Stopped His World

“I don’t even know why I agreed to come,” I muttered into my phone, letting my annoyance drop into my voice. “He hasn’t said one work to me since I got here.”

I could feel my best friend roll her eyes at me, even though we were 1,400 miles apart and I couldn’t see her. “I don’t know what you tell ya, babe. I can only tell you to dump him so many times before I start to sound like a broken record.”

I leaned my head back against the cool brick wall, letting the muffled music and laughter from the bar calm me and bring me out of my own head. “I know, trust me, I get it. And I’m trying to get the balls to actually break it off, but it’s hard. I put so much into this relationship and I feel like I failed, Nic.”

Nicole cooed, “Honey, you didn’t fail. He did. You shouldn’t be the only one trying to build something between you, that’s not how it’s supposed to work.”

“I just-,” I sighed. “God, Nic. Three years. I have been doing this for fucking three years.”

“Trust me, I know. I’ve had to listen to this shit for three fucking years,” she mumbled.

I frowned at the sidewalk, letting my silence tell her how I felt.

“I’m sorry, Elle. I just- I know you don’t want to be like your parents, but I’m sorry to tell you this, you’re being exactly like them. They fought constantly, and if they were strong enough, they would’ve just stopped it and moved on from one another. You’re not being them by not fighting with him. You’re being them by staying with him. You’re not happy. You haven’t been happy since you met him-“

“He hasn’t always been like this!” I defended, interrupting her.

“I don’t mean Luke, babe. Sidney. You haven’t bee content with Luck since you’ve met Sidney. And that was over a year ago.”

I grumbled, not liking where the conversation was headed, especially since Sid was also in the bar I had abandoned in a desperate attempt to get away from what had become my life – being ignored by a group of people I didn’t even like.

Sidney Crosby, hockey God.

Of course, I had no idea who he was when I first met him in a Pittsburg Barnes and Noble. Being from Texas, ice hockey was never really big growing up. It was all about football in my family, at least for the majority of my life, and while I had heard whisperings of Crosby and all of his glory, I never paid much attention to actually care. But Luke had gotten Penguin tickets for a meeting with a client and his wife as a double date, and in a scramble to make a good impression and not utterly embarrass myself or Luke, I went to pick up a hockey book for dummies. Little did I know, of course, that Pittsburg’s golden boy was standing next to me while I groaned and grumbled about how stupid the sport was and the only entertainment it held was when the players fell on the ice.

He took it all in stride, thankfully, and offered to give me a crash course during lunch before the game the next day. From then on, he had become one of my closest friends here, our love of binge-watching Netflix shows resulting in many fun nights when Luke ditched me for some reason or another.

Our friendship was simple. Easy. A saving grace in the middle of grad school, a failing relationship, and a murky future. We didn’t talk about anything too deep, the conversation never delving into topics about Luke, hockey, or anything more than what was happening to us in the present. I loved it. I didn’t want to lose it.

I didn’t know he was going to be here tonight, as he didn’t usually frequent the bar scene. When I saw him walk through the door, though, the only thing I wanted to do was ditch Luke and his insufferable friends to hang out with him and his teammates.

The worst part was that he knew I was there as well, but in an effort to not cause problems with Luke, wouldn’t talk to him. It was no secret that Luke and Sid didn’t like each other, and I tried way too hard to make sure they rarely crossed paths.

The sound of Nicole laughing brought me out of my thoughts. “I’m sorry, what?”

She laughed again. “Nothing, Charles is trying to make a late night snack and is failing miserably.”

I smiled to myself when I heard Charles grumble in the background, causing Nicole to giggle again. A familiar pang of jealousy flashed through my heart before I could suppress it. I would give anything to have the easy and strong relationship they had. They rarely ever fought, and when they did, both of them were determined to talk it out before it festered into something bigger.

“Nic, I better get back.” I groaned, looked down the street and wishing I could make an escape back to my apartment.

There was a surprised shout and the sound of rustling before Charles’ deep voice sounded on the line. “Eliza-“

I huffed and interrupted him. “Not my name.”

He chuckled. “Whatever. Anyways, dump his ass, Eliza. Tonight. If you don’t, so help me I will be on the first flight out there tomorrow morning and I will do it for you.”

“I don’t think it actually works that way, Chuck,” I stated, using the nickname he hated more than I did when he called me Eliza.

He growled. “I don’t care. He doesn’t make you happy, that means he needs to go. I’m not above using my best friend privileges to break up with him for you and drag your ass back to California to live with me and Nic. I should have done it the first time the prick pulled his usual crap. I don’t like him. You don’t even like him. I don’t know why it’s so hard.”

I sighed and looked up at the neon sign hanging about my head. “Okay, okay. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

I didn’t wait for a response before hanging up and walking back into the bar, making a beeline towards my table and using all of my self control to not look in the direction I last saw Sidney. I moved slowly – biding my time before I actually got to my destination, my stomach feeling like lead the entire way.

I let myself study Luke during that time, not being able to find a single thing about him attractive – not like I did before. He was a good looking guy, anyone with eyes could see that, but knowing just how much gel when into his hair and the way his face scrunched up in anger at the stupidest little things – my heart didn’t skip a beat anymore. My palms didn’t get sweaty, my mind didn’t race, and my stomach certainly didn’t fill with butterflies.

I knew I could never love Luke, maybe that was why I had let myself be treated this way for so long. He was easy to be with because he could never really hurt me – not the way Sidney could.

Luke never looked up as I walked back to him. He kept his eyes on his friends, not even looking around to see where I was. I couldn’t stop the eye-roll when I saw a full glass of white wine on the table where I was sitting. I didn’t like wine. I never have, but just because it was the more lady like drink, as opposed to my whiskey, Luke felt I should drink it in front of company. In a split-second decision, I altered my course, making my way to the crowded bar.