We're Going to Hell

Brian was holding me to his side when his cell-phone went off, “Nah, man. No, but I’ll call you if I hear anything, as I expect you to do for me,” he said into the speaker, and my eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He said a goodbye to whoever he was talking to and looked at me, “well, Zacky’s missing in action,” he told me, and I shook my head.

“I should go see if Saleigh’s okay,” I said, getting up, and then he stopped me.

“Johnny only said that he hasn’t been seen or heard from in a couple of hours. I don’t think it’s something serious that she’s freaking out over,” he reassured me, and I nodded my head in agreement.

“Probably. If so, she would have called me, freaking out,” I said, and leaned back on his bed, “I just hope he’s okay,” I worried.

“Stop, he’s fine. Zacky’s a big boy, he can take care of himself,” he said in a convincing tone.

“Well, I can’t help it. He’s like a brother to me,” I said, starting to bite my fingernails. A bad habit that I succeeded in getting rid of, but came back occasionally at times like this.

“So what am I to you,” he asked, and the smirk was obvious in his voice.

“You’re my boyf – I mean – I don’t know. What are you to me,” I caught myself before I let the whole word slip, but I spilt just enough of it.

“Well apparently I’m your ‘boyf’,” he teased, and I playfully shoved on his chest, “Well, I guess I kind of consider you my girlfriend,” he admitted, and I could feel my face flush and my cheeks burning red as I blushed.

“So it’s official, we’re acting like middle school kids,” I said with a laugh.

“Um, the coolest middle school kids,” he corrected me, and I shook my head, not being able to believe how much has changed between us from the time I moved into his apartment and now, “and I was wondering if you’d permanently come live with me. I’d feel much more relaxed if you were here, because lately things have been kind of fucked up for you,” he proposed.

“The funny thing about that was I didn’t really plan on leaving,” I said, and he kissed me on my forehead.

“So we’ll go get your stuff tomorrow,” he offered.

“Actually, I think I’ll go with Saleigh. We had a few other things planned tomorrow, so just adding dropping by my apartment won’t be a big deal,” I lied.

“Alright, that’s fine,” he smiled, getting out of bed, “I think we should go get something to eat, I’m fucking starved,” he suggested, and even the talk of food reminded me that I hadn’t eaten all day and was extremely hungry.

“Sounds like a plan, just let me take a shower and get dressed,” I said, and he kissed me before he let me leave the room, which made me smile in return. I quickly took my shower, washing away all of today’s oil and sweat. Since all Brian and I really did was lay around all day, I wasn’t really dirty, but I couldn’t go out in public without taking a shower. Once I got out, I pulled on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt, followed by my sneakers. I dried my hair, putting it into a bun, and put on a minor amount of makeup.

“You look nice,” Brian appeared in the doorway, causing me to jump.

“I look like I usually do,” I corrected him, putting all of my stuff away.

“Yeah,” he weighed this in his head, “and you always look nice,” he said, causing me to smile again, “So we’re going to meet Johnny and his date at that one Japanese place,” he told me, and I shot up, staring at him like he was insane.

“Johnny has a date? Stop shitting me,” I said, jokingly.

“Okay, the boy may be a short shit and really annoying, but he can get a girl…If she’s blind…and deaf,” he said, and we both started laughing, “so shall we go,” he said, grabbing my hand, and already walking to the front door.

“Well, I’ve got all of my stuff, so yes,” I quickly checked to make sure I had my phone and wallet in the pockets of my sweat shirt, and I followed him outside to his SUV. He opened the door for me, like he often did when I rode with him in his car, and ran around the front to get into the driver’s seat.

“Okay, no cracks on his girlfriend,” he warned as he backed out of the parking space.

“Why? What’s wrong with this one?” I asked, and he shook his head smiling. Every time Johnny got a girlfriend, there was usually something insanely wrong with her. Like one tried to kill him, one had a fetish with poop…a sexual fetish, at that.

“I haven’t figured out yet, but I understand that usually it’s best for my safety to not say anything bad about them, seeing as the first time I did I almost lost my thumbs,” he said, and I decided that I didn’t want to know.

“Alright, so I’ll keep all of my jokes to myself about the girl, but release the Kraken on Johnny,” I said.

“Would we ever have it any other way?” he asked rhetorically, and I looked out of the passenger side window as rain started falling softly, giving me a calm feeling. It was the first time in a very long time that I had been calm, what with everything that’s been going on. I still had to get the money from my parents, or Jimmy was going to kill me. Then the pain of his betrayal came back, and tears were already wanting to come out, but I held them back, “Hey, what’s wrong,” Brian said, carefully grabbing my hand, and started stroking my thumb with his own.

“Nothing, we’ve all just been through a lot lately, and it’s stressing me out,” that was only a minor lie, because it was also the truth.

“I know, love, but it will be okay,” he had no idea of anything that was going on, and I couldn’t tell him. I only hoped that Saleigh hadn’t told anybody, because then we’d be fucked. They’d think we were crazy, they’d probably get me locked up into an asylum, and then Jimmy would kill them all, another promised part of his threat. I swallowed hard, hoping that I could swallow away reality, and everything that way going on around me. All of the bad things that were slowly tearing my mentality apart. I’d have to go talk to my parents sometime this week. I don’t know how I would convince them to give me the money. I’d probably have to tell them I needed a new car, since I was in that horrible accident, which they would believe. I’d still have to buy the car of course, because if I didn’t, they’d wonder what the money was truly invested into, “we’re here,” Brian said, breaking the silence of the car, and the racing thoughts in my head. I looked over at him, giving him a quirky smile, telling him I was happy I had him, and he gave me a reassuring squeeze of the hand, “Everything will be okay, Pay, I promise,” he leaned over, giving me a tender kiss on the lips, and got out of the car, running around the front to open my door for me.

“Thanks,” I said as he grabbed my hand, and slammed my door shut for me. He used the locking device on his car keys to lock the SUV once we were under the shelter, clicking the button twice until the car made a loud beeping sound.

“Well I see Johnny’s car, so they’re already here,” he said, leading me into the restaurant.

“Over here,” Johnny yelled to us, his hand lifting.

“Johnny we can’t see you,” Brian yelled back, but not loud, “You’ll have to stand on a chair, or something,” Brian teased, and I giggled as we walked over to the table Johnny was at.

“You’re a fucking asshole, Haner,” Johnny said in a mock pissy tone, and smiled once he turned to me, “Hey, Payden. I heard the unfortunate news of your recent relationship with Syn, here. I just wanted to apologize,” he said.

“As I’d like to warn your lady friend here to get out while she can,” Brian taunted Johnny, and turn his head to Johnny’s date. She was obviously a little bit shorter than Johnny, and actually pretty, “What is your name, anyways,” he asked pleasantly.

“Eliza,” she said. I could already tell that this was going to be an interesting event.

“Oh, I’m Brian, this is my girlfriend Payden, and you already know the twerp called Johnny Christ,” Brian said, and Johnny got a scowl on his face.

“Yeah, I’m actually a huge fan of your band,” she said, and I could already classify this date. She was a fangirl, meaning she would be clingly, obsessive, and totally ‘in love’.

“That’s how I met her. I saw her walking down the street in an Avenged Sevenfold shirt and went to talk to her,” Johnny smiled proudly.

“Awwuhh,” I pitched in, “is that what you’re going to tell your children,” I teased, earning an eye roll from Johnny, and a blush from Eliza.

“I thought she’d be all fan girl on me, but it turns out she’s actually pretty cool,” Johnny talked her up.

“Also, I wanted to say sorry for your loss, Jimmy was an amazing person,” this hit something in me. I stood up, giving her a deathly stare.

“Don’t talk about him like you knew him,” I didn’t even know him, apparently. Every time he said he loved me, it was a lie. He used me, hurt me, and now he wants to kill me. Having Jimmy being brought up was not the best thing for me right now. I turned around and left the restaurant, and the footsteps behind me told me that Brian was coming after me.

“Payden, is Jimmy what’s been bothering you,” Brian asked, and there was a small hint of hurt deep down in there.

“As a matter of fact; yes. But it’s not because I miss him dearly and am still in love with him, because I don’t, and I’m not,” I said, rather harshly, something I didn’t mean to aim at Brian.

“Then what’s going on. You know you can talk to me,” He said, pulling me into his chest, holding me.

“I don’t even know what’s going on, but when I figure it out, I promise I’ll tell you,” I said, pulling away, and kissing him, “I do love you, I’m just trying to figure some things out, and would rather not try to explain them until I’ve got full details,” I said, freaking out in my mind because one of the things I feared most was happening. People were getting suspicious about what was going on with me, and I couldn’t even explain it to them because even I didn’t know. Not to mention I dragged Saleigh into this, and she was already getting hurt.

“Alright. Well, let’s go pick up some take-out and go back home. On the up-side, you should have seen the look on Eliza’s face when you gave her that look. My head almost exploded from holding in the laughter. I made sure not to smile even, god that was so fucking hard,” he said, opening the door to the SUV for me after unlocking it, and then getting in the driver’s seat, “so what would you like to eat,” he asked.

“Let’s just go get some pizza, I guess,” I said. I wasn’t really in the mood to eat anymore, but my stomach strongly disagreed with me, so we picked up the food, and went back to the apartment, where we ate, and went to bed.

The next morning, I woke up by getting non-stopping calls. When I picked up my phone, instead of silencing it like I had originally planned, I saw that it was Saleigh. Maybe it was important, or about Zacky, “yeah,” I said groggily into the receiver.

“Payden, I desperately need you to get over here now,” she said, telling me that this was important.

“Alright, I’ll be there in like thirty minutes,” I told her.

“Good. Just…hurry up, please,” she said, and hung up without a bye.

“Bye to you, too,” I muttered to myself, and turned over to Brian. I gently shook him awake, watching him react to my face with a smile, “Hey, Saleigh needs me to come over, she says it’s important, okay?”

“Yeah,” he said, closing his eyes again, “love you,” he said.

“Love you, too,” I replied, getting up, and going to my room, looking through my clothes until I decided I didn’t care what I had on, and pulled a pair of pants and a shirt on, and put on my sneakers. I left the house, making sure to grab a house key and locking the door behind me as I made the short walk to Saleigh’s house, where I let myself in. She wasn’t sitting on the couch, or at her desk, meaning she was upstairs in her room.

I walked up the steps, seeing her through her open room door, sitting on the side of her bed, a freaked out look on her face, “Saleigh,” I said, and she jumped at my voice, and calmed down once she saw it was me, and went back to the position she was in.

“Zacky was in a car accident last night, and is in a coma,” she said.

“Say, that’s fucking horrible,” I said.

“They said he’s going to wake up soon, and doesn’t have severe damage,” she added.

“Well then, that’s reassuring,” I said, putting a hand on her back.

“I’m fucking pregnant,” she finished, and it was like I was frozen, because I couldn’t move, or talk, or think, “yeah, I know. I said the same thing,” she added.

©Shannon.