Meant to Be

“The nerves and insulation were severed, but the nerves were never fixed,” the doctor described, pointing to the graphic emitted from Tony’s phone. “So, the growing nerve fibers became something called a neuroma.” The graphic showed Chick’s full-body X-ray, zoomed in on her amputated leg and the remaining nerves that travelled through her thigh.

“So much technical shit,” Tony interjected. “It’s a nerve scar. You have a lot of them. Obviously, I didn’t need to tell you that, you know you’re in pain.”

That night, when Tony had come back from his meeting, he shook Chick out of her medicated state and tried to get an answer out of her. When she was still on the fence, he figured she might need more information. The doctor was explaining what happened to her nerves after her leg was amputated.

“It’s no one’s fault, really, Ms. Abbott. Sometimes it happens. But, we can fix it. Mr. Stark’s new technology can help you regrow your nerves, and make you stronger, faster, and more agile than ever.”

“That sounds fake to me,” Chick retorted skeptically, looking between the doctor and Tony. “This all sounds impossible.” Chick rubbed her hands down her tired face. Tony continued to talk.

“Listen, what made Barnes’s arm so amazing was that the electronics were wired into his nerves. That’s how he was able to use it so easily, as if he had never lost his arm in the first place.” He moved towards her excitedly. “It’s not magic, it’s science.” Chick bit down on her lower lip.

“So,” he continued. “We’re going to electrically rewrite your peripheral nervous system to fix the way your nerves send messages to the brain, starting in your legs, then moving up to the spine, and your wrists. We’ll sew the synthetic insulation together so that your remaining nerves have the chance to connect to the artificial nerves we’re implanting. And, once your leg is done, we’ll implant the mechanical extension into the base of your spine, which will connect the nerves in your whole body. You won’t just get a prosthetic. This leg will act and feel like the leg you were born with.”

“And, when we fix the nerves in your leg, you won’t feel anymore pain,” the doctor added.

Chick’s heart fluttered at that thought.

“But, I thought you were just giving me a leg? Why are you going to do surgery on my spine and my arms, too?” she asked, still reeling from all of this new information.

Tony expanded the view of the wristlets and the spinal implant on the 3D image to point to.

“The left ankle and wrist extensions will give you the same strength you’ll feel in your leg. This will balance you out- make you feel less like a cyborg, more like a human. Just… you know, an enhanced human. Without these extensions, you’ll be unbalanced like the Soldier was.” Chick took in a deep breath, letting it out slowly and shaking her head, staring at her lonely foot under the covers.

“It just sounds… too good.” She looked at the doctor and Tony cautiously. “What are the risks? There has to be risks.”

“It will be a 3-4 week recovery,” the doctor began. Tony started talking before he had the chance to continue further.

“It’s just time your nerves will need to heal again. You’ll have some pins and needles for a few weeks, but that’s it.”

“Mr. Stark,” the doctor said quietly. Tony looked at him silently for a moment.

“What?” Chick asked fearfully. Tony sighed.

“It’s nothing serious. There’s little to no chance of it happening.”

The doctor looked at Chick with soft eyes.

“Once everything has been installed,” he said. “We will need to induce a heavy shock in order to fuse the technology with your nervous system. The result could mean permanent nerve damage.”

“What do you mean?” Chick squeaked.

“You could be in constant pain for the rest of your life,” the doctor said stoically.

“Or,” Tony chimed. “You could feel no pain, ever again.”

“Literally, no pain, no temperature change. It could change your life,” the doctor added quickly. “There’s a small chance that nerve damage could occur, but it is a risk you need to be aware of before you agree to this procedure.” Chick gnawed at her lip, furrowing her brows with anxiety.

“Boss,” FRIDAY said through Tony’s phone, interrupting the discussion. “Sensors picked up movement outside. Localized to the outskirts of the property. Your visitors have trust issues.” Tony looked at Chick.

“So, should we fit you for a new prosthetic? Or are you ready for an upgrade?”

“You could feel no pain, ever again.”

Chick let out a shaky breath.

“Okay,” she stated quietly. “I’m in,” she agreed, trying to assert herself with more assuredness. Tony gave her a confident grin.

“Surgery’s in an hour.” The doctor gave her a cautious smile and followed Tony out.

Chick let out another fearful sigh, reaching for her morphine and clicking it as high as it would go. As she fell back asleep, she saw the white posters on the fence of the construction site on her street.

‘Death to false gods!’

She felt her heart pick up with fear. But, she felt no pain.

She watched the Winter Soldier and Captain America fall from the sky with the final HYDRA ship. Watched the soaking wet Soldier leave the woods and stare her down. Watched him walk away from her as she lay dying; screaming and crying for help.

Her hope, fading for good. His hesitation to turn back around. His hollow eyes, begging to forget.

“Please,” she begged. “I don’t want to die,” she sobbed.

He walked towards her, reaching out his metal arm and lifting the heavy steel rigging off of her leg like it was nothing. Blood poured from the leg freely, and she felt a rush of blood flow back to the numbed limb. She screamed, grabbing his leg subconsciously. The pain was unbearable. She had never been so scared. She tried to move and shift her weight to make it hurt less, but she heard her bone crack and snap, causing her screams to grow.

As she cried, the Soldier bent down to her level and tore at a ripped piece of her clothing. It ran along the length of her waist. Her dark blue uniform was shredded and stained beyond repair. The Soldier tightly tied the piece of cloth around her leg as a turnequette.

Chick clutched her fist around a hook in his vest, trying to create some sort of closeness to him. She looked down at his busy hands, and saw the extent of the damage.

She wished she hadn’t.

Her leg was shredded from the middle of her right thigh, down. She saw exposed bones sticking through her skin. The leg was hanging on by a piece of muscle on the outside of her leg. Blood pooled around her.

She felt nauseous and dizzy, closing her eyes and leaning her head back. She fought back vomit and more sobs. She opened her eyes and saw his own bright blue eyes staring down at her.

“Am I- I going to d-die?” she whimpered, feeling cold. The Soldier said nothing, taking her hand in his, and pulled her fingers away from his vest forcefully. “Wait,” she said, panicking as he stood up. “P-Please!” He turned and walked away, leaving her there alone. “Come back, please!” she screamed, straining her voice. “You can’t just leave me!"

The soldier stopped in his tracks. She saw his shoulders begin to shake, his head dipped down, hunching his shoulders as he shook.

“Please.” Tears raced from her eyes. “Please.” Suddenly she heard a noise coming from the Soldier’s direction, but she couldn’t believe it.

He was laughing.

The sound was chilling. It made Chick’s blood turn cold and her breathing halt.

“Please,” she whimpered helplessly.

The Soldier turned back to her slowly. His face was twisted in a disgusting grin. He had yellow teeth and blood shot eyes. He took three, large steps to quickly close the distance between them.

“No!” Chick screamed.

He threw his metal arm towards her leg, grabbing onto the hanging appendage and ripped it away forcefully, tearing away at her flesh, laughing wildly, tossing it aside. Chick screamed in pain and fear.

“Wake up!” he screamed at her. His grin widening as he spoke. He shrieked with laughter. “Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!”

Chick opened her eyes with a start. She took in a deep, rattling breath and looked around her.

Tony sat next to her in the chair, holding the morphine control, continuing to click the button to lower the dose.

Chick breathed heavily, staring and waiting for him to speak because she couldn’t.

“You were in deep. You were mumbling. Wanna talk to someone else about it?” She struggled to speak. Struggled to forget her nightmare.

She had never had that one before.

“Promise me I won’t become the Winter Soldier,” she stuttered clumsily. “Promise me that’s not what this is.” Chick gripped onto the bed sheets, trying to calm her breathing.

Tony’s expression was tranquil. He didn’t say anything as he held Chick’s eye contact. Chick found it helping her breathe easier. She let her shoulders relax and let go of the blanket.

“I promise- that’s not what this is,” Tony said finally, genuinely. Chick sniffled and nodded.

“Okay.” Tony leaned his lower arms onto her bed, just next to her.

“Are you ready?” Chick gulped.

“I-I’ve been asleep for an hour?” Tony nodded. “Wow.” Tony nodded again.

“What do you say?” Chick pressed her lips together.

“How long will I be out?”

“A couple of days. It’s a hell of a process. You won’t want to be awake for it.” Chick raised her eyebrows in surprise. “Don’t worry, we’ll take good care of you. I’ll change your pajamas personally.” Chick lowered her brows and stared at him flatly.

“Do you know how to turn it off?”

“Being irresistable? No,” he said, standing up. Chick rolled her eyes. “I’ll see you in a couple days, Robocop.” Chick shook her head, doing her best to stop the smile that threatened to grow. When Tony left, the nurses and doctor came in.

“You ready, Ms. Abbott?” the doctor asked optimistically. The nurses started unhooking her from several machines and getting her ready for transport.

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” she replied with a small smirk.