The Visit

“You can’t see her right now.”

I looked at my girlfriend’s mom angrily. How was this woman going to keep me from seeing someone I had lived with for so long and been together since adolescence?

“I just need to see her Kim, please. I just want to talk to her.”

“I’m sorry Anthony but she just needs to be with her family and recover. She’s going through a lot right now and having you around can make her situation worse.”

I swallowed a few angry words. This was the mother of the woman I had loved for over five years now. I couldn’t go around picking fights with people my girl loved. Hailey needed everyone that loved her right now.

“Kim please... You don’t understand. It’s been over a week now; let me at least see her for a few minutes.”

Kim shook her head, “I’m sorry I am but this is my daughter and I don’t want her to get worse. Whatever you two are going through is eating her up. She just needs time and space, she hasn’t even asked about you.”

A low blow.

I sighed, “Alright, I’ll go but you can’t keep me away from her forever. I hope you know that.”

I made my way out of the hospital confused. The thought of being in a building with so many sick people, with people going through worse made my stomach turn. Hailey wasn’t supposed to be here. Walking towards my car, everything that had happened pulled me into a spell. Was this my fault? Could I have prevented this from happening? Where there any signs? Could I have done all this to her?

I got to my car with keys in handshaking. My eyes were watery. My heart was pounding in my chest. My vision had become blurry. What was I going to do if she never got out of this place?

South Carolina Mental Health Unit, Hailey didn’t belong here. She belonged with me. She belonged in a happy home with no worries about running away or hurting herself.

I sat in my car sobbing. I had to see her; I had to make sure that she was okay. I balled up my fists on the steering wheel and made up my mind. Visiting hours weren’t over. If I stayed long enough Hailey’s family would leave and I might have enough time to see her. I got out of my car and ran back to the mental unit. She couldn’t be too bad if she had visitors now, could she?

I waited over an hour but it was an hour well spent. I thought long and hard on everything that our relationship had put us through. We had our ups and downs, we fought, we argued but we remained together because with even the negativity around us… we made ourselves each other’s positivity.

As the door to the entrance of the unit opened and I closed I held my breath, if Hailey’s mom saw me there she wouldn’t let me in again. I waited patiently and it paid off. Hailey’s mother and father made their way out of the hospital and I was left unnoticed. Taking a deep breath I got up and made my way to the nurse’s station. After signing in and being brought in to the waiting room, I realized my hands where shaking. I closed my eyes and just thought about the last time we saw each other. She wasn’t fully herself but she was the girl I had loved for years.

“Anthony?”

I looked up and saw her. All the worry, the panic I felt slowly began to leave me.

“Hailey.” I slowly moved closer to her and hugged her. I closed my eyes as I breathed in her scent. We pulled away and her smile made me for a second forget where we were.

“I’m so happy you are here. I wasn’t expecting anybody else to come. Who told you where I was? I tried telling my parents to let you know but…”

“Your sister called me. Told me you were here since Sunday but whenever I tried coming… it was too late.”

She placed her hand on the side of my face, “I’m just so happy to see. I’ve missed you so much.” I hugged her again and kissed her on the lips, “I’ve missed you too.”

After a few minutes of talking I looked at her and said, “I love you. I hope you never forget that.”

Hailey smiled, “And I love you.”

“Visiting time is over.”

I looked behind me; it was an older man holding a clipboard. I nodded in his direction and turned back to Hailey, “I’m really sorry if I haven’t been the best support for you. I just want you to know that I want us to work and even if your family doesn’t approve as long as you want me, I will always be there.”

Hailey smiled and nodded, “I love you Anthony, never think otherwise. My family is important to me but you are family too.” We kissed goodbye and I hugged her one more time.

It wasn’t the visit I wanted. Part of me hoped that the doctor would come and tell us she was discharged. But part of me was at ease. She was getting the help she needed and I had finally seen her. That’s all that mattered now.