Another Seven Days

I kept waiting for that person.
The one who would make me the best I could be.
The one that would make me keep on trying.
Even now the coffee cups around me keep adding up; three cups from the week before, at least. I always made sure to add a bit of milk, but I prefer it without.
You knew what I meant, doing something just because but you disliked it so.
That was true compassion. Strange, but it's true. It just felt so right doing what we would rather not do. I added milk, you didn't. I despised coffee with milk, but we would always swap cups and feel at peace once more.
It was a struggle. I was on my desperate search for someone, and you were just there waiting for me.
To me, you were everything. I'm not sure what my favourite thing about you was, but I did have a few that I found captivating. I loved how you smelt like peppermint all year round, and how your hugs were always the warmest.
I remember when we were wondering around some store and our arms were full of bags.
I saw this sweater, in this burnt orange color. I kept arguing with you about it, you felt it wasn't worth it, that you wouldn't suit it, but I just knew that you would've been perfect for it.
I never got around to buying it, though.
I'm rambling again, aren't I? You said it was cute that I do it, but I think it's annoying.
My favourite moment we had together had to be when we had a cliche movie marathon in the middle of the storm. I ran my fingers through your honey-blonde hair as you laughed at the shitty jokes. You made the popcorn and I made the tea. It tasted kind of funny, but it's one of my favourite snack combinations now.
I bet you're wondering where this is all going. If I knew the answer, I would tell you.
I regret it now, I really do.
Walking out was one of the worst things I've done. It feels like I can't breathe some days. I'm always crying too hard to get out of the house or even out of bed.
It sounds like a pity story, but it isn't.
If you're happy, it's worth it in the end. I don't think I ever made you happy, did I?
You always said you loved me, but I was never sure.
The bed feels tainted without you, but I'm sure it never mattered.
Seeing her in our bed was horrifying and I'm still not over it, all these years later.
I should've tried to solve our problems, be better for you, but I'm sure that she's a better candidate. She's someone you can take home, at least.
I kept waiting for that person, and that person was you.
I waited for you but you walked past me and continued on.
I was only a part of your childhood, I should've known that much. There is no such thing as highschool sweethearts. But as long as you're happy, I'm happy.
The kettle's gone off once more. I need another cup of coffee, I didn't sleep at all last night.
It's common now. Not being able to sleep, I mean. But I'll make my coffee how you like yours, and then maybe I'll be at peace for a little while longer.