Angels

*****
(Teegan's POV)

A week later I found myself sitting at the parenting clinic a few blocks away from my house, gripping on to the arms of the chair tight. Thankfully Val had came with me so I wasn't alone which calmed me down a bit but I was still anxiously regretting ever coming here in the first place. I had only told her and no one else, except for Chester too. I sat outside on our balcony a few nights ago, gazing up at the stars. There was one star in particular that stood out the most to me. It was shining so bright and almost looked like it was moving, I just knew it had to be a sign that Chester was there. I drew in a deep breath, feeling the tears already building in my eyes. "Hey baby, I hope you're well tonight. God Ches, I miss you so much. You have no idea how crazy it is without you here. So listen, I'm going to the doctors this week, and I think it finally worked this time. I think you're finally going to be a dad. I just wish you could be here with me to see. But I love you always Chester. I hope I can see you again soon. Sleep tight until then my love, good night." I had blew a kiss into the air, wiping away a fallen tear before heading back inside the house. I knew I had to try and get some sleep, but ever since what happened with Zacky, it had become harder to do. I put on my headphones, setting the music to random. I closed my eyes while I hummed along sadly to the song. It was "Sharp Edges" from the new album, Chester had sang it to me one night when we were having a discussion about life and all. He opened up to me more about his childhood, telling me things I never would have known. So while I listened to it, I instantly cherished the memory that came with it.

"So this scar was from my dog, Rocky. He bit me one day when we were playing tag." I pointed to a small scar on my elbow. Chester scoffed, lifting up his shirt. "That's nothing! This one, was from getting attacked by like fifty girls at once when I went into the audience one night at a show in Mexico." I wrinkled my nose, shoving him lightly to the side. "And what about that one?" I pointed to a small one above his waist. He smirked, wiggling his eyebrows at me. "Oh that one? That one was from you, the first time we had sex." My face instantly flushed a bright shade of pink, making him laugh loudly. "Don't be embarrassed babe, that's one of my favorite memories." I shook my head before pushing him down onto his back now. "Oh, it looks like someone is getting aggressive. I like it." I put my hand to his mouth, smiling now as I climbed on top of him. "I think someone wants to end up with more scars." I giggled before taking my hand away and kissing his lips softly. He just stared up at me, the wanting look in his eyes growing bigger. "Come and get it baby."

When I had woken up a little while later, my music still playing, I looked to my left, seeing the shape of another body laying beside me. I froze in place, too scared to see who or what it was. A sudden familiar smell of Chester's cologne filled my nose as I inhaled deeply. It couldn't be possible, there was no way. As I neared closer reaching out my hand to touch it, I realized it was only a shadow. But the air felt incredibly warm as I kept my hand over it. I wasn't sure whether to scream or to cry. It truly felt as if he was laying right next to me, the smell of him, the feeling of body heat, I honestly thought he was here. "Ch-Chester? Baby, is that you?" I managed to stutter out as I kept my gaze fixed on the shadow beside me. Obviously it didn't respond to me, but the scent of him became stronger and my iPod started to go crazy, skipping to a song and staying stuck at full volume. "Searching for, a way to get to you. Through the storm you, go giving up your home. Go, leaving all you've known. You are not alone." the same lines kept repeating until eventually the figure beside me disappeared and I no longer could smell him. Tears had long since fell down my face as I sobbed into his pillow. "Damn it Chester, I want the real thing. I want to be able to really feel you beside me, not just an illusion of you. I want the real you!"

I never told anyone so far about the encounter a few nights ago besides Matt. He understood and agreed that it was him again, saying that he's always there with me. As I shook my head of the thoughts, I finally realized Val had been shaking me the entire time. "I'm so sorry to startle you, but they're ready for you hun." I swallowed hard, giving her hand a tight squeeze before getting up from my seat and following the lady back into the exam rooms. It was fairly simple, go pee in a cup, get my results in a couple of hours from a phone call. I did it and was done in less than fifteen minutes thankfully. I met back with Val in the lobby, telling her we could leave. As we drove back to my house, I tried my best to hold back the tears. I was terrified that I was going to be pregnant. Sure I wanted it before, but that was then. When Chester was still alive. I know he had more than likely intended for me to have his child even without him, but it was just something I couldn't see happening anymore. "You want me to stay for a while? Or you're welcome to come over hun, Matt and River are out at the aquarium today." I hesitated greatly before shrugging slightly. "I'm sure I could use the fresh air. Just let me get a couple things first." I said as we pulled into my driveway. She nodded with a smile as I got out and headed to the front door. When I walked in, I instantly was hit with the smell of him again. "I'm going out to the beach for a while with Val babe. I promise I'll be safe. I love you Chester." I said as I headed into my room, passing by the portrait of him and grabbing a change of clothes and my camera bag. "See you later my love." I mumbled softly before making my way back outside to Val's car. "Ready to go?" I nodded with a small smile. "Ready."

"I'm afraid to let go, I don't wanna drown!" I yelled to Chester as we stood in the ocean, the waves crashing against us. Sure, I had been to the beach plenty of times, but never actually farther than my feet in the ocean. I just wasn't a big fan of water, surprisingly enough since I grew up here of all places. "I won't let you drown baby, promise." I was clutching onto him as tightly as I could, feeling my whole body shake. We had been married for eight months already and my life just seemed to be getting better every day. We were in the area visiting my mom when Chester decided it would be a good idea to just hangout at the beach for a while. I eventually gave into him and let go but still gripped his hand tight as we let the waves take us and engulf me full into the water. To my surprise, having him there just made everything less scary. We splashed around and swam for a good while until it started to get colder, us finally settling on laying on a towel on top of the warm sand. We held each other as we stared out into the water, him whispering sweet words into my ear and kissing my face every time just to hear me laugh. I loved him with my whole heart and promised to God that if I could spend the rest of my life just like this, I would die a happy death.

When we had finally got to Val's a couple hours later, we decided on getting some Chinese food and watching cheesy soap operas to pass the time until Matt and River came home from the aquarium. We laughed constantly at the women who threw themselves at these over muscular type of businessmen. "There's no way in hell a guy like that would be dating anyone like her. She looks like a man!" I laughed loudly, feeling my face start to hurt. For once I finally felt like things were starting to be somewhat normal again. Sure, I still hurt deep inside and my heart ached for Chester but I knew I had to keep going, I had keep strong and keep his memory alive for the sake of my sanity and for everyone who loved him. As the day progressed on and Matt finally came home with River, we all sat down to a real family dinner. I had helped Val make a salad and garlic bread while she whipped up the spaghetti. We all exchanged stories about our day, River excitedly told me all about the sharks and sea lions he saw and how dad was too scared to touch a starfish. Smiles and laughter were all around the room until my phone rang, interrupting the moment. I excused myself from the table before answering it in the other room.

"Hello Mrs. Bennington? I'm calling from the L.A Health clinic. Your pregnancy test results are in." I swallowed hard feeling my heart pound in my chest as my hands began to tremble. "Okay." I said simply, unable to get any other words out. I was dreading this moment but I knew it had to be done. "Your results came back positive Mrs. Bennington. According to the doctor, you're already about two and a half to three months actually. Did you even know you were pregnant?" I felt my legs turn to jello as I fell to the floor, tears pouring down my face. "I-No I didn't actually. I never had any signs or symptoms until I missed my period last month. Wow, well okay, thank you." I managed to choke out as I held back the sobs. "You're welcome, I've scheduled a follow up appointment for you as well in a couple weeks for an ultrasound. You may even be able to tell the gender." I muttered out another thank you before abruptly hanging up the phone. I let out an ear piercing scream as I finally broke down into a fit of sobs. Val was at my side in a flash, holding onto me as tight as she could. "Shh babe it's okay, what happened Teegan? What did they say?" I tried to catch my breath as I cried harder into her chest. I was pregnant and I didn't even know it. "I-I-I'm pregnant! I'm just about three months!" I saw her face change in an instant, the tears now coming from her eyes as she rubbed my back. "Oh sweetheart, it's going to be alright." She tried her best to reassure and comfort me but it was no use, I was a disaster. Now I was almost positive it was Chester's, but there was still that aching possibility that it could be Zacky's as well. I knew I had to tell him, because it would not be fair to him if I decided not to. But I was scared, so fucking scared.

I had Matt drive me home after I had calmed down enough, I wanted to be alone and just have some time to think. Thankfully he kept the conversation light and held onto my hand the entire way there. "You're going to be okay Tee. Look at it this way, at least now you know for a fact that you're going to be having Chester's baby. Just like you two always wanted. I know it's not the same since he isn't here, but you have all of us to help you. River is so excited he's going to be a big cousin." I smiled weakly at him, the tears slipping down my cheeks. "I know Matty. Thank you again, I'll call you guys tomorrow." I gave him a light hug as we pulled into my driveway. We said our goodbyes as I headed inside the house. I changed into another one of Chester's shirts before making my way out to the balcony. I scrolled through my phone, finally stopping at Zacky's number. I knew I had to get this over with, but it still broke my heart to do it. "Teegan? Is everything okay?" He answered groggily. I felt bad that he was probably already sleeping. I drew in a quick deep breath before responding to him. "No, I'm not okay Zack. I'm pregnant. About three months give or take. I don't know if it's yours or Chester's either. It's more thank likely his, but we won't know until it's born. I just thought you should know that. Also, I just need space too. I want to stay like it's been, hardly in contact with each other. I don't blame you entirely for what happened Zee, but I just want to stay away from you for right now until I figure this out. I'm sorry." I didn't give him a chance to react or even speak as I hung up quickly. I shut off my phone before tossing it onto the lounge chair beside me. I looked up into the sky as I wiped away the tears, sniffling. There was that bright star again.

I stared at it some more, taking in all of its glowing beauty. I knew it was him, he was always shining his light wherever he was. "Hey baby, I'm home finally. And I've got some news to tell you too. I'm pregnant, Chester. You're going to be a dad. I'm really hoping we have a boy. He's going to have your namesake. But if it's a girl, I'll still figure it out. Maybe Chasity or Charlotte? Either way, I just wanted you to know that my love. Your plan finally worked, but I just really wish you were here to fulfill it with me. I know this is going to be a great thing to happen to us. I love you Chester,sleep tight angel." I again blew a kiss into the air like I always did, suddenly feeling the wind whip across my face. I inhaled deeply, the smell of his cologne filled my nose as goosebumps ran down my spine. He heard me, he was there. "I know you're there. Thank you for that babe, I really needed it."

(Zacky's POV)

After I had hung up with Teegan, my mind started spinning out of control. She was pregnant. It was possible it could be mine. And worst of all, she didn't want me around or have anything to do with it for the time being. How was I supposed to feel? How was I supposed to react? My initial reaction was to panic but I knew it was no use. I was going to accept it as it was. If it was mine, I would love and care for it like no other. I've always wanted to have kids, settle down and get married. I loved Teegan with all of my heart, so it didn't bother me that she was the one that would be my child's mother. And even if it wasn't mine, I still would man up and be there to see it born, to help bring it into this world. To best honest, now all I wanted was to be there for her and to help her through everything. I wanted to comfort her and care for her and do whatever I could to make things easier. But she didn't want me to, she wanted to keep me at a distance.

I felt completely useless but knew it was just going to take time to work everything out. For my sake, I hoped that was soon. I truly believed that I was destined to take on this role with Teegan, especially since I had made a promise to Chester I would take care of her. I had a plan that this was supposed to happen all along, whether it made sense to anyone else or not. I just had that gut feeling that we we're finally going to be together after some time and this was what going to do the trick.