Meant to Be

Bucky drew in a slow, deep breath. It took him a moment to gradually pry his eyelids open. They were so heavy it felt like they had been taped shut. He let out a rough breath, shifting his aching body. As his focus sharpened, he took in the details of his environment.

Two points of entry: one door, one window; ground floor level, three life-sustaining machines, one fire extinguisher, one metal window blind chain, zero hideaways, zero deadly weapons, zero hostiles-

“Steve?” Bucky whispered, his voice husky and tired. He smacked his chapped lips together. Steve’s eyes opened quickly and he snapped to attention in his seat.

“Buck,” he said. “How do you feel?” Bucky swallowed hard. His dry throat stung. His bones felt stiff. His muscles were sore.

“I feel like I got hit by a truck,” he said with a breathy laugh. He looked down at his arms.

He had a new, gleaming, silver left arm, and embedded into his right wrist was a metal implant. Taking in another breath, Bucky flexed the fingers in his right hand, recalling the familiar feeling from what felt like so long ago. The metal joints clicked with electricity as they stretched.

“It worked,” he affirmed. Steve smiled.

“I’m glad to hear it.”

“How long was I under?” Steve’s smile faltered slightly.

“You went under seven days ago.” Bucky raised his eyebrows in surprise, but smiled.

“Well… I’d say that’s better than my usual track record,” he joked. Steve seemed apprehensive; nervous.

“I’ll tell the doctors you’re up.” Steve got up and moved to go.

“Steve,” Bucky said quietly, halting him. Steve waited expectantly. “Don’t forget you promised you would fill me in.”

He tilted his head and quickly said, “About what?” Bucky paused before replying.

“About what happened between you and Tony before I went into surgery.” Steve shook his head quickly.

“Right, of course. I know. I will.”

Indirect eye contact, unsteady vibrato, uncomfortable body language-

“What happened while I was asleep?” Bucky asked more loudly. Steve shrugged, shaking his head.

“Nothing, Buck.” Steve gave him a smile and headed out to the halls. “I’ll be right back.”

As if that was enough to convince Bucky.

Bucky’s thoughts began to run- his imagination spun and pictured the worst possible problems that he and Steve might be facing right now.

Bucky narrowed his eyes and furrowed his brows at Steve’s silhouette through the door. He pulled several tubes from his arm and took the heart monitor from his finger. He ignored the screaming pains that wracked his body. His face was stoney and unfazed.

Bucky dragged himself up and out of bed, groaning with the exertion. A cloud of black blinded him and he nearly lost control of his shaky legs, but he pushed through the pain and headed towards the door.

He pulled the heavy door open with difficulty because of his tender muscles. When he was able to open it fully, he fell through the doorway. He stumbled into the far wall with a thud, feeling like the air had been knocked out of him. He looked down the hallway where Steve had gone.

Steve stood with a woman, his back to Bucky. Steve’s hands were placed upon her shoulders, though his frame blocked her own. In between his legs, he saw her bare legs wearing jean shorts and red tennis shoes. Her right leg, however, was a mass of chilly metal.

This sight brought back a memory of the scene he had observed the day of his surgery: Steve, wounded; Stark pressed against the wall; a flash of silver between Stark and the wall.

As Bucky’s memory clicked into place, the woman’s head poked around Steve’s shoulder. She was tanned with glimmering, hazel eyes and long, thick, brown hair. Now that he saw her face, he realized that this was the same woman on the operating table the other week- the other candidate for Stark’s new prosthetics.

Bucky swallowed hard as they held each other’s eye contact. She gaped at him as he breathed heavily, leaned against the wall in his hospital gown. He wore a look of confusion that made the woman pity him. Her face twisted into a frown.

Bucky felt a memory scratching at the back of his mind. Her eyes were suddenly so familiar.

’Please, I don’t want to die-’

Bucky closed his eyes tightly as a wave of emotion struck him.

“Oh, no,” he whispered. Falling from the sky, Steve drowning, hiding himself away to stitch up and heal his own wounds alone. He pressed a closed fist into his temple, grinding his teeth together tightly. His muscles couldn’t hold him up any longer and he slid to the floor in a heap.

“Bucky.” Steve’s voice was in front of him. Bucky hadn’t even heard him move from his previous spot.

“That girl.”

“It’s okay, Bucky, breathe.” Bucky’s mind spun and his head ached sharply.

“I know her.”

“Sergeant Barnes, it’s okay,” the woman sang sweetly. Her voice was clean and kind, and he felt so undeserving. “I shouldn’t have surprised you like that- Steve warned me.” Bucky opened his eyes to look at hers again.

“I know you,” he repeated. The woman nodded.

“We met once,” she said quietly. She looked up at Steve, who was also kneeling in front of Bucky. “You saved my life, Sergeant Barnes.” She looked back to him and put both hands on Bucky’s fists- one on his leg and the other on his head. Her skin was warm and soft, while his was cold and rough. “You can relax, Sergeant, it’s okay” Bucky’s breathing evened out and he relaxed his jaw and fists. He let the woman guide his hands to his lap.

He felt as though the world had paused.

His whole world stopped moving for just a few moments, until Steve gripped onto Bucky’s back and arm, pulling him up from the ground. Bucky suddenly noticed the crowd of nurses and doctors that had come while Bucky had his attack. Steve led Bucky back to his room and put him back in his bed. The doctors followed them from the hall and began to reattach tubes and wires as Bucky got comfortable again. He was able to breathe a sigh of relief as he felt his dizziness pass and his pains begin to dull.

“Sorry,” he muttered, closing his tired eyes. Even though he had just woken up after seven days, it felt like he needed to sleep for another seven before he could exert his strength again.

“Don’t be. I should have told you from the start,” Steve said calmly, sitting back down in his chair. Bucky opened his eyes to look for the woman. He found her standing in the door. She looked at the two men timidly with crossed arms, leaning against the door frame. She gave Bucky a shy smile, biting her lip and heading back into the hallway.

Bucky replayed this action in his head as he closed his eyes. She smiled and bit her lip. She smiled and bit her lip. She smiled-

“You will need plenty of rest for the next few days, Sergeant Barnes. It looks like you may have pulled some of your stitches, so we’ll get those fixed for you today.” Bucky nodded and didn’t flinch as the doctors poked and prodded him. “In a few days, we’ll send in a physical therapist to make sure the prosthetic and the implants are working fine. And, if you don’t mind, Mr. Stark insists that you meet with a psychotherapist at least once more before you are discharged.” Bucky nodded again, not speaking again. He closed his eyes and felt his body begin to fall back into a deep sleep.

She smiled and bit her lip. She smiled and bit her lip. She smiled and bit her lip.