We're Going to Hell

I’ve always loved the feel of the cool November air on my skin. It was never too warm, never too cold; especially here in Huntington Beach. I lived in the good part of Huntington, straying away from the drugs, gangs, and prostitutes, though my best friend currently resided on that part of town. I sat on the beach during the peak of the sun, squirming my bare toes and heels into the sand while reading my Book of Poe; the words slightly shadowed from my head blocking out the sun. This is what I loved to do to get away from everything. Away from my ever suspicious parents, who seemed to think keeping a watch on my sturdy two bedroom apartment would keep me safe and out of trouble. I was a twenty-four year old woman, holding a good apprenticeship at a well known tattoo parlor while going to school to become a lawyer. I’m sure I’m capable of keeping track of myself.

A silhouette’s shadow appeared in the sand, and I closed my book as I looked up at Jimmy, a grin plastered onto his face, “I knew you’d be here,” he said as he sat down next to me.

“Of course you would,” I teased. He really would. Regardless of what part of Huntington you lived in, there were still few schools, and I was lucky enough to be in school with him until he dropped out of high school in eleventh grade. I had just started 9th grade. He was my absolute best friend, and I would admit that maybe I had some…slight feelings for him. Okay, so maybe it was possible that I was hopelessly in love with him, but nobody knew, and I didn’t plan on telling anybody.

“Yeah. Plus, I was on the way to your house and I spotted your sick ass car, so I knew you were here,” he shrugged, and lay down on his back, his huge sunglasses blocking out the sunlight from his crystal blue eyes. I looked back at my gleaming dark purple 90’s Corvette, parked at the edge of the sand, and then redirected my gaze back to Jimmy.

“So you were coming to see me,” I stated more than I asked, and a smirk weaved its way onto my face.

“Maybe,” he said, “Or maybe I just wanted to tell you that you’re an ass for not showing up at the party Matt and Val threw at their house,” I could see him glaring at me through the tinted lenses.

“Oh fuck,” my head fell into my hands, “I totally forgot. I was studying for this huge test, and-“

“Payden,” Jimmy interrupted me, “I came to see you. Chill. The. Fuck. Out” he spaced out the last four words, and I swatted at him.

“Thanks for making me feel like a horrible friend,” I complained, and pouted.

“Aw,” Jimmy sat up and wrapped his arms around my waist, “You’re the bestest best friend ever,” he snuggled his face into the nape of my neck. He would always do things and gestures like these, suggesting something far more than friends, and it gave me chills down my spine each and every time. I knew there were many girls after him, but whatever romances he was having, I didn’t know about to avoid getting hurt. I didn’t even know if he had any.

“Your words reassure me, young one,” I leaned back into him, resting the top of my neck on his shoulder.

“I’m a good three years older than you,” he pointed out, and I swiftly pinched his nose, and brought his face forward.

“Do you want to keep this,” I asked him playfully, and he slowly nodded. I let go, and stood up, grabbing my book in the process, “So how’s the Laundromat,” I asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“It’s…good,” he lied, his eyes darting around. He was always a good liar, but never seemed to be able to fib to me.

“You know you’re always welcome to stay at my house,” I offered yet again as I helped him up. I knew he would never take my offer because of how involved with drugs he was. He told me he never wanted me wrapped up in any of that.

“Your parents will murder me,” he said with a chuckle, “I don’t know if you were there all those years, but they kind of hate me.”

“They’ll get over it. At least stay tonight, so I know you’ve ate something and had a shower,” I turned to look at his face, which was always like an open book to me, “Plus, I don’t want you walking all the way back there.”

“Fine,” he grumbled, “You have my pride, now, are you happy?”

“Not until I have your dignity,” I said while unlocking the ‘Vette.

“You’ll have to earn that. I’ll be putting up a fight for it.”

,,,

“Payden,” Jimmy said my name in a questioning tone as I was cleaning the kitchen. I had made us dinner, and if he didn’t breathe his food into his stomach, then I haven’t the slightest clue of what I just witnessed.

“Yeah,” I muttered, not really paying attention.

“Why do you treat me so well,” he asked, curiously.

“I care about you. A lot,” I admitted, not looking at him.

“But how,” he was now sitting on the counter in front of me, and I stood up straight, putting my hand on my hip.

“You’ve grown on me,” I answered bluntly.

“So, am I sleeping on the couch,” he asked as he hopped off of the counter and started following me around the kitchen.

“You can sleep wherever you want. I don’t care,” I put the detergent in the dishwasher, and then closed it. I started it up, then left through the arch frame.

“I’m going to sleep with my best friend,” He grabbed me from behind, hugging me.

“You’re sleeping on the couch,” I revised my answer to him, and I turned around to catch him pouting.

“Fine,” he said in a childishly defensive voice, and stomped over to the couch, causing me to sigh.

“If you go take a shower, I will think about letting you crawl into bed with me,” I said, and a huge smile appeared on his face, “I’ll go get you a towel and some clothes,” I started walking back towards my room, and reached for the top shelf of my closet, where I had some of Jimmy’s clothes, and grabbed a towel. I placed them on the corner of the sink in the bathroom for him, and walked back out to my living room, where he was sitting down, “I’ve got everything in there for you,” I nodded my head back towards the hallway. He got up, and before he went back there, he embraced me into a huge hug.

“Thank you,” he said into my hair, and I smiled.

“Anything for you,” I told him, and he went back to the bathroom. I sat down on the couch and started playing with one of the many rips in my jeans as I heard the shower water start to run. I grabbed the hair tie from my wrist, and put my dark purple hair into a sloppy ponytail. I picked up the remote and started flipping aimlessly through the channels. I wasn’t interested in the TV at all, but it was better than sitting back and twiddling my thumbs until Jimmy got out of the shower. I was glad I forced him to take it, because he smelled like ass.

He finally emerged from the hallway, not wearing the shirt I put out for him, showing all of his tattoos. The long ends of his hair were dripping remnants of his shower. He plopped down beside me, and I could smell the male hygiene products I had for him in the shower. Him staying over was almost a regular occurrence, “can we watch a scary movie,” he begged, knowing the phobia I had of them, but he always made me feel safe. I sighed in defeat and he headed straight for the movie cabinet. I got to spend most of the movie cowering behind him, too scared to look at the screen, until he put on a regular TV show. I looked over at him, to see him look somewhat bothered.

“Jimmy,” I asked, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder, “What’s wrong,” I asked, not used to seeing something other than a smile on his face. He shook his head slightly, and his gaze retreated to the floor. I sighed as I got on all fours on the cream colored carpet, and crawled to the space in front of him. I sat cross-legged in front of him, and looked into his eyes, “What’s wrong, James,” I asked, this time a more serious tone took over my voice.

“Suck my dick,” he said, pushing my face into his crotch. My body went limp for a second while I considered biting his junk through his pants. I pushed myself up using his knees, and looked at him dumbfounded.

“Something tells me we did that wrong,” I said playfully. He didn’t look at all entertained, so I sat down next to him, and started playing with the fingers on his hand closest to me, “You know you can always tell me anything,” I said, my voice only above a whisper.

“Well,” he said, and his voice cracked, causing him to clear his throat, “there’s this girl. I really like her, a lot, and I shouldn’t,” he admitted, nearly breaking my heart into a million pieces.

“Why, is she already taken?” I asked, and he shook his head, “she’s still lucky,” I thought that had stayed in my head, but apparently my mouth wanted part of the action. I looked at him awkwardly, not knowing what to expect now.

“She’s beautiful, smart, funny, talented, and way too good for me, because I’m a no good fucking druggie,” he looked at me with a soft expression. I was curious as to who had taken hold of his heart like this so I could shove her face into a bear trap.

“You’re not a no good druggie. You’re talented, and this girl should be honored that you like her. I’m sure she likes you back,” I don’t know why I let those words come out, but they sure weren’t loud. I don’t know why I was urging him to go after this estranged girl. Jimmy started caressing my cheek with his thumb as his lips found their way to mine, the feel of his labret cold against my skin. His tongue traveled inside my mouth, searching for my own. My tongue ring seemed a lot heavier at this moment. It was a long kiss, definitely not one of the friendly gestures he’s ever shared with me before. I was breathing heavily when he pulled away, and he was smiling widely. He stood up, bringing me with him, and then threw me over his shoulder. He turned off the TV and started walking back to my room.

He gently placed me down on my bed and climbed on top of me, continuing our kiss, sending them down my jaw, and my neck. His fingertips started trailing patterns underneath my shirt, until he took action and slipped it off over my head. He went for the hem of my pants, and it started becoming perfectly clear to me where this was going. I wasn’t going to question it, and the girl he was talking about earlier, and I was going to enjoy this moment. He tugged my pants off, exposing me in my undergarments. Eventually we were both completely bare, and it led to where I thought it was. This was like taking heroine. He was my own personal drug.

Once we were done with our little adventure, we lay under my covers. I was cuddled into him, not wanting to let go as he endlessly stroked my hair.

“You want to know the best thing about this girl,” he asked suddenly, his voice in a daze. I snorted as I started getting up in order to go get my clothes on, but he grabbed my upper arm, and I looked at him, since my eyes were now adjusted to the dark.

“Let me go,” I hissed. I don’t think I had ever been so hurt.

“I just wanted to tell you more about this wonderful girl,” he started, and I rolled my eyes. I could feel tears stinging; threatening to come out, “the fantastic girl that’s right in front of me,” his voice was calm, and I could feel myself getting goose bumps all over, “That takes care of me and makes sure I’m always okay,” his voice was soft, and I fell back into him.

“It’s me?” my question came out breathy, as the realization hit. He had been talking about me the whole time.

“It’s always been you,” he told me.

“You never said anything,” I muttered.

“I didn’t know how you felt about me,” he admitted sheepishly.

“And do you now?” I asked and he shook his head slightly.

“So what are they,” he asked.

“I like you – a lot,” I told him, earning myself a kiss on the forehead.

“So what are we going to do about this,” he asked, and I only hoped that this was going where I thought it was.

“I dunno,” I shrugged nonchalantly, “what do you wanna do,” I started tracing images on his abdominals.

“Will you be my girlfriend,” he asked, and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up.

“If you move in with me,” I compromised, “I’m really not comfortable with you illegally living in a Laundromat on the sketchy part of town.”

“Yes,” he said, earning himself a tender kiss on the lips. I let myself drift off to sleep, the smile plain as day on my face.

I would never have guessed I was going to end up with Jimmy. I guess I was too blind to see the little hints he dropped, such as the ‘friendly gestures’. My heart was thumping out of my chest as I thought about all of the things that could – maybe would – happen. I woke up to a burning smell, and I became immediately alarmed. I jumped out of bed, and slipped into my clothes. I grabbed my phone and car keys as I started running down the hall. Wait, where the fuck was Jimmy? Smoke was coming from the kitchen, where he also made his appearance, only clad in boxers.

“I may or may not have fucked up the eggs,” he said, a spatula in his hand. I walked into the kitchen, where the smoke was now clearing, and glanced down into the frying pan.

“Those were eggs,” I asked skeptically.

“Okay, that’s it, I’m taking you out for breakfast. Get dressed,” he said, throwing the spatula in the sink.

©Shannon.