After the Crash

It was our fifth day on the road, and we hadn’t run into trouble since the river. I was walking aside the group, next to Sarah and the baby. I glanced ahead, where Sam and Ky were leading the group. I hadn’t spent much time with her since that night and, after Mac talked to her the next night, he told me that it was probably for the best. I let out a deep breath, before continuing. We went a few more minutes before my eyes wandered back toward the front. I watched as she shook her head, pushing Sam. I smiled. “Whatcha lookin’ at,” Sarah raised her eyebrow.

I met her eyes, and shrugged, “Ky’s pretty hard on Sam, isn’t she?”

“They’ve been like that since I’ve known them,” she smiled.

“I’m surprised Sam puts up with it,” I looked at her unsure.

“Puts up with it,” she raised an eyebrow. I nodded. She looked forward, then looked at me. “After what those two have been through together, and all that Ky’s done for him,” she shook her head, “not to mention me and our baby.” She shrugged, “it’s not puttin’ up.” I looked forward at the two of them, unconvinced. “Sam and Ky would never leave each other,” she continued, “they love each other.” I raised an eyebrow. She looked at me and just gave a little laugh, “they’re not in love, they just love each other.” She nodded forward, “that’s how Ky shows it.”

I shook my head, “she’s not great at showing it, is she?”

Sarah looked at me, almost disappointed, “you’ve got no right to judge that poor girl.” I opened my mouth, ready to apologize. “You know Sam’s the only person here who knows what she’s been through,” she looked at me as if it were a question. I shook my head, no. She glanced forward, “you two.” I looked forward, noticing Cali and Cheyanne near us. “I know you two are eavesdroppin’ and I’ve told you several times it's rude. Now, mind your own business.”

Cali looked back, “but we wanna know what happened to Sam and Ky.”

“There ain’t a single person here who knows what happened to Sam and Ky, ‘cept Sam and Ky,” she shook her head. Cali rolled her eyes, but the two girls moved forward. Sarah looked at me again. I was unsure. She shook her head, “he’s never told me, not the details.” She shrugged, “that’s between the two of them.”

“But he’s your husband,” I raised an eyebrow.

“He’s not my husband,” she shook her head, “Ky wouldn’t perform the ceremony for us.”

“No one else could,” I kept my eyebrow raised.

She sighed, “I told you, he loves her, and if anyone’s gonna marry us, well it’s gotta be Ky.” She shrugged, “else he won’t do it.” I was skeptical. She looked at me, gave me a good-humored smile, and continued, “I told you, they’re not in love. I swear,” she shook her head, “I’ve got no jealousy, and she don’t either.” She shrugged, “I don’t know what her reasons are, but I know her opinion and her approval mean the world to Sam.” She smiled, “and I’m not angry that he doesn’t tell me everything they went through. It says something about his character, keeping her trust like that.”

I nodded. We walked for a little while longer, then I caved. I looked around, then tried to keep my volume low. “Sarah,” I said quietly. She looked at me, and I continued at the low volume, “Sam mentioned that they were traveling with a guy and he left them for dead.” She raised an eyebrow. I sighed, “I guess I was wondering if you have any more information.”

She looked forward at the two of them, then back at me, “all I know is he led them into a PCD trap, and he wasn’t just a guy, he was Ky’s boyfriend of almost five years.” She shook her head, “can you imagine, after all that time, being betrayed like that?”

“Sounds awful,” I swallowed hard, looking forward.

“It was hard on her,” she looked at me. I raised my eyebrow, and she shook her head, “I probably shouldn’t tell you this.” She looked around, then took a deep breath, “Sam told me that she saved his life, and I believe that. I mean you’ve seen her.” I nodded, then she continued, “he told me that they moved for two weeks, and she showed absolutely nothing. She didn’t sleep, didn’t eat, and he says she hardly even spoke to him. He said he begged her. Then she broke down,” she shook her head, “I can’t even imagine that girl crying.” I swallowed again, trying not to show anything. I couldn’t imagine her vulnerable, and the thought upset me. She shook her head, “two days. He didn’t even notice at first. She didn’t make a sound, just tears.” I looked at Sarah’s eyes, watering as she said it. “I’m sorry,” she wiped her eyes, “it’s just, she’s the strongest person I know.” She looked at me, “two days, Sam says almost two full days, she just cried. No words. He didn’t know what to do, so he just held her.”

“Please, tell me what happened to her,” I shook my head, needing to know more.

“I don’t know,” she shook her head again.

“Whitney’s gotta know,” I looked at her.

She shook her head, “Ky doesn’t talk about it, ever, not to Whitney, not even to Sam.” I looked at her, and she shook her head, “he’s begged her to talk about it, really thinks it would help, but …” She didn’t say anything else, and I didn’t push for more. Besides, the baby started crying, and she had to deal with that. I looked forward. I looked at Ky, shaking my head, feeling a strange tension as I balled my fists, thinking about how awful it must have been to affect her that way. I wanted to know. I eased the tension in my hands, taking a deep breath. I probably didn’t want to know.

Sarah moved forward, and her spot was replaced by Jen. I let out a silent breath as I glanced toward the girl. Her and Lola hardly left me alone. They were young girls, practically still children, and it seems that the crash hadn’t done much to advance their maturity. “Why do you ask so many questions about Ky,” Jen said. I looked down, and she was raising her eyebrow. I shook my head, not responding. She shrugged, “I mean, that’s like the fourth time I’ve heard you ask about her.”

“I’m trying to get to know everyone in this party,” I looked at her.

“You don’t ask about me,” she smiled.

“You’re pretty open,” I looked at her, then looked forward, “not everyone’s so forthcoming about themselves.”

“Ky’s a …” she started but stopped when she ran into Eric. “Why’d you stop,” she said. E just nodded forward. Ky’s hand was raised for all of us to stop. Jen rolled her eyes and crossed her arm, “what now?”

I shushed her, then turned to E, “stay with the kids, I’m gonna see what’s up.” He nodded, and I moved forward. She was arguing with Sam in hushed tones when I got over to her. “What’s going on,” I looked between the two of them.

She looked at Sam, took a deep breath, then looked at me, “I heard something. I need to go investigate, and this idiot wants to go with me.” She looked back at Sam, “you have a child, you can’t go with me, your feet are loud, and you’re gonna get both of us killed.”

He shook his head, “you can’t go alone.” She just raised her eyebrow, then he looked at me, “tell her she can’t go alone.”

“I can go alone,” she said through gritted teeth, “I can do whatever I damn well please. That includes sending you to an early grave, but I’m trying to keep you alive for your god damn family.”

Sam opened his mouth, but I jumped in, “how bout we compromise.” They both looked at me, “Sam stays with everyone, and I go with Ky.”

She looked at me, then at Sam, and then back before rolling her eyes, “fine.” She put her finger up, “but you do what I say, and you,” she looked at Sam again, “and you make sure that baby stays quiet.” He just nodded. She looked at me, “stay quiet, and stay low.” I nodded, as I followed her forward, watching my steps as I went. We walked forward for a while before I began to hear voices in the distance. As we moved forward, the voices were louder. She stopped me, and we slowed even more before pulling up to a decent but covered vantage point. It was a small group of PCD officers, with a few prisoners. It looked like there were six prisoners: three adults and three children. There were four officers, probably a scouting group that got lucky and found a few wandering families. I let out a breath of sympathy, then turned to Ky. She looked at me, “get the rest of the group out of here, lead them back, Whit knows the alternative route and Sam knows what to do in my absence.” She turned her eyes forward, studying the scene that was before us. I didn’t move, I just looked at her, baffled. She turned again, “and be quiet as you go back, I wanna be sure our people are well out of range.”

“Out of range for what,” I looked at her.

“Just do as I say,” she said keeping her eyes forward.

“I’m not leaving you alone, until I know what you’re planning,” I watched her expression change, but held firm, “and I make no promises that I’d leave you alone after that.”

She looked at me, speaking quietly, but through gritted teeth, “you are testing my patience.” I held my ground as her narrowed eyes threatened my resolve. I was sure her plan would be dangerous, and I wasn’t about to sit around and let her play fast and loose with her life. She held a little longer with her heavy gaze, but I wore her down. She tightened her grip on the gun, and I could see the tension in her jaw. Then she released, “I’m going to save these people, but not until my people are out of range.”

I shook my head, “you’re not taking on four men alone.”

“I’ve done it before,” she brought her volume down, moving her eyes back to the group in front of us. I was going to protest for several reasons, but she turned back. Her eyebrow was raised, “have you ever been in PCD custody?” The look in her eyes was no longer hard, and I was taken aback. I let out a breath, shaking my head. “Trust me,” she shook her head, moving her eyes forward again, “if you had, you’d want to assure that no one went through what you did.”

“Ky,” I whispered. She looked at me, her expression still softer than usual. I almost felt sympathy looking at her. I swallowed, “you’ve got to think this through. Even if you managed to shoot down four PCD officers, these are obviously scouts, within days the forest would be crawling with officers.”

“We’d be long gone,” she said.

“These are trained killers,” I looked at her, “and I’m not leaving you here to get yourself killed.” She looked at me unamused, then sent a sideways glance back to the scene before us. “We both go back,” I grabbed her attention, “we take your people out of range, we regroup, develop a plan, and then come back for these people.” She opened her mouth to protest, but I shook my head, “I’m not leaving this spot without you.” She took a deep breath, reluctantly agreeing. We stealthily moved back to our party, a good twenty-minute walk away. We hadn’t been seen or heard by the PCD officers. As we got back to the group, Ky put her hand to her lip, instructing them to stay silent. She consulted one of her maps before giving orders for our new course. As we started moving, I moved toward her. She looked frustrated but said nothing. “You made the safe choice,” I smiled.

She turned her head quickly, “I do not take kindly to being coerced into decisions.” She shook her head, “I do not play with the lives of my people. I protect them at all cost, but what I do with my own life is my decision and mine alone.”

I felt the tension as my grip tightened around my gun. “Because these people depend on you,” I looked at her, “you owe them a little forethought. Before you throw yourself into a ring of fire, you have to swallow that pride and put their needs above your ego. Their safety is contingent on your safety.”

She tensed up again, before releasing. “This is no question of ego,” she shook her head, “this is a question of right or wrong, and sometimes the safe decision is not the right decision.” I opened my mouth, but she stopped me, “I’ve no patience for you, right now.” I was furious with her. She held my gaze, only slightly shaking her head, “walk away, Ren.” I held her gaze a bit longer but did as she said.

I fell back, where Dale and E were, and walked there for several miles. When we took a break, we switched up the position of our guns as we usually would. Dale pushed our group to the front, the back moved to the middle, and the front dropped back. In this position, we walked several more miles before stopping again to rest. I looked around at the group. The kids were all on the floor, resting. Jen and some of the girls found rocks. I noticed Whitney moving toward Sam and Sarah. I raised my eyebrow and surveyed the group and the surrounding area. I hit Dale on the shoulder, “where’s Ky?”

He turned back, looking around, and then shook his head, “god damn.” He moved toward Whitney and Sam, and I followed.

“She doubled back,” Whitney said before we even asked, “I was told to keep us moving, without her. I know the way, Sam knows how to mark the trees so that she can follow.”

“I’m gonna bring her back myself,” I started moving.

“No,” Whitney put her hand on my chest, stopping me, “you don’t know where you’re going, and if you get lost in these woods, you may never find your way back.” I opened my mouth, but she stopped me, “put our party ahead of your pride, Ren.” She gave a slight smile, “if she doesn’t come back and you get lost, we lose two guns in one day.” She shook her head, “we can’t afford that kind of loss.” I was not happy that my own advice was being thrown in my face, and I didn’t like that she had snuck off like that or that Whitney had just let her go. She was rogue, and I don’t know how I was going to deal with a person like her. Or if I’d get the chance to deal with her. I was equal parts infuriated and nervous.