Promises to Keep

Tayla paced around the hotel room, debating her next move. It seemed like each decision she made, she was more unsure of herself. She stayed with her parents for one night before deciding she had to get out. She loved her parents; they were amazing people. But it just didn't feel right being there; it wasn't home anymore. To Tayla, home no longer was a place, it was a person; and that person, was Tyler.

With a knock at the door, she knew it would be Cassidy with their lunch. Through all of this, Cassidy had been her rock. She would be lying if she said she didn't cling to their friendship as a way of not truly letting go of Tyler. It was crazy the effects Tyler had on her.
Tayla opened the door, her half smile turning into a serious expression when she saw who was on the other side. She rubbed her eyes, wanting to make sure it wasn't a dream.

"Tyler?" Tayla asked, feeling her heart rate increase. Tyler nodded, knowing he looked equally as shitty as he felt.

"Yeah" he whispered. "I hope it's okay that I'm here" he then added in a hushed tone. He had found out from Cassidy that she hadn't lasted more than a night at home, not that he was surprised. She seemed reluctant, but she finally gave Tyler the name of the hotel Tayla was at, and her room number. "I know Cass was supposed to bring lunch, so I brought your favourite" he spoke up since Tayla remained silent.

"Thanks" Tayla replied, still shocked at his appearance. "Do you- do you want to come in?" she asked Tyler, gesturing inside. Tyler nodded, trying not to look too eager, but at this point not really caring. He came inside, and Tayla gently closed the door behind him. Despite her horrific birthday party being a week ago, being apart from Tyler made it seemed one hell of a lot longer. It was true, they use to go months without seeing each other before she made the move to Dallas, but it was different, knowing what happened, and knowing things wouldn't be the same.

"How are you?" Tyler asked, taking a seat on the bed, after setting the bag of lunch containing her favourite from Wendy's on the bedside table. He knew it was a stupid question, but he honestly didn't know how else to begin. He spent the entire flight trying to think up ways to make it up to her, but in the end, he always fell short. No actions or words existed to his knowledge could make it up to her for what he did.

"Good. How are you?" Tayla replied and asked, equally as stupidly.

"Good" Tyler answered back. The pair both looked at each other and couldn't help but laugh. It was obvious neither of them were 'good'. In fact, they both knew they were the furthest thing from it.

"Okay, I know we're both full of shit" Tayla couldn't help but smile. She took a seat on the bed across from Tyler, and felt heartbroken simply looking at him. She felt guilty, and she wasn't even sure why.

"I know we are" Tyler smiled back. "I've been miserable, actually." he confessed, not that she didn't already know that.

"Me too" Tayla whispered softly.

"I've spent the last week trying to think of ways I can make it up to you" Tyler told her honestly. "But I can't think of anything. Nothing seems like it can ever make up for what I did"

"Tyler..." Tayla trailed off, but Tyler continued.

"I should never have done what I did. I should have told you how I felt as soon as I felt it. I shouldn't have been a coward, I should have told you the moment it happened the first time, even though it was accidental" he rambled on. "And I know you said you don't think you can forgive me, but Tay, I mean it when I say I can't live without you" he trembled a little bit on the last part. "And I know you don't trust me right now, but I'm asking you for another chance"

"Another chance?" Tayla asked, slightly confused. In her head she wanted to scream 'of course, I can't live without you either, you moron! I've been miserable not just because of what you did, but mostly because I lost you in the process'; but she couldn't get the words out. She felt like the coward; so she remained silent.

"I want to prove to you that you can trust me again" Tyler told her firmly. "I know it'll take time, but I truly am willing to do whatever it takes" he informed her. Tayla thought about it for a moment, but was unsure what to say.

"I don't know, Ty..." Tayla trailed off.

"Look, I know what I did was unforgiveable" he began to feel defeated already. "But I love you. And I miss you. I just- I want you to come home" he mumbled the last part, putting his head down sheepishly.

"I love you too, Ty and of course I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss you" Tayla told him, starting to choke up a little bit. "But I just don't know what to do" she added with a frown. The answer seemed so obvious in her head. She wanted to forgive him; she wanted to tell him she forgave him; but why couldn't the words comes out? Was it because she knew it was the wrong decision? Did she know, within herself, that the trust would never be there again?

"What about your job?" Tyler asked. "What about your life in Dallas?"

"I don't know" was all Tayla could think to say. "I want to keep my job! I do I just- I just don't know if I can do it" she mumbled. She knew she sounded like an idiot; was there anything she did know? She did know she loved Tyler, that she couldn't stay home; she didn't belong here anymore. Her life was in Dallas, and she knew it.

"Just- please don't cut me out" Tyler begged. "I don't want to lose you from my life. Please, come back to Dallas" he pleaded, finally making eye contact. They looked at each other for what felt like an eternity, and all he wanted to do, and could think about, was kissing her; holding her; touching her. He resisted; he had to accept it didn't matter what he did; she wasn't going to budge.

"Ty..." Tayla trailed off, unsure of how to proceed.

"Is there anything I can do?" Tyler asked, desperately. "Is there anything I can do? Any words I can say? To get you to realize I love you, and I need you?" he asked, grasping at straws.

"I'm sorry Tyler" Tayla answered, letting the tears fall down her cheeks. Tyler instinctively reached out and wiped them off, Tayla closing her eyes at his touch, feeling the most at peace she had in over a week. Tyler stroked her cheek, taking advantage of the moment. Tayla reached up and grabbed Tyler's hand, holding it lightly. Tyler leaned over, and kissed her gently at first, but growing with passion. Tayla allowed herself to get lost in the kiss, before she realized what was happening.

"Ty..." Tayla trailed off, getting up from the bed and wiping the tears from her cheek rapidly. She felt her lips tingle with satisfaction, but she ignored it; and did the last thing she wanted to do. "I just need time."

"Time?" Tyler asked, now standing as well.

"I need time to think. I'm sorry" Tayla told him firmly, making it clear she wasn't going to change her mind.

"Okay" Tyler told her, feeling his heart break. "If you want time, I'll give you as much as you want" he told her, though it was the last thing he wanted.

"Thank you" Tayla whispered, as Tyler made his way to the door. He went to open the door, but turned around and pulled Tayla in for one last kiss. He knew she wouldn't reject the idea, and he was right; she kissed him back just as passionately. Pulling away, he half smiled.

"I love you Tay" he whispered, leaving the hotel room, it not going as well as he had hoped.

"I love you too, Ty" Tay whispered, though she knew he couldn't hear her. If she thought she was heartbroken before, nothing prepared her for how she felt now. She had a decision to make about her future, and she had to make it quick. Would she return to Dallas? Would she stay home? Would
she forgive Tyler?

It seemed like there were too many questions, and not enough answers.