Promises to Keep

"I firstly just want to say I'm sorry" Tyler began softly. He and Tayla found themselves in the kitchen, clasping cups of coffee between their hands. They sat across the table from each other, and the tension in the room was that which the two had ever experienced; it was hard for Tyler to deal with.

"Okay" Tayla replied, unsure of what to say. If she hadn't have drank so much last night she was certain she wouldn't have gotten any sleep at all. Ever since Jason's confession, her mind was in overdrive. There was no good way to process the information she was given; could anyone? As much as she loved Tyler, she had never been more furious with him in her entire life. The question remained, would she forgive him?

"Just know, anything I ever did was because I love you" Tyler told her honestly.

"So you put me through hell because you love me? Made me question my self worth because you love me? Made me think there was something wrong with me because you love me?" Tayla near exploded. "That seems a little hard to believe" she scoffed, now beginning to feel the rage come back to her.

"I know it seems like that, but that's not-"

"And another thing, we're you ever planning on telling me? Or was this just something you were going to keep from me forever?" She asked seriously.

"I wanted to tell you! I wanted to tell you the first time it happened, accidently" Tyler confessed, thinking back to the first time it happened. He never intended to hurt her; but it kept happening. All Tyler ever wanted was for Tayla to be happy, and for the longest time he was convinced being with him was in her best interest. All along, he didn't realize it was in his best interest, not hers.

"How does it happen accidently?" Tayla scoffed, becoming more infuriated by the minute.

"It happened with Jake the first time" Tyler began, remembering the day more clearly. "He never liked me- he always hated me. Though we hung around the same circle of friends, it was obvious he didn't want me around you" he told Tayla with a sigh.

"I didn't know he didn't like you" Tayla whispered, before Tyler continued.

"I just told him I wasn't going anywhere; we were best friends and that was that. I told him if he wanted to date you, he'd have to keep being friendly with me; and I guess he didn't like that, because-"

"Because he dumped me the night of senior prom, telling people I cheated on him" Tayla finished for him. "I didn't realize it was because of a conversation you had with him" she stated, feeling slightly less angry, but no less heartbroken.

"There was a little more to it than that, but that was the just of the conversation" Tyler admitted sheepishly. "I didn't think he would turn around and dump you! I thought he would talk to you about it or realize that we were friends" he felt guilty none the less.

"So afterwards you decided you wanted to do that to all of my boyfriends?" she scoffed.

"It was then I realized I was in love with you" he whispered. "In high school"

"Why didn't you say anything?" Tayla asked, honestly taken aback. She never did have the sense Tyler liked her as anything other than a friend ever, up until a few weeks ago. He was always with someone, or having one night stands; if he truly did feel that way, it certainly didn't show.

"I was afraid" Tyler stated the obvious. "I didn't think you'd be interested in a guy like me" he told her honestly, looking her in the eyes. "I wasn't a good person. I hurt people, didn't make the best decisions sometimes, partied way too often-"

"Tyler, stop" Tayla refused to hear any more of him insulting himself. "I've never thought anything but positive things about you, Ty" she told him. "You were a good person, and everyone makes bad choices; that doesn't make you not worthy of dating me or whatever" she passed the idea off as ridiculous.

"So I was a coward; I made a bad decision. I realized if you stayed single until we were 35, I wouldn't even have to confess anything- we'd just be married, just like we promised" when he said the words, he realized how stupid he was.

"I'm really flattered you remembered that" Tayla half smiled, "but do you hear how ridiculous that sounds?" she then asked, becoming more serious. Tyler frowned, and nodded, allowing Tayla to continue. "I just- I just don't know if I can forgive you" she blurted out, and Tyler's eyes went wide.

"Tay, please" Tyler all but begged, shoving his coffee to the side and getting up from his seat. "I can't lose you; I love you. You're the most important thing in my life; I need you" he whispered, now standing very close to her. Tayla stood up, and felt her heart break for multiple reasons. Not only for the hurt and betrayal she felt, but for how distraught Tyler looked, despite him bringing it on himself.

"If that were true, you would have never have done this" Tayla whispered. "You would have told me how you felt; you wouldn't have made me question everything in my life for years" she told him, now deciding. "I love you, and I never wanted to lose you... but I just can't be with you" the words made Tyler's world crumble and shatter.

"Are you leaving?" Tyler asked, feeling his eyes well up with tears.

"Yeah. I'm sorry Ty, but I can't stay here" she told him. She stood up from her seat, and gave Tyler one last kiss on the cheek. "I'm packing my stuff; I'll be out by tomorrow" she told him, and began to walk towards her bedroom.

Tyler remained in the kitchen, frozen into place. Everything he had been trying to avoid, everything he tried so hard to hide, all came out, and had the results just as he had thought. Tayla was leaving; and Tyler wasn't certain she was ever coming back.