Aurora Borealis

VII: The Handsome Douchebag Twat

The northern lights beamed brightly in the sky one particular January night. In a 1982 Ford Mustang, the radio played softly on the news channel, as Alex and Rian stared out the windshield at the spectacle of lights in the sky. Aputi, exhausted from work, laid in the backseat against the hot, worn out leather of the car. The air was thick with the odour of cigarettes shared between the two men, and Alex watched drowsily at Rian's hands as he rolled another one, dry crumbs of tobacco leaves falling onto the floor.

Rian peered up through his eyebrows, noticing the artist's tired look. He smiled before looking back down. "You look drained." He said, licking the paper.

"This news on the radio is killing me." Alex offered as an explanation. Rian hadn't been paying attention to what the news anchor had been saying until the brunet had mentioned it, and he started to listen.

"Authorities threatened to remove protesters from their grounds at Standing Rock, however, the so called 'Water Protectors' remained diligent and refused to move from their camp site. This prompted head on interaction between the two sides, which eventually turned violent and left many injured. Several protesters were arrested and taken into custody, and others were left in the cold of winter with their injur—"

Rian switched off the radio promptly. His once friendly expression was replaced with a grimace, complimented by distasteful wrinkles.

"Hey! I was listening to that." Aputi chimed in, emerging from the back seat. Rian's facial contortion worsened.

"It's depressing. Why would you want to listen to something like that?"

"I wish I didn't have to," she said softly, "but it involves me. It involves my culture. It involves my planet. Some of us have to care, 'cause if we don't, no one else will."

Rian shook his head, but not in disagreement. He preferred to live in ignorant bliss, and it pained him when he saw anybody he cared for subject themselves to the grey darkness of the world. He admired Aputi's courage, but didn't yearn for it. And although he knew that what was happening in Standing Rock was a violation of rights to every protester there, he couldn't bring himself to make a difference. He couldn't bring himself to even try. He was too gentle, too soft, and too cowardly.

"See why it's killing me now?" Alex addressed the question to Rian, a lazy smile on his face.

The man didn't answer his question, only lighting his cigarette with a near-dead lighter, taking a drag, and then passing it to Alex. A few moments of silence passed, with the two men sharing their cigarette, and Aputi gazing at the green aurora in the darkness of the sky.

"So on a lighter note..." she started, catching the attention of her friends "Alex, I was hanging around town when I saw you in Tim Hortons with another guy."

The artist inhaled sharply, avoiding eye contact with Aputi and taking the cigarette out of Rian's hands. He took an especially long drag, hoping it could save him from having to explain himself. Rian stared at him, his eyebrows sewn together as he expressed his confusion.

"You're seeing someone?" He asked, curiosity and a hint of shock laced in his tone.

Smoke came pouring from Alex's mouth in thick, grey ribbons. He shook his head rapidly, still not keeping eye contact with either of them. From his peripheral vision, he saw Aputi smirk in Rian's direction.

"You know, I thought he looked familiar."

The brunet finally decided to respond, but the wavering in his voice did not make him seem credible. "Is that so?" He said, looking at his hands. "I don't think you know him. He's never mentioned you."

"Who is it?" Rian asked her.

"When we went out for celebration drinks, I saw a man who looked just like that guy go home with Alex."

"What?" Rian gasped, and Aputi erupted in hysterical laughter upon noticing that Alex's face was flushed in a rose-white blush.

"It's not what you think!" He insisted, finally looking at Aputi with an expression that pleaded her to stop. She only smiled in return.

"I didn't think you were looking to date anyone." The other man mentioned. "Hell, I didn't even think you had it in you to hook up with someone."

Alex rolled his eyes. "If it makes you feel better, I felt like shit afterwards."

"Why are you still seeing him, then?" Asked Aputi.

"I... I don't know" he sighed. "He just keeps appearing, and he won't leave me alone..."

"Woah woah woah, wait..." Rian piped up "what do you mean you felt like shit afterwards? Did he do something?" The way the man asked this question made it clear to the brunet that he was concerned.

"No, it just wasn't my proudest moment. Anyways, can we change the subject?"

"Well hold on, you need to tell us about him." The girl insisted.

"Why?"

"Because now you're going on dates with him."

"I wouldn't call it a date."

"Well it sure as hell wasn't a fucking business meeting."

"You don't know that"

"Oh, so do you usually become business partners with the people you screw? Is that a hobby of yours?"

Alex groaned loudly, tilting his head back to look at the roof, once again avoiding eye contact. He realized that this conversation was not going to end no matter how much he tried to avoid it, and he was going to have to retire his defences if he were to see the light ever again.

"Listen," he started "we're not dating. I don't even know if I like him that much. To be honest, he's kind of a twat. I guess I'm just... testing the waters? Dipping my toe in? I don't know."

"Hold on, hold on," Rian piped up "you said he's a twat, but you didn't specify what kind of twat."

"What the fuck does that mean?" Alex inquired a bit forcefully, while Aputi tried to conceal her giggling in the backseat.

"You know, there's all sorts of different twats." Rian defended. "Is he the loveable kind of twat where he says weird stupid things that are ultimately harmless? Is he the annoying twat that is the biggest piece of shit you've ever met? Is he the handsome douchebag twat, who is rude and insensitive but you can't help but wanna screw him? I need to know!"

Alex's mind was screaming 'all of those!' But admitting that Jack was loveable or handsome would require for the artist to put his pride aside. "A twat is a twat, Rian." He said a bit too defensively. "He's just a twat."

"I have another question!" Aputi raised her hand, mocking a classroom situation.

"What?"

"What's his name?"

The question lingered in the air for some time, the silence almost consuming it completely. The anticipation and hype was really not necessary, and Aupti was starting to grow frustrated. Not that Alex cared: he'd been frustrated since she started prodding him for information. However, Alex knew that the conversation, along with his suffering, would likely end once he gave up this last piece of information.

"Jack."

"Sounds like the handsome douchebag kind of twat." Rian concluded, a sly grin on his face.

The artist slapped his friend's arm, a weird and peculiar expression on his face. Rian started to laugh, enjoying how annoyed his friend was becoming.