After the Crash

“I’ll get Ky in here to walk you,” Sam said as he finished changing the bandages and checking everything. I looked at him, unsure. He just shrugged, “think Ky trusts me to do anything she can do herself?” He sent the girls in. They brought me food and continued with their nursing. Lola was reading to me when Jen joined them.

She walked over, putting her hand on my head, “you feel a lot better.” She moved her hand, and smiled, “Sarah says we’ll probably be moving soon, so you must be doing good.” She shrugged, “says Ky’s just gotta get us supplied and we’ve gotta get you out of that bed, walkin’.”

“Did she leave already,” I looked at her, raising my eyebrow.

“No,” she shook her head, “I think she’s going first thing tomorrow, with Alex.”

“With Alex,” I raised my eyebrow.

Lola put down the book and smiled, “I think he likes her.”

I raised my eyebrow, and Jen nodded, “I know, I mean, what a waste. Ky’s barely a girl, she gave up all femininity after the crash. Doesn’t he know that there are plenty other available women here, who would actually be receptive to a man’s attention.”

“I think it’s kind of sweet,” Lola shrugged, “I mean, I just figured she’d be alone forever.”

Val laughed, “at least until she gets herself killed.”

“Who’s getting themselves killed,” Ky leaned against the doorway with her eyebrow raised. She was wearing her usual hard expression, with her arms crossed. The girls stayed quiet and then she looked at me, “good news,” she straightened up, “Sam’s given me permission to take you out for a walk.”

“We can take Ren for a walk,” Jen objected.

“I’d love for you to take it off my hands,” she rolled her eyes, “unfortunately, I have a few things I need to talk with him about.” Jen opened her mouth to argue but Ky stopped her, “Jen, you can’t support his weight, and unless you know the details regarding our plans for the party’s movement, I think it’s best that I handle this.” She raised her eyebrow. Jen rolled her eyes and left the room, and the other girls followed. Ky looked at me, then moved into the room. She grabbed a shirt and tossed it toward me as I sat up, then she grabbed my shoes. I pulled the shirt over my head, then pushed away the blanket, moving my legs until they were hanging over the edge. I slipped into my boots, then I moved to stand. It didn’t go well. I hadn’t moved for days and was unsteady. “Slow down,” she came over and helped stabilize me, “let me help you,” she put my arm over her shoulder, “you should probably lean on me until you feel comfortable.”

I smiled down at her as she helped me up, “my intention was always to take the weight off your shoulders, not put more on them.”

She looked at me, “trust me, I hardly feel any weight.” She shook her head, “not from you, you’ve been nothing but an asset to this party, and I’ve given you little credit.” She steadied me, and smiled, “now let’s get you out of this room, I’m sure you could use the fresh air.”

“The air’s felt a lot less heavy since I woke the other day,” I looked at her, but she moved her head forward as she began leading me out of my room, and then out of the cabin. We walked outside into the fresh spring air, and it did feel nice.

“You good,” she looked at me, as we made our way down the porch stairs.

“Yeah,” I nodded, trying to hold my weight as much as possible, “you sure it’s not too much pressure on your shoulder,” I raised my eyebrow.

“My shoulder’s fine,” she guided me further from the cabin, “I’ve got you, whenever you need, you can lean on me.” I smiled down at her, but again she turned her eyes forward, “Sam says you’re healing well, but let me know if you’re in pain or you need to stop, or anything. I don’t want to make things worse by rushing you.”

I looked at her, “I know we’ve gotta move soon.”

She looked at me, “but not too fast.”

I shrugged, “we can’t stay in the same spot forever, Ky.”

She let out a deep breath, nodding, and turning her gaze forward, “how are you feeling?”

“Here,” I raised my eyebrow, “with you?”

“Walking,” she said.

I let out a breath, “it feels fine.”

She nodded, “I’m glad to hear, but you will tell me if you’re in any pain?” I nodded, and she did the same. “I’d like to move the day after tomorrow, but as I said,” she held half my weight as we walked around the exterior of the cabin, “right now your recovery is my primary concern.” I smiled at her and she let out a deep breath, “that being said, we need more supplies. I think I found a safe place for trade, about half a day’s trip. I’m going to head there tomorrow morning and pick up the supplies. There’s a decent amount of stuff around here worth trading, and I keep a stash of valuables just in case.”

“You’re going alone,” I asked, though I already the answer.

“No,” she shook her head, “Alex will go with …”

“Like hell he will,” I stopped her. She looked at me, and I stopped in my tracks. “He’s not going with you,” I straightened up, as I looked down at her.

She raised her eyebrow, “yes, he…”

“It’s not happening, Ky,” I looked at her, “he’s untrustworthy, he’s done nothing to prove himself, and he’s … he’s just not going with you.”

She let out a slight laugh before letting go of me, “Ren, I’m not asking your permission, I’m filling you in on a decision that’s already been made. This is a courtesy notice, because you are part of this party.”

I shook my head, “I’ll go with you.”

“You’re in no condition,” she said. I opened my mouth and she shook her head, “no, you are not up to your full capacity, you’ve gotta take a step back until you’ve regained your strength.” She took a deep breath, “I don’t want anything else to happen to you.”

“I don’t want you alone with him,” I looked at her.

“That’s not your choice,” she said.

“I’d feel better being there,” I looked at her.

“I’d feel better if you were safe,” she said.

“And I’d feel better if you were safe,” I shook my head infuriated with her, “but that’s not an option with you, Ky.” She crossed her arms and looked down. “You run head first toward danger without a second thought,” I looked at her, “without consulting anyone. I’m supposed to just let you?”

She looked up, “as I said, I’m not asking permission.”

“You know I don’t trust Alex,” I held her hard expression with one to match, “and I don’t think you should either.”

She raised an eyebrow, “you’d rather I go alone?”

I let out a deep breath, trying to straighten up as much as I could, “I’d rather you go with me, or someone else, but I’d rather you go alone than go with him.”

She nodded, “I think that’s enough walking for now.” I looked at her, she had her arms crossed, no longer supporting me. “I’ll have someone else try again, once you’ve gotten some rest,” she said.
She raised an eyebrow, “I trust you can make it back on your own?”

I held her eyes, “I hope you’ve made him understand your position on interest.” She lifted her head, giving me an unsure expression. I looked at her, “I know he’s shown some.”

“Is that why you object to him accompanying me,” she raised an eyebrow, “have I given you any reason to believe that’s an issue?” I said nothing. Her expression hardened, then she nodded, “glad to know you have such faith in me.”

“Ky,” I appealed. She just shook her head and walked back toward the cabin. I let out a deep breath before returned to the room without any help and then immediately took one of the pain pills that Sam gave me. I was angry, and I didn’t feel like laying down or resting. I even snapped at the girls when they came in the room to bring me food. I apologized, almost immediately, as soon as I noticed the hurt look on their faces. Eventually, Sam came in and helped me up for another walk. He looked at me, shook his head, “what the hell’d you say to her, she’s seething.”

I shook my head, “don’t want her near him, can’t help it, not for a second, let alone a whole day trip.”

Sam laughed, “what’s the worst that happens?”

I raised my eyebrow, “he leads her straight into an ambush, gets her killed, or worse, she’s taken into PCD custody.”

“That could happen at any moment, any day,” he looked at me, “you know she doesn’t need protectin’, you don’t want her to go cuz you’re afraid of an emotional attachment.” I said nothing, and he just laughed, “and you’re ridiculous to believe there’s any chance of that.” I just nodded my head, knowing he was right. It didn’t change anything for me, but he was right.

Eventually, he left. Then the sun came down, and as the night grew later I heard the house settling down. The front door shut as someone took the first watch. I couldn’t sleep. I just looked at the ceiling. After a few minutes, my door opened. I looked over, I thought maybe she was dropping in, but it was Alex. I raised my eyebrow. “She’s not taking me with,” he looked at me, and I just sustained my expression. “I assume you had something to do with this,” he looked at me. I said nothing but couldn’t help but smile at the thought. “I’m just trying to help,” he said, “but you’d rather her go alone?” I nodded, and then he appealed, “and if she gets hurt?” I looked at him, raising his eyebrow at me, as I breathed in a heavy breath.

I opened my mouth but was interrupted. “What are you doing in here,” Ky looked at Alex. He said nothing, just put his hands up as he walked by her. He looked down at her with an eyebrow raised, pausing in the doorway. She had her arms crossed, returning the look right back. Finally, he left the room. She looked at me, arms still crossed, raising her eyebrow, “he botherin’ you?” I shook my head, and she just nodded. She made a move to leave.

“Ky,” I stood up, stopping her from leaving the room “wait.” She turned with her eyebrow raised. I approached her as I started “you know I hold you in the highest regard, right?” I moved toward her, “earlier,” I shook my head, “I didn’t mean to overstep or offend you in anyway.” I took another step toward her, and she looked at me. “My concern is with him, not you.” She didn’t say anything, just sent her eyes down. “I trust you completely,” she looked at me, unsure, “even if I don’t trust him, if you think taking him is the right thing to do, I trust you.”

“You trust me,” she looked up at me, letting out a slight scoff, “you don’t trust me.”

“I do,” I smiled at her, “but I also care about you.” She turned her head, but I put my hand on her arm, forcing her attention back, “I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to you, not if there’s anything I could have done.”

“Ren,” she looked at me. I smiled, but then she shook her head and removed my hand, “you shouldn’t be talkin’ like that.”

I raised my eyebrow, “why?” She said nothing, just let her eyes fall. “I mean it,” I tried to get her to look at me, but to no avail. “I just need you to know that I trust you,” I looked at her, “and I just want you to be safe tomorrow.” She mustered up a smile, and I did the same, “just promise you’ll come back to me.”

I made a move toward her, hoping she’d let me just a bit closer. She stepped back, “I don’t make promises I can’t keep, but my intention is to return to my people.” I raised my eyebrow, but she just nodded, “you should sleep, you need your rest.” I let my jaw tighten, my expression hardening a bit. She had almost made it out the door, but she stopped. She let out a deep breath, “I don’t know…” I raised an eyebrow, but she still had her back turned. She shook her head, “I was scared, and I don’t remember the last time I’ve been scared, and I don’t want to feel that way. But if anything happened …”

“You don’t have to,” I looked at her.

“I just,” she shook her head, sighing, “I don’t know.”

I couldn’t say anything, before I had time to process, she was gone. I walked back to the bed, content that she felt something, and let myself fall asleep. When I woke up in the morning, Lola and Cali were in my room. They pushed a plate near me and I sat up, “did Ky leave?”

“Yeah,” Lola nodded.

“With Alex,” I asked.

She looked at me unsure, “no, I think she went alone.”