Elements of a Selfish Desire

Everything is fine, Zack.

Despite the words on the screen, the rhythm still found himself on a race against time to get back to the hotel before Brian left.

He produced a fifty dollar bill that more than covered the fare, and handed it to the driver. A word of thanks was offered before he exited the vehicle. He knew that if the other guitarist was gone, he wasn’t going to turn around just to talk to him, so he did not rush once inside the hotel. There was only one set of elevators the lead would use, and only one exit. Though he would have bet that he would run into him at some point in one of the halls, he did not.

A sturdy knock on the door solicited a response from inside, and he let out a quiet breath. The sound of a zipper being drug along its track could be heard before it stopped abruptly. Muffled noises of sneakers connecting with the tile led up to the door being opened a little.

“Hey man. What’re you doing here? I thought you were out with everybody.” Turning on his heels, he left the doorway to return to his packing.

“I was. You said you’d catch up with us by lunch. Then I get a text saying you’re going home.”

“Yeah. I told you I had that appointment. We talked about it a few weeks ago.”

“Yeah, but I thought it was for next week?”

“It got moved up.” He shrugged nonchalantly. “Can you hand me that belt? It’s hanging on the chair you’re leaning against. Yeah. Thanks.”

“Brian, what’s going on?”

“With what?” he said with a half confused look crossing his face. “I told you everything is fine.”

He wasn’t getting it. Zack wasn’t stupid. He wasn’t buying that line. However, he knew he would get nowhere with him if he didn’t switch topics.

“Anyway, Matt said you had something to talk to me about. That’s why I’m here.” It wasn’t a lie. That was part of the reason. A small part still counted.

“What?”

“He said you left the group last night to come talk to me about something.”

“It’s nothing.”

“You came to my room at three a.m. to tell me something, but it wasn’t anything important?”

“Yes, Zack.” He replied, slightly annoyed now. “I was coming to tell you about the appointment getting moved, then I got a little sidetracked. Okay? Damn, what is your problem?!”

“My problem?” the sudden escalation of the conversation caught him off guard and his eyebrows raised at the accusation.

“Yes. Your problem. You’ve been on my ass since we got on the road! Can I not feel up to hanging out every waking second, and have an off night where I puke without you trying to mother me?”

“Mother you? If caring that one of my friends hasn’t been feeling well or acting like himself this past month counts as mothering, then apparently, I am. Excuse me for giving a damn,” he growled, and the anger welling up within him reached deep inside; all the way to Vengeance. It took all of his might not to say anything as his other half stepped outside into the open between them.

Back off.

“So that’s it?”

“What’s it?” the brown eyed man scowled as he shoved the last bit of his items into the navy colored duffle bag.

“You’re just going to leave now?”

I said back off.

“Yeah. Got a problem with that? Mommy?”

“No. I don’t give a shit. Come and go as you please. Just make sure you don’t let your pride and ego get in the way of your judgement.”

THAT’S ENOUGH! Vengeance roared, and it jarred the hybrid. He hadn’t known he was talking to him and it shocked the hell out of him. Leave him alone, Zack.

“You know what? Fine.” Lifting his hands up he turned to leave. “I came by to see how you were, and what you needed last night. If that makes me a bad guy, my apologies. Won’t happen again.”

Nothing but a scowl served as his response as the younger man left. He didn’t have time for this. He had a plane to catch.

*

“I don’t know what’s going on. His phone is shut off.” Matt said as a look of perplexion crossed his features.

“Maybe call his wife, babe.” Val suggested with a shrug. “I would, but I left my phone in my bag in our room.”

“That’s what I’m doing—Hey. Christina. Hey, it’s Matt.” The singer lifted a hand of relief she answered. “Yeah. It’s good, thanks. Hey, what’s up with Brian? His phone is off or something. We’ve been calling him all day.”

“You haven’t said much this afternoon, Zee.” The petite blonde noticed with a glance in his direction.

“Just tired and have a hell of a headache.”

“It’s probably a tension headache. Come on.” She motioned at him now. “Turn around. Let me rub your shoulders.”

“Can’t argue with that. Thanks Vee.” Standing, he turned around and swung his leg over the chair to take a seat in it backwards. The singer’s wife moved in close behind him and soft hands came to the base of his neck and shoulders in an attempt to massage the stress away. She was good at it, too.

“Okay. So you didn’t know that he was back home?” dark brows furrowed over hazel eyes now, and it drew a question from both his wife and the bassist. “Yeah. It got moved up to today. We were just wondering how it went….right. Well, yeah. Call one of us when you talk to him. Thanks.”

“What do you mean she didn’t know he was back home?” Val scrunched up her nose at him now.

“She said that they talked last night but that he didn’t tell her he had flown home. She’s with her parents in Florida right now.”

“Maybe his appointment didn’t actually get moved up, then. Maybe he just needed a break?”

“A break? We haven’t even been on the road for a week yet,” Johnny said dismissively.

“Maybe he didn’t want to bother her, you know? Maybe it was a routine check up and it went fine.”

“That’s true. Maybe he’s just catching up on sleep,” the shortest of the Avengedmen concluded.

“Maybe we should stop analyzing it, and get back to figuring out what we’re going to do for dinner.” Zack almost snapped, and it was only then he realized just how tense he really was. “Sorry, that was a bit harsh. I’m just really hungry.”

“How about I send you to the spa? My treat. When you get back we’ll have food ready for you.”

“We will?” Matt asked with a flick of his eyebrows towards his wife now.

“Yes. I’ll run to the store and buy what I need. Hell, why don’t you all go get a massage and I’ll have dinner ready in our suite. Okay? Sound good?”

“Well, if you’re buying….” The bassist teased.

“If it will stop all of your moaning and groaning about food and Brian, then yes. Hot stone massages for everyone. Just get going so I can get started.”

“You remind me of my mom,” the rhythm laughed gruffly now.

“Thanks,” she said with a roll of her eyes. “I’m not that old.”

“Your mom sent you to a spa to get you out of the house? Damn, I missed out! My mom just locked me outside and told me to go play.” Johnny snickered.

“No, not like that. I mean trying to get her kids out of her hair so she could make dinner. It always tasted better when we weren’t up her ass about everything while she was cooking.”

“Now you get it!” she giggled with a light pat to his shoulder as she stood. “Three ninety minutes on us, and if you’ll be a doll and bring back a certificate for me, with the works, I’d appreciate it babe.”

“You got it, boss.” He chuckled and motioned his friends to follow now. “Do you need a card, or do you have one on you?”

“I’m good. Bye guys.”

*

“That was almost better than sex,” the bassist groaned with a small push of his plate to get it out of the way.

“You must have some pretty shitty sex, Johnny.” Zack said with a poke to his friend’s arm.

“I said almost. But really, it was amazing Val. Thank you.”

“It was awesome, baby. Thanks.” The singer agreed with a kiss to her cheek.

“Yes, thanks Vee. Very good. I wasn’t expecting a home cooked meal so soon after getting on the road.”

A phone began to ring and the blonde pulled hers from her jeans. “Hey, Chris. What’s up?”

“Oh, good.” Johnny noted with a nod.

“Oh. Okay. Yeah, that’s good. Thanks for letting us know. No, it’s cool. I have to clean up from making these clowns dinner.”

Mouthing an ‘I got it’, Zack stood and began clearing the table. He was raised that whomever cooked should not be made to clean up as well. Unless you cooked alone. That was always the kicker.

“Yeah, you too. Later.” With a scrunch of her mouth, she ended the call. “She said she just got off a video call with him and he didn’t say much.”

“I’m gonna call him,” the brown eyed man said and took his phone from his pocket to do so. “Seriously?”

“Seriously, what?” The singer questioned.

“Straight to voicemail.”

“Seriously?” Matt echoed now, and decided to try from his cell. Unfortunately, he got the same thing. “What the hell, Brian?”

“If you’re leaving him a message, I kinda doubt that’s the best way to start it.” His wife told him as she came to stand behind him now. “Thanks, Zack. I appreciate it.”

“No problem. I appreciate the meal.”

“Hey man. We were just wondering how things are going. Your wife said she talked to you not too long ago, so we were hoping to talk to you. Talk to you later, I guess.”

“Oh crap. Is it really that late?” Val huffed now.

“I wasn’t aware five o’clock was late, but I suppose it is.” The bassist confirmed.

“No, it’s not. I was just supposed to call my sister. She’s always on my ass about promising to call her and then forgetting.”

“Hey, tell Michelle we said hi. Everything okay with her?” The guitarist asked while rinsing the dishes in preparation to throw them in the dishwasher.

“Yeah, she’s doing okay. She just broke up with her boyfriend, though.”

“Steven? He was a nice guy. I liked him.” Her husband chimed in now.

“Yeah. He was okay. She just didn’t seem as happy as I would have hoped. But still, she’s upset and has been kind of lonely.”

“How in the world can she be lonely when she’s watching your kids?” Johnny laughed now. “I think your kids are the most entertaining bunch I’ve ever met.”

“I thought we were the most entertaining bunch we’ve ever met?” Zack joked, and a smile flashed across his face for the first time in days.

“No. You guys are the strangest people I’ve ever met.”

*

Meanwhile across the country, the missing Avengedman sat on the plump sofa by himself. A fresh beer gripped lightly in his hand, and another sat empty on the tile top coffee table before him. Dim brown eyes took in the details of the label. Each color, every letter, and the symbol. It was something that usually made him happy, relaxed him, melted away stress, or something of a similar nature; but not tonight. The sight of it turned his stomach. After about four minutes of staring at it, he realized he had absolutely zero intention of drinking it. He couldn’t.

Pushing himself to stand, he made his way back into the kitchen as he had several minutes before. This time, however, instead of stopping at the refrigerator, he went past it to the other side of the room. A jaded expression crept up onto his face as he turned the bottle on an angle and watched the alcohol pour out. It was something he had rarely done in his life, and of those times, he couldn’t remember but one instance when it didn’t have to do with the beverage being too warm.

“What the hell are you doing, Brian?” he muttered to himself.

He wished he had an answer. Instead, the only sound that greeted him was that of the water which he had turned down to wash the amber colored liquid down the drain. Where it belonged.