Inhale

"Evie?" I heard Sid say in my ear about three months later. I had stayed at his house because Corey was out of town for a few days. I looked up and saw him grin at me.

"Hey girl. Gonna sleep all day?" He asked.

"No. I need to get up." I sighed.

"Corey should be back later this afternoon." He told me.

"That's what he had said." I told him.

"How are things going with you two?" He asked.

"Really good. I like him alot." I smiled. He grinned.

"Couldn't tell or anything." He laughed. I got up and got ready for the day.

I hadn't heard from Corey when he said he would call that afternoon. I had finished my shift and Marco followed me over to Corey's house. I wanted to drive, at least have some control in my life. I saw his car sitting there when I pulled up. I got out and waved to Marco, knocking on the door. When he finally answered, I was shocked at how he looked. He looked terrible. He hadn't shaved, his hair was a mess.

"Hey." He grumbled, letting me in.

"Hey. Are you ok?" I asked him. He didn't say anything, just walked to the living room. I followed him and that's when I saw all the beer cans, and a whiskey bottle. He sat down and smirked at me.

"Corey? What...what happened?" I asked, carefully sitting down.

"Nothing." He snapped. I felt really nervous and remembered what Sid told me about when he drank.

"Ok. Why are you drinking again?" He asked. He glared at me.

"Are you my fucking mom? Am I not allowed to drink?" He growled. He's never talked to me like this. I didn't know what to say to him.

"Um, I just thought you said you were done drinking." I said quietly. He's annoyed with me and took a swig of whiskey.

"What do you want anyways?" He asked in a shitty tone.

"You know, I'm gonna head out." I said standing up. He is right over to me.

"Gonna run and tell your boyfriend Sid?" He growled.

"What? Jesus. I'm leaving. Don't bother calling me." I snapped. He grabbed my arm and I froze.

"Don't wanna fuck me either?" He asked in my ear. I turned and slapped him in the face. He laughed and dropped my arm. He looked absolutely disgusted with me.

"Fucking leave." He snapped.

I ran out of there and got in my car. I drove home in tears. I cannot believe the person he just became. I pulled into my driveway and got out, sobbing hard.

"Evie?" I heard Sid call out from his yard. He jogged up to me and I'm a mess. "Hey, what the fuck happened? Why are you alone?"

"He was drunk when I got there." I sobbed into his chest.

"Corey?" He asked. I nodded. I launched into everything that had happened between us. Sid is beyond pissed at this point.

"Come on. Let's go inside." He said.

I cried almost all night, while Sid and I laid on the couch. He apologized over and over to me. It's not his fault. It's not mine either, I know this. But I'm not ready to talk to Corey any time soon.

I wasn't surprised when he showed up at my work the next morning either. I didn't say anything when I saw him come inside. I just went to the back. Marco told him I wasn't up to talking to him. I had shut my phone off to avoid any messages or calls from him that day.

I kept this up for close to three weeks. I didn't answer the door when he came by, which was every day. Sid went off on him a few times even. I was trying to get over him the best that I could, and had been convincing myself as well. Then Sid dropped a bomb on me.

"Evie, we need to talk." Sid told one night. I looked at him. "There is a small tour for about two months that I have to leave for in two days. I need you to come with me. I can't leave you here alone. You know that." Sid said.

"What!? You want me to be on a bus with all of you?" I can't believe what I'm hearing.

"Yeah. I need you to do this for me. Please? I'm begging you. Marco can watch Orco, and take care of the shop. Please?" He begged.

"Fuck! Goddammit Sid!" I groaned. His eyes begged me. I sighed. "Fine. But tell Corey to stay away." I said.

"I can do that. But, no guarantees. I'm sorry." He said. I nodded.

For the first week on the bus, Corey kept his distance. His eyes were always on me though. I tried very hard to not look at him, just tried to pretend he wasn't there. I slept in the bunk with Sid, and I could see the glares coming from Corey each night.

One night I went outside to get away from all of them. I walked behind the bus and leaned against it. "If you came out here to avoid me, you're gonna be disappointed." I heard behind me. I jumped and shrieked.

"Shit. Evie, I didn't mean to scare you. Are you ok?" He asked. I turned and looked at him. He looks terrible, like he hasn't slept in a month. Dark circles are under his eyes. He gave up on shaving, and his clothes are wrinkled.

"I'm fine." I said walking away. I heard him sigh as he walked behind me.

"Can I have five minutes? Please?" He asked. I stopped and turned, crossing my arms at him. He looked relieved.

"I'm so fucking sorry. I was so fucking wrong. I'm so sorry. I know what I said to you that night, and you have every right to hate me. I can't eat or sleep. I'm going crazy not being with you." His voice was breaking. He wiped his eyes.

"I never meant to hurt you, and that made me realize how much I hate drinking. I'm never doing it again. I'm sorry Evie." He whispered. I nodded, tears going down my cheeks. He took a step closer and I backed up.

"I should go inside." I whispered. He looked at the ground and nodded.

"Right. I didn't mean to bother you or upset you more. I want to be with you more you will ever know. I just hope you can forgive me somehow." He said.

"I just need some time to think about it." I said. He looked up at me and grinned. I can see the hope in his eyes.

"I can live with that." He said quietly. I nodded and went back inside the bus. Sid was in the bunk when I got back and he looked at me, getting out.

"I'm gonna kick his ass." He growled. I stopped him and shook my head.

"He apologized. I told him I need time to think about it." I said. He grinned and nodded.

"Make sure it's what you want and that you can really forgive him." He said quietly. I nodded and laid down next to him. I laid there wide awake almost the entire night.

I laid on a couch the next night backstage waiting for them to be done. I miss Corey so much. I really do. I'm just really hurt. The look on his face that night after I slapped him was nothing but complete disgust with me. I know I slapped him, and I'm wrong in doing that. I never should of hit him. I was so hurt and so angry with how he treated me, that it happened before I could stop myself.

I sighed and sat up, hearing the door open. Corey walked in and looked surprised to see me. They must be done since he is in street clothes and his hair is wet.

"Oh. Uh, sorry. I was looking for Jim." He said awkwardly.

"It's fine I was just leaving." I said. I got up and quickly walked past him. I avoided his eyes but could feel them on me.

"Evie?" He called to me. I turned around and looked away. "Has that guy bothered you at all? I've been worried." He told me.

"No. I've been staying with Sid. You know, my other boyfriend according to you." I snapped. Dammit Evie! Corey closed his eyes and sighed.

"Ok. I deserved that. I'm sorry I ever said that." He said calmly.

"Yeah. Me too. I would never do something like that Corey." I told him. Now I can't shut my fucking mouth.

"But you know what they say when you drink, the truth always comes out about how you really feel. That's what I have a hard time with. I get the feeling a lot of what you said was shit you kept buried." I said.

"No that's not true Evie. I was a prick. I know I was. I'm so sorry. I never meant any of it." He said desperately. I nodded and left the room. I met up with Sid and he looked at me.

"Need a beer?" He asked.

"I need many beers. Yes." I told him.

And that is what we did. We sat on a picnic table and drank alot that night. I ended up passing out on top of the picnic table next to Sid who was already asleep.

"Really guys?" I heard. I groaned at the bright sun beating down on me. Sid was curled around me asleep. I nudged him awake and looked up.

"Didn't think you two were drinking together ever again?" Corey smirked. The rest of them are laughing and taking pictures. I flipped them off.

"Yeah. We weren't." I said. Sid sat up and looked at me.

"We slept out here?" He asked. I nodded, holding my head. "Huh. That's some shit." He grinned. He looked around at all the beer cans. "Evie? You drank the rest of that eighteen pack?" He asked.

"Yep. Still drunk too." I smiled. The guys are laughing hard at us. I got off the picnic table and stumbled into Corey. He grabbed me and laughed.

"Let me help you. Please?" He asked.

"I'm too drunk to care." I replied. He grinned and shook his head, helping me inside.

"Uh, how much did you have?" He asked, sitting me down in Sid's bunk.

"Twelve." I said happily. His eyes got big.

"Oh my God!" He laughed.

"Need sleep." I muttered laying down. I felt covers being pulled over me. I was drifting off when I felt his lips on my forehead.

"I miss you Evie." He whispered. I fell into a deep sleep.

I woke with a jolt later, terrified out of my mind. My dream didn't make any sense other than I was being chased and I was scared. I saw the curtain open and Corey stood in front of me.

"Hey, it's ok." He said quietly. I panted and I can feel myself shaking. "Come here." He whispered. I fell into his arms crying. I didn't care who it was, I just needed someone to make me feel safe. The bus was quiet and I moved back finally.

"Um. Thanks. I, uh, need a shower." I said getting up. He nodded and moved out of the way. I grabbed some clothes and went to get ready. When I got done, Corey was waiting for me by the kitchen area.

"Feel better?" He asked. I nodded. "I made you some soup." He said. I don't know what to do, so I sat down. He put the soup in front of me and I stirred it.

"Thank you." I said quietly. He nodded and sat across from me.

"I don't mind. You know I don't." He said. I ate a little and then sat staring out the window. "What is it?" He asked.

"I was being chased in my dream." I said.

"I'm sorry Evie. I wish that never happened to you." He said. I nodded.

"Me too." I said. I finished eating and cleaned up my dishes. I headed to the front of the bus to go outside.

"Where are you going?" Corey asked me.

"Just out for a walk." I said. He was already behind me and worried.

"Not alone, ok?" He asked.

"I don't know if that's a good idea." I said carefully. I know he's not drunk, but he scared the shit out of me that night.

"Evie, I would never lay a hand on you. Drunk or sober. Never." He said just as careful.

"You scared the shit out of me that night. You were so mean and when you told me to leave, the look on your face was disgust. I shouldn't of-" He stopped me.

"I'm sorry. I wish I could change it, but I can't. I was disgusted with myself. Not you Evie. It was me." He said, his face pained as he said it.

"I mean it Evie. I wouldn't ever lay a hand on you, and I was so disgusted with myself. I'm sorry. I just hope you'll give me a chance to show you that I mean everything I've said." He said. He looks like he's ready to cry, and I feel like I might. He walked closer to me and I didn't move. He slowly reached up and placed his hand on the side of my face. My eyes closed at his touch.

"Do you still have feelings for me?" He whispered. I opened my eyes, realizing how close he is to me. There is very little space between us. "If you don't, I'll walk away and leave you alone. But I think you do." He whispered. I feel my breathing increasing as he looks at me.

"Yes. I do." I whispered. He looked so happy. He leaned down close to my lips and the bus door opened. Alex and Jim walked in and looked at us.

"Uh. Sorry?" Jim asked. I grinned and walked off the bus. I can't believe I just let that almost happen. I wish I knew what to do.