gave a soft laugh.

“Yea, I guess you're right about that.” She draped her arm around Erwin's shoulder. “Now, how's about you make me some breakfast.”

He laughed and nodded.

“I can do that, Hanji.” They both went to the back and Erwin got started on her breakfast as Hanji went to sit with his dad.

He heard them talking about different theories and things that just went over Erwin's head. He remembered that He used to joke with his dad, saying that Hanji should have been his child.

He served Hanji her breakfast and coffee, standing next to her and joining in the conversation.

When the time came for the store to open, he and Hanji walked to the front.

“Okay, I'm not expecting results but if something happens, you'll be the first person I call.”

Hanji jumped up excitedly.

“Erwin! This is it! I can feel it! You're going to find him.” Hanji had her mad scientist look so he knew not to argue.

“We'll see.” he waved as He walked out, running right into someone. “Oh god I am…”

His eyes widened as he looked down into steel eyes.

Levi felt his heart speed up in his chest as he looked up into Erwin's blue eyes.

“I...It…” Erwin could barely speak. Levi was likewise speechless.

“It’s you.” the shorter man finally choked out. “Erwin.”

Erwin felt his heartbeat quicken. It was actually him. His eyes, his voice. It was all so clear.

“Levi.”