Nothing Without You

I took a few sips of wine before beginning this awful conversation. Explaining my life was a lot harder than I thought it would be. I barely knew where to begin. "Well, where should I start?"

"Tell me what happened with Damon." He said, and I thought I might have heard the smallest bit of jealousy, but I wrote it off as just being in my head and moved on.

"I met Damon through Elena. I was good friends with her and Bonnie and Caroline in school. Things changed when she started dating Stefan." I loved Stefan like a brother, but part of me wished he'd never met Elena. It was the start of a lot of problems for a lot of people. "But I remember the night I met Damon. I went to Elena's house, we were just going to hang out and watch movies like normal, but Damon showed up. He walked in with this confidence and charm and I was already interested." He'd walked into her house with some snarky comment and he'd looked my up and down. He introduced himself, and although Elena had told him to leave, he ignored her to talk to me. He seemed so dangerous and interesting, I couldn't help but find him intriguing. "We started coming up with excuses to go to Elena's house, we'd often see each other there. We didn't know we'd both planned that until later when we started seeing each other." I didn't want to go into detail about it, but he'd gotten me alone one night, he told me how pretty I was and how much he liked me. He didn't know a lot about me, but he was apparently enamored, from what he said. We kissed that night and it was a done deal from there. "When we started seeing each other, we kept it a secret for a long time. I didn't want to deal with what would happen if anyone found out, until at some point it just got really serious. It wasn't this fun, secretive, thrilling thing anymore. It turned into a real relationship and we just stopped hiding it. Everyone was angry, they all told me how stupid I was for being with him, they tried to talk me out of it. But I was too stubborn. Nothing they could have said would have changed my mind."

"Were they right?" I'd asked myself that question a thousand times.

"Yeah. They didn't know how bad it would be, but they were right." I shrugged, trying not to get angry as I thought about the next part. "We were fine, people finally quit badgering me about it, and things were great. But one day he happened to find out that I'm not just a regular person like Caroline or Matt. He, like you right now, learned that I am a necromancer."

"A necromancer? What does that entail?" He was wonderfully interested at this point, this was the sole reason he wanted me to get my memory in the first place.

"Well, long story short, I can talk to and even raise the dead. It comes with the immortality tag, but there are rules." I warned, just as I'd warned Damon. "I cannot raise anyone that has been dead for more than one year, it's an ancient tradition. When that tradition is broken, consequences come with it." I remembered my mother telling me all of this. She was a necromancer too, but, like most of us, she was killed. "And the immortality also comes with the price of a human body. I can be killed just as easily as any mortal that walks the streets, but if I can avoid it, I won't age or die naturally." That part always freaked me out. I would never die of natural causes, I would never be an old woman that dies peacefully in her sleep. "That's why there are so few of us. There are many groups of people out there that dedicate their lives to killing necromancers. There are very few left, both of my parents are gone now, my daughter too."

"Tell me about her. Emily, is it?" He had a look of concern on his face, and I knew he was just imagining how he'd feel if something happened to Hope.

"Well, let me start that with when Damon left me." I sighed, trying to keep my composure. "Damon found out about the necromancy and he freaked out. He was scared, I think, because he knew people were after me. He was angry I hadn't told him, and he left. He said he needed time to think, but next thing I knew he was sleeping with Elena behind Stefan's back." Klaus' face looked full of disgust, much like what mine looked like when I found out. "I left Mystic Falls and went to my old village where I was born. I stayed with my aunt for a while, and she talked me into going on a date with this guy who'd just never left. He was a bit older than me, probably about 25, and I ended up getting along with him. He taught me a lot about necromancy, he taught me, in theory, how to raise an army of the dead if I ever needed one. His name was Will." It made me sad to think about him, but he was such an important piece of my life, it was hard to forget. "Honestly, neither of us had any intentions of being romantic. We just got drunk one night and one thing lead to another. It only happened once, and we didn't end up in a relationship or even being weird with each other after it. We just forgot it and stayed friends. But that was whenI ended up pregnant with Emily."

"So did he stick around? Was he there for her?" I could see that was important to Klaus, he always wanted to be there for his daughter and I was sure he was hoping a man had been there for mine.

"Yes, he was. We were best friends through all of it, he provided for us and made sure we were safe. He was a good man." Klaus' face fell and I could see he was catching on. "But, as I've come to find out, even though we're immortal, we don't last long." I didn't want to think about this, and I always avoided it, but he saved our lives and I owed him everything. "There was a group of vampires, they'd been looking for our hideaway. The village was secluded deep in the woods and cloaked by a witch who owed my grandfather a favor. But these vampires found it, I don't know how, but they did. And they came in with guns and knives and teeth. It was a bloodbath. But Will, he fought them off, he did his best, along with the other men, to protect everyone. Most of the men died, Will being one of them, and most of the women and all of the children survived because of it. We moved camp, built new cabins, started over. But I still felt unsafe. So I went back to Mystic Falls. Emily was only 1."

"So I suppose this is where Damon comes back?" He was beginning to piece things together, and honestly I probably didn't even have to tell the rest, but I did.

"That's right. I ran into him just a few days after I came back. I was staying with Caroline and he stopped by. She didn't want him to talk to me, but I let him anyway. It was stupid." I regretted ever letting him back in my life. I couldn’t figure out why I cared about him so much, but a huge part of me couldn’t let him go back then. “He convinced me that he wanted to be with me, despite me being hunted. He made me believe he’d only been with Elena because he missed me, which is idiotic. But above all, he promised to take care of my daughter. He promised to protect her and he failed.” I could feel my face turn into a cold glare at the fireplace. I was still angry about it, I still hated him for it. “We were a little family for a long time. She knew him as her father figure, though he’d never allow her to call him that. It was strange, and I should have known by then that he didn’t care about her like he said he did. He just did what he had to do to be with me. Until the next attack, of course.”

“In Mystic Falls? Why didn’t I hear about this?” He asked, and I could see then he sill had a very tight leash on Mystic Falls.

“It was quiet, and it didn’t happen there. I remember going to bed, then a bat hitting me over the head. I woke up in a field. I still don’t know where.” I didn’t want to talk about His anymore, I’d never spoken of it out loud, not really. “I was tied up against a a wooden pole, the ones they use to hang scarecrows. It was soaked in gasoline.” The horror I was reliving was awful, but little did I know, taking about it was a beautiful therapy. “Damon was there and this group of vampires were surrounding the area. They all had black masks on with red designs, it was like a cult. They wanted the ‘ones who raise the dead’ as they put it. Damon had Emily, she was safe I thought. But the more they talked, the more Damon seemed to plot against them. He ended up giving them Emily as a distraction. A fucking distraction.” I shook my head and tried not to cry, to no avail. I wasn’t sure if the tears were from anger or grief. “He killed a few of the others before ripping the ropes off of me and carrying me away. He saved my life, sure, but she’s dead now. And I wish he’d done anything else, anything. I don’t care if they would have killed me, I just-“

“Hey now, stop right there.” Klaus said gently, making me stop talking. “You’re starting to panic.”

I noticed, inside, that was exactly what was happening. "I'm sorry. It just still feels so fresh." I sighed, feeling helpless.

"I know." He hugged me, which caught me off guard. He wasn't really the type to show much emotion for people, I knew that very early on, but he was so different with me. When we were alone he was so sweet and helpful, and it really felt like he cared about me. "I don't mean to tell you that you can't talk about it or have negative emotions about it, I just mean to keep you from panicking."

"Thanks." I breathed in and out, deeply and with purpose. I continued on with my story without prompt. "We left there, he took my back to the boarding house. It was in Elena's name, it was safe. I spent the whole night begging him to let me go find her, to let me save her. He insisted that she was dead, that he saw her die. I don't think I slept for a few days, I barely remember the days that followed her death." I put my head in my hands, fighting off that unneeded panic. "I only had about a week of grieving before Damon wiped my memory. He found out that those vampires were still looking for me, and that they knew where I was. And the kicker is that they knew I was staying at a house that belonged to Elena, so he sent me away to keep her safe from anyone looking for me. He wiped my memory, made me forget my own child, and sent me away by myself.. All for her."

I could see the look on Klaus' face. He was angry, sure, he was a hot head, but he kept his cool. He touched my face, turning it so I would look at him. "What he did was absolutely wrong. But it wasn't because you are inadequate. It wasn't because she was better than you, and it wasn't because you were a burden. I'm telling you this from over a thousand years of life experience, he did not do this to you because of something you did or are. He did this because he was scared, he saw a safety net and he landed in it, he took the path he knew would keep him alive. It was cowardice that did this, not you."

It was like he'd read my mind. I had been blaming myself for everything and it was maddening. I felt like a burden, like I wasn't good enough for him, and I had even had insecurities before all of this, it just felt so much worse now. But, aside from that, Klaus' words or wisdom and kindness made me feel an inch better. It wasn't a lot, because when that kind of thing is in your head, it isn't easy to take out, but it was enough to keep me afloat. "I'm so sorry all of my problems were laid out to you like this. You don't have to deal with this, you got your answer, you know what I am. You know how to kill me, you know I'm not a threat to you. You can walk away whenever you want."

"Well of course I can." He said, stating how obvious it was. "But I'm not walking away right now, am I?"

I looked him straight in the eyes and I saw nothing but concern and care. Had I not known better, I never would have thought that those same eyes have watched hundreds, if not thousands, of people die at his hand. "No."

"You could walk away too. I know that you know I've done unthinkable things, I've lived my life running and killing with no remorse or care about anyone or anything." I saw the point he was making. We were similar, we both had baggage, but stuck around for each other.

"I know you tried to kill Elena. And I know you killed her aunt Jenna." He stayed silent, likely unsure of where I was going with this. "I never met you, but the second Elena was in danger, he ran after her, not matter what it was. The last time, it was because of you. You wanted to trigger your werewolf side, I remember that, and in order to do it she had to die. And even though I was his girlfriend, even though I was going through a lot, I was grieving about my village, I was injured from the attack, he still ran to her. He tried to kill you for her."

"Do you wish that had gone differently?" That was a hard question, because I had a lot of answers to it.

"I used to wish he'd be willing to kill someone for me. I used to wish he put the same amount of effort into me as he did in keeping Elena alive. Countless people have died because she needed to live, and I had a little girl. I guess I just felt a little more entitled to my boyfriend's protection. I didn't get that from him, and instead of gathering up a group of people and fighting for me, like he always did for her, he sacrificed my daughter instead." I was rambling, feeling sorry for myself, venting. "I just wish I had never gone back there."

"I wish that too. I may not have met you otherwise, but at least you would still be with your daughter." He was a parent too, he could sympathize with me. He knew what it was like to have his child in danger, he knew what it would be like to lose her. I hadn't felt like I could connect with someone like this in so long..

"I'm sorry I dumped this on you." I chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. I wiped my face and sat up straight.

"I wanted to know. I care about you Molly." Just that slightest kindness almost sent me to tears. I'd just been stricken with all of the grief and self doubt and worthlessness I was supposed to feel in the span of the 2 years I'd been in New Orleans, and this sort of random guy I had a growing friendship with put his life on hold to help me. He helped me get my life back, even if it caused a great deal of grief. I wasn't lying to myself and everyone around me anymore. And not once did he complain or put his feelings before mine. I respected him a lot, and admired him. It would be a lie if I said I didn't have a crush on him at this point, how could I not? He was probably the sweetest, most helpful person I'd ever met.

"This is going to sound stupid." I choke back tears, but I was about to lose it. "But you have no idea how much I needed to hear that from someone right now." The flood gates burst and I sobbed, slouching over myself, resting my forehead on my knees.

He picked me up from the heap on the couch I was, and held me close. "It's alright, doll." He said quietly as he stroked my hair. I let it out, I let it all out, and when I calmed down, I felt so much better. It was great getting to vent and cry to someone who gave a damn, and although I wasn't okay, I was better than the mess I was prior to it. One step at a time. "Are you okay?" He asked, and although we both knew I wasn't, I nodded anyway. "I want you to stay here, in the compound tonight. I think it's best you stay close for now."

A part of me didn't want that, because it was accepting the change of my life, it meant accepting that this life I had been living was a total lie, and that things had to change, but whether I was at home or at the compound, it made no difference, only in safety. Either way, I had to deal with this, but maybe being close to Klaus, who knew the whole story, would be better. "Your family won't mind?"

"No, I'll tell them the basics. I'm sure they'll welcome you with open arms, it may take a little getting used to, but they'll be fine." He explained, calming me.

"How long do you expect me to stay?" I asked, noting his terminology had indicated I'd be there a while.

"As long as you need. We'll sort it out as it comes." This was such a strange situation, but I knew it was a good idea. It was safe, there was no one else I would be safer with. The thought of that threw me for a loop. He was the very same one who my friends were fighting just a few years back, he was the enemy, and now he was my closest ally.

"I can't thank you enough, just for listening. Let alone.."

"Don't, make yourself comfortable, and welcome to your new home for a while."

My new home. If only I had known what that really meant, having a home. I would soon learn, though, the Mikaelsons would be sure of it.