Blog Posts from a Serial Killer
2008
[June 3, 2008]
Hello everyone! My name is Jacob ---------, I am 10 years old and I live in -------------. School just got out for Summer and I'm really sick of having no friends. Nobody likes me and I think its because I look funny. That's what people think. Someone told me I look like I have Steve Booshimmy eyes. I don't even know what that is.
Anyway, since no one talks to me, I decided to talk to you (whoever decides to read this). If you want to be inspired, just remember this: if people decide they don't want to be a part of your life, tell them its their loss because you're awesome!
Follow this blog for more updates! :)
[June 12, 2008]
I got bullied at the park today again. I'm really done with people. I was making a pretend salad with leaves, some mulch and some weeds and the guys at the park called me something really bad (like something really, really bad I can't even type it) and they kicked me and crushed my salad into the dirt.
I don't get it? Why do people think its cool to bully? Like, it really isn't and its really mean. My mom said its because they feel bad about themselves so they take it out on other people. I guess that makes sense. What do you think?
Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually the problem.
I'll try to post something less annoying next time. Sorry to all my followers. (All 3 of you).
[July 3, 2008]
I forgot I had this! I need to tell you guys my new idea! I just got back from a short summer camp that my mom signed me up for! It was called Culinary Adventures and they taught us all this cool cooking stuff! Anyways, I've always loved food and cooking and stuff (I re-read my other posts and saw that I actually have proof in June with my pretend salad). So, my idea is to become a famous chef! I'm not just saying this, though, without a reason. I won first place in all the contests at camp, and I got an award for Best Chef at the end! The camp leaders really loved me, I could tell. I told my mom all about it on the way home but she was kinda busy on the phone. But I have you guys, thankfully! Its good to have someone who listens.
[July 5, 2008]
I cooked dinner for my mom and she liked it I think. She ate it pretty quickly, though. I think she wanted to get back to her computer to work. She's trying to get more money or our electricity will stop working.
My life will not be like this in the future, guys. I'm gonna be rich, for sure. Chefs usually are. And they're loved by everyone, and everyone has to listen to them or they get fired.
Also, thank you to the new followers! I now have 5 people reading my stuff! I promise I'll start writing more interesting things!
[July 10, 2008]
My life sucks. Its not even worth it anymore. I don't wanna do this.
[July 11, 2008]
Sorry, guys, I'm trying to post something, but its hard to feel motivated anymore. You probably don't even care.
[July 14, 2008]
i cant do this. why does this have to happen to me? i hate people. they just disappoint. thats it. stay away from people.
[July 16, 2008]
wow, great. back to 3 followers. i guess people just cant handle real talk. ill try to be better. just not today. not feeling it.
[July 20, 2008]
i think im quitting this blog until i feel like talking. plus i only have 1 follower now (aka blogreader_1), so i guess no matter what i do, nobody wants to listen. well, i hate you all. you can unfollow. i might delete this blog, but i can't figure out how right now.
[July 21, 2008]
whoever is my only follower can go away! I know you're just here to bully me. That message you sent me was bs. But words can never hurt me, because I'm pretty much used to it by now!
[July 23, 2008]
I don't know why you pretend like you can't see my replies to your emails, blogreader_1. So here's what I have to say to you since you're still following me:
go the frick away!!! you're not funny and i'm not doing that thing you said! That's sick and disturbing and I'm blocking you now!
good riddance.
[July 25, 2008]
blogreader_2, really? if you're gonna make a new account and try to follow me again, you might as well be more discreet. . .
whatever, psycho. Do your thing. I'm not stopping you. Just no more emailing me your disturbed ideas.
[July 28, 2008]
blogreader_2, my only loyal follower. Your email was pretty interesting. But I'm not gonna humor you.
I'm gonna be off for a while because I'm starting to self-teach some new cooking techniques! Here comes the new sensation. Watch out everyone, Jacob is coming!
Hello everyone! My name is Jacob ---------, I am 10 years old and I live in -------------. School just got out for Summer and I'm really sick of having no friends. Nobody likes me and I think its because I look funny. That's what people think. Someone told me I look like I have Steve Booshimmy eyes. I don't even know what that is.
Anyway, since no one talks to me, I decided to talk to you (whoever decides to read this). If you want to be inspired, just remember this: if people decide they don't want to be a part of your life, tell them its their loss because you're awesome!
Follow this blog for more updates! :)
[June 12, 2008]
I got bullied at the park today again. I'm really done with people. I was making a pretend salad with leaves, some mulch and some weeds and the guys at the park called me something really bad (like something really, really bad I can't even type it) and they kicked me and crushed my salad into the dirt.
I don't get it? Why do people think its cool to bully? Like, it really isn't and its really mean. My mom said its because they feel bad about themselves so they take it out on other people. I guess that makes sense. What do you think?
Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually the problem.
I'll try to post something less annoying next time. Sorry to all my followers. (All 3 of you).
[July 3, 2008]
I forgot I had this! I need to tell you guys my new idea! I just got back from a short summer camp that my mom signed me up for! It was called Culinary Adventures and they taught us all this cool cooking stuff! Anyways, I've always loved food and cooking and stuff (I re-read my other posts and saw that I actually have proof in June with my pretend salad). So, my idea is to become a famous chef! I'm not just saying this, though, without a reason. I won first place in all the contests at camp, and I got an award for Best Chef at the end! The camp leaders really loved me, I could tell. I told my mom all about it on the way home but she was kinda busy on the phone. But I have you guys, thankfully! Its good to have someone who listens.
[July 5, 2008]
I cooked dinner for my mom and she liked it I think. She ate it pretty quickly, though. I think she wanted to get back to her computer to work. She's trying to get more money or our electricity will stop working.
My life will not be like this in the future, guys. I'm gonna be rich, for sure. Chefs usually are. And they're loved by everyone, and everyone has to listen to them or they get fired.
Also, thank you to the new followers! I now have 5 people reading my stuff! I promise I'll start writing more interesting things!
[July 10, 2008]
My life sucks. Its not even worth it anymore. I don't wanna do this.
[July 11, 2008]
Sorry, guys, I'm trying to post something, but its hard to feel motivated anymore. You probably don't even care.
[July 14, 2008]
i cant do this. why does this have to happen to me? i hate people. they just disappoint. thats it. stay away from people.
[July 16, 2008]
wow, great. back to 3 followers. i guess people just cant handle real talk. ill try to be better. just not today. not feeling it.
[July 20, 2008]
i think im quitting this blog until i feel like talking. plus i only have 1 follower now (aka blogreader_1), so i guess no matter what i do, nobody wants to listen. well, i hate you all. you can unfollow. i might delete this blog, but i can't figure out how right now.
[July 21, 2008]
whoever is my only follower can go away! I know you're just here to bully me. That message you sent me was bs. But words can never hurt me, because I'm pretty much used to it by now!
[July 23, 2008]
I don't know why you pretend like you can't see my replies to your emails, blogreader_1. So here's what I have to say to you since you're still following me:
go the frick away!!! you're not funny and i'm not doing that thing you said! That's sick and disturbing and I'm blocking you now!
good riddance.
[July 25, 2008]
blogreader_2, really? if you're gonna make a new account and try to follow me again, you might as well be more discreet. . .
whatever, psycho. Do your thing. I'm not stopping you. Just no more emailing me your disturbed ideas.
[July 28, 2008]
blogreader_2, my only loyal follower. Your email was pretty interesting. But I'm not gonna humor you.
I'm gonna be off for a while because I'm starting to self-teach some new cooking techniques! Here comes the new sensation. Watch out everyone, Jacob is coming!