Elements of a Selfish Desire

Presently, Zack stood on the balcony of his eleventh story hotel room. There was a beautiful breeze which complimented the warm rays of sunshine that drenched the city whose name escaped him at the moment. He had pressing things on his mind. What was happening with Brian was definitely at the forefront, but Omega also ran through his thoughts as well. It was the first time in a long time he had been so bothered by something. At this stage in his career, he could get just about anything he desired that had a monetary value. What he couldn’t obtain that way could likely be obtained through his abilities, and it was that reason that had him staring out over the city.

He felt almost lost. He had a better handle on his capabilities as it stood today than this time just a couple of years ago, but that did not mean he was fully aware of every aspect of them. He had known for months that something was wrong with Brian. Even had a dream of what exactly was wrong, but he had chalked it up to ‘just a dream’. He should know better by now, but still refused to believe that was the case. He wasn’t sure what needed to be done at this particular moment, but he felt the urge within him increasing rapidly that he needed to get on top of that.

While he was definitely tempted to get ahold of his therapist to ask him for guidance, he knew that part of his training entailed him figuring things out on his own. He knew the only way to start getting answers was to talk to Vengeance and Omega, but at this juncture, they were going to be equally as hard to have a meeting with. One was scarcely speaking to him, and he truly did not know how to contact the other.

“Alright, Zack. Think. How do you need to do this?” he mumbled to himself with a raise of a hand to absently tap at his lips with his fingers.

If he wanted to get anywhere, he knew he needed to let his hybrid side take control. It was rare that he fully gave into that part of him, but it was becoming clearer all the time that it was necessary for his protection, as well as those around him. One would think he could just switch flawlessly from one side to the other, but it really didn’t work that way. Not with him. He was so angry that he had been taken that he’d spent the better part of the first five years thereafter trying to ignore what he’d become; so much so that now it was an even greater effort for him to give into that side.

After a few more minutes of debate, he decided the best thing to do was lock himself in the bathroom. Being that he did not have a corner room, there were no windows to bring in natural lighting, and that is what he needed. Pitch black darkness. It had always relaxed him as a child, and now that he had otherworldly qualities, it was like a second home to him.

He settled in on the plush white bath mat, with a couple of throw pillows around for maximum comfort. He put his focus into breathing deeply to aide in calming his mind. Alcohol used to be his go to vice for relaxing, but that was a synthetic calm. It actually promoted losing control over his hybrid side, versus being able to use it at his will in those moments.

Zack, what is it you’re trying to do?

The question came about three to four minutes into his quest, and though he should have been happy it appeared to be working, he wasn’t impressed.

Are you not talking to me now? A pause, then his other side hissed lightly in frustration at the silence he received in response. Zack!

Though it was hard to drown out the sound of the voice coming from within him, he pushed on and began thinking back to the different things his mentor had told him about how they met each time. Though Zack always walked into a physical building, he knew well they didn’t stay there. He wasn’t sure if they stepped into a portal during their time together, or just what it was, but he knew for sure that if anyone else tried to open the door he went into, the two of them would not be found. If the door was even there to begin with. Neither here nor there, there had to be something he could glean from the few conversations they had about things of that nature.

As he was wracking his brain, the temperature seemed to change around him. The room became cold, damp, and a metallic smell laced the air around him. He didn’t have to open his eyes to know he was no longer in the hotel bathroom he had started in. A dull ache settled into his upper back and shoulders, and a prickling feeling washed over those areas that reminded him of his last supernatural encounter. With a deep breath out, almost glowing green eyes opened to begin the adjustment process to the tangibly dark atmosphere he found himself in.

He pushed himself to stand, which caused a ripple of pain to drag over his back side. His wings. They were back. Being that he was there of his own accord this time, he decided to explore the raven black appendages. Stepping away from the wall, he pushed them out to the side one at a time. First the right one, then the left. They were pretty heavy and they ached, which he would assume was from lack of use. His dominant hand reached back to the outstretched attachment and calloused fingers ran over the feathers which felt like they had some sort of powder like coating on them. Dust maybe? Strange, perhaps, but not so much so when he was a hybrid who had wings only sometimes. His head shook away the logic that told him he can’t possibly have such creature-esque extremities. Oh, how he longed for the days where logic worked and life just made sense.

If they needed to be used, he needed to stretch them first. It was not comfortable, and they groaned, popped, and cracked, but he pushed and pulled them in different ways just as one would stretch their arms before a workout. He spent a good five minutes working with them and though they were super sore by the time he finished, a lot of the stiffness left them. He allowed them to arch out and flutter lightly to shake the dust like substance off of them, and found it to be more dirt based than anything else. Almost like he had been in a scuffle that had ended up on the ground for an extended period of time at some point. It was becoming clear to him that these wings weren’t just for flying, if they even served that purpose in the beginning.

As continued stretching, the theory that they were more of a weapon versus a mode of transportation struck true in a most painful way. His fingers came to massage the knotty portions that he likened to joints, and he immediately recoiled with a hiss when they were sliced by a razor-sharp feature embedded within them. He had knife-like tips to the forward most edge of his new-found appendages? He couldn’t deny that it was a pretty bad ass feature. That aspect alone told him it was doubtful these were limbs created to fly. They were part of his fighting abilities. Perhaps he fought and/or trained in this realm, and that was why he often times found himself in need of a good massage this last year or so? He had previously attributed it to stress, long hours hunched over his guitars, or simply the aging process. It made sense now.

Glancing down, he saw a decent bit of blood flowing from the gaping wounds the sharp metal had left in his fingers. Strangely enough, though he knew for a fact that regeneration was not an ability of his in the natural realm in which he dwelled, with an all-knowing flick of his eyes, the wounds reversed and healed up perfectly. Almost like putting a movie on rewind; it was the most peculiar thing. Although he already knew he could not reverse engineer how he had done it, he was now sure that the rules were different here and he was becoming increasingly confident he could do damn near anything in this place.

He is looking for you, the breathless wind seemed to whisper to his soul as it wisped around him now, and it turned his attention off of his battle torn appendages.

Who’s looking for me? he questioned telepathically, and was surprised when there was an immediate response.

Vengeance.

He can keep looking for me, he huffed, completely set on ignoring his other half for the time being. However, the voiceless breeze urged him otherwise.

Vengeance is here. He is looking for you. With the briefest of pauses, it repeated itself twice. Vengeance is here. He is looking for you. He is looking for you; Vengeance is here.

With the raise of an eyebrow, he decided he had better see what this was all about.

Do not keep him waiting; Vengeance is here, it continued to say rhythmically as he began his search for his split side.

This had better be good.

*

Though he found himself in a timeless place, for the sake of comparing his journey to that in the earthly realm, the hybrid guessed his quest to have taken him a good two hours. He had searched high, low, around curves, down in ravines, through waterfalls, caverns, and swamp-like waterways, and though he was not amused, he could feel himself learning more about his own abilities with every few steps. He had learned that here, you dry off quickly after being subjected to different elements, which was nice. He found that he could heal without thinking in this realm, and that he could heal other creatures with a simple blink of an eye, thanks to his softer side taking pity on a bullfrog he had stepped on in the swamp. He also found that tracking was something he was fairly decent at, should he only follow his nose and instinct. That was a difficult one to explain, for sure, but simply put, he smelled his way around. Kind of like a blood hound, at times.

The most interesting thing he had learned about himself was the awareness he had of his surroundings. Almost like a sixth sense. He knew what he was about to encounter before he came across it, and had damn near a full map in his head of the landscape prior to entering the area. He was not sure if that was part of his tracking ability or just what, but it had proved to be very helpful thus far. Last but not least, he was starting to trust himself; his true self. That was worth the whole trip, as far as he was concerned. However, that wasn’t the reason he had come here. Vengeance was one, and he knew that once he scaled this last mountainous ridge, he would be face to face with him.

Incredibly dexterous fingers clenched on to the rock as he climbed the side of the last obstacle like he was some sort of super hero. Not quite like Spider Man, but it was the only way he could describe it. His hands and feet just seemed to know where to go, and he found he wasn’t nervous about falling in the slightest. It was almost like he didn’t fear death anymore. Not in this realm, anyway. When he reached the top, he moved to stand in front of the other half of himself that he had spent years trying to bury within him.

“Vengeance,” he said in a firm voice, though he was surprised he suddenly was able to speak aloud now.

You found me. A sight nod dipped his forehead when he felt a release on his own vocal cords, which allowed him to speak audibly as well. “Much obliged.”

“At last we meet.” The tilt of his head mirrored the other half’s, and he gave the projection a slow once-over glance. “You look well.”

“In this realm Zack, we are only what we are. Nothing more.”

“I’ve never been quite that buff before. You look more solid than Matt.”

“Perhaps not visibly, but I take it that you have not fully seen who you truly are; even though you have been here for quite some time.” He paused to cross his arms over his chest now. “You are quite strong yourself.”

“I have not had to test that yet, other than climbing up here just now.”

“Rest assured, you will know soon enough. You will find you are a quite worthy opponent.”

“What’s this about, Vengeance?”

“What’s what about? This place? This meeting, what?” it was not a haughty or rude question, it was a sincere one, and it was something Zack appreciated.

“I’d like to know about both, but let’s start with our meeting.”

“You are the one who summoned me here, Zack.”

“I summoned you?” his brows furrowed at the light yet throaty laughter that left his other half now.

“My apologies. I forget that you are still under the assumption that we are one.”

“We aren’t?”

“No, we are but….” With a waive to dismiss the rest of his sentence, he decided to take a different approach now. “In the earthly realm, yes. We are one. We share one body; yours. And yes, we are still one. However, we are separate here at the same time. Make sense?”

“Nope.”

“Let me try to explain it in a humanistic world view. Most people believe that a human is body, mind, and soul, but the body and the soul are separate, right?”

“Yes.”

“Many religions believe that the body dies, and the soul goes to heaven or hell, correct?”

“Yes.”

“Think of us in that way, metaphorically speaking. I am not your soul, but like a soul, you and I are one inside of you, but I, being the soul, can be separate from you at times. Better?”

“A little, yes.”

“Okay. Now in the earthly realm, I can only be so far away from you at a time when I step out. You are able to keep me in with your protective spells as well, which I need to have a word with you about sometime soon. It is different here, though. When you travel here, we actually travel separate. I can be anywhere in this entire realm and you do not have a say in that because we operate separately here.”

“But when I leave, we merge and you come with me?”

“Correct.”

“Strange, but somehow I understand.” Glancing around, the guitarist let out a slightly frustrated sigh. “Can we sit somewhere?”

“Sure.” With a flick of his dominant hand, which Zack noticed was not his left hand, a white wrought iron bistro set appeared off to the side of where they stood. As they sat down, the depthless black cave scene around them dulled a bit, and the bright green hues of an English garden came into view just off to his right, Zack’s left. “Now, what else would you like to know?”

“This place is in another realm. Is it also in another dimension? And what is it? Are we physically here?”

“Yes, we are in both another realm and another dimension. Since you are still clinging to your humanistic side, I can best describe our location together as somewhere between middle earth and Jupiter.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“There is a portal inside of the earth, which I know you are aware of. What you did not know is where it leads. While it can lead to different places, this particular place we are in is nearest to Jupiter.”

“So we are in outer space, then?”

“No.”

“I’m confused.”

“Nevermind that right now. The best I can explain it is if you look at a satellite photo of the earth. Then you would find a focal point somewhere between here and Jupiter, any one will do because there aren’t exactly coordinates here. Now, go behind the stars.”

Zack sat in silence now. This was enough to bend the human mind, for sure. He spent probably three minutes pondering these words before the expression changed on his face.

“Are you saying ‘space’ and the stars are like a curtain?”

“There you go, you’re getting it.”

“So we are behind the veil of space and time?”

“Best way I know to explain it to you.” His projection gave a half nod of approval in conjunction with his response.

“Okay. That’s pretty cool, though I don’t understand it.”

“Don’t try. It will make your head explode.”

The tattooed man sat back and took in the sight of his other half before him. He noticed several things that were distinctly different between them. For one, he was clearly right handed. Another thing was, while he did have tattoos, they weren’t all the same as his own inked pieces. The biggest difference was that at least here, Vengeance was super ripped. He had muscles on top of muscles, though not in a body builder type way. It was more in a bouncer or street fighter type way. Even in the hybrid’s form here, he was not nearly that cut.

“That is neither here nor there right now.”

“Huh?” admittedly, he had temporarily forgotten Vengeance could read his mind.

“Why our tattoos are different and why I’m not a lefty like you are is not something that is important right now. One day when we have time to shoot the breeze, perhaps we can delve into that.”

“Agreed. I’m just taking all of it in right now. But let me ask you this, Vengeance. What do you know that I don’t know?”

“As I have told you before, I know a lot that you do not know. You’ll need to be more specific, because while we are in a timeless place, time still marches on in the real world. Right now, Matt is calling you because you’ve missed dinner plans. Johnny came to your room looking for you earlier. And you also missed a call from Brian.”

“Great,” he grunted.

“You didn’t miss anything important. He was going to hang up when you answered anyway.”

“Look, I know that you and I have our differences. I also know that we have not been exactly cordial to one another recently, but I need to ask you something. And I need you to answer me point blank.”

“Brian is in danger. There is not much time left,” Vengeance said more bluntly than the green eyed man expected.

“Tell me what’s wrong with him. I know you know, Vee. Please.” It was the first time he had used a nick name with him, and it was deeply heartfelt. He felt like this man, for lack of a more proper term, was a good friend from way back that he’d had a falling out with, but they still had each other’s back. While he wasn’t 100% sure that was the case, he was becoming increasingly convinced that he did in fact have a desire to look out for him.

“Zack, you know what’s wrong.”

“No, I don’t. Please just tell me. Give it to me straight.”

“He’s dying, Zack.”

The words hit him like a ton of bricks. Truth be told, he was pretty sure that was the case. He had had dreams about it. He felt it in his gut. He had known that’s where all of this was heading long before the lead had ever showed any signs of issues; but to hear it out loud crushed his world. All of which was why he had been struggling so much himself these last few months. Letting his best friend die wasn’t an option to him; but that is exactly where the crux of the issue laid.

“We need to take him.”

“I can’t just take him, Vee.”

“Do you want him to die?”

“You know I don’t!” he growled and slammed his fist into the table so hard that it split several of his knuckles.

“Then we must take him.”

“I can’t! I can’t do it, Vengeance! I can’t do what was done to me! You can’t take people without giving them a choice! It’s wrong! He would never forgive me!”

“Zack, I need you to listen to me. I know you’re hurt. I know how it rocked your life when you were taken, it rocked mine as well. What you don’t understand is that there is so much more to Brian, his life, your friendship, and your combined safety than you could ever know right now.”

“Then tell me, damnit!” he demanded with a roar so great that it caused the light little pips and tweets of the birds in the distance to stop cold.

“I can’t. Not right now.” Lifting his hands in a truce type of motion, he flicked his left hand in a way that caused the bleeding sores to heal on the other man’s fingers. He then continued on as calmly as he could so as not to further agitate the already furious hybrid. “Look, you need Brian every bit as much as he needs you. You have to take him, or he’ll die.”

“Then I’ll heal him!”

“You don’t have that ability.”

“Then I’ll find someone who will!”

“Zack, please. I won’t tell you to calm down, but I will ask you to sit again. Please, sit back down.” Leaning back to align his own body language with the peaceful vibe he was requesting from the guitarist, he waited until the other man did as he said. “I will not lie to you and tell you that it is entirely impossible to bring someone back once they’ve died without being taken. You already know something about that because of how things went with Jimmy, but it’s not as cut and dried as it sounds. If Brian dies of anything other than supernatural cause, for all intents and purposes, he’s lost. Do you follow me?”

“No.”

“What part is confusing you?”

“The part you said about Jimmy.”

“What?”

“You said I know something about ‘that’, meaning someone coming back after they died, because of how things went with Jimmy.”

“Right.”

With a shake of his head, the rhythm pressed, “Jimmy went downhill that summer after he took me, and we lost him in December because of it. We know that he died of an accidental overdose. I know it in my heart, our friends know, everyone knows that’s how we lost him. You’re acting like he took his own life, and that is not true!”

“I’m not saying he took his own life, not at all. Quite the contrary.”

“What do you mean, quite the contrary? I asked you a question and told you to be straight with me, but it was implied that I wanted you to be straight with me for the duration of this conversation.”

“And I am. I am not saying that Jimmy took his life.”

“Then what the hell are you saying?”

“You have to be joking, Zack.” Green eyes that mirrored the winged man’s widened slightly and he flicked a brow up curiously at him. “You mean to tell me you never suspected that he….”

“What, Vengeance?”

“I am really surprised that after all your wondering and questioning about that exact thing, that you never solidly came up to that conclusion. Zack, Jimmy didn’t die that night.”

“WHAT?”