Shadows From the Abyss

“Fuck me up!” Tre yelled as he entered the white tent backstage.

“You gotta sign this first,” Art smirked, sliding a piece of paper across the bar.

Tre picked up the paper and raised an eyebrow. “You’re having me sign a waiver to drink?”

“You told me to bring my A game, so I’m covering my ass for when you think you’re dying tomorrow,” Art slid a pen across the bar.

“ ‘I, Frank Wright, being of sound mind and body,’ that’s debatable, ‘give Arthur Miller permission to nuke my liver and wreck my soul with alcohol, per my request on September 1st, 2017 in Raleigh, North Carolina. I relinquish all rights to yell at, disparage, or slander my bar tender in any way, shape or form. I told him to destroy me, and he did, and it is my own damn fault.’ You should be a fuckin lawyer with this.”

“My Dad taught me that one. Also, if you ever taze someone in public, jump back and yell ‘Oh God he’s having a seizure’.”

Tre signed the makeshift waiver and slammed the pen down. “Now fuck me up, kid!”
**********************************************************
Shawn sat beside Billie, who was being good and drinking water while everyone around them in the packed tent were becoming more intoxicated. Liquor and beer were freely flowing, a game of beer pong was going on, Pearl Jam was blaring from the Bluetooth speaker Art had brought with him, and everyone was having a blast. Crew members, both bands, the drivers were even letting loose. No one went anywhere until late the following night so who cared tonight? And Shawn’s boyfriend was the one leading the charge and opening the gates for debauchery.

“Have you talked to my sister today?” Shawn asked.

Billie nodded. “She’s still pretty upset about the dog but it’ll be okay.”

The music suddenly changed, Pearl Jam fading out and Fuck Time causing everyone in the tent to erupt with cheers, singing along as loud as they could.

“Oh Jesus,” Shawn groaned, catching a glimpse of Art screaming along at the top of his lungs.

“Your boy knows how to work a crowd,” Billie laughed.

“Baby!” Art called out, pushing past several people with three drinks in hand.

“How’s obliterating my drummer going?” Billie asked as Art handed him a glass.

“Really well; I don’t wanna kill him but he’s gonna be down for the count after two more. I brought you a whiskey sour, a Glass Slipper for my Prince Charming, and whatever the hell I want for me,” He grinned boldly. “Gentlemen, here’s to the future,”
*******************************************************************
Art put his head back and smiled before pulling the cigarette out of his mouth and blowing a plume of smoke into the humid night air. It had been a fantastic night running his makeshift bar for the bands and crew. He had over two hundred dollars in cash from tips, a lot of alcohol left over, and a perfect boyfriend sitting beside him in the open doorway of the van to share a cigarette and bottle of Jack Daniel’s with. “How’d I do tonight?”

“Pretty fantastic,” Shawn smiled before taking a swig from the bottle. “So did you get Dad to bed okay?”

Art tried not to laugh. When Tre had finally put his head down on the bar and admitted defeat, he had been kind enough to carry him back to the bus to put him to bed.

“Alright good sir,” He grunted, loading the older man into his bunk, “it’s bedtime.”

“You did good, kid.” Tre slurred with a lazy smile. “You did fuckin good.”

Art pulled Tre’s shoes off and tried to make him somewhat comfortable in the confined space. “Oh, just between you and me, no big deal or anything but I’m gonna marry your son one day.”

“Wha?”

“Yup, I’m marrying your kid one day. Okay, good night!” He quickly shut off the light in the bunk and pulled the curtain closed before scampering off the bus and running back to his position behind the bar.

“Yeah, no big deal. He’s gonna be so hung over tomorrow though. So what’d you think of my playlist?”

Shawn blew a pencil of smoke and nodded. “Good shit; a little self aggrandizing at times but good.”

“Boss Ass Bitch is my anthem, stay mad about it.” Art leaned against the metal door frame of the white van and sighed happily. “I’m a lucky son of a bitch.”

“How so?” Shawn flicked the butt of his cigarette into the gravel beneath them and leaned against his boyfriend’s shoulder while rubbing his upper back lightly.

“Came home from Kuwait mostly in one piece, I can still fuckin walk which is a damn miracle on its own, I have a pretty sweet job, I found an awesome city to live in and I met a great man along the way. How many people can say they’ve been that successful in a short period of time?” He sat there, soaking in his pride, before looking around the backstage area.”Life blows my fucking mind sometimes.”

“Yeah,” Shawn added simply, knowing Art would elaborate.

“Like…I promise I didn’t Google you the second I saw you, but after you agreed to dinner I did just to be sure, ya know? And it’s just fucking mind blowing that all of this is part of your life! Your Dad is in one the of biggest punk rock bands on the planet! I was never a fanboy or anything but I knew who they were and owned American Idiot so it’s just such a small fuckin world that you of all people like me enough to tolerate my bullshit and drag me around behind you! It’s been almost six months and you still like me. That’s amazing to me; shit, I don’t even like me most days!” A ping of realization suddenly hit him and the smile fell off his face. “Oh fuck, you’re gonna have to meet my family at some point.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“I’m so sorry.”

Shawn laughed lightly. “What’s wrong with them?”

Art rolled his eyes and groaned. “I come from a family of Navy brats and I was the surprise child, I’ll put it that way.”

“Babe I’m sure your family is fine. Shit, mine’s dysfunctional at the best of times.”

“Dad’s a great man and he taught me a lot and has a sense of humor but the rest can get fucked. My sister is a bitch, my brother pretends I don’t exist half the time, and my mother is the driest human being I’ve ever met. She is so fucking fake it hurts my soul.”

Shawn smirked. Art didn’t know the half of how bad things had gotten after his mother had passed away and how awful his family could actually be. But he decided now wasn’t the time to destroy his illusions of grandeur.

“My older brother Mark is an attorney and was the all American quarterback golden boy growing up. My sister Christina is…I’d call her a cunt but she lacks the warmth and depth. She’s in the Navy just like Daddy,” He said in a mocking tone. “I can’t fucking stand her. And Mother is a real estate agent who bullshits that she has the perfect family with the perfect white picket fence house. I guess she did for awhile and then I showed up and wrecked that.”

“You didn’t wreck anything.”

Art laughed dryly. “I’m the one who acted out and did all the drugs and played the loud aggressive music and picked the fights. And I had the audacity to think guys are sexy and destroyed her conservative Christian image of how the world should be! She had no clue how to deal with me so she threw me in the Army to let them sort me out.” He cocked his head to the side, a stern look on his face and put on a nasally Wisconsin accent. “Arthur Ray Miller that is NOT how the Lord would want you to act! If Jesus came back he’d shake his head and be ashamed of you!”

Shawn was having difficulty keeping his mouth shut. ‘Yeah well at least your brother didn’t try to kill and rape you while saying you’re the reason his life is shit and your Dad didn’t turn his back on you and say you were crazy when he found you beat up and mentally wrecked.’ This wasn’t a pissing match so he just gritted his teeth and let his lover vent.

“Sorry,” Art finally said softly with a sigh, “I shouldn’t have gone off like that. I just…I know you’ll have to meet them at some point but I really don’t want to put you around them. They don’t get it, ya know? They can’t see beyond themselves and how nasty and hurtful they can be.”

Babe, you’re preaching to the god damn choir. No, Shawn, don’t say that. Let him talk it out.

Art looking up and smiled softly. “I love you. A lot. I just want to keep you safe and happy.”

Shawn just smiled and kissed his temple. “I love you too.”

The pair sat in silence, enjoying each other’s company as the sticky night air engulfed them. Art tried to conceal how utterly exhausted he was. Running a bar on your own for several hours and having to keep drunken idiots entertained and at your beck and call took a lot of energy and stamina. It’s one thing to do it with a team, but on your own you’re running from end to end and have three people talking to you at once. It was draining but he had done it for five hours straight and made it look easy. When the tent was finally clear and he was alone to close up, he downed a shot of whiskey and just sat for a few minutes, his heart racing and his head spinning, but filled with a feeling of accomplishment that he had stayed confident and worked the chaos in his favor. It was something to add to his resume for sure.

“Baby,” Shawn said in a low voice.

“What’s up, beautiful?”

Shawn sucked up some courage before saying fuck it. He knew what he wanted right now.
Art’s eyes fluttered open as he felt his lover’s lips on his neck and his hand sliding down to his hip. “I’m awake now!”

“Good,” Shawn breathed, putting a hand firmly on his chest and shoving him on his back before moving over top of him and straddling his hips.

“Whoa whoa hang on,” Art clumsily fished his phone out of his back pocket and pulled up Spotify. “I wanna get some tunes going to set the mood.”

Shawn sighed and rolled his eyes, trying to be patient. Any patience he had disappeared when Fuck Time started playing again. “Nope! I’m done!”

Art cackled with laughter as Shawn got up and started walking away. “Baby! Baby come back!”

“First of all fuck you,” Shawn started.

“I wish you would-“

“Shut up!” He bit the inside of his cheek and tried not to laugh himself. “You’re a bastard and that’s fuckin weird.”

Art offered up his phone with a grin. “Here, you set the mood since I suck at being serious. I’m sorry, doll, it was too easy.”

“You’re too easy,” Shawn scoffed as he scrolled through the app.

“Rude,”

“Accurate. Here, this is better and not performed by anyone I’m related to.” He selected Casual Affair by Panic! At the Disco and tossed the phone in the back seat.

Looks innocent enough, doesn't it?
But sometimes there are dangers involved that never meet the eye
No matter where you meet a stranger
Be careful if they are too friendly

Art raised an eyebrow, a look of concern on his face. “Are you about to harvest my kidneys?”

Shawn rolled his eyes again before climbing back in the van and closing the door behind him. “Just shut up and kiss me, ya loveable idiot.”

Stay for as long as you have time
So the mess that we'll become
Leaves something to talk about
Just lay in the atmosphere
A casual affair (Hush-hush, don't you say a word)

Billie stepped off the bus and shut the door behind him before lighting up his cigarette and leaned back. A minute later, Mike stumbled out behind him, still very drunk from earlier. “Man, go to bed,”

“In a minute, I wanna get some air first. It’s fuckin hot in there.” Mike slumped against the side of the bus and slid down into a low squat. “What a night.”

“Yeah. Good times though.”

“Hell yeah.” They remained silent for a moment before Mike perked up. “Do you hear that?”

“Hear what?”

He peered around the corner and suddenly laughed. “Oh shit!”

“What?”

“Someone’s fuckin in the van!”

“Oh Jesus, again?”

“Gotta get it in where you can.”

Billie shook his head and took a long drag, fondly remembering the time he and Iva had been getting down in the passenger seat of the Mustang. Everything had been going great and they were both about to hit climax when he accidentally hit the recliner switch and flew forward and head butted her, giving her a bloody nose and causing her to slam against the dashboard. Needless to say, no one got to cum and they never tried to fuck in the car again. “Gotta know where your switches are,” He mumbled.

Mike let out a long sigh before standing back up. “Alright, I think I’m good. Don’t stay up too late, brother.”

“Night, dude.” Billie stood outside alone for a few minutes, nursing his cigarette and meditating. Tomorrow night they had a show and then went over to Tampa and would finally have a hotel. Thank God. The buses were great but they got claustrophobic and stale after awhile. And soon Brittney and Sara would join them, which was awesome but always reminded him how lonely it was being a widower of almost seven years. He had tried dating but it just made the heartache worse when that magical connection was never there. He looked up at the inky black sky above and found the moon. One thing he and Iva had always done when he was away on tour was send pictures back and forth of their nightly moon view. It was cheesy but nice to feel connected even though there were thousands of miles between them. He just hoped wherever her soul was in the universe, there was a good view.

“Good evening, sir,” Art chirped cheerfully as he and Shawn came around the corner hand in hand with a leftover bottle of Jack Daniel’s.

“Where the hell have you two been?” Billie asked as he put out the butt of his cigarette.

“Doing hood rat shit with our hood rat friends,” Shawn smirked. “Whiskey?”

“Nah I’m good,”

“More for us,” Art grinned. “Alright, night Billie.”

“Night boys,” Suddenly something clicked in his head. “Wait. What the hell were you two doing five minutes ago?”

“Not a damn thing,” Art replied, trying to frantically pull Shawn up the stairs.

“You two were fuckin in the van!”

“Shut up, you’ll wake Dad,” Shawn hissed.

“Jesus Christ, Shawn!”

“I’m an angel; I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Art laughed, taking the bottle of whiskey and running to the back room of the bus. “Good night!”

“Shawn Franklin Wright, what the hell were you thinking?”

Shawn just shrugged again, a cocky smirk on his lips. “Gotta get good lovin in when ya can. Night!”

Billie stood there in the dark, beyond perplexed. “Fuckin hell, when did you grow up?”

Shawn quietly ran through the bus and into the back room, closing the door and jumping onto the bed and snuggling up with Art. The pair lay there, giggling like idiots and kissing each other sweetly.
“We’re gonna be in so much shit for this,” Shawn whispered.

“Worth it,” Art grinned.