Handle With Care

(Jade's POV)

A week later, the day was finally here, Christmas Eve. My first one without my family, my first one without my parents. But it also was my first one with my new friends and my boyfriend. I had managed to somehow get almost everyone a gift except for KayT. We hadn't spoken since that day we fought at Melody's and she stayed away from me every time she came over. It hurt but in the end I was just glad to be rid of the negative feelings. Shae had told me she was throwing a huge Christmas party tonight at her house and invited all of us to come so of course I was mentally preparing myself for that whole situation. Chester had promised me that he wanted to spend Christmas with just me, because I was all he could ever ask for or want. It made me super happy, but deep down inside I still knew that there was definitely something he still hadn't told me. I knew they were going on tour, they leave in a week actually, but there was just something lingering inside that was practically begging to be let out. Things between us were great, we hadn't fought at all, we talked pretty much every day and saw each other at least once a day when we could. So you would think that everything was perfect, right? Not exactly.

I'm sure he had no idea, but I did in fact read the interview that he did for some magazine last week and I did see the part where he mentioned he had 'someone in mind' when they asked if he had someone special in his life. I had brought it up to Shae and she swore that it was his way of keeping me protected and safe from the media and the wrong people in the industry. She said he did it to keep our relationship free from anyone who would want to ruin it by making up lies. I guess I understood, really. He was doing it completely out of love and because he wanted to keep our relationship sacred from the outside world, I get it. But it still kind of hurt me that he was keeping me so hidden from the world when I wanted to be shown off. I wanted people to know that I was his and that he was mine, I wanted everyone to know that we were together, that we loved each other. But at the same time again, I guess I understood. Melody had pretty much said the same thing and that I should be happy he's looking out for me and the goodness of our relationship. I guess as usual I was just overthinking everything and somehow needing an answer for every situation that ever occurred no matter what it involved. Typical me, I suppose. Always damn curious.

I casually laid on my bed flat on my stomach, looking through all the messages over the last two months between Chester and I. We started off so friendly and then the next thing you know, it was like love at first sight. He's always made it clear that he cares a lot and very deeply about people and things, so I've always taken it into consideration that some subjects may cause him to get upset at times when I talked about them. But that was what really drew me to him, the way that he just felt so wholehearted about everything. He truly was a one of a kind person and I was so thankful to have met him when I did. He completely turned my world around and all for the right reasons. Occasionally though, KayT's words did get to me still. I tried my hardest not to let him control my thoughts but sometimes it was just too overpowering. I obviously told Chester about what had went down that day and he was completely disappointed that she would ever do something like that to me and even think about saying those hurtful things that she did. I told him how she said he was only dating me because he felt sorry for me and that he felt obligated to be with me. Of course he denied everything, saying that she only said what she did because she was just jealous. He kept repeating how much he loved me and that one day I would fully understand just how much, when he was traveling around the world and bringing me along with him. He had dreams for us, he had so much hope and an entire future planned out for us. I was extremely thrilled, I was. But something else always seemed to be weighing down on me whenever the thought of the future crossed my mind.

I looked at the time, seeing it was already four in the afternoon and Shae had asked everyone to be at her house around six. I knew I probably should be getting ready but that was the way I was. Always the last to get ready and always the first to be fashionably late. Good old Jay. "Hey, do you think this looks good on me?" Suddenly came Melody's voice from the edge of my bed. I glanced down at her, seeing she was wearing a plaid red and black dress with fishnets and a simple pair of flats. For a girl with hardly ever any hair on her head, she always knew how to look extremely girly and cute. I smiled wide, nodding in approval. "You look gorgeous Mel." She then proceeded to sit down, sighing some. "So how come you're not getting ready love? Everything okay?" I felt the urge to cry hit me all of a sudden, so I wasn't the least bit surprised when a couple of tears leaked out and rolled down my face. Melody sat next to me now, hugging me into her side. "Hey come on, it's Christmas Eve, what has you so down Jay?" I sniffled and sobbed, everything had me down. Everything was killing me on the inside, I felt like I was being torn apart into tiny bits and pieces.

"Everything has me down Mel, I don't think I can do this anymore. After what KayT said, I honestly don't think it's worth it anymore. I don't want people to talk bad about Chester, I don't want people to think he's wrong for dating someone just a bit younger than he is. I don't want anyone to say the hurtful things to him like they've said to me. I don't want anyone to try and destroy him and his band's image just because he's with me. It's not fair and it's certainly not worth it. He's leaving on tour in a week for I'm not sure how long, I think half a year? And I want him to only be worried about just that. The tour. Not me, not our relationship, nothing. I want him to stay focused on his career and his happiness. I want him to just forget all about me. I want him to break up with me, I want him to leave me. I want him to break my heart."

(Chester's POV)

"Jeez dude, that's a pretty nice bracelet you got her for a Christmas gift." Mike noted as we walked through the extremely overcrowded mall. I had just picked up Jay's present from the jewelry store and I wanted my best friend's opinion on it. "Do you think she'll like it?" I asked sort of worried. I knew she wasn't exactly the type to like any sort of fancy thing, but she truly deserved to have at least one expensive thing during her lifetime. He nodded with a smile "Who wouldn't? It's got black diamonds and silver, perfect for our little creature of the night friend." I laughed at the nickname he gave her, all the guys really got along great with her and Shae was practically like her older sister so it made me happy all around that everyone was so accepting and welcoming to her so quickly. "Thanks man. So what did you get Shae?" I knew he had been planning on keeping it a secret for as long as he possibly could, so when he held up a small black box I knew it was the perfect time. "I'm gonna ask her to marry me tonight. I've loved her for so long, it's only right you know?" I gave him a hard pat on the back, congratulating him excitedly. My two best friends were finally tying the knot.

We walked around as much as we could to kill time, seeing that it was already a little after four when I finally looked at the time. I still had to go home and get ready after I dropped off Mike, so I knew now was a good time to get going. We talked about how excited we were to play our first real U.S tour, how we couldn't wait to finally get the recognition we deserved. I had such high hopes for this band and now that we were starting to top charts in music, my dream was really starting to become a reality. Now the only thing that was missing was my dream girl, who was waiting patiently for me at home like she always does. I couldn't wait to see her, I had missed being able to hold her all night and kiss her whenever I felt like it. Jay was the one I could honestly see myself spending the rest of my life with, she just made me feel like I was the luckiest man in the world, I love her more than most of my friends and even she realizes, I couldn't honestly imagine being without her at all now.

After I had dropped Mike off back at home and told him I'd see him in a couple of hours at Shae's, I headed home quickly. I wanted to look my absolute best for my night with Jay, something like she hasn't ever seen before. I sent her a small text, saying how excited I was to be seeing her soon and that I had something special to give her later on. She replied with a simple see you soon with a heart. I smiled happily to myself when I finally pulled into my driveway and headed into the house. I was eager to get to the end of this night already, nothing could ruin this for me at all.

(Jade's POV)

As I stared at Chester's text saying how he had gotten me something special, I immediately started to cry. Fuck, why did this have to be so fucking hard? Why? "Jay...you can't do that! Clearly he'd be devastated without you! You're his number one supporter, you can't just abandon him now! Then you'll be no better than Ashley!" I felt her words hit me like a knife in the chest. She was right, I couldn't break up with him. That would be the most selfish and cold hearted thing that I could possibly do to him. He more than likely would be on the edge of death if I went and just broke his heart like that. Okay, so I had to do it smart. Maybe we didn't need to necessarily break up, maybe we just needed to take a break. While he was on tour and I finished school, we would just focus on ourselves. Sure we could still text each other or talk every once in a while to catch up, but I knew he needed to just keep himself occupied with his career and not me. Or else he was never going to get the attention he deserved if he had me to keep worrying about. I don't want to be a distraction to him. "Then what do I do, Mel? I love him, I really do. But I just think we need a break during this tour. I need to worry about school and he needs to worry about his music." She let a couple of tears fall before hugging me even tighter. "I know you're scared Jay, but you have to let the fear go."

The hours seemed to drag on slowly as I reluctantly gave in and got ready for the party. Melody and I drove over to Shae's house, agreeing that we wouldn't be home too late in order to bring in Christmas morning with Melody's mom. I could feel knots catch in my throat and my stomach was twisting constantly making me feel like I was going to throw up at any given moment. I don't know why I had to let things keep controlling me even though I swore that I was finished with being scared of everything and that I had changed my ways. When we finally pulled onto Shae's block, I nervously fidgeted with the strings on my blouse the entire walk up to her front door. I kept repeating over and over to myself that I couldn't do this, but Melody insisted that I could. "Just keep talking to him Jay, explain to him how you're feeling and that you don't want to break up with him. If he loves you like he truly says that he does, he'll understand exactly where you're coming from." I must have taken a million deep breaths before I even had the courage to ring the damn doorbell.

We were instantly greeted by Shae with a warm hug, insisting for us to come right in and make ourselves comfortable. I quickly spotted the guys in a far corner of the room as we walked inside. Mike motioned for us to come over, even against Melody's advice, we casually made our way to them. Chester's face lit up as soon as he realized I was in front of him, placing a huge kiss on my lips and wrapping his arms tightly around me. He looked so well dressed, it was like I was staring at a completely different person. "You look beautiful, as always babe. Mel that's a bad ass dress!" His excitement and genuine cheerfulness in his overall attitude and tone of voice made my heart beat heavy in my chest. I had honestly never seen him this happy before and it was destroying me completely for even thinking about breaking bad news to him at a special occasion like this one. I left Melody in the care of Brad and Dave as Chester whisked me away to the outside patio. He leaned down and kissed me harder on the lips this time, pulling me as close to him as I could be. "I'm really going to miss you, you know that don't you? This will be my first time ever being away from a girlfriend for a tour. It'll be hard but you know, I really think that this will work out perfectly for us. It's like we're supposed to be together. I know you'll be there supporting me in spirit and I'll be doing my best to make sure you're proud of me." I could feel the tears running down my cheeks.

So much for having a nice makeup job, now I know for sure I'd look like a mess after this was finished. He immediately tried his best to wipe them away with his thumb, kissing each side of my face as I sobbed lightly. Come on Jay, hold it together. "Don't cry Jay, please. This won't be goodbye forever, this will only be goodbye for a few months. I'll call you and text you whenever I can, you know that. I'm not going to completely just forget about you." Cue to the harder cries and sobs now. That's kind of what I basically am about to ask you to do, you amazing man. I'm going to pretty much break your heart shortly, so I hope you're ready for this to come to a horrific and tragic ending. "I-I-I'm sorry." The words just couldn't seem to come out of me as I tried my hardest to compose myself long enough to talk to him correctly. I couldn't do it, I just couldn't hurt him like this. "Hey guys, Shae wants to do our little gift exchange so we're ready inside." Mike said from the doorway. Chester nodded, keeping my face shielded away from him seeing my tears. "We'll be right in man." I sucked in a shaky breath as I tried to pull everything together. "You okay, babe?" His voice was now worried and soft, which made me want to cry more. I nodded trying to reassure him.

Thankfully he believed me and we headed back inside with everyone gathered in the large living room. We all stood around while Shae handed gifts from under the tree with our names on them. I noticed mine was incredibly shiny and looked professionally wrapped. This couldn't possibly be the surprise Chester had told me about. Could it? I glanced over at Melody who also had a gift of her own tightly gripped in her hands. She gave me a questioning glance that I just shrugged, shaking my head sadly. I didn't get a chance to tell him anything, honestly. All I did was break down and completely forget about what it was I had to tell him. I stared up at Chester who had a huge grin plastered on his face. "I really hope you like it babe." He said sweetly in my ear, which instantly made me feel like I was going to pass out. "Everyone, before we open our gifts, I have a little something special that I wanted to do first. Shae, this is a really crazy gift I think you're going to absolutely love." Mike spoke up suddenly before proceeding to drop down onto one knee, taking out a small box from his jacket pocket, making the entire room suddenly going speechless and earn gasping noises from all of us. Shae's face almost on cue filled with tears as she covered her mouth with her hands. "My gift to you, is this. With the approval of your brother of course, I want to know, will you marry me, Shae?" And of course, as if she would say anything different, she screamed yes.

We all clapped and congratulated the two, toasting our drinks to them. I was so happy that Shae was finally going to be with Mike forever just like she always wanted. They were a perfect match for each other, it was only right. I then remembered the box of my own I was clutching in my very hands. I took another quick glance up at Chester before he had asked me to open it. I hesitated some but eventually got it open. What was inside just about made me have another heart attack. It was a beautiful silver bracelet embedded with a few black diamonds. It obviously was very expensive and if it wasn't for him being beside me, I probably would have fainted in front of everyone. "Chester..." I managed to somehow only say his name before he placed a soft kiss to the side of my face. I stared at it in complete awe, admiring its beauty. "Do you like, babe?" I shook my head, my eyes still transfixed on the beautiful stones. I didn't deserve this, not especially after the things I needed to say. "It's beautiful, but Chester..we really need to talk." His face seemed to change some as I put the item back into it's box carefully, tucking it away into my bag. We made our ways through everyone before returning back to the cold outside. This time we sat on a small bench, a few inches apart.

I must have replayed the thoughts and words over in my mind a dozen times before I finally could even just begin a simple sentence to him. "You know I love you, don't you?" Great, this is how all average break ups started with. Not the best choice, Jay. I quickly started again before he could answer. "I mean ugh, Chester, you understand this is my first real relationship, you understand that this is going to be my first time ever being serious with someone. I love you, I really do. You're an amazing guy and you care so much about it, I'll never be able to repay you for all the things you've done for me over these couple of months. I know you're going to be leaving on tour for however long it takes, but I just think..I just feel...I think we need to take a break while you're gone."

(Chester's POV)

Hearing those words come from her lips just about broke my heart into pieces. She wanted to take a break? While I was gone? Did she really think that this was going to be too much of a burden on me? Did she really think that I wasn't going to be able to handle being away from her? I didn't fully understand why she had said what she did, so even as much as it hurt me, I had to ask her. "Is there someone else? Is that why you need time?" She looked at me with a sudden glare, narrowing her eyes. "How the fuck could you think there's someone else? You know I'm not that type of person! I just wanted to take a break because I wanted to see how it would feel! I wanted to see if I could be able to finish school and focus on myself without. That's all! I wanted you to focus on your career and your music, because that's your dream, Chester! I wanted you to be free from distractions, including me! I don't want to be the one to hold you back!" She was crying the entire time she spoke, only finally turning away from me when she had finished. I felt horrible for even asking her if there was another person, especially now since I heard what she was trying to get me to understand. It was totally acceptable, she was young and needed her space. I reached out to hold her but she relented, asking me to give her a minute. "Jade, please. I'm sorry. I didn't know you felt that way. But you're not a distraction to me, I love you." She threw her hands up in defeat, sobbing.

"I love you too, more than you know. But I just think this was too much for me to drag you into. I want a break. We need a break. So when the day of the tour starts, I want you to forget about me, Chester. I want you to act like I never existed. I want you to play the best damn shows of your life and just use that as a coping skill. I want you make me proud, Chester. I know you will, but just do it without thinking about me."