Angels

*****
(Teegan's POV)

Despite the ups and downs with Zacky these past few months, everything had seemed to be falling into place somehow. The baby always seemed to be growing more active as the days progressed. He loved whenever I played Linkin Park or Avenged, thrashing around and kicking up a storm. Zacky usually liked to watch and stare in awe, still in disbelief that there was an actual human life in there. I reluctantly gave in and let us try at the whole "couple" idea too at one point, but it just didn't seem to be working in our favor. Any time we tried to kiss or even just be that type of close, felt incredibly awkward to me. But thankfully today was finally the day though; my baby shower and of course Chester's birthday. Val and Matt had us over bright and early at their house to help set up the decorations and things but seeing as it was my day, I got to sit back and watch everyone else do the work. Val had done an entire Halloween baby theme for me, also making sure to include both colors of pink and blue for when I had decided to reveal the gender of the baby to everyone. Matt and Zacky hung up balloons while Val prepared the final touches on the food. I wanted the party to be finished by at least 3 pm, that way I could invite everyone over to the cemetery afterwards to come and celebrate Chester's 42nd birthday with me.

Today was a big deal to me and I gave fair warning to everyone who got close that I was extremely emotional and to expect lots of tears. It was even more stressful to me because I knew he should be here, celebrating and anxiously awaiting the birth of his son. I missed him, more than words could ever say. "Why don't you understand that this is stressful for her too? She's the one having the baby, not you. This is also her husband's birthday, so that adds even more stress and sadness to her on top of everything since he isn't here physically. So can you please stop fucking thinking about yourself and just be happy for her? She doesn't even have to let you be there you know, whether the baby may be yours or not." I overheard Val arguing to whom I presume was Zacky in the kitchen. I knew he was upset that I kept him a secret, but it was all for the best. "Is anyone ever gonna know that there's a chance I may be the dad?" Not able to take anymore I barged in through the door, my arms folded across my chest. "I told you to stop this shit, especially for today. I swear to God if you don't knock it off Zee, I'll fucking throw myself down Val's stairs." A sudden look of terror flashed across both of their faces as I sat down at the small dining table, my head in my hands.

I felt a pair of hands wrap around my shoulders, I sighed deeply, feeling the tears start to fall freely down my face. "I'm sorry hun, we didn't mean to keep bringing it up. Are you gonna be okay?" I kept my head low as I sobbed quietly to myself. "I just am really having a hard time taking everything in today, you know? I really wish Chester was here. He'd have the answers to all my problems, he'd know what to do and what to say whenever I was feeling low. I just wish he was here so badly." I now sobbed harder into Val's chest as she hugged me close. I then looked up, seeing Matt and River hugging onto me as well. Eventually I was able to calm down enough to head back out to the living room and see the finished product. Everything was as exactly as I had pictured. The decorations, the cake, it all looked so beautiful. Matt had even put up a picture of Chester in the chair beside where I would be sitting, instantly making me break down into tears again. "Oh my God, thank you guys so much for doing this. It all looks so beautiful, I could never find a way to repay you for everything you guys did. And the fact that you included Chester for me even makes everything more special to me then it already is. I truly do love you guys all so much." Again we exchanged another long group hug, this time Zacky had joined in as well. When we had a second alone, he quickly apologized for the things he had said earlier. "I'm sorry, I mean it. I know I shouldn't have said the things that I did. This is a special day for you and I want you to enjoy it, okay?" I gave him a half smile as we hugged once more.

Finally around noon did all the guests start to arrive. Mike, Joe, and their wives were the first to show up, exchanging hugs and laughs as I wondered where everyone else was. "I'm sorry we couldn't get a hold of the others, Tee. But I'm sure they wish the best." Mike said with a soft smile. I just nodded, ushering everyone into the living room. Shortly after did the rest of the Avenged boys show up, Brian and Johnny each giving me bear hugs in the process. "Jesus I feel like it has been years since I've seen you! You're definitely showing, that's for sure. I can't wait to be an uncle already." Johnny said happily, putting a hand to my stomach. He jumped back a bit in surprise when it moved suddenly making me laugh. "Sorry, that happens a lot. Are you guys ready to find out what the little one is gonna be today?" I smiled wide, my eyes glimmering with excitement. He and Lacey nodded eagerly as we made our way into the party with the others. I sat at my seat as everyone started to bring me gifts and asking if there was anything they could do for me, which ultimately made me end up in tears for the fifth time this morning. We started to share stories about the days when I had first met the guys, when I first started doing photography, the first time I met Chester and worked with the band. Smiles were evident in everyone's faces and I was extremely happy. But deep down, I still felt an enormous pang of grief and sadness that just wouldn't ever go away.

"What if we have a girl? Would you ever let her date?" I asked Chester as we snuggled in bed one morning, watching "The Godfather" trilogy. He shook his head anxiously with a stern look on face, making me laugh loudly. "Aw how come? We can't keep her to ourselves forever! Okay fine, what about a son? Can he at least date?" Again Chester kept up with his protective father role. "No way! I don't want any of my kids dating until their at least in their twenties!" I looked at him with my mouth hung slightly open in shock. "You have got to be kidding me, I know for a fact you started dating when you were in high school, everyone told me so!" His face quickly softened as he proceeded to attack me in kisses and tickling my sides. I tried my hardest to fight him off but nothing seemed to work, he was just too strong. "Babe! Oh come on! Stop!" I said in between an uncontrollable fit of giggles as he continued on. Afraid that I may pee myself, I finally was able to fight him off when I licked him up his entire face. "Ewww, I'm covered in girl cooties!" He whined as he wiped at his cheeks, stopping long enough for me to get up. "Ha! I got you!" I gloated, sticking out my tongue and doing a semi victory dance. Although my reign was shortly lived when he started to chase after me down the stairs and into the kitchen. He finally cornered me by the fridge, gently shoving my back against the wall. He stared deep into my eyes before kissing me hard on the lips. I suddenly found myself clawing at his shirt, us both eventually ending up completely naked. Then before I knew it, we were making full on love on the kitchen counter, not even caring where we were.

"Okay guys, whose ready for the gender reveal?" Val suddenly announced, handing me over a big, white balloon. We filled it with the color of the baby and I was anxiously awaiting the show everyone. I had asked for my gifts to be mostly diapers and toys since no one would know what I was going to be having until today to make it easier. They all gathered around me, everyone's eyes glowing with excitement. I shakily held it up with one hand while I had a safety pin in the other. I shut my eyes tight before pressing it together, the balloon exploding, sending shreds of blue confetti everywhere. The room suddenly erupted into a wave of mixed emotions. When I opened my eyes, I noticed some people were crying while others were cheering, dancing around happily and hugging onto me. "It's a boy. Now I want you all to know that I named him after the two obvious most important people in my life. He's going to be named Chester James Bennington. After his dad and my best friend, Jimmy." I choked back the tears as I reached out to hug both Mike and Joe as they were beyond the most emotional. It was all a huge support system, everyone was comforting each other as we shared the joy of continuing on two great legacy's. "I know if Chester was here, he'd be so proud and so happy that you all had come. Now I'm asking as a small favor, if afterwards here you would join me in celebrating his 42nd birthday today over at the cemetery." I wiped away the tears that continued to fall as everyone agreed they would be there without any question.

Once everything was cleaned up and put back into proper place, Zacky had driven me over to the cemetery before anyone else arrived so I could have a private moment to myself. I sat down carefully beside his headstone, leaning over to place a kiss atop it. Thousands of people had shown up throughout the day to leave cards and balloons for him, which only made me cry harder. "I told everyone about our son today baby. They're all excited to meet him, especially Mike. Him and Anna are so excited to be his aunt and uncle. I really wish you could have been here today babe, I need you so badly. I'm so scared to do this without you, honestly. But I invited everyone over to wish you happy birthday. We're gonna let some balloons go with a message on it for you so I hope you have enough time up there to read them all. I love you so so much, Chester. You've been such a blessing to my life, I'm just so sorry that this had to ever happen. I'm so sorry I took everything we've ever done for granted. I wish I could have just one more day with you baby. I'll be forever waiting for the day that I get to feel you hold me in your arms again." I sobbed quietly, staring up at the sky. I blew a kiss into the air, suddenly noticing Zacky staring at me, tears in his eyes as well. I motioned for him to come sit beside me, letting him warp an arm around my shoulders. I rested my head against him, sighing deeply. "I know this isn't easy for you, Zacky. I know we've wanted for this to be something serious for so long, but it just doesn't seem to work. I told you, I want you in his life and I know whatever the outcome may be, I know it may hurt, but I just want you to know that I do love you, Zee." I placed a kiss on his cheek, letting him place a soft kiss to my lips. "I love you too, Tee."

(Zacky's POV)

I just held onto Teegan as long as she would let me, cherishing in the moment. I knew I had been selfish towards her, but it hurt me so badly, because I wanted nothing more than to be with her and have that title of a family to my name finally. Sure, whether he was mine or not I was still going to be there for her but ultimately I wanted to be a real family. You know, mom, dad and child. I wanted to be able to hold her hand in public and kiss her as much as I wanted to whenever I get home from
tour. I wanted to tell her that I loved her every minute, every hour of the day and in the nights I wanted to hold her close and keep her warm in bed. I wanted to show her off to the world as my girlfriend, as my wife. But knowing that this was all just some big dream that I had planned out in my head, I fought back the tears that threatened to fall on her face as we hugged closer together. "I love you. No matter what happens, I'll always love you and you'll always be my best friend."

(Teegan's POV)

About fifteen minutes later everyone had shown up with their balloons in hand. I passed around a black marker, letting them all write their own message to Chester. Once we had finished, I grouped up everyone and agreed we would let them all go at the same time. We each took turns saying our own little story about him, laughing and crying together, expressing how much we missed and loved him. "Happy Birthday my love. I know some day we will be together again and I can't wait for that day to come. Keep your eyes on your son, he's going to need your guidance babe. I love you Chester." I kissed my balloon, before signaling on three to let them all go.

"One, two, three! Happy Birthday, Chester."