Vengeance Is Mine

(Zephyr's POV)

The following week, I was dreading the absolute worst. I couldn't eat whenever dinner was ready, I hardly held down breakfast and now Zack was obviously noticing that I was acting weird too, to top it all off. I tried to play it off as if I was just waiting for my period to come, which I was, but little did he know, I was already three days late. I had confided in Val, who in return told me not to worry, that she and Matt had a scare like that the first time too but that everything was fine in the end. It didn't help me worry less any, because no matter what, that awful little chance could still sneak up on us at any minute and ruin the relationship that I had worked so goddamn hard to build with Zack and ultimately ruin my, if not both, of our entire lives. I was finally allowed back in school today but it only made me even more nerve wrecked seeing as I couldn't focus my mind on anything else but what happened over the weekend. "Dude, you've been shaking like a scared puppy since we got in here, what gives? Are you feeling alright?" Matt asks me as we sit in our usual spot in the back of 4th period history class.

I look down at my hands, seeing that he was right, they were trembling like I was a fucking junkie coming off of a high. I try to play it off, but it was no use, he wasn't believing a thing. "Bullshit, you're never like this. What did Zee do this time?" I shake my head vigorously. It wasn't him this time, surprisingly. He eyes me suspiciously before reaching over to put a hand on top of my knee. "If you don't tell me, I'll just ask Val. You know she tells me everything, whether you want her to or not." Damn it, he had another very valid point. Val couldn't keep anything from Matt even if it killed her. Taking in a slow, shaky breath, I decided there was no real reason in even trying to hide it anymore. "Zack and I had sex on Friday, like literally right before you had called him about the good news. It was my first time, we didn't use protection, and to top it all off, I'm late for my period. Are you happy now?" His face suddenly stiffened some until a minute later it dramatically changed to sympathetic and worried. "Holy fuck Zeph, why didn't you say anything sooner? Or tell Val or someone? They make pills now to help prevent that from happening, you know. In case of those emergencies." No, I actually didn't know that, but thanks for telling me now captain obvious.

My nerves are spiraling out of control by the time that sentence really sticks to me and I'm on the edge of either passing out or throwing up right in the middle of the classroom. This type of problem could have been prevented this entire time, I could have fucking dealt with this a whole lot sooner and easier. "I mean, they just literally came out with this stuff a few months ago but Val's taken it, it worked. But look, maybe there's still something we can do about it. I'll go with you after school to the parenting clinic if you want. Just tell Zee that you're going somewhere with Val or something. I got your back on this Zephyr, I promise." If we weren't in the process of learning about Hitler and World War 2, I would have hugged onto Matt as tight as I could and probably broke down into tears. It was weird, to be honest. I never expected him to be the one to come to my rescue in my time of need but I was going to take whatever I could get at this point because I was honestly scared to fucking death about this entire situation.

When the bell had finally rang, I tried my hardest to keep my calm once we joined Zack and the others in the hallway. He instantly wraps his arms around me before placing a kiss on the side of my face. "You feeling better today babe?" He asks in a soft voice. I nod, still trying to play it cool. "Oh by the way Zee, I'm stealing Zephyr after school. I need help with some health class stuff about periods. I'll make sure Matty brings her home right after we're done." Val says suddenly with a reassuring grin on her face. I shift my gaze quickly to Matt who just smiles back in return. Now I really hoped he didn't suspect a thing. To my surprise, Zack just shrugs his shoulders before giving me another kiss, this time on my lips. "That's fine, I don't need her until night time anyways. It gets cold up there all alone." He pouts now, sticking his out his bottom lip. I laugh lightly, trying to ease away the tension that I was feeling before kissing the tip of his nose. "Promise I'll be home before dinner babe, don't worry. Then we can cuddle all you want. Sound like a deal?" He grins widely.

The rest of school is pretty much all a blur until the last bell for the day rings, signaling its time to go home. I follow alongside Matt the entire way to the parking lot until we reach his car where Val is waiting for us. "So are you going to tell me what it is you're doing that I had to lie for you about?" She asks the minute we pile inside with me in the backseat. I just stay quiet, completely embarrassed about it all. "I just have to take Zephyr somewhere babe that's all. And I didn't want Zack to get all suspicious or act weird about it. I promise, she'll tell you after. I'll come over on my way back." She huffs slightly sounding as if she's annoyed and all that really does now is make me feel even more like a loser. "Whatever then, I don't care." A couple of tears leak out of my eyes and roll down my cheeks after hearing that. I hated feeling like I was coming in between anyone, especially my friend's relationships but I didn't want to do this alone, I was scared enough as it was. I just needed someone to be there for me and Matt had just so happen to volunteer at the right time.

After we drop Val off at home with a much anticipated slam of the door, I hop in front besides Matt who in return just gives me a light smile, trying to offer me some comfort as we start to drive to the clinic across town now. I keep my attention focused out of the window mostly, watching the different cars pass by, the people walking around the different shops. It takes a good nudge to finally get me to notice that we had arrived about fifteen minutes later. I'm shaking and breathing hard as we walk up to the door and ultimately step inside. Matt takes a seat while I head up to the check in window, immediately being greeted by a nurse. "Hello. Um, it's my first time here and I needed some information about the emergency after pill. And also a pregnancy test." My voice is barely above a whisper as she nods with a gentle smile before handing me some forms to fill out. I retreat back to where he was sitting before taking the spot beside him. I fill out the papers quietly, only glancing over at Matt a couple of times to tell him how thankful I was for him to be here with me at all. He keeps insisting that it's not a big deal and that he's always happy to help his friends in need. If only he knew how happy I was for having him at this exact moment and time. "I'm sorry if I'm causing any problems or drama between you and Val because of this too, by the way. Seriously, I'm sorry."

But before he has a chance to respond, the waiting room door opens and another nurse is calling out my name. I get up slowly, feeling him suddenly grab onto my hand and give it a tight squeeze. "I'll be right here waiting for you Zeph. You'll be ok." I flash him the most sincere smile that I can, seriously hoping that he was right about the last part as I follow back there to my waiting fate. First she takes my temperature and weight before dragging me off to a small office looking type waiting room. Oh good God, I don't think I can fucking do this anymore. There's pictures of babies and STD charts and all sorts of things scattered around the walls, which makes me feel even more uncomfortable then I already was. She tells me her name is Diane and then starts to ask all the personal and stomach turning questions that you could possibly imagine. "I wish you would have gotten here sooner, but the time frame for the emergency pill is only 3 days after unprotected sex. But just to be sure, we'll get your test ready." On the verge of having another breakdown, I just accept what it is she has to say without saying much back. Finally after what feels like forever, the interrogation is over and she's handing me a sample cup. "Leave it in the small compartment in the restroom when you're finished then head back out to the waiting room to wait for your results."

I do as instructed and in a matter of moments am I back out into the lobby, sitting beside Matt who was in the middle of reading a copy of the TV Guide. "Sorry to interrupt your fun there." He quickly looks up at me, tossing the magazine aside. "How'd it go? Is everything done?" I bite down hard on my lip, shaking my head. "It's too late for the pill, so they're....giving me a pregnancy test." The color from his face drains almost completely until he pulls himself together long enough to embrace me tightly in his arms. It was odd, I had never had a moment like this with Matt before and to be honest, it was really nice. I could definitely see now why Val was so in love with him, he was a genuinely amazing guy who went out of his way to help anyone no matter what the situation was. "We'll get through this, Zeph. No matter what the outcome, I'll support you on everything. If you don't want to tell Zee right away, I won't pressure you to. But you two definitely need to talk about all of this afterwards. You'll feel a lot better if you just get it all out, I promise you, you will." I just hug onto him tighter as I feel the tears fall like rain down my face once again. I couldn't tell Zee, I wouldn't. Even if it drove us away, even if it killed me. I absolutely would not tell him in my lifetime.

"Zephyr King!" They call out my name once more and I'm nothing short of hysterical at this point, actually allowing Matt to come back into the room with me. She hands over the lab results, indicating that they had done more than one. "One test came back negative, the other came back positive. So at this point, it'll have to be prolonged a little longer because it could be a false response in either one. For now though, I'd treat this as a positive and just take extra care of yourself. If you don't get your period by the end of this week, come back so we can take one more just to be sure of the results. I'm sure this is very confusing to you, but it'll be alright. No matter what the outcome of this, we have many different ways to help you figure out the solution. We'll see you in a few days, Ms. King."

Once we're given the clear to leave, I proceed to fall apart in the middle of the parking lot, throwing myself into a ball on the ground. Matt's beside me in an instant, clutching onto me for dear life. "I could be pregnant, Matt. I could be fucking pregnant, with Zack's baby. All because I wanted to fucking prove to him that I loved him, now I might actually be carrying his child. What the fuck am I going to do? What the fuck am I going to do now? You guys are going on tour this up coming summer, you're going to be recording an album. I can't fucking bring this kind of shit in the mix now, it'll practically ruin everything! Zee isn't ready for a kid, he's not ready to be in a serious relationship. I never should have let this go so fucking far. How stupid can I be, Matt? How fucking stupid can I really be? I should have just threw myself out of the fucking window and died a few weeks ago just like I had wanted to. Then, all this could have been prevented and I wouldn't have to be dragging you here with me to help me fix my fuck ups. I'm a lost cause Matt, I'm fucking hopeless. I pray to God for my sake, that I fucking don't wake up when I go to bed tonight. I'm done, I give up. The world wins, I don't want to live anymore. I don't want to be breathing anymore."