Vengeance Is Mine

(Zephyr's POV)

If there's a God, please, just let me collapse and die right here, right now, in front of everyone. I had finally been betrayed for the last and final time by someone who claimed they were my best friend. The look on Zack's face as he tried to register what had just been said to him, was heart wrenching. I made an attempt to swing at Val, but was stopped in the end by Matt who pulled me away carefully. "What the fuck is going on? What are you guys doing!" I couldn't speak, I couldn't even make sounds come out. Now the cat had been ripped out of the bag, now Zack knew that I might be pregnant with his kid. And to make matters even worse, now he knew that I was with Matt the entire time. Not that it really mattered, he only did it because we're best friends. "You-You could-be-You could be fucking pregnant, Zephyr? Why didn't you fucking tell me! Why did you go to Matt?! Why couldn't you have just told me!" And cue to the heartbreaking, total betrayal rant and possibly hate you forever type of speech. "Well?! Aren't you going to fucking answer me! I deserve to fucking know! That's the least you could do! How long have you been hiding this from me?! Does anyone else know besides me? Jesus fucking Christ!"

I stared down at the floor, tears falling freely from my eyes. I didn't care if every one of our friends was standing by watching now, it was all out on display for the world to see now. "It's only been a few fucking days, Zacky. I don't even know if I'm pregnant or not! I was scared out of my mind and Matt offered to help and to take me to the parenting clinic because VAL HAS BEEN IN THE SAME POSITION BEFORE, SHE JUST FUCKING HID IT FROM EVERYONE, LIKE I WAS TRYING TO DO!" I knew it was wrong to put her and Matt's private business out there like that, especially all he ever did was try to help me out, but after she had just blatantly announced the news to Zack that I was probably pregnant and pretty much ruin my life now, I had no other choice. Everyone was silent now as Val's face contorted from a devious smirk to a total look of shock and disbelief. "How-How fucking dare you! And you! How could you fucking tell her about that?!" It was her turn now to come after Matt, she smacked him hard in the face as he still kept a tight grip on me. I was determined to grab a hold of her now, but it still was useless. He only let me go once she started to storm away angrily with tears pouring out of her eyes. Now she knew how I felt, how it felt to be in my fucking position.

"What the fuck are you all staring at?! Get the fuck out of here!" I screamed at the crowd that had grown around all of us now, attempting to record and take pictures of any incident that happened. Thankfully Jimmy immediately stepped in once he saw what was going on and helped disperse the nosy and inconsiderate pieces of garbage. "Zack, please. You had to know that it wasn't easy for me to hide this from you. I didn't want to fucking hide it, but I had no choice. You're becoming super successful and are barely getting a chance to really live in your career. I didn't want to take all that away from you just because of one stupid mistake. I don't regret having sex with you, not at all, you're my best friend, the love of my life, but I should have been more cautious with the entire thing and not live in the heat of the moment. Because now this happened. Yes, I had Matt take me to the parenting clinic. Yes, I lied to you about everything, but I only did it to protect you, Zacky. I did it to protect you and that enormous egotistic image of your's that I know means the entire world to you. I still don't even know if I am really pregnant or not, I won't know until I go back to get another test done in a couple of days. No one else knows, well, actually, I think everyone fucking knows now, but the only one who knew was Matt. I thought he was going to tell Val, but I guess he never did."

His face was stiff and his gaze was cold. He didn't say one word to me, he just kept his entire body motionless. "Zack, can't you say something? Please? I didn't mean for it to go this way, I fucking swear to God that I didn't. But you can't just hold me accountable for this either. You knew I wasn't on any type of birth control, you knew we didn't use any sort of protection or anything to try and prevent this. So what did you really expect the outcome to be? Did you really think that by some grace of God that I wasn't going to end up in a situation like this? I'm sure you've been reckless with other girls before and things haven't gone that way, but it's not the case with me now. You said you saw a future with me, you said that you wanted to marry me. If you really meant all that, then you'd be there with me now. You'd understand that what I did was only because I was trying to lookout for you, you'd understand that I was fucking terrified to even say anything to anyone because I knew this could possibly end my entire relationship with you that I've wanted and worked so fucking hard for my entire life. So if you want me out, I'll gladly pack up my shit and get out when I get there. If you want me to stay, then I'll stay. If you don't want to talk to me, fine, that works too. If you want to break up with me, go for it. I'm letting you call the shots here, Zee. I'm done fixing things, my main focus now is to see what's going to happen in the next few days, to see if I'm having your kid."

Once again, no reaction, no words, no sounds. Only when I looked up at him, I saw a couple of tears finally roll down his cheeks. I wanted to hug him so goddamn desperately, to tell him that I really was sorry, that I loved him more than he possibly could ever understand. I cried hard as we just stood there, not saying anything to each other. And I sobbed only even harder when he eventually pulled me into his arms and we both started to cry together. He held onto me so goddamn tight I thought I was going to run out of air, but I honestly didn't care, it was worth it, even if I died. He pulled away briefly, only to put a hand to my face and stroke it gently. His green eyes were bloodshot red and swollen, but they still looked as gorgeous as ever. We ended up walking out of campus without a word to anybody besides Jimmy who had come back to check on us and headed a few blocks away over to Central Park. We sat in our usual spot on a lonely log, hidden deep in the thick wooded terrain and I laid my head on his shoulder while coincidentally someone was playing U2's hit 'With or Without' You somewhere far off in the distance. It was a great song don't get me wrong, but it was terrible fucking timing. Now it really felt like things were going to take a nosedive.

"I love you so fucking much, Zephyr. You're my best friend, being with you has been nothing short of an adventure and I wouldn't trade it all away for anything. Yes, I know it's my fault too that you're in this situation in the first place. I should have been more careful, I should have paid more attention to what I was really setting us up for. But I couldn't help it, I wanted to love you fully, I wanted to give you everything that I had, because you mean the entire world to me." Uh oh, I think I know where this is going. "I want to be with you, Zephyr. I want to make this work, I don't want to keep secrets or anything between each other. I will go with you to take your next test, I deserve to be there, I fucked up too. And I want you to know that, no matter what the out come, I'll still be there. If you're pregnant, then I want you to decide whatever you think is best. I'd love to be a dad some day, but not right now. But it doesn't matter what I want, because I want you to make these choices, because it's your body anyways, you have the right to decide whatever you want. But I think, after we figure this all out, we should just take a break from each other, try to catch our breaths. I know things moved way too fast for you, and I'm really sorry about everything. I don't regret any of it, I still want to marry you, I still meant everything I said. Just not right now."

Not right now. Those three words were enough to break my heart and shatter it into a million pieces all over again. I didn't care that he said he wanted a break, I agree, we should take one too. What broke me the most is that he wanted me to be together only until we found out about the pregnancy. After that, we'd go back to just being best friends. In a matter of hours, I simultaneously managed to ruin another friendship, my relationship, and my own life. I really was a fucking train wreck, I don't even know why I'm still here to be honest with you. "Then I guess it is pretty suiting, isn't it? You can't live with or without me, huh? Because I'm just going to keep messing up your life and ruining that perfect image of yours, aren't I Zack? Well, at least before this is all over, can I have one last kiss or at least an I love you?" He's looking down at me and the tears are pouring out both of your eyes once more. He kisses me over and over on the lips, only stopping to catch his breath when he couldn't take it anymore. "I love you, Zephyr. I love you, I love you, I love you. I'll never stop saying I love you, because I always will. This isn't the end, I won't let it happen."