Fragile

(Jade's POV)

Happy Birthday to me, but the real surprise is going to be for Chester. I'm pregnant. I found out a few days ago when Shae took me to the parenting clinic. I was a complete mess of emotions when they had told me but ultimately was thrilled in the end. We had been trying ever since I had been cleared by the doctors in December. Shae and Mike had gotten married on Valentine's Day, as cheesy and cliche as it sounded, but it was a beautiful ceremony actually. It was outdoors at a local community garden, Mike's parents had helped shell out most of the costs while they only had to worry about paying for the honeymoon. Now here's what else you've missed in the last six months. Chester and I had gotten married in March, on his 26th birthday. It was small and intimate with only about eleven people in total. Rob, Brad, Joe, Dave, Shae, Mike, baby Jay-Lynn, Melody, Melody's mom, my own father and even Chester's mom. It was weird at first because I had never heard much about her before or even had met her but in the end I was ecstatic that she had come. She was incredibly sweet and took a liking to me very quickly which I was truly grateful for, she was happy that her son had finally found the woman of his dreams no matter what anyone else thought. Sure we were young, especially me, but I was deeply in love. Chester was so happy too, the never ending smile on his face was truly intoxicating.

I couldn't believe that my niece, Jay-Lynn, was already six months old either and honestly, I couldn't believe at how quickly the time had just seem to fly by. The guys had released their second album, the 'Reanimation' of Hybrid Theory. Another cross country tour was in the books too but no official date was set as to when they would be leaving. Chester and the guys had been working nonstop on new material as well, which was also super exciting. He showed me some of the lyrics he had come up with, most were sad and full of emotion, others were edgy and raw. I loved that about Chester the most though, he could put down whatever he was thinking or feeling on paper and it always came so naturally to him. I wasn't exactly sure as to how far along I was, but the doctors estimated about a month, give or take. I had made a follow up appointment with my regular doctor to be on the safe side because even though the cancer was in remission for now, there was always the chance that it could come back and ultimately complicate my pregnancy. I was anxious to find out what we were going to be having though, so many names and ideas were constantly running through my mind. Shae insisted it was going to be a boy but I was really hoping it would be a girl. Chester had always said he wanted a big family if he could, so I knew regardless of the gender he would just be happy to finally be a dad.

We were sitting in the living room of Mike and Shae's house this morning as they were waiting for the others to arrive to have a meeting about the upcoming tour and recording. Chester wanted to take me out for a romantic dinner to celebrate my day but I opted for just staying in at home and having a simple cake with my friends. Mostly because I wanted to save the big surprise for last, that way everyone could know about the happy news. Thankfully if you looked at me, you couldn't really tell that I was starting to grow a baby bump. Being so sick and skinny for so long was horrible, so I'm sure the fact that the sight of me gaining weight was a huge relief to everyone. Of course there were days when I would feel somewhat empty inside, because there was always that fear that the disease could come back and get even worse than before. But Chester did his best to keep my fears and worries at bay, because according to him, the most important things that I needed to be focusing on was myself and our love. He said that living in constant fear was only going to make me feel worse and that I was going to let it stop me from living the life that I knew I deserved. He had a point though, if it wasn't for me letting go of the fear of what people thought about our relationship in the very beginning, we never would have made it this far like we are now.

"So, you're sure there's nothing else I should know about your plans for the day?" I asked Chester nervously as I scanned over his shoulder, seeing that he was texting away with Melody. The only words I could seem to make out were 'surprise' and 'party'. I wouldn't mind it so much if he was planning on having one for me though, truthfully, because I never had one before. When I was little my parents would throw me huge parties all the time but as I got older that became less frequent until the point where I would rely on my friends to have gifts and a cake for me. He quickly shielded his phone away from my view before leaning over to kiss the tip of my nose. "Don't you worry about a thing, baby. I promise you, there's nothing you need to know." I sighed deeply, eventually giving in and leaving it alone. I was still curious as hell, but I figured I could always ask Shae for the details if I needed to. One by one the guys had all arrived, cramming in the small space of the living room. Mike directed everyone out to the backyard to sit while Shae and I stayed inside with the baby watching Sesame Street. "So you're going to tell everyone tonight, right?" I nodded vigorously, a sheepish smile coming to my face. She grinned widely before putting a hand on my shoulder. "It's going to change you, a lot, but for the best. I promise, it's totally worth it in the end." She said sweetly as she bounced Jay-Lynn softly up and down. I was truly excited, I could hardly wait.

"I just hope everything goes smoothly, you know? There's still that fucking chance that shit could come back worse. But for Chester's sake, I'm trying to stay as positive as possible. This would be such a life changing experience for the both of us. Just look at how happy you and Mike are." Again she just beamed up at me, the look on her face saying it all. "Told you. Anyways, when do you suppose their going to be leaving? I don't want this to interfere with any plans." She shrugged her shoulders before making a slight face. "My best bet is sometime next month, I know they wanna do a quick summer run before they go back into writing the next record. That's what this meeting was about today, to figure all that technical stuff out. Besides, it's your birthday! Let's party!"

(Chester's POV)

As we sat around the table discussing our plans for the next tour, I kept fidgeting with my phone nonstop. I was planning a small surprise party for Jade, seeing as she's finally feeling better and all, I really wanted to make today special for her. She may have had some idea that I had something planned up my sleeve, but thankfully Shae kept her occupied enough to keep her curious mind busy. I was just honestly glad that things had been going great for us so far. As soon as she was cleared and released from the hospital, with the cancer being at full remission, we started trying to have a baby right away. We even got married just a couple of months ago too, on my birthday to be exact. This year so far had been one of the greatest, there was no denying that. The only thing I worried about was being halfway across the country if Jade was to get sick, but we were ultimately working on a plan for her to go with us. I hadn't told her anything yet because I really didn't want to until I knew it was going to happen for sure, but it made me feel a lot more at ease just knowing that she would be there right beside me at all times. Mike was a little skeptical about leaving, especially since Shae just had the baby a few months ago, but again, everyone reassured him that it wouldn't be for long.

"So man, how is everything with you two? She doing okay?" Brad asked as we passed around a small notebook, jotting down our ideas for a final leaving date. I nodded with a small smile, things couldn't be better. "She's doing good, you know, for the time being. There's always that little black cloud hanging over but it's going to be there indefinitely. And I'm okay with that, she's got her whole life ahead of her and at any moment it could all be taken away. So we're just living day by day, seeing how it all turns out. We've been trying so hard to have a baby but it just doesn't seem to be working. I know it all seems to be happening super fast, but it's kind of like we're on precious time. If anything...if anything was to ever happen to Jay, I'm not sure how I would feel or act. She's my everything, but we've come to the conclusion that we need to start our dreams as soon as possible, before the time just runs out. I know she's going to keep fighting this like she has been and I know we're going to win it, but it just scares me. I mean, if we have a kid and one day Jade's not there, I know I'm going to have to tell them all about their mom. And I'll make sure I do it with pride. She's the greatest woman I have ever met, I am madly in love with her. But I couldn't live without her."

It went silent for a while as everyone took in what I was saying. That was one of my many flaws, I guess. I always spoke out so passionately and so full of emotion, sometimes it was a lot for any one person to take in so suddenly. But everything that I said was the full and honest truth. We made a deal that if for some reason Jade shouldn't be around and I have to raise our child all alone, she wants me to make sure I tell them all about her. She wants me to make sure that our child knows how hard mommy tried to be there to see them grow up. But of course I always tell her that she will be, but she always has to be the realistic one, as she likes to call it, and tell me that there is still always that one chance and she wants me to be prepared for it. I don't want to be, though. "Hey, don't worry about all that right now. The important thing is that you are there for each other right now. She loves you just as much as you do her. And we all think it's great that you guys are starting on a family. We already have a little Shinoda, adding a little Bennington makes things even better." I smiled wide at all of them, clearly thankful and blessed to have such amazing friends like them. "So does she suspect anything about tonight?" I shot them a cheeky smirk, she had no idea.

"Back to business guys. So do we agree? We leave the middle of June?" Joe spoke up as we continued talking about Jay's surprise party. It was silent for a few minutes until eventually the answers started coming out. "Yes. Also, because of the special circumstances, Jade is going to be coming with us for the entire two months. Is everyone okay with that?" Another round of unanimous decisions, of course they were all fine with it. "Then it's settled, we'll leave on the 23rd and Jade will stay on our bus. Now, we have to head out to get all the supplies for tonight, I'll call you in a couple of hours to confirm when we're on our way home from the movies." It was going to be absolutely perfect, she was going to have balloons and streamers and everything else that I could think of that truly made her happy and could bring a huge smile to her face. Nothing could spoil this day, nothing.

(Jade's POV)

A few hours later we were on our way to the movie theater that Chester insisted that we go to so we could see some movie that he heard was supposed to be incredibly funny. I didn't stray from the idea, so I kept up a big grin the entire time. I knew he was doing his best to help make this day really special for me and I loved him so much for it. But all I really wanted was to be at home with him, watching horror movies and cuddling. "Are you okay babe?" He asks sweetly as we head up to the theater counter. I nod with a small smile, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. "Totally fine babe. Just enjoying my day with you, thank you." He hands me over my ticket before pressing a light kiss to the side of my face. I stare at him for a long minute, soaking in every inch of his face and its features. He was so handsome, so gorgeous, so caring and kind. I truly was a lucky girl, that was for sure. "Come on then, lets continue making this day great for you. Then I promise we can go home and be lazy." I smiled wide now as I followed him along inside. I couldn't wait for the night to come.

We settled on seeing some movie called 'Ice Age', it was a cute cartoon movie about some animals who find a baby and try to return him home. It made me cry, it made me laugh, and there were a lot of kids in the theater, but all in all I had a good time. I was just anxious to get back home now, because on top of being hungry I was also determined to share my news with Chester. It was around six when we left the movies and pulled into the driveway. I noticed a few cars scattered around the block that looked awfully familiar but I decided to let it go as we started our walk up to the front door. I noticed that the lights were all off which was slightly unusual since Chester almost always left the kitchen light on if we were going to be home late as I walked through the door first. Then of course as I headed into the living room to flip on the switch, their stood all our friends and family with a cake and millions of balloons. "Surprise! Happy Birthday, Jay!". Damn it, I knew he was up to something. I immediately hugged every person that I came into contact with before planting a huge kiss on Chester's lips. He had a smile that was radiating across the entire room. "I love you."

I smiled before answering him back. "I love you, too. You didn't have to do all this for me." I felt a tear slip down my face before he quickly wiped it away with his thumb. "Hey, no crying. This is a happy day for you." I giggled softly before kissing him again. Well actually, this is a special day for you too. You just don't know it yet. "I know, I'm sorry babe. It's just this is all so much, I never had a surprise birthday party before. You don't know how much this all means to me, really." He kissed me over and over as the tears kept on coming no matter how hard I tried to stop them. Everyone gave me gifts and cards, they all told me how much they loved me and how much I meant to them. I truly was blessed to have all of these people in my life, they all made an impact on me. I figured now was the best time to spill the news that I had been holding in for the last few days as we all crowded around the dining room table while I opened my presents. Shae gave me that all knowing look as she grinned with excitement when I took Chester's hand and intertwined it with mine.

"I know this day is supposed to be all about me, but I have some news too. This is mostly a surprise present for you, baby." He stared up at me with eager eyes as the entire room went silent. I grinned wickedly before handing him a small envelope. I had wrapped up the results of my pregnancy test from the clinic and planned on giving it to him as a present. When he tore open through the packaging, his eyes grew extremely wide and his mouth dropped open to the floor. "You're-you're-" He couldn't manage to get the words out, so I did it for him. "Yes, I'm pregnant. You're gonna be a daddy, Chazzy."

(Fast forward to 5 years later, June 2007, Melody's POV)

"Daddy!" Chester's four year old daughter, Charlotte, squealed excitedly as she tried to wiggle her way out of my grasp. He carefully took her into his arms before kissing her cheek. "You guys are on in ten minutes okay? So just hand her over when you're ready." I said as I put a hand to his shoulder. "Thanks, Mel." He said simply before giving my hand a soft squeeze as he walked by me. "Is he gonna be okay?" Suddenly comes Mike's voice from beside me. I shake my head with a long sigh. "I'm not too sure, but I hope so. He's really missing her tonight." He nods in understanding before giving me a reassuring squeeze too as he casually walks by. It's been a year already since a horrible tragedy had occurred in our family but so far, Chester still hasn't ever recovered or made much progress. He puts on a brave face for his fans, for his friends, for his family, for Charlotte. But I can see deeper than anyone, he's still hurting, he's still feeling so empty. He's taken to me some for comfort but nothing more. I help him take care of Charlotte while their on the road, I'm there 24/7 whenever he needs someone to talk to or just someone to listen to him. I'll never take her place, but I do love him too.

He's always been a best friend to me, she was my sister, she still is my sister. But I know things will never be the same. They haven't been since that awful day. We all knew it was a part of the deal of having her still, that it could always come back, but no one expected it to happen so suddenly. "We're on, man. Can you do it?" I glance up quickly, seeing Chester standing there with a sad and distant look in his eyes as he hands Charlotte back over to me. "Yeah, I have to. Daddy loves you Char, be good for aunt Melody okay?" She shakes her head vigorously before smiling up at him. "Love you!" She is so sweet and carefree, just like she was. She has her eyes, her smile, her dark hair. It's obvious she's a spitting image of her. Sure she has some of Chester's features, but mostly she resembles her. I put on Charlotte's small pair of earmuffs before standing side stage, seeing the guys take their positions. They start off with "What I've Done" and you can tell he's struggling.

Finally after a few minutes, he seems to start to get more into. She's always with you, Chester. Remember that, she's always there. You can do this. I mentally try my hardest to get him to understand that as I see his face start to change. "This next song is hard for me to get through, so I'll need help. It's the first time we've ever played it so I'm dedicating this to my beautiful wife, Jade. I hope you're watching me and I miss you so much. This song is called 'Valentine's Day'." Tears are stinging my eyes as they start, the words crushing through my soul. Jade had passed away a week after Charlotte's third birthday from cancer. She was born on Valentine's Day of all days so when Chester had showed me the lyrics to this song, they had cut like a knife. But it was his way of expressing his feelings and opening up about how he felt and how he channeled his grief over Jade. He was never prepared for this no matter how hard and much she had tried to get him ready for it. He was devastated as we all were. Jade never made it to her 23rd birthday and that was what was so hard. She was so young, her life was just barely beginning. They were going to buy a new house and everything. But I promised her I would step in and take care of him and Charlotte like she asked.

So now as I stand there watching him, holding their beautiful little girl in my hands, I can't help but feel like she's somehow here with me. "He's doing his best Jade, but he needs you." I say quietly to myself but I can tell Charlotte heard me. "Mommy!" She suddenly yells before she points up to the sky. There's a beautiful shooting star whizzing by before it fades into the night fast. That was her, it had to be. "Yes baby, that was Mommy and she loves you very much. Mommy is always there with you, Charlotte, always."