Monster in Hiding

December 25th,1999.

Christmas Day

Everything, everywhere hurt. My body, my mind, he’ll just breathing hurt like crazy. I could feel the weight of something pressing down on my wrist.

I felt like a thousand needles were being jammed into my body all at once. A stinging sensation found its way tearing down the back of my throat, forcing me to cough.

”S-she’s waking up!”

“She can’t fucking breathe! Go get a nurse to get that god damn thing out of her throat!”

“All of you need to step back. Elle? Elle can you hear me? You have a tube down your throat helping you to breathe, I need you to cough so I can take it out.”

I didn’t listen to the strange voice, but I found myself coughing none the less. I felt like the burning sensation increase momentarily before fading away altogether. Instead it now only felt as if I had just spent the past twenty minutes puking my guts up.

My chest was in total agony, as I slowly attempted opening my eyes. My previous coughing fit definitely did not help with the pain that was racking my body.

“Elle? Baby, how are you feeling?” Hearing the familiar voice, my eyes found the woman sitting next to the bed. Her hair was all over the place and her eyes had bright red rings around them from crying. She had her fingers wrapped around my hand, or what little of my hand wasn’t covered by a bright purple cast.

“W-what happened?” I croaked, my voice made it very obvious how dry my throat was. Reaching over Anna grabbed a small cup and filled it with water before holding it up to my lips. “Here, sip on this. You’ve been asleep for two days now.”

When I moved to sit up ever so slightly, my entire body screamed, and my body went dropping back down onto the bed. A hand found its way onto my shoulder, causing me to look to my left. My eyes came into contact with a pair of agonizingly beautiful hazel eyes. But they too were rimmed with red. “Take it easy, you were pretty roughed up.”

Suddenly, everything that had happened came rushing back to my mind. I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry.

“Matt.” I breathed, unable to believe he was here. He had gotten my message. Reaching up with my left hand, I placed my palm on his cheek. He very quickly leaned into my embrace before pressing a small kiss to the center of my palm.

The door to the room burst open, causing everyone to look over at the man in the white lab coat that came walking into the room. “Look who’s finally awake from her little cat nap.” It was obvious that he was trying to make light of the situation so it wasn’t so tense....it wasn’t working. When no one reacted to his joke the way he was expecting, he promptly cleared his throat and looked over the papers he was holding.

“Right, can I speak with Ms. Sutton alone please?” He seemed a bit on edge suddenly. My eyes scanned over the room, and I instantly felt bad that I hadn’t noticed the rest of the guys were also sitting in the room.

Ever so slowly, they all climbed to their feet and made their way out of the room. I kept my fingers wrapped tightly around Matt’s hand keeping him from walking out of the room. Anna looked at me as if asking if I was okay with her waiting outside, I silently nodded my head. Only once the door was closed did the doctor feel it was okay to begin whatever little speech it was he needed to give me.

“First, I would like to introduce myself. My name is Michael Harper, I am the one who performed the surgery you had upon arriving in our care. During that surgery we corrected some internal bleeding you had around your spleen. When the car came in impact with your body it shattered your wrist and cracked three of your ribs. Can you tell me if you remember anything from before that?”

Stepping forward, he brought a small light up and was testing the reactions of my pupils. “I remember it all.” I mumbled, squeezing my eyes shut briefly.

“Can you tell me what day it was when the accident occurred?” He questioned me while writing something down on the giant stack of papers. “December twenty-third, nineteen ninety-nine. I think it about maybe eight o’clock. What does this have to do with anything?” I questioned, growing more and more annoyed with all these questions.

“Wonderful! There doesn’t seem to be any gaps in your memory which is a good sign. Moving on.” He flashed us a smile. Before saying anything else, the door burst open and slammed against the wall. Both Jimmy and Johnny were standing in the doorway looking like they were out of breath.

“Matt, you’ve got to come quick!” Johnny gasped for air. “Justin was just admitted, he tried to kill himself.” Jimmy finished the sentence that Johnny had started. Almost instantly at the sound of his name the memory of what happened flashed through my mind, and fear filled my body.

“I’ll be right back.” Matt muttered, pressing a kiss to my forehead before running out of the room with his two friends. Dr. Harper almost seemed confused for a few moments.

“Would you like me to wait for him to return or should we just go ahead and finish?” At least he asked instead of just assuming. “Just go ahead and tell me, I’ll tell him later.” I sighed, my voice once more coming out as a croak. Mimicking Anna’s earlier actions, he reached over and handed me the small cup that was filled with water.

“Ms. Sutton, were you aware that you were pregnant before this accident?” His words took me by surprise, causing me to choke on the water he had given me. “What?” I choked out. His face fell ever so slightly, getting his answer.

“I’m sorry to have to inform you that you had what was called a ectopic pregnancy, this is where the fertilized egg implants outside of the uterus. Of course in this state, the egg wouldn’t have survived, and it was also the source of some of your bleeding.” My minding was reeling at the news the man in front of me had told me.

The only time Matt and I hadn’t used protection was the night a few weeks ago when he had surprised me at the dorms.

A sob found its way lodged in my throat as I sat silently in my hospital bed. I hadn’t even known I was pregnant, I hadn’t even wanted to be pregnant, so why does it feel so bad knowing that I had lost it?

“Your vitals look good after your surgery, but we are going to keep you for a few more days just to make sure everything stays the way it should be. I’ve ordered some medicine for your pain, and a nurse will be by with it soon. If you need anything don’t hesitate to ask.” Dr. Harper walked out of the room leaving me in silence.

While the door was still open, Anna slipped back into the room without any hint of any of the boys behind her. She came walking over to the side of the bed and once more took my hand in her own. “How are you feeling sweetie? Can I get you anything?” She hummed, reaching up and pushing a strand of hair out of my face.

“Matt.” I mumbled, feeling my bottom lip start to tremble ever so slightly. Anna seemed to sense my distress, as any mother would, and ran out of the room to find the person I had requested. Only Anna never returned to the room. In her place was Matt. He came storming in with a worried, and angry look on his face; but when his eyes landed on my his features softened.

It only when I saw him that tears welled up and began falling from my eyes. Holding my arms out towards him, I whimpered when my body suddenly shifted. Two large steps and he was standing next to my bed, one extra move and he was laying on the bed with me.

His arms wrapped around me gently as he pulled me into his side. I buried my face in his chest, allowing my tears to fall onto the black shirt he was wearing. “What’s wrong sweetheart? What happened?” He questioned, running his fingers through my hair. He knew it was one of the only ways to comfort me, and calm me down. Yet I still couldn’t bring myself to form the words. They were there, the sentence played out in my mind- I just couldn’t say it.

So I shook my head instead.

“Was it something the doctor said?” He questioned. I could feel his eyes on my face as he looked down at me. I nodded my head, sniffling. “Do you want to talk about it?” I shook my head.

Honestly, I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to tell him. How would he feel about this whole thing?

Matt didn’t say anything else, and instead just continued to run his fingers through my hair. We stayed like that, even when the guys came back, and when the nurse came in with my medicine. I lay in Matt’s arms with my head resting against his chest, his arms wrapped protectively around me.

No one asked what had happened between the two of us, or why I had very obviously been crying. Instead they just sat around my hospital room, making idle conversation until I fell asleep.